“Check the stuff in your bag for your game this afternoon then you can go play in the back room for a little bit.”
“Okay!”
There were a few more back and forths determining what TV he could watch and what games of Ronan’s he was allowed to play. But he'd been to Uncle Ronan's house enough times that at least Ronan wasn't worried. Siorse had loved their nephew and babysat often, even after Paddy had been born.
With Sean gone to the other room, Ronan reached out to snag Sean's plate and eat what the kid had left behind. It was their usual M.O. on the days his sister-in-law showed up.
But then an odd stillness settled over the table, and he looked up at Tierney as she set her fork down and leaned forward, a solemn look on her face. “Do cats usually gut their victims?”
“I don't know.” He wasn't really a fan of cats. He continued to slowly but surely devour the food, though he wished she hadn't brought up that topic while he was eating.
Then, after a moment of continued silence, he looked up. She was worried. He’d known her too long for her to hide it from him. Something was eating at her. The rat? “Tierney, what is it?”
Even as he asked, he realized it was stupid. He wasn’t in any shape to do anything even if she told him.
“It's nothing.” But she looked down at her plate and the words came out clipped and far too fast for him to buy her answer.
It obviously wasn’t nothing.
CHAPTER FIVE
Did he know? Tierney wondered as she stirred the soup in the crock pot and checked the temperature. She was slow heating one of the dishes brought by some woman who wanted to snag the single firefighter.
She didn’t have Sean with her today, having come by after she’d dropped him off at school. These breakfasts without her child were sometimes quiet, sometimes full of passionate debates, and sometimes—like today—simple small talk.
She wondered if Ronan even had a clue that she'd had a crush on him from the day she'd arrived in town. Unfortunately, so had Siorse. Both girls were redheads, which had absolutely helped push the sister narrative—probably what had saved Tierney's life.
But where Siorse was willowy and tall, blue eyed and striking, Tierney was shorter. None of the rest of it mattered because she'd arrived in town pregnant. She was already starting to show by fall break. There was absolutely no way she would have caught the eye of a senior like Ronan Kelly. She’d put it aside then and wondered why the hell her feelings were flaring up again ten years later.
The fact was, they’d waxed and waned, but never left. And his accident—almost losing him—had to be the root cause of this latest need for a man she would never have. Could never have. She knew better.
So, she showed up and cared for him and had the only relationship she could with him. It had been another week. While he was nowhere near ready for work, Ronan was at least a lot more mobile now. She needed to stop coming over so much. She'd carried this crush for way too long. And even though Siorse was gone, and even though Tierney had her questions about what Siorse had been up to the night she died, nothing was ever going to happen for her. And that was probably why she'd nursed this crush on Ronan for so long.
In a way, it was safe. She could feel these things and not have to act on them.
But it wasn’t just Ronan. She couldn’t have anyone. Until certain key parts of her old life were dead, she couldn’t afford a relationship. Anyone who loved her would be lied to.
Tierney was always grateful though that she had Sean. That she and Sean had a very solid life that would not have been possible without the Doyles. Sean would be ten next year, something she’d thought she’d not live to see, not safely at least.
“What's wrong, Tee?” Ronan asked.
She hadn't even seen him come into the kitchen, let alone make his way over to the lovely granite island and lean on it.
Tierney jerked, splashing a little bit of the soup from the ladle onto the countertop, where she quickly wiped it away. It was clear he wasn't taking her pat answer.
If that hadn’t been clear, he put it into words. “I've known you since the first day you arrived in town. I know when you're nervous and when you're upset. I can tell, right now, something's got you worried.”
“Yeah, I’m worried,” she confessed. Then she evaded. “You're not supposed to be walking around so much.”
“I'm fine and that’s not it. Don’t lie to me.”
Tierney looked into those gorgeous blue eyes. The dark hair that had grown too long with him not getting it cut while he was recovering. The irony was that she had lied to him the entire time she’d known him.
He was smart, wily, and usually good on his feet. Then again, Siorse had fooled him for years and he still hadn't caught on to that. So maybe Tierney stood a chance with yet another lie. “You're antsy to get back to work. Now you're trying to find a problem so that you have something to do.”
Putting the lid back on the crock pot, she turned away, hoping that if he couldn't see her face he couldn't or wouldn't push further. But she should have known better.
The man was persistent. It was a trait she'd admired in the past. He’d persisted in being a good friend to her, even though she and her sister had never had the best relationship. Honestly, Tierney couldn't fault Siorse for that.
She'd been shoved on her older sister, just before her senior year of high school in the middle of a family move that was probably occurring at the worst possible time for her. It had been Ronan who made sure that Tierney was watched out for. It had been Ronan that she'd called when she went into labor, petrified at age seventeen and more alone than he could ever know. And he was still here.
His hand touched her shoulder, turning her around. Once again, the touch startled her. Damn, the man was stealthy. Tierney knew better than to pull her shoulder away. Resisting only proved his point, and she liked the feel of his hands on her, however she could get them.
He wasn't going to let this go. “Something's been bothering you.”
“It's nothing. I'm a single mom with a bar job and a nine-year-old.” All of that was true. She realized, of course, as soon as the words were out of her mouth, that it made Ronan sound like an additional burden on an already burdened life.
“Well, you've been doing a lot here for me.”
“That’s not it.” She waved him away, wishing that she hadn't created the problem herself and wanting him to know that she was more than happy to do this. “We're family. You’ve stepped up for me far more times than necessary. This is the least I can do.”
She said the words with a kind look and a gentle smile she was confident he didn't quite believe. When Siorse had died, his ties to the Doyles had diminished as well but Tierney hadn't let him fade away from her life.
He was Uncle Ronan to her son, and he was her hero and protector, whether or not he knew it. But right now he was staring her down and demanding answers. So, she fed him partial truths. “I think someone hacked my email and Sean hasn't seen Mr. Kittens in about three days.”
“You're not worried about Mr. Kittens.” Ronan had always thought the name was stupid. But Sean had been relatively small when the stray first began coming to their home and Tierney had thought it was cute that he wanted to name and feed the cat. To this day, her son refused to admit that Mr. Kittens might actually not be a Mister.
“When Mr. Kittens is about to have kittens of his own—”
“Ohhh,” Ronan said, looking away. Clearly, feral kittens were not his thing.
That was ridiculous for a firefighter. Didn’t he have to look all hunky rescuing them from trees? “At least we know Mr. Kittens is alive and well, because he-she left me another dead rat this morning.”
She shrugged as she told him, as if to say, you can see why I'm a little uptight. But the problem had not been that Mr. Kittens had left a dead rat. This was the third one she’d found right on her front step. The problem was she was beginning to suspect that none of the rats had actually been left by Mr. Kitt
ens.
CHAPTER SIX
Tierney sat at the small dining room table, her eyes scanning the street through the large front window. The window had been one of the selling points on this rental. She liked being able to see the yard, to watch Sean and his friends when they played outside.
It was too cold for that now, but she had her eyes out for the bus. It would be by soon after dropping the kids at the corner. Just a minute or so after that she would see Sean walking into her field of view.
Tierney was grateful for the bus and that it came so close to the house—another point in this rental’s favor. It was too cold to walk too far these days, especially for a little kid.
Flipping open her laptop, she looked again. No bus. Checking her email and weeding out the spam should be something easy she could do while she waited. She didn’t have the energy for much more.
She'd already put in a shift at the bar hauling in the deliveries, prepping burgers, chilling the beer, and then she'd waited tables for the lunch crowd. Luckily, she’d pulled a good set of tips today and she hadn’t had to go to Ronan’s this week. He was getting around better.
That didn’t make her day job any easier though. Mom and Dad Doyle insisted every worker be able work every station possible. At first, Tierney had thought it was ridiculous. But later, as people called in sick or left the job, she'd seen it was a sound business plan.
It didn’t change the fact that she’d covered a missing prep shift and was one shy on servers today. She’d run the place until her dad showed up at one. She was beyond exhausted. She'd worked almost without any break at all from the moment the bus had picked Sean up this morning until five minutes ago when she'd been grateful to beat him home.
He had a key, but she hated when he had to use it. So, she’d rushed back and just made it. But where was the bus?
A moment later, she’d checked the time and decided the bus was running late. The old laptop shuffled through several screens, finally bringing up her email and the pink sunset theme that she’d chosen. The colors would have soothed her had her heart and fingers not frozen at the sight.
Not another one.
She’d dismissed the first one as a random error, an email simply sent to the wrong person. Even though her email was a very basic Tierney.Doyle, she’d had things mixed up in the past. She’d gotten emails for Linda and McKayla and even Bob Pastor. Once, she’d been invited to someone's Napa Valley college reunion train ride and wine tasting tour.
So, when the first email showed up from a random T-shirt shop and said “Hello, Emily,” her heart had tripped. But she told herself it was just an error. It had to be. Lots of people were named Emily. It meant nothing.
But this new one was from an underwear company thanking her for subscribing. She’d been about to hit the delete button when she saw the greeting. “Hi Emmie, Thank you for joining us!”
The overly cute name froze her blood in her veins.
She began to hyperventilate. Emmie. It said Emmie.
It didn't have to mean anything though.
It was mis-sent. She looked out the window again and tried to calm herself down, taking deep breaths. They should have been breaths, they were heavy gulps. Her eyes blinked as the bus pulled by in front of the house, yellow and black blurring in front of her vision.
Sean would be here any minute!
Should she hit delete?
She frantically scrambled to unsubscribe, but the screen took forever to load, so she smacked the delete button and pushed the laptop closed, as if the screen being out of her view could make the threat go away.
But was it a threat?
Did she need to pack everything and leave?
She'd had a good run. Maybe ten years was the limit. She'd gotten complacent, thinking she was safe—thinking she was safer the longer she lasted. Maybe the opposite was true, maybe he’d just needed time and hers had just run out.
She should pack everything and go. The Doyles would figure it out. She almost cried then—they would lose another daughter when they’d already lost the first so suddenly and harshly. They’d lose their only grandchild. What would it do to Sean?
And where was he???
Had something happened already?
But it wasn't Sean walking with his cold hands stuffed into his pockets because he'd forgotten or lost his gloves again. What came into her view was a car. Low, sleek, and sporty, it made her heart kick again. Where was her son?
The windows on the car were tinted; it was hard to see who was inside. But Tierney jumped to her feet and ran to the couch, bracing her hands on the window as she leaned forward, peering down the street for her son. The street was empty.
She'd suffered this level of worry several times before in her life. Once when Sean was small and she and Mom Doyle had rushed him to the ER. And before the Doyles, when she’d fled the first time.
Tierney stared at the car as if she could will the person to get out. She was petrified they had Sean. She hoped it wasn’t him.
But no one got out of the car.
Why wasn't anyone getting out of the car?
Was he sitting there staring at her? Should she back away? Had she already screwed up everything, letting him know that she was afraid?
And she was afraid.
But, as she stepped back and failed to forcibly calm her racing heart and pounding nerves, she saw the passenger door open and out stepped Sean.
Her heart slowed even as the anger surged. Who the hell had he caught a ride with? He knew better! But she told herself he was upright, he was fine, and his breaking the rules hadn’t cost them anything. Today.
She started to take a deep breath, the first one in which she could really relax. Then, the driver's side door opened, and Tierney braced herself. She watched as a man she'd not expected to see stepped out of the car.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ronan climbed from the low slung car, his good mood solidifying in his chest as Tierney raced down her front steps and whacked him on the arm.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
“What?” Man, she’d gotten him right on one of his last fading bruises from the accident. “What did I do?”
“You showed up on my doorstep with my child in a strange car. And you didn’t warn me!”
Oh, that part hadn't occurred to him. “I'm sorry.”
What more could he say? He could explain, and he was sorry. But whatever damage Tierney had suffered to her nerves, it was fading. Sean was fine—the kid loved the new car.
“Mom drove me to the doctor this morning and I got cleared to drive.”
“That's good.” Tierney was looking away. Obviously, she still hadn't fully come down from whatever crazy high his driving her child in a strange car had elicited.
“My car was totaled. So, I got a new one.”
“It's so cool!” Sean ran up and tugged on her shirt. The move hit Ronan square in the chest like many things did. He’d not get to see his own child get big enough to tell him about cars and video games, but now wasn’t the time for melancholy.
He looked Tierney over as she crossed her arms against the cold.
She wasn't dressed well enough to be out here, but she was still looking at him again like he was a little crazy. She was still breathing a little too quickly.
He told himself her nerves should have faded faster. How much had he upset her? Was it really that big of a deal?
“It's got bucket seats!” Sean was still going on. “And inside the car, the speakers have lights that blink with the music.”
“That sounds distracting.” Tierney was now looking everywhere but at Sean or Ronan. Her eyes darted around behind him and over to the other side. What was she looking for?
Seeming to realize what she was doing, she met Ronan's gaze finally. “And cool,” she added. “It sounds cool.”
“You know me. I don't do distracted driving.” He'd helped cut too many people out of totaled cars to text or even call people while he was driving. Blinking
speaker lights would not pull his attention from the street.
Hell, he was barely-walking proof that you could drive completely undistracted and still wind up nearly dead.
The three of them stood on the front lawn, staring at each other for a moment. Tierney's distress dampened the mood. She tried not to look like she was scanning the street, but she was still doing it. And though their feet were planted in dry, frosty grass, she didn't have a coat on.
That wasn't like her. She was such a mom, the idea that she would stand out here in just her shirtsleeves seemed odd. She was only half following the conversation, while Sean still babbled at her about all the cool features of Ronan's new car.
“I came to say thank you.” Ronan tried again to catch her attention but failed.
She uncrossed her arms for a moment to wave one hand at him as if to brush the thanks away.
“No, really, you went above and beyond. And I wanted to take you two out to dinner.” As if one dinner out would make up for all the times she'd shown up at his home. That she'd gotten her kid out the door before school and made breakfast for the three of them at his house. He had company, and a doublecheck that he hadn’t injured himself overnight. He got hot food each morning, and something in the crock pot to feed himself until his mother checked in later.
With a nine-year-old in tow, it was a lot. And she’d simply made a habit out of it, until the doctor cleared him down to his mother just peppering him with text checkins all day.
He knew Tierney had adjusted to his early mornings. He was just an early riser—firefighters often were—and she knew he’d be up and wasn’t supposed to be walking around on his own. He knew she'd showed up more than once before seven a.m. after having worked into the wee hours at the bar the night before. She'd never complained and never asked for anything.
“Come on.” He tried again to grab her attention.
Sean helped. “He'll take us to Delmonico's!”
It was Tierney's favorite place just on the Redemption side of Lincoln. He also knew she couldn't afford it. He couldn't really either right now, but it seemed the least he could do. Because when the chips were down, it ultimately wasn't about what was in his bank account, but who was willing to show up at 6am repeatedly to make him eggs.
Down in Flames (Wildfire Hearts Book 5) Page 3
