I showered, dressed for travel in comfy clothes that I could hopefully sleep in, triple checked I had everything, and then stood surveying my room for anything I might have missed.
A knock at the door startled me and Finn’s voice came as I held my hand against my heart. “Hey, do you have any matches?”
Matches?
I opened the door to find Finn holding a log of wood under one arm and a bag of marshmallows in the other. He smiled more shyly than I thought possible.
“I’m afraid to ask.” I followed him out to the living room. My fireplace hadn’t seen a real fire in as long as I’d lived here. I had candles inside and had only lit those a time or two. I grabbed a lighter I used for said candles and he motioned for me to set it down since his hands were full.
“S’mores, of course.”
I chuckled as he sat the firewood down and opened the marshmallows. He shoved one on the end of a metal skewer and handed it to me. “I didn’t have time to whittle you a proper roasting stick, but you can watch me start a fire like ole Bear Grylls.”
“Bear Grylls doesn’t use a lighter.”
“He sure as hell would if he had one. Survival tip number one, use the resources available to you.”
I sat on the floor holding my skewer in one hand and trying to teach kitty to sit while Finn grabbed the wood, cleared my fireplace of candles, and then got to work building a fire. I didn’t have much in the way of kindling, so it took some effort.
“Look, I think she’s getting it.”
“You can’t teach a cat to sit,” he argued without looking.
“Not a normal cat, but you can with Bengals.”
“There.” He stepped back and admired the fire. “I think it’s finally going.”
He grabbed the takeaway and drinks and brought it all over so we could eat by the fireplace. It was so cozy and intimate, and I wanted to be uncomfortable with it all, but I was enjoying it too much. Roasting marshmallows in my living room… my house had never seen this much excitement.
“Now, this is very important. How do you like your marshmallow?”
“Charred.”
He grimaced and shook his head. “Wrong answer. Light to medium is the best. Everyone knows this.”
“Nope, we’ll have to disagree on that. Respectfully, of course.”
We sat close together in front of the fire, holding our skewers with the marshmallows just over the flame. Kitty was between us, entranced with the fire.
“Light to medium may have to do, this skewer is getting hot.” I moved my fingers so I was just barely gripping the warm metal. It was getting hotter by the second.
“Oh shit.” He moved his skewer to his left hand and reached for mine. Warm fingers wrapped around it and he leaned closer. “I got it; you can let go.”
Holding my breath, pulse racing, I was temporarily rooted in place and forgot all about my burning fingertips.
“Adele?”
“Hmm.” I looked up into his confused face.
“You can let go.”
“Oh, right.” I scooted back so fast I startled kitty. With some distance between us, I steered the conversation back to something sure to stop my heart from fluttering. “Are you excited about moving into your new place? When’s it ready? Monday?”
“Saturday, actually. The building manager was able to move things up a couple days for me.”
“Saturday,” I repeated. He’d be gone when I got back from New York. “That’s great.”
“Yeah.” There was a hint of uncertainty in his tone, but then he nodded and said more confidently, “Yeah, of course. It’s time kitty and I get out of your hair.”
“The place won’t be the same without you two, that’s for sure.”
“Right. Hopefully we didn’t disrupt your life too much. I appreciate it, sincerely. The past two weeks could have gone a lot different if you hadn’t taken us in.”
“Right place at the right time.”
“Are you always so obstinate when someone tries to thank you?”
I pressed my lips together.
“Anyway, thank you and I’m sorry if I did or said anything that wasn’t on the up and up. Those first few days are a bit of a blur, but I’m certain I was an arsehole on at least one occasion.”
“Just one or two come to mind, huh?”
He smiled. “These are done.”
The marshmallows were only medium not charred how I preferred. He must have read it on my face.
“Try it this way and if you don’t like it, then I’ll burn the shit out of the next one.”
He assembled the s’mores, handed one to me, and then held his up in the air between us. “Cheers.”
He watched as I took a small bite. There was really no ladylike way to eat a s’more. Melted marshmallow and chocolate stuffed between two pieces of graham cracker was messy and not the least bit sexy or romantic. Or at least I’d have sworn to that fact before Finn stared at my mouth while I chewed. He still held his in one hand, perhaps waiting to see my reaction before diving in, but his throat worked, and I found myself blushing.
“How is it?”
Mouth full, I nodded my approval. He leaned forward and used the pad of his thumb to catch a crumb at the corner of my lip. Instinctively my tongue swept my lips and I swallowed. His eyes locked on to mine and I was caught in the darkening pools of blue as he slowly brought his mouth to mine.
He kissed me so tenderly and softly, but it felt like the force of a thousand tons slammed into me. I forgot to breathe or think or be. I was soul and lips alone and they’d both been claimed by Finn.
His tongue swept in for just a second and then he pulled back slightly. The next kiss was harder, hungrier. His thumb continued to trace along my bottom lip and then he nipped at it playfully.
“Adele,” he whispered my name, gruff and needy.
I was on my feet with reflexes that would have made kitty proud. I pressed two fingers to my lips. “I’m so sorry.”
Finn stood in front of me looking calm despite the panic thrumming inside me. “I think that’s my line.”
“No, this was my fault.” I walked to the kitchen and tossed what remained of the s’more into the trash. “I have a boyfriend.”
He’d abandoned his at some point as well and shoved both hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I know. Kissing you might have been a jerk move, but I just had to know.”
“Had to know what?”
“If it’d be as good as I thought.”
I wanted to be mad or outraged… anything, but what I felt – curious. Was it as good as he thought?
“It was better,” he said and came closer. “My life feels somehow fuller having met you. God, that’s cheesy right? But it’s true. I forgot what it was like to have someone cut through all the bullshit and just be with me.”
“I’m not with you.”
“See, right there. Most people in my life wouldn’t dream of calling me on some technicality, but you… you don’t give a shit if you hurt my feelings. The past two weeks I’ve been a mess, but I’m not too screwed up to see that there’s something between us.”
He was wrong. So wrong. About all of it, but especially about not caring if I hurt his feelings. I cared, it’s just that I worried about protecting myself more.
He placed a hand under my chin. It would be so easy to give in, to let him kiss me, fuck me. But no one willingly walked into the fire. I wouldn’t let him burn down my life just to satisfy some curiosity. In two days, he was going back to his real life.
“I have to go.” I stalked into my room, grabbed my suitcase and purse, and in a very uncharacteristic move, I didn’t even do a last check to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I’d worry about that if and when it happened. Right now, I needed to get the hell out of here.
Adele
I was a big, fat coward. And a tired one, too. I was going on maybe fifteen minutes of sleep. Every time I’d drifted off on the plane, I’d woken with the feel of Finn’s lips pressed to mi
ne.
Richard waved from his table, dark hair perfectly in place and crisp white button-down shirt. He smiled and I took a deep breath for the first time today. Everything was fine. I was right where I was supposed to be.
When I reached the table, he stood and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and soaked up his comforting presence and smell.
“How’d it go?”
“Good, I think. I’m so tired I can’t be sure.”
“I bet you got it. I’ve got a good feeling about this. Me, you, New York. It’s the start of something big.”
Guilt slammed into me harder than the exhaustion.
“You want to split a medium pepperoni and sausage?”
“Wait, Richard, I need to tell you something.”
He tilted his head to the side. “What is it?”
I took a drink of the water waiting on the table for me. Always so considerate.
“I kissed Finn. Or well, actually he kissed me.” I’d rehearsed it a dozen different ways. Adding in, ‘it meant nothing’ and ‘it was all him’ but those were lies and I needed Richard to have all the facts. We were starting a new life together and I wanted to do so with nothing between us.
The lines around his mouth turned down and he studied me before he said, “I knew that guy was bad news. You never should have let him stay with you.”
I considered sticking up for Finn, but that just felt like another betrayal.
“You’re right. You told me it was a bad idea and I didn’t listen. I truly didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Richard was quiet, eyes fixed on the table as he nodded slowly letting this new information sink in. Analyzing it, dissecting it – that was how Richard handled problems, with lots of careful consideration. That had always pleased me because in some way it made me feel like I’d been a careful consideration.
“Do you…” He paused, re-thinking the question. “Are we okay? Is this about us moving in together? Have you changed your mind?”
“No.” I took a deep breath. “I mean yes we’re okay, but no I haven’t changed my mind. It was…”
Don’t say a mistake. Don’t say a mistake.
“A mistake.”
God, how cliché.
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you when you voiced your concern about him staying.”
He smiled, a sort of forced but doing his best to move forward, type of grin. “Okay. If you say it didn’t mean anything then let’s move on.”
“That’s it?” Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth, why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
“Should there be more? I mean, I was worried about the guy. I saw the way he looked at you and I just knew he was going to try something, which he ended up doing, but now he’s out of our lives forever and we can forget about him.”
Forget about him. Why did I not think it would be that easy?
After lunch I went with Richard to his office. They were still working on building out offices and cubicles, but it was coming together. Mid tour he got called into a meeting and I sat in his office scrolling through my phone. I froze when I saw Finn’s name. I opened it, heart racing.
November 18, 1:21 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Sorry
I’m all moved out. My buddy Foster is letting us stay with him tonight and then he’s helping me move into the new place tomorrow. Kitty is wandering around meowing. I think she’s looking for you. I hope the interview went well. I’m sure you knocked it out of the park. I didn’t get a chance to thank you again for everything…so thanks. I’m sorry for kissing you.
Finn
P.S. I’m not really sorry.
P.P.S. I’d like to do it again.
He wanted to do it again? That made my heart flutter in my chest, but also kind of pissed me off. Even across the country he was screwing with my head. He was offering kisses and Richard was offering his whole life. It was an easy choice.
My phone rang and I answered it without even registering the caller. “Hello?”
“Hi, Adele, it’s Madelyn.”
“Oh, Madelyn. Hi.”
“Is now a good time to talk about the interview?”
“Sorry, yes. You just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until next week.”
“And I wasn’t expecting to make the call so soon, but the hiring manager called immediately after your interview. They loved you. They couldn’t put together the offer fast enough.”
“Wow. That’s amazing.” My stomach was in knots and my palms felt sweaty as Madelyn gave me the details.
“Take the weekend and think about it. They’re hoping to get someone soon, so I’d like to give them an answer by early next week.”
“Of course. I will let you know Monday morning.”
“Perfect. Congratulations, Adele. They were really blown away. If this job isn’t for you, we’ll keep looking.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
I hung up and sat in stunned silence. Just like that, things were working out. My boyfriend had forgiven me, and I had a job offer. There were no more obstacles. Every road to New York was wide open.
I got home late Sunday afternoon. I hadn’t realized I was dreading walking into an empty house until I stood on the front porch holding my key up to the lock.
Finn hadn’t emailed again or tried to contact me any other way. Not that I’d expected him to. And I was glad. Truly.
Finally, I forced myself to go in. I wheeled my suitcase to my room without allowing myself to look around. I was afraid the emptiness of the living area would be too much. I crossed to the other side of the house the same way, only looking up when I got to the doorway of the spare room. It looked exactly like it had before him, but it would always remind me of him now. No one else had ever really used it. On the few occasions that CJ had slept over, he always ended up in my room, too afraid to sleep that far away in a strange house.
I walked to the center of the room. His scent still clung to the room and tears pricked my eyes. I backed out feeling ridiculous at how sad it made me. I blamed it on too much happening too soon until I saw the ugly gold vase on the kitchen counter. Smiling, I laughed through tears at the hideous thing. Though, admittedly it wasn’t as ugly now that it had flowers in it. Somehow it worked. I fingered the pink petals. What the heck did pink roses stand for? Something decidedly not love. Regardless of what they were supposed to mean, all I felt looking at them was goodbye.
Showering and putting on leggings and a baggy t-shirt, I decided a day with family was just what I needed.
Aubrey pulled me into a hug before I could shut the front door behind me. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you.”
Pixy and CJ were right behind her and I could see how excited they were. CJ didn’t really understand of course, he was just excited anytime anyone else was. Pixy nudged my hand and I petted him. “Who is going to bring you strawberries?”
Chance cleared his throat and I looked up into my brother’s face. No excitement there.
“Hi,” I said cautiously and crossed the room. I hugged him quickly and stepped back. “I take it this is your disapproval?”
“Ignore him,” Aubrey said, gluing herself to his side. “He’s happy for you, he’s just doing a bad job of showing it.” His arm went around her automatically and something about that made it easier. My brother would be fine without me. He had his little family. He didn’t need me. It’d been the other way around – I’d always needed him and now it was time to let him focus on Aubrey and CJ.
Chance grunted. “Congratulations.”
“Real believable, bro.”
Aubrey chimed in, “Let’s sit outside where CJ can play, and you can tell us all about the job.”
Chance stayed quiet, staring out at the yard while I told them about the position, the guy that would be my boss, how close the building was to Richard, emphasizing how exci
ted we were to be in the same city and be done with the long distance.
“I think it’ll be good for all of us.” I nudged Chance’s foot with mine. “It’s about time I let you guys move on with your life and stop worrying about me. I can do this. I think I need to do this.”
I left out all of my worries that I’d fail and that I’d hate it and that I’d miss them so much. I was already having a hard time breathing just imagining it.
My brother’s gaze fell on me. Worry etched in the lines around his mouth and eyes. “This is what you want?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
Resignation slowly smoothed out his features and he nodded. “Alright. I’m gonna miss the hell out of you, but that’s all I want – for you to have everything that you want.”
“When would you move?” Aubrey asked.
“Two weeks.”
Adele
The night before I left for New York, Chance and Aubrey threw a going away party for me at their house. Richard had flown in, everyone from the office came, as well as some of Richard’s friends.
“Wow, you look amazing. Is that dress new?” Aubrey did a thrice over with her mouth hanging open.
“Is it too much?” I asked, running a hand down the front. The long dress was more daring than anything I’d ever owned. Cutouts on the sides showed a small triangle of skin and the light pink skirt was made entirely of tulle. I felt like a sexy princess.
“No, it’s perfect. Moving to New York agrees with you.”
I nodded. “To new adventures.”
We walked outside where everyone was gathered on the porch or in the yard. Twinkle lights hung all around and a long table held platters of catered food. It was the most fabulous party anyone had ever thrown for me.
I looked out at all the people, not focusing on any one person, but just enjoying the happy chatter humming through the night.
Aubrey motioned with her head to the food table. “I’m gonna grab a soda out of the cooler. Do you want anything?”
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 11
