by Melissa Haag
“I’m fine,” I stammered. “I need to get some food for the brownies.”
“Allow me. You look like you should sit down for a moment.”
I nodded woodenly at her promise to be quick and sank onto the bed while continuing to remember more. Telling Piepen not to touch himself in my presence. Scolding Elbner to be more agreeable and to stop throwing shoes.
“Will this be enough?” Mrs. Quill asked, holding out a bowl of fruit and vegetables.
“Yes. Thank you.”
My shock-numbed body managed to autopilot to the bathroom. I barely heard Merri’s thanks. Depositing the dish on the counter, I turned around and went to my closet where I picked out random clothes before shuffling to Oanen’s room.
How many times had I used this so-called skill without realizing it? Far too many, based on the memories that kept bubbling up. Holy meatless Monday, had I used it on Raiden last night when I told him to move? I cringed under the spray of the shower before an even bigger recollection hit me.
Adira, when I’d told her not to touch Fenris. I felt myself grow sicker after that one and made myself stop thinking about it. What was done, was done. But I needed to call my mom to figure out how to stop this from happening again.
Then I remembered that moment when mom had walked in on Fenris and me at her house. I turned off the water in a supreme state of shock. She’d said nothing. No, she’d apologized for interrupting me. How messed up was that? Guilt ate at me. I needed to call her.
As soon as I was done using Oanen’s room to shower and dress, I returned to my own and checked in on the brownies. Merri had dressed and was sitting beside Piepen, who was now resting and enjoying being fed a grape almost the size of his head. He still wasn’t dressed, but at least there was a tissue covering his hips.
“Good morning, princess,” he said when Merri turned to look at me.
“Morning. I’m really sorry about what I did to you with the order to clean. I didn’t know I could do that. Had I known, I would have never said what I did.”
“Goddesses give commands. I only wish I would have been well enough to carry them out for you. Thank you for saving my life so many times, Eliana. The pain in my acorns was nothing compared to the ache in my arm when I tried to clean the mirror. I’ll never forget how you helped Merri take care of me.”
His hips bucked under the tissue. Merri reached out and set a hand on his leg. He immediately stilled as she looked at me.
“Piepen’s acorns need to be milked again. I think he should be able to fly in another few hours.”
“Okay. The window’s open, so you can leave whenever you’re ready. Please just clean up when you’re done.”
“I won’t let any escape this time.”
I almost made a face. “I think Piepen’s well enough to take care of himself.”
Merri firmly shook her head. “This is the least I can do to show how much I appreciate the way he’s supported my choice.”
They shared a loving look that had me backing out of the room.
“Thank you again for all your help,” Merri called before I closed the door.
A moment later, I heard Piepen howling Merri’s name and ran from my room.
Mrs. Quill was in the kitchen when I went to pass through it on my way to the car. My steps slowed, and she looked up from her coffee. Her wariness didn’t outweigh her worry for me.
“I’m truly sorry,” I said. “I had no idea what I was doing. Both times, I think I was so hungry that I just…lost control.” And in that moment, I realized that had been what Adira feared all along. “I should have asked you for help before I got that bad.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I don’t want to feed from you. I want Fenris. I’ve been wanting him for weeks now, not understanding that I was already feeding from him. Now that I’ve tasted him?” I shook my head. “Imagine tasting your absolutely favorite food ever and then being given a vitamin water to sustain you for the rest of your life. It isn’t bad. It’s nutrient-rich and will keep you alive. It just will never ever taste like your favorite food.”
“I’m water?” she asked with a slight smile.
“Water with a hint of blueberry.”
A full smile emerged on her lips.
“You’re sweet even in your refusal, Eliana. But I understand what you’re saying. Nothing could replace Lander in my life. I wouldn’t even want to try.” She stood and hugged me. “Ignore Raiden. If Fenris is the one who calls to you, then be with Fenris.”
I hugged her in return, glad she said to be with him not only to feed from him.
“Thank you for understanding. Now that I know what happens, I’ll be more careful and will try not to let myself get so hungry.”
“I’m here if you ever need a drink of water to hold you over.”
I could feel her humor as she released me.
“Have a good day at school.”
In the car, while I let the engine warm, I dialed Mom and put it on speaker.
“Good morning, baby,” she answered. “How is the brownie?”
“The brownie’s fine. But I’m not sure I am. I know what I tried to do to you, Mom. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s every mother’s dream to be able to read her daughter’s mind, but I’m afraid that’s not a gift I possess. You’re going to have to explain what you mean.”
“I mean that thing you did in the club to make the humans protect me. I tried doing that to you when you walked in on me and Fenris at your house, didn’t I?”
“No, baby. You gave me a warning that time.”
“What do you mean that time? Was there some other time I did that mind control thing you did?”
“Yes. When you told Adira never to touch Fenris. Baby, you blocked that woman from touching your man for life. I knew you had power, but what you can do goes beyond anything I’ve ever heard of.”
I stopped at the end of the driveway because I was starting to shake.
“I’m trying not to freak out about this, but it’s not working. Mom, I’ve barely come to terms with the feeding part of who I am. I’m not sure I can deal with mind control, too. That’s not who I want to be.”
“Then don’t be that person. Having a gift doesn’t mean you need to use it.”
I took a few calming breaths.
“You’re right.” If only the guilt of my past mistakes would be so easily resolved. “How do I undo what I’ve done?”
“Do you really want to give Adira the ability to take Fenris from you?”
“No. But there are other people I’ve accidentally controlled. Piepen is one of them. I don’t plan on removing the inability to touch himself in my presence, but I said something last night that could have hurt him. If something like that happens again, I want to be able to fix it.”
“You simply need to give a command that overrules the first one.”
“But, I’m not exactly sure how I’ve been giving the commands in the first place.”
“That makes things a bit more difficult. Our ability isn’t something that’s easily taught since it feels different for each of us. For me, when I want to give a command, I have to connect with a part of myself that almost feels like a separate piece of me. It’s hard to reach, and the effort takes so much out of me that I often faint. And when I’m done, I’m hungry.”
“That’s why you were asking how I felt after I talked to Adira.”
“Yes. You’re different, baby. In a good way. You have more control than any other succubus I’ve met, and your hunger doesn’t weaken you. Not like it would for the rest of us. I think your hunger made you stronger. However, that strength doesn’t mean you’ll be able to snap your fingers and suddenly know exactly how to manipulate someone’s mind. You’re going to need to practice, Eliana, so that when you need to fix something, you know you can do it.”
I made a face.
“So I need to mess with people’s heads in order to not mess with people’s heads.”
> “I know. It’s not ideal. I suggest practicing on someone you don’t like. It’ll help you feel less guilty if things don’t go as you hope.”
“Yeah, that’s really not helpful.”
She laughed. “You did marvelously well on Raiden when he was here, and no harm was done then. Start small and work up to the bigger things.”
I sighed, not liking the reminder or the option.
“Are you coming over for breakfast?” she asked. “Your father is wondering if he should make another chocolate ganache crepe.”
“No, I’m going to school. It’s the only place I can see Fenris.”
“Raiden is atrocious. I hope he gets rabies.”
“Mom, that’s not nice.”
“That’s the point, Eliana. Neither is he.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, baby. Call me and let me know how your practice goes.”
“I will.”
Calmer, but no more assured, I drove to school. By the time I got there, the lot was full, and I had to park near the trees. That meant I was shivering before I reached the door.
Ignoring the students lingering in the halls, I sent Fenris a text.
Me: Marco.
“Polo!” The shout rang through the halls, and I laughed as I continued walking. The halls started to clear as I made my way to the first session room. Fenris sat in his usual spot. Aubrey had the seat next to him. Unlike the day before, there were no open seats.
“Does this mean my attendance is no longer required?” I asked Lucas, who watched me closely.
“Not at all. Adira would like you to use coercion to obtain a seat.”
My heart almost stopped when I thought he was referring to my newly discovered gift. Then I realized he meant sexual coercion. That meant, in order to sit next to Fenris and get rid of Aubrey, I’d need to coerce her. And, based on her narrow-eyed stare, she knew it.
“I can’t begin until you take a seat,” Lucas said.
“All right.”
I kicked his chair away from his desk and sat in it with my feet propped up on his lesson plan, grateful I’d decided on jeans today. Then I boldly stared at Lucas, daring him to say anything. Which, of course, he did.
“I meant a student seat.”
Aubrey laughed and called me simple.
“And to be clear,” Lucas said, over the student sniggers, “when you coerce one of your fellow students, your aim is not to remove them but convince them to allow you to sit in their lap.”
A smile bloomed on my face. I knew just who—
“And it can’t be Fenris,” Lucas added, killing my humor.
Frustrated and wondering why I’d even bothered to come to school, I looked at Fenris. His hands were flat on his desk, and he wasn’t smiling. In fact, he was shaking with his anger. Seeing him so upset made my chest ache, and that thing inside of me moved. My eyes widened, and realizing what it was, I quickly pushed at it. It settled again. Rather than use my so-called gifts, I used my head.
“No, thank you,” I said.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, no thank you. No, thank you, I choose not to play Adira’s silly little games. No, thank you, I’ll keep your seat. And if you want to spend this session staring at me or trying to manipulate me into doing what Adira wants, instead of teaching something useful, I’m fine with that. I have nothing better to do with my time.”
Lucas gave me a long look, tugged his lesson plan out from under my canvas shoes, and started talking about how humans depend on service workers to keep their lives running smoothly.
No one was listening. They were all still trying to figure out what was going on based on the way their gazes were bouncing between me, Lucas, Fenris, and Aubrey. Fenris didn’t look at anyone else but me. Despite all the emotions in the room, I could feel his need. If it were a living thing, it would have consumed him whole.
“Just a moment,” I said, interrupting Lucas.
He actually paused.
“Fenris,” I said, standing. “Would you like to sit in this chair?”
He bolted for the front of the room, grabbed me around the waist, and had us both seated in Lucas’s chair before I could yip in surprise. Fenris leaned into me and inhaled deeply, making my skin prickle and my face flush. Doing my best to ignore the way his arms held me so secure, I looked at Lucas.
“No coercion necessary. Please continue.”
Lucas sighed and resumed his lecture. I didn’t miss the way Aubrey furiously texted instead of paying attention.
Slowly, Fenris relaxed his hold. I doubted he heard anything Lucas said, not that it really mattered. When the bell rang, Aubrey stayed in her seat. I did likewise. The rest of the students were slow to leave, dying to be witnesses to the drama they knew was about to unfold. The room eventually did empty, though, and Aubrey strolled toward us.
“Manipulate him while you can. He’ll be mine soon enough.”
I rolled my eyes at her, and I could feel the surge of her annoyance before she left.
My phone buzzed, and Fenris reluctantly released me so I could stand and dig it out of my pocket. After I retrieved it, he tugged me back onto his lap.
Adira: Follow the rules or leave school if you’re not interested in learning.
No doubt, Aubrey had complained to Raiden who, in turn, had involved Adira. Did I care? There was still that small sliver of me that did, but the rest of me was done with being pushed and pulled in every direction but my own.
I lifted my gaze to Fenris’s.
“Are you ready to cause some trouble?” I asked.
He grinned at me.
“There’s my girl.”
Heart pounding, I sent two life-changing words back to Adira.
Me: Make me.
Fenris chuckled low in my ear.
“What now, cuddle bear?”
“Cuddle bear?”
“You look cuddly and are fun to touch, but one wrong move, and a person can get mauled.”
“Let’s not use that one again.” I glanced at Lucas, who was quietly reading his papers as if we weren’t still in his chair. “And for the record, I’ve already demonstrated my ability to coerce for Adira. If she believes I lack aptitude, let her know I’m willing to have another dinner with her.”
Lucas looked confused but nodded.
Fenris threaded his fingers through mine and tugged me toward the door. It wasn’t until I was in the hallway that I felt that thing inside of me settle back into place. I frowned, trying to figure out when it had stirred, what had made it stir, and if I’d used some kind of mind control on Lucas.
Mom was right. I needed to practice.
Taking the lead, I steered us toward the pools.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Fenris asked, pulling me from my thoughts. “I’m guessing you don’t want to play another round of musical chairs.”
“That would be a correct guess. How do you feel about going for a swim?”
“On purpose?”
“Only if it’s necessary.”
“Your vagueness is strangely appealing.”
My hunger stirred as his lust increased steadily. My vision sharpened, and I could see in the way my peers looked at me that my eyes had gone totally black. Instead of averting my gaze and watching my feet, I shot Fenris a dark look.
“If you can’t tone it down, go back to class.”
He groaned, and using our joined hands, spun me so I ended up in his arms.
“You’re not making it easy to stop,” he murmured, leaning in to nuzzle my neck. “Have I told you how much I love when your eyes do that?”
I fought the urge to inhale the lust flooding the air as a few students catcalled and laughed their way around us.
“Fenris, please stop.”
He sighed heavily and released me. His expression was far from apologetic. In fact, it seemed more resigned than anything.
“Right. No public displays of affection.”
Why d
id those words hurt me? Maybe it was less the words and more the underlying disappointment they conveyed. What did he expect me to do? Ravish him in the hallway like some wanton succubus?
Flushing, I turned away from him and continued to the pools. The humid air wrapped around me the minute I opened the door, and that was the only welcoming thing about the place. Mermaids hissed at me and immediately dove into the water. All except for River. She lifted herself out of the pool, shedding her fins for legs.
“After the shit you pulled last time you were in here, you have bigger balls than the mutt behind you for showing up again.”
“Mutt?” Fenris said, sounding hurt. “I thought we were friends.”
“We were until you started backing Bo Peep here.”
“A human reference? Very impressive, River. You were paying attention in class. Did you hear the one about Miss Muffet?”
While they bantered, I focused on that thing inside of me, like Mom had told me to do. However, that thing was more interested in the lust coming off of Fenris than the disagreeable mermaid crossing the tiled floor. I gave a frustrated sigh and shuffled a step back, hoping that leaning against Fenris would be enough of a compromise that it would pay attention to what I wanted it to do.
River grinned, likely thinking my move had been a fearful retreat, and Fenris’s arm wrapped around my waist. He nuzzled my neck from behind, sending a shiver of need racing down my back. My hunger spiked. That dark thing inside of me undulated, calling to Fenris. He groaned and brushed a kiss against the back of my head at the same time his hands moved to grip my hips.
A slow smile curled my lips, and I fell into the need to eat. The flavors of lemon cake and spice cake coated my tongue. I lifted my arms, intent on reaching behind me to run my fingers through this delicious wolf’s hair.
“Aw, look at this. Eliana actually knows how to feed.”
My hold on Fenris loosened. When he would have tried to keep me, I gave him the barest shake of my head as a warning. His reluctance to release me was the only thing that appeased my anger as my attention snapped to the mermaid. How dare she speak to me like I was some lowly being unworthy of her presence when she was the one unworthy of mine?
