“I think it wasn’t Mr. Kittens,” Tierney answered, her grip too tight and her nerves stretched too far.
“Like a warning?”
“I think so.” She took a deep breath and told him. “And more. Someone emailed me under my real name.”
“What do you mean your real name?” Sean was looking at her now, more with curiosity than fear. That was the only thing keeping her sane.
It was time to come clean. “The email used the name I used to go by before I had you. So, I'm taking you to go live with my friend Raven until it's safe again. Safe for you to come back.”
At least, that was Tierney's dream. Raven could take Sean forever if she needed to. That had always been the agreement.
“How long will I be there?”
“I hope not more than a couple of weeks. But it might be several months. And I need you to know that your name is John now.”
“John?”
“It's your real name.” Tierney saw a sign and switched to a smaller state road. The vice around her heart ratcheted down. This was real. But so was his birth certificate: legally he was John Seamus. She'd always called him Sean, just in case this ever happened. John was a close enough name that he should learn to answer to it very quickly.
She hated this with all her heart. She was tempted to take a different turn and just disappear. She had the paperwork to become someone else. She could find someone to forge documents … and she could stay with Sean. But how long before she was found again? How long could she live always looking over her shoulder?
She had to tell Sean so much and there were even more things she couldn't tell him. Some because he wouldn't understand. Despite his anxious acceptance of getting torn out of his life, he was still just a kid. Some of it she couldn’t tell him because it would make him a target. Because he might inadvertently turn around and make the Doyles a target if he knew and said certain things.
Lights shone heavy in her rearview. The state road wasn’t well lit and was now just one lane each way. Was the car behind her trying to blind her? Shit shit shit.
Had she made it this far and been so stupid she’d led them almost to Raven? If anyone had followed them this far, they’d done it perfectly invisibly. Using her blinker like a sane person, she turned off at the next small exit and made a loop in the gas station there. The car with the brights on passed above her on the road and went on its way.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
It was her only hope that she'd gotten away with this. For Sean’s sake, she had to.
Before she knew it, Tierney was pulling into the back parking lot of a restaurant that had closed hours ago. This was where they decided to meet, so even Tierney wouldn't know where Raven lived, where Sean now lived. That way no one could get the information out of her. The deal had always been to pick a meeting point, but have no idea which direction the other had come from. Tierney turned off the engine, making the moment real in a way it hadn’t been before.
Another car was sitting in the lot, dark paint concealing it in the shadows.
Holding her breath, Tierney put her hand out and stopped Sean from moving. When the car door opened and Raven stepped out, Tierney breathed again. Then she took in the long camel colored coat that shielded her from the wind. Raven’s hair was in thin braids, long and down her back, a touch of color reminded her of the young, about to be single mom in the hospital bed next to her all those years ago.
Tears leaked out of Tierney’s eyes as she opened the door and threw herself into her friend’s arms. “Thank you! Thank you!”
Taller and willowy and not under her own threat, Raven returned the fierce hug. “I’ve got you baby girl. And don’t thank me. This was always a mutual deal. We’ve got this.”
Raven’s car and her clothing spoke of how she’d elevated herself since they’d last talked. Raven seemed to notice. “I’m married, we have three kids now. He adopted Jacob. Sean will be safe with us. He’ll be John with us.”
Tierney had thought being sixteen and pregnant was difficult. She thought escaping the first time was difficult. But at 2:13 on a Saturday morning, she handed over her child to a woman she trusted with all of her heart.
Then Tierney drove away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ronan sat in his car, wishing for the first time he'd bought a minivan or anything bigger than this little sport car. It was not designed for PI work.
He rubbed his hands together still inside his gloves as though that might work. Looking up the street and then down, he waited through a beat of cold clear silence then started the engine again. He was blessedly relieved as the heat slowly seeped through his clothing and into his feet. It was difficult to be stealthy in the middle of the night in a Nebraska winter. He was simply grateful the snow wasn't piling up as it fell gently all around him.
Still it made his worries much clearer.
The snow was part of what concerned him. Hell, everything concerned him. He’d driven by around nine that night to convince Tierney to get out of the house. There were too many dead rats for his comfort, and she was as twitchy as an addict needing a fix. He'd figured he'd invite her and Sean to stay with him.
There was something about the idea that settled warm and inviting in the pit of his gut. He ignored that part and reminded himself that she was family. Despite the fact that he’d distanced himself from the Doyles after Siorse’s death, they'd always been good to him. They'd grieved as hard as he had and yet they'd managed not to drink themselves into a stupor or alienate everyone they should have stayed in touch with. He would be forever grateful.
He told himself that was why he showed up at Tierney's with the intent to invite her and her child to come live with him—at least temporarily.
She wasn’t here.
Thinking little of it and reminding himself that it was absolutely fine that she had a life, Ronan hadn’t even gotten out of the car. He’d simply circled the block and headed back home. Still, the whole drive back, he thought through every possible reason she wasn’t there, or more accurately he overthought it.
Hadn't she said she was picking Sean up at a friend’s? Maybe they'd gone out to dinner, but would she really have her nine-year-old out to dinner past nine p.m.? Maybe they’d gone to a movie, or … Or …
All the “or”s helped calm him down. Telling himself everything was fine, he'd swung back by at eleven. But she still hadn't been here. Her car was gone, too.
This time, he'd gone up and knocked on the door. Maybe they’d been out and the car had broken down. They would have gotten a tow and a ride home. She hadn't called him, but he reminded himself that she’d spent the last month helping him. She wouldn't necessarily look at him as her help. He needed to change that.
Again, he told himself a lie that made it more palatable. He owed her. She'd helped him and he was returning the favor. He didn’t try to consider that it wasn’t working, and that he’d come back again and again, pulled by some invisible need to take care of her.
He had no job right now. It would be two more weeks before his next check-up and his first possible chance to be back on duty. He could at least be useful. She hadn't answered the door though. And this time—though he’d reluctantly driven himself back home—he'd been more worried.
So worried, in fact, that he’d turned around and come back in an hour.
If anyone was watching him, they'd know he was a bona fide nutcase, driving back and forth the short distance, checking on the same house each time then leaving.
By then, the snow had begun falling. The driveway showed no evidence of tire tracks, letting him know she hadn't been here at all. This time, he’d not gone back. Now he was sitting and waiting. Maybe he’d find her. Maybe he’d find whoever was leaving the dead rats and he could bring this nonsense to an end.
That thought alone compelled him to stay where he was, even though it wasn’t a bright decision.
He hadn't been smart. If he’d prepared for this, he would have a thermos of coffee and a
blanket. He dressed warmly enough, he thought, but now he was barely keeping from freezing as he sat here with his eyes on her front door.
One of his concerns was that he wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on Tierney. The rats were evidence enough. So he’d parked several houses down under an overhanging tree. Turning off all the running lights, he hoped he wouldn’t be seen, but there was nothing he could do about the engine running except freeze to death, and that would serve no one.
Now, the time hung close to five a.m. He looked up into the dark sky. Whatever the answers were, they couldn’t be good. Should he call the police? And tell them what? That he was her second stalker?
Movement caught his eye and his gaze snapped to a house about five down from hers. The soft light made the man easy to see against the pitch black night. Between the clouds dropping soft flakes around him and the disturbingly late sunrise of winter down the street, movement was easy to spot.
Ronan watched as the man stepped out his front door. He reached over and flipped on the porch light, illuminating his tracks in the snow as he headed to the car. Peeling the thermal blanket from the engine, he ducked into the driver’s seat, started the car and stomped his way back inside. A few moments later, the man retraced his steps, got into the car, and probably headed to some early job, maybe into Lincoln.
Rubbing his hands together again, Ronan stomped his feet as best he could under the low dash. This car was not made for stealth or comfort. He sighed and considered turning the car off again now that people were out and maybe looking, but the cold was getting to him.
After sitting for a few more minutes, and watching the time tick over, he put the car into drive and pulled away. It was 5:07. The drive thru at the nearest fast food would be open and he could get a hot coffee. He needed it.
A short while later he was back. On the short drive, he’d drunk half the coffee and eaten one of the breakfast sandwiches. As he pulled back into the same spot—if only to cover the empty space he’d left in the snow—Ronan reached into the bag to grab the second one.
As his cold fingers closed around the hot food, he saw her car pull into her driveway.
Stunned, he watched as Tierney climbed out.
The clock on his dash read 5:27am.
Where had she been all night? What was she even doing?
She headed to the front door, but then turned around, obviously changing her mind. At the side of the house, he watched as she pulled something out of the bushes, but it made more sense when she opened it up and tossed the thermal blanket over the hood of the car. This time when she hit the front door, she jammed the key angrily into the lock and opened it.
Ronan was starting to open his own door before he even realized he was following her.
Tierney was here. She was awake. But where was Sean?
Ronan pulled his own car door shut against the snow and jammed the car into drive. He slid into her driveway in his normal spot right behind her car. He meant to block her in. He needed answers.
He was up the front steps, his hand on the knob, twisting before he realized that he was angrily forcing his way into someone else's home. The knob was locked and, from the rattle the door gave, she'd slid the bolt, too. He didn't know if she normally did that. Why didn't he know that?
Instead, he knocked and called out a little too angrily, “Tierney!”
Only then did he realize her neighbors on either side might not be awake yet, and him causing a scene probably wasn't what she needed. He was pulling out his phone to call her to tell her to come open the door when she did.
There'd been no dead rat on the doorstep this time.
He was opening his mouth to … what? Yell at her? But he saw Tierney's eyes flick to something over his shoulder. She grabbed his coat and yanked him inside. He was still stumbling to get his feet under him as she slammed the door shut behind her. She cranked the locks with a harsh move and threw both the bolts before turning back to face him.
She stood arms down at her side, feet shoulder width apart, but there was nothing casual or relaxed about her stance. “What are you doing here?”
He asked the opposite question. “Where were you all night?”
“Why were you watching me?”
That one, at least he had an answer for. “I told you I didn't think it was safe to stay here. So when you wouldn't come stay with me, I came to check on you.”
“All night long?”
He wanted to answer “Obviously!” but it seemed a little too stalkerish right now.
“Where’s Sean?” He changed the subject, his eyes darting toward the back of the house, wondering if Sean had been here, asleep in his room the whole time.
He didn't think Tierney was that kind of mother, but her next words shocked him.
“He's somewhere safe. Somewhere you'll never find him.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Tierney sniffled. She had to look like shit. She needed a tissue or twelve.
She’d cried most of the three hour drive back. Covering the distance without stopping had been the only thing keeping her half sane, though it had been tempting to lay over at the motel she'd already rented. If she stopped, she could catch some sleep. But Tierney knew she would never sleep in a strange place, with Sean now gone. She still needed to get up and be at the bar at eleven.
It wasn't safe for her to not show up, for her to step out of routine. Maybe it was safer to disappear herself. But there was “safer for Sean,” “safer for her,” and “safer for everyone around them.” All three were radically different choices, and she couldn’t make it all happen at the same time. That’s what had her worried.
If she disappeared, what would happen to mom and dad Doyle? What would happen to Ronan? Ronan, who was standing there, looking at her like she was the worst mother ever. Like she was a liar and a thief. When the fact was, she was only one of them.
“I have to get to sleep. I have to be at work at eleven.”
“What?” Ronan was clearly confused, and she wasn’t helping. But he asked, “You put Sean where I'll never find him?”
Tierney shook her head. “I meant that he's somewhere safe. No one will find him.”
She was struggling to stay awake, to stay sane, to be so near to this man and not fall into his arms and tell him everything. But then he’d be at risk, too. She needed to get rid of him, and fast.
Ronan was looking beyond her, toward the back of the house, then into the living room. He saw the laptop she'd left on the table in the scramble to get her child somewhere where he couldn't be touched.
Leaving it out had been stupid. Then again, there were no good choices right now. When he looked back at her, the concern on his face had doubled down.
“There’s more to this than just the dead rat, isn't there?”
She couldn't help it. She snorted at him. His underestimation of the situation was hysterical. If only he knew. “Of course, there is. I'm not going batshit about a dead rat.”
Hopefully, she'd made it clear she wasn't going to tell him everything. Then again, her head was spinning and she wanted to curl up and cry herself to sleep … with her largest knife tucked under her pillow.
“So you moved Sean, but you're going to show up for work?”
She sniffled again. It was hard to breathe. Her eyes were still watering. She wasn’t making any sense but she didn’t have the energy to do better. It was five thirty in the morning and she hadn’t slept but she had given her child away.
Tierney threw her hands up in the air and shook her head, as if to say she didn't know anything. So that's what she told him. “I think it's the safest option.”
He took a visible deep breath. “It concerns me that you're talking about things in terms of who's safe and not being able to be found.”
“Well, it concerns me, too!” Her sarcasm dripped though she didn’t mean to. He needed to leave so she didn’t say anything mean. With one hand Tierney motioned him away. “Please. I need to get some sleep. I'm going to show up
at work today.”
Ronan didn't say anything, but he didn't move either. He just stood there staring at her until she figured maybe she would be the one who would have to move. Maybe she should just go and climb into her bed and then he'd leave. But that wouldn’t work. She needed to check all the window locks again—make sure no one had been here while she was gone. Maybe the snow would help her see tracks? She could only hope. She’d also have to bolt the door behind him when he disappeared.
When he finally got the hint, or just stared at her long enough to figure out she was truly incoherent, he asked, “How well are you going to sleep here?”
This time she practically guffawed. Obviously, she wasn't going to sleep much at all. Everything was chaos. She’d just enacted an endgame plan she'd hoped she'd never have to use. But today she was going to go prep burgers and serve tea and rum and pretend everything was just peachy fine.
She wanted to say this was not the life she’d chosen. However, in a twisted way, it was exactly the life she’d chosen. She'd been young and stupid and honestly, there was a path that had been much much worse. She'd seen it.
“Ronan, I can't right now. Please, just leave this for later.” She was breaking down. She could feel it.
“Come stay at my place.”
She almost couldn’t process the words.
“You’ll be able to sleep better. Someone else will be in the house I'll stay awake and keep an eye out.”
His words melted over her like butter. The thought of someone watching out for her even for just a few hours was so, so tempting. But she'd been tempted before and look where it had gotten her.
“More importantly, you won't be here.” He pointed at the floor, still building his case. “Whoever left those dead rats expects you to be here. Maybe it'll be better if you aren't.”
She’d passed running on fumes hours ago. As much as she wanted to take him up on his glorious offer, Tierney shook her head. “It would make you a target, too.”
Down in Flames (Wildfire Hearts Book 5) Page 6
