“Hey,” Aleksander said and waited for Rafe to meet his gaze again. “We don’t need to even go there. I’m telling you, Sorcery D’Vaire is making plans. They want to help you, and I’m not going to let you die.”
Rafe startled Aleksander yet again when he nearly ran over his wolf in his haste to get out of the room. “I can’t do this,” he murmured. “I just can’t.”
With so much torment in his voice, Aleksander never considered stopping him. Unable to imagine what he’d endured to have so many scars, Aleksander had no idea what happened to Rafe. So, he wasn’t upset at his disappearing act nor was he mad at Rafe for anything else. His heart was broken for what Rafe had suffered, but he wasn’t going to allow him to leave his life again. The last thing he wanted to do was wait around until Fate reunited them, so he’d give Rafe the chance to think about things. But Rafe was about to find out that when Sorcery D’Vaire and its president put their minds to something, they didn’t let it go, and they sure as hell didn’t fail.
Pushing aside his feelings until he could talk to Rafe again, Aleksander slid open the pocket door that separated his office from Worth’s.
“Wow, I fully expected you both to have your ears pressed to the wood,” Aleksander told the two dukes who were sprawled on sofas.
“We have some dignity,” Worth retorted, getting to his feet.
“Plus, we couldn’t hear shit,” Brogan added. The pair followed Aleksander into his own space just as Mac strolled in with Roger planted on his shoulder.
“So, what’s going on?” Mac asked as they all got comfortable. It might be the weekend, but Aleksander rarely stopped working on one thing or another for D’Vaire, so he went back to his computer. Catching his friends up on what little he’d learned from Rafe, he vowed he’d spend some time with his mate later, even if it meant chasing him outside when he took his wolf out.
“Now all I have is more questions,” Worth lamented.
“Tell me about it,” Aleksander muttered.
“I wish we could help with his case. I wouldn’t mind crushing whoever hurt him,” Mac stated, his dark eyes hardened with fury.
“You’d have to get in line,” Brogan remarked with just as much anger on his face.
“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Aleksander asked when Mortis appeared in the doorway. The wolf jogged to Aleksander, and he greeted Mortis with pets and scratches behind his ears. In the doorway, the man connected to Mortis’s soul appeared. His curls were wet, and his hoodie and pajamas had been replaced by several layers of cotton tops, jeans, and a jacket.
“Uh…I don’t know how else to say this, but my laptop is missing,” Rafe said.
“It’s not missing. It’s on your desk,” Aleksander told him.
“No, it’s not. I put it there when I first got here, but it’s gone.”
Aleksander pointed to the device lying on the table next to him. “Silly, it’s right there on your desk. I talked to Chrys, and even though Worth put plenty of money in your account for you to buy whatever pleases you, I assume you still want to work. So I set you up in our office.”
“I thought I’d work in my bedroom.”
“Your bedroom is for sleeping and relaxing. Why don’t you roll in here and see if there’s enough room at this desk for it or if we need to get you a new one.”
Rafe tentatively rolled forward, and Aleksander stood to wheel the office chair out of the way, but his mate stopped him. “I can use that one.”
“You sure? I thought it would be easier in the wheelchair.”
“I use my walker too, so let’s go with this. Can you hold it in place?”
“Sure,” Aleksander replied and dutifully held on tightly as Rafe transferred from one seat to another. “You need me to push you in?”
“I got it,” Rafe said, pulling himself forward with his hands on the desk as soon as Aleksander released him.
“While we’re on the topic of money, which I must say is one of my favorite subjects,” Worth remarked. “We heard a rather nasty rumor—from His Majesty, no less—that someone in this house told you incorrect information regarding your account. Some nonsense that you had to come up with your own funds. Mind telling me who it is so I can straighten them out?”
“It doesn’t matter. I can work and earn my way. I don’t mind. I really didn’t want to take money from the sanctuary. Those funds are to help people.”
“Would you listen to this, my fellow dukes? We’ve got another High King with foolish notions. Are you not a people? Do you not need help?” Worth demanded.
Aleksander got back to his seat and glanced at Rafe. The former dragon had cracked a grin at Aleksander’s pesky brother. “I actually don’t think I am a people. I’m just a singular person. What you should be asking is why the High King invaded my privacy and stole my laptop right off my desk. I’d think you’d want to crack down on crime in a sanctuary.”
“I was in there to get Mortis. I know he’s resurrected and can’t starve to death, but nothing is going to save him from peeing on the floor, which is why I wanted to coax him outside. I’d already talked to Chrys and knew your laptop needed to be moved, so excuse me if I did something to make your life a little easier.”
Rafe’s expression was a cross between amusement and consternation. “You went in there while I was sleeping. That’s creepy.”
“I didn’t see anything weird. You sleep curled up like a burrito in your covers.”
“I get cold easy.”
Worth got up with a loud sigh. “I’m off to raise the temperature in His Highness’s room since otherwise he’ll settle for freezing.”
“I don’t know if I can get used to being called ‘His Highness,’ ” Rafe muttered as Worth sauntered out.
“Get used to it, Worth does it to me constantly just to be annoying.”
“I don’t remember him doing that when I visited.”
“That’s because I wasn’t spending time in here much, but trust me, you would’ve heard it eventually.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get that chance,” Rafe murmured, and Aleksander said nothing in response. Rafe needed the opportunity to settle into the idea of being together as well as getting some measure of relief from Sorcery D’Vaire. While Aleksander didn’t know the extent of what he’d been through, it was likely going to take a while for Rafe to adapt to seeing some level of positivity in the situation. One thing Aleksander could always count on was his patience, and he would use it, but there was a limit to the time Rafe had, so his mate was going to have to come to terms with their lives sooner rather than later.
Chapter 35
Rafe hadn’t slept well. That wasn’t anything new. Insomnia was an old friend, and thanks to his experience in the mine, he was terrified of the dark, being trapped anywhere, and small spaces. At night when his mind was free to do whatever it wanted, it took him back to the horrors of the five months he was at the mercy of his relatives. The night terror had happened within sixty minutes of sliding into slumber, and it had taken him hours afterward to drift off again. Rafe was simply grateful he hadn’t screamed loud enough for anyone to hear, and while he could’ve taken one of his heavy-duty pills, he hated the grogginess that came with them.
Trying not to focus on how tired he was, Rafe carefully logged the first records into his database. It had taken him a few days to learn what he needed, and thankfully the Office of the Emperor had gone with a simple format, otherwise Rafe would probably be totally lost. It had been nearly a week since he learned of his new job, and it had been a strange seven days. No matter how late he wandered into the kitchen at mealtimes, Aleksander was waiting and so were his usual tablemates. They insisted on keeping Rafe company, and he wasn’t alone when at his desk either.
All Rafe could do was try to keep quiet and keep his nose out of D’Vaire business, but no one was making it easy on him. There was no choice but to continue to separate himself. While Aleksander and Sorcery D’Vaire might have grandiose plans about what they could accomplish, Rafe wo
uld not allow his mind to even go there. It wasn’t that he doubted their abilities or their determination—he had simply lost hope. Of everything he’d endured, it was the most painful thing stripped from him, and Rafe was incapable of putting himself through that again.
The reality was that he would die, and it was only now that Rafe was at D’Vaire that he fully comprehended what a selfish dick he’d been by applying to their sanctuary. While he’d known it would hurt him, he’d never considered that Aleksander would latch on to a fantastical idea that somehow things would be okay. It was going to hurt Aleksander when he passed, and Rafe was sorry he would be responsible for his mate’s grief.
Aleksander hadn’t pressed, though. There were no more questions asked or hints about a future, so perhaps he was coming to terms with the situation. Rafe wanted that because he believed it would be easier on Aleksander if he dealt with his emotions before his pyre was lit.
“Pee.”
When Mortis’s voice went through Rafe’s head, he welcomed the distraction. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?” Aleksander asked.
“I need to take Mortis out.”
Aleksander got to his feet. “I’ll go out with you.”
“Yay! Aleksander play!”
“You’re a traitor,” Rafe told Mortis, grabbing his walker and standing.
“Aleksander nice.”
“I know that.”
“You know what?” Aleksander asked, crossing the office slowly to give Rafe the chance to catch up.
“Mortis thinks you’re nice.”
Leaning toward the wolf, Aleksander ruffled Mortis’s fur and scratched behind his ears. “Mortis is nice too, but how do you know what he’s thinking?”
Rafe concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other while he lamented his need to always appear stronger than he was. Too damn tired to be walking, his ass should be in his wheelchair. Without answering Aleksander, Rafe made it out onto the deck. Mortis ran out, and Aleksander shut the back door while Rafe painfully lowered himself to a chaise.
“Aleksander throw.”
“Mortis wants you to play catch with him. Do you mind? I’m kind of tired.”
“I will if you’ll tell me how you know he wants me to do it.”
“Oh, sorry. He can communicate telepathically.”
“Like a pair of mated sentinels. That’s awesome,” Aleksander said. Strolling down the stairs, he threw the ball, which made the wolf ecstatic.
“I hope mated sentinels say more exciting things than ‘pee’ and ‘throw.’ ”
Aleksander laughed as he tossed the toy again. “I imagine Mortis’s wants and needs are simpler than ours.”
“He’s definitely instinctual like I imagine a dragon is.”
“I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing that I can’t hear mine.”
The corner of Rafe’s mouth lifted. “I don’t even have one anymore.”
“How did you survive? We’ve been taught for thousands of years that it’s impossible.”
There was no way Rafe could confess that the one thing that had allowed him to make it through all he’d suffered was the man playing fetch with his wolf. “I’m not sure.”
“Lie.”
“That scowl tells me that you’re not being honest.”
“You think you know my facial expressions?”
“Yep.”
“What if I wasn’t scowling at you?”
Aleksander’s expression was skeptical. “What, you got an issue with your wolf while he’s enjoying himself?”
“He’s not always as nice as you think.”
“Lie.”
“That is not a lie, Mortis. That statement is subjective, so there’s no way for a sentinel to declare it an untruth.”
“Still say lie.”
“Wow, I know what abilities sentinels have, but I never thought about what it must be like to have a walking lie detector test with you wherever you go.”
“He seems to know more about when I lie than other people.”
“And statements can be made that are technically true but might have variable or nuances lost on the abilities of a sentinel or fallen knight.”
“Aleksander smart.”
“You know, I don’t know why I’m even out here. If you want to spend all your time with Aleksander, be my guest.”
“Love Rafe,” Mortis said. Running over, he licked his face, making Rafe feel like an idiot for actually growing jealous of his wolf’s regard for Aleksander.
“Sorry, I love you too, Mortis.”
“Tell Aleksander throw.”
“He wants you to throw the ball again.”
“I’m not trying to steal your wolf,” Aleksander said, chucking the toy across the yard.
“Be careful getting too attached. He’s going to live with the Darays when I die.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to have that discussion again, but you aren’t going to die.”
“I don’t remember you being so hardheaded.”
“Bullshit. We talked all day. You know me.”
Rafe shifted on the chaise as his conscience pelted him. “You know, I love it here, but I’m sorry I came back. It probably wasn’t fair of me to do this to you.”
“You should’ve called me sooner.”
“I told you that I wanted to, but there wasn’t any point when we have no future.”
“I missed you, Rafe.”
“I don’t know if it helps or hurts for me to tell you that I missed you too.”
When Mortis tired of running, he and Aleksander returned to the deck. His Highness arranged his long frame on the chaise next to Rafe while Mortis rolled around on the wooden planks. It was unnerving to have those dark, beautiful eyes studying him intently, so Rafe’s attention went to his combat boots.
“Why would that hurt me?” Aleksander asked.
“Because you have unrealistic expectations.”
“I’m going to choose to ignore that statement. How’s your new job working out?”
“I guess, good. I mean, I’m mostly sure I know what I’m doing.”
“You still aren’t going to tell me who told you that you needed money, are you?”
“Nope, it was probably a misunderstanding, and I’m not a tattletale.”
“It’s been several days since the press release went out announcing our matebond. Have Drystan and Conley managed to get anything to work with on your case?”
Rafe shook his head. Although the Reverent Knights had gone to interview his family yet again, they expressed delight at the news that Rafe was a High King while lamenting that he’d cut them out of his life. As if he’d simply walked out of their house one day and hadn’t looked back, which was how Rafe wished the story had gone instead of the tragedy he was living instead. “Unfortunately, no.”
“And you aren’t going to tell me who hurt you either, are you?”
“I told you, there’s no need.”
“My desire to kill him, her, or them hasn’t lessened.”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “You have an entire house full of people counting on you. There’s zero reason for you to jeopardize that. The Reverent Knights will figure this out.”
“Will you tell me why you freaked out at breakfast the other morning?”
“You mean when I found out that you gave me your title?”
“It’s our title, not mine, but yes. What happened?”
“You keep putting me in a position where I have to say no to you,” Rafe accused.
“It wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable.”
“I know, you’re too nice to do that.”
“Aleksander nice,” Mortis said, laying his head on the chaise so Rafe could pet him.
“Isn’t that what I just told him?”
“Tell him I say.”
“Fuck’s sake. Sander, Mortis thinks you’re nice.”
Aleksander wiggled his fingers, and the wolf traitor trotted over to get love from Rafe’s lost mate.
“You’re nice too, Mortis.”
“Rafe jealous again.”
“Shut up, I’m not jealous of this weird-ass relationship you have with Sander.”
“Really, because it kinda sounds like you are,” Aleksander responded with a chuckle.
“I’d get up and walk away, but that requires more effort than I want to exert at the moment.”
“Are you pushing yourself too hard?”
“If I didn’t, I’d still be lying in a hospital bed in Nashville being told I’ll never walk again. I had two choices. I could either accept that it wasn’t worth trying, or I could prove that doctor wrong.”
“You’ve always struck me as a fighter.”
Rafe eased his head back against the chair and laughed. “I think it’s a new ‘me’ trait.”
“One thing you’ve done since the moment I met you is sell yourself short when it comes to attributes.”
“What in the world about me convinced you to befriend me? Was it just the whole Fate thing?”
“That certainly started it, but you know we got along very well. Let’s not pretend different now, okay?”
“I know that, Sander. I’m not arguing that. I’ve just always wondered how you could look at me then, and even more so now, and think that you’d want to have any sort of relationship with me.”
“Stop making it sound like you’re a giant pile of shit or something equally detestable. You think I give a fuck that you have scars? What? What exactly is it that you think is so offensive?”
“Dammit, look at me. I’m a fucking mess. All you see is the scars on my face and hands. I’m covered in them.”
“I think our society is warped. That’s what I’m learning. That because we have beasts who heal and magic wells that do the same, we think anything that isn’t ‘perfection’ isn’t beautiful. What you are covered in are badges of courage, Rafe. I see them, and I hurt for you because I know whatever happened it wasn’t pretty, but that’s not what I focus on. I see your face and in your eyes are your feelings and thoughts. Because we’re friends…nearly a year of separation hasn’t done a damn thing to change that.”
Heart of the High King (D'Vaire, Book 19) Page 25
