by Jenny Frame
Could she have that with Quincy? That was up to Quincy, but if she ran every time they had a problem, especially with all the battle scars Quincy carried, what chance did they have?
One thing was for sure, she was falling for Quincy big time. She heard footsteps and looked up, expecting to find Quincy, but instead she saw Garrett walking towards her.
“Morning, Holly.”
“Garrett.” Holly hoped Garrett would keep on walking, but she didn’t.
“I hear you’ve spent a cosy week with Quincy? Word on the grapevine is that you’re together.”
“How is that any of your business?” Holly said sharply.
“I did warn you. She was drummed out of the marines for violence, and she’s starting the same shit here. Quincy is unhinged.”
Holly put down her coffee and jumped to round on Garrett. “Don’t you ever say that in my presence, Garrett. Quincy is a hero, who has gone through hell for our country.”
“Oh, touchy. She’s over there trying to convince Inspector Lang there is some grand conspiracy to harm the Queen Consort, but surprisingly the only one who has any threats is Quincy. Funny that, eh?”
“What are you talking about?” Holly couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“What?” Garrett held her hand to her chest in mock surprise. “Captain Fantastic didn’t tell you there’s been lots of apparent new threats texted to her?”
Holly said nothing but inside she was angry, both at Garrett and at Quincy. She thought last night Quincy had completely opened up to her. Why would Quincy keep these threats to her best friend a secret? She had thought there was just the first one Garrett had told her about and no more.
“I’ll take your silence as a no, then,” Garrett said. Then she looked her up and down, and said, “She been violent to you too?”
“What? No,” Holly said angrily.
Garrett pointed down to her arm. “Are you sure?” Then she walked off.
Holly looked at her arm and saw fingermarks. Shit, if Quin saw those, she would be even more upset than she was last night.
Quincy returned from the direction of the barn, presumably where she’d been meeting with Lang. “What did Garrett want?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the threats against Bea?” She hadn’t told Quincy she knew about the first. Holly noticed she was back to wearing her grey suit and darker grey tie, and she didn’t have her hair done as Holly had styled it. It was back to combed over to the side.
Clearly the holiday was over, and she was back to Captain Stompy.
Quincy didn’t answer. She walked into the pool house and took a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“Well?” Holly followed her.
Quincy took a sip of water. “You didn’t need to know, and you shouldn’t have known. I told my commanding officer.”
“And? What happened?” Holly said. “Bea is my best friend.”
“Lang didn’t take it seriously, and so I made my own enquiries. Whoever it is has been sending me messages. They stopped when we came here, but last night they started again. I told Cammy, and now Lang is furious that I broke the chain of command. There, you know everything, happy now?”
“No. Why did you run last night. We—” Holly remembered the marks on her arm and covered them up quickly. “We shared something so special. You told me all the pain you had been carrying, and we made love.”
“Then I hurt you,” Quincy said. “I told you, it’s not safe for you. I can’t be with anyone—I’m too scarred.”
Holly felt the tears start to roll down her face. “What? Of course you’re safe.” She took a step towards Quincy and put one hand on Quincy’s chest while the other cupped her cheek. “I understand the pain you carry, but you can share it with me. I’m falling in love with you.”
Quincy closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Holly’s. “I want to protect you from everything, even me.”
Holly kissed Quincy softly. “You could never hurt me.”
Quincy opened her eyes and began to say, “I want—” Then her eyes wandered to Holly’s arm. “What is this? These are from last night, aren’t they?” Quincy said with real panic in her voice.
Holly was frightened that Quincy was going to run, but what could she do but tell the truth? “Yes, but it was a one-off. It was just because you talked about your mission for the first time.”
Quincy recoiled with a horrified look on her face. “I’m so sorry, so sorry. You are the last person I would hurt.”
“I know. It’s okay.” Holly tried to reach out to Quincy but she backed away. Holly saw all the walls she had knocked to the ground rise before her very eyes.
A cold stillness came upon Quincy. She adjusted her tie and said, “The admiral was right. Only bad things happen when I let my emotions rule me. I can’t be with you in that way, Ms. Holly. Last night was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
Quincy nodded and walked out the door.
***
Holly gazed at Quincy across the plane, and she wouldn’t meet her eyes. She’s scared.
“Don’t push her, Holly. She’ll come to you. She has a lot on her mind,” Bea said.
Holly, Bea, and Lali were sitting together on their plane trip to LA. Queen Georgina was in conference with Inspector Lang and Cammy.
Holly hadn’t told Bea or Lali about Quincy’s nightmare, and the real reason she had run. It was far too personal, and they might not understand. She only told them that they’d slept together, and then Quincy had backed off from what she felt.
“She’s a bloody idiot,” Holly said. “You know her mother made her this way? Punished her for showing emotions?”
“The admiral?” Bea said. “Yes, George told me about her. Sounds like a frightening woman.”
Holly lay back in the seat and let out a breath. “It’s so hard to break though the indoctrination the admiral gave her.”
“But you want to keep trying, don’t you?” Lali said.
“I’m not giving up on her, no matter what she thinks.”
***
Quincy could feel Holly’s eyes boring into her from across the plane. She gazed at her hands and felt such shame that these hands could hurt the woman she loved. Maybe the admiral was right—only bad things happened when you let emotion rule you, just like her birth mother had.
Both her personal and private lives were under stress this morning. After receiving the new message last night, she’d contacted Blade first, who’d said she might have something and asked for more time, and then she had to go and talk to Cammy.
Breaking the chain of command was taboo to Quincy, but she felt like she had no other choice. She spoke to Cammy, who was concerned and immediately took it to the Queen.
George had then summoned Inspector Lang for a meeting back at the ranch house. Lang was annoyed with her, and the protection squad were not happy with her either.
At the moment Lang, Cammy, and the Queen were having a conference call with their liaison at the CIA, asking for their help with these anonymous threats.
“You did the right thing, ma’am.”
She looked up at Clay who was sitting at the other side of the table. “I hope so. No matter what happens, we have to keep on our toes.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter Twenty-one
“Garrett?” Quincy’s rage surged through her. “I can’t believe it.”
When they landed in LA, Quincy had a message to call Blade as soon as possible. She didn’t get that chance till the afternoon, as the Queen and the consort went to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, where they were opening a British art exhibition.
As soon as she was assigned her room at the new hotel, she called.
“I’ve been monitoring everyone in your team, just as a matter of course. Garrett received a call yesterday evening, then left the barn and walked out into the woods. I hijacked the ranch’s security cameras.”
“You are good, Blade. Why would she turn agains
t her Queen?” Quincy asked as she paced up and down.
“She’s working with someone. Following instructions. I’m trying to hack into her messages, but they are heavily protected. Hold fire until I know more. Don’t let her know you are on to her.”
Quincy hung up and threw the phone on her bed. There was a knock at the door. She opened it, and Holly walked in.
“Hi, I hoped we could talk,” Holly said.
“I really don’t want to talk,” Quincy said.
“You never do. Don’t be so cold and closed off to me again. We spent a lovely week together and we slept together, if you remember. We need to talk about us.”
“I remember. There is no us. I can’t be with you,” Quincy said firmly.
“You love me—I know you do. You’re just scared.”
“What I’m doing is protecting you. I don’t want to hurt you. Besides, I don’t have time for this. I’ve got lots of other things on my mind.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” Holly looked furious. “I never thought you’d be the sleep with them and run type.”
“Like your precious Story St. John? Despite the fact she sleeps with everything that moves, you and your friends giggle about her like schoolgirls. I sleep with you once and don’t want to see you any more, and I’m bad?”
“Story St. John hasn’t slept with me and dumped me, only you,” Holly said.
“Well, give her time. She’s taking you out to the gala dinner in a few days. I’m sure she’ll get her chance then.”
Holly felt tears starting to roll down her face. “How could you say that? You don’t expect that I’m going out with Story after what we’ve shared?”
“You should go out with her. I don’t want a relationship. Could I make that any clearer?”
Holly hurried to the door, and Quincy stopped her. “I don’t mean to be so harsh. I just can’t be the person who made love to you. I can’t afford to let myself feel.”
Holly wiped her tears away and said, “Jacob told you to grab any chance you had at a life and love, but I suppose you just want to ignore your best friend and wallow in your pit of despair for the rest of your life. The admiral, mark two.”
Holly walked away and slammed the door. Quincy rested her head against the wall. It was destroying her to be so cold to Holly—she was everything to her. But Holly’s safety was more important.
***
Quincy stood outside the Queen’s room with Clay, waiting on the royal party. Tonight was the UNICEF gala. The gala that Holly had been invited to by Story. Cammy had told her she was a bloody idiot for trying to get away from Holly. But encouraging her to go out with another woman seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now the churning inside of her was killing her. The worst of it was she was going to have a front row seat.
Holly came from the consort’s dressing room. She looked utterly breathtaking in her dress for this evening. Holly stopped and gazed at her. She didn’t look happy.
Holly walked up to them and said, “Clay, can I steal Quin for a few seconds?”
“Sure. You look beautiful by the way, Holly,” Clay said.
“Thank you, Clay.”
Clay tactfully took a few steps away, and Quincy said, “You do look beautiful, Holly.”
“Tell me not to go, and I won’t, Stompy,” Holly said.
Quincy was taken aback. She really was still willing to fight for her after she had pushed her away? Holly deserved so much more than Quincy could give her. She thought of how Holly’s body felt in her hands, and when she imagined someone else touching her like that, she felt sick, but she couldn’t be what Holly needed emotionally.
Quincy kissed her forehead and said, “Have a good time.”
A look of sadness and anger came over Holly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I have a bloody good time.”
***
Holly gazed at the beautiful art on Story St. John’s walls. It was exquisite, as was Story’s penthouse flat. It was like an apartment from an interior decorator’s magazine.
There was a large comfortable couch beside her and an open fireplace in front of her, with a mantel at shoulder height, then above that a gorgeous art print.
After the gala Story had asked her back for a drink, and she accepted just so she didn’t have to go back to the hotel. It was funny—a few months ago the thought of being in Story St. John’s penthouse would have made her faint, but not now. Now her heart ached for someone else.
“Here we go.” Story walked towards her with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. She looked adorably sexy with her bow tie hanging undone around her collar.
“You have a beautiful apartment, Story, and your art is amazing,” Holly said.
“Thanks.” Story gave her a glass and poured out some champagne. “I don’t know anything about art. It’s all my interior decorator’s work.”
Holly took her glass and sipped the champagne. “I suppose all the women say that to you.”
Story grinned. “No, normally any woman who comes up to my apartment goes straight to the bedroom. Art isn’t the main thing on their mind.”
Holly laughed. “But not me.”
“Not you, you’re different, Holly.” Story indicated for them to sit down.
Story had been so attentive tonight and hadn’t checked her social media once.
“Why am I different?” Holly asked.
“You don’t treat me like a film star, just like a normal person.”
Holly was intrigued. Story had definitely lost some of her bravado. “You seem different tonight, Story.”
Story looked down sheepishly. “I was looking forward to seeing you again. I really enjoyed meeting someone who wasn’t in my circle. It can be so tiring being Story St. John.”
Holly smiled. “It must be. So there’s another Story?”
“You could say that. I feel more at ease with you. You’re real, and the people I socialize with are never real.”
“It all looks so glamorous, your world, but I suppose there are downsides,” Holly said.
Story looked at her glass and swirled the champagne around. “I had hoped we might be able to see each other again, but then I saw the way you were looking at Queen Bea’s bodyguard.”
Holly gulped. She hadn’t meant to be impolite and look at another woman all night, but she was just drawn to Quincy.
“I’m sorry. When you called me to ask about us, there really was nothing going on, but then we got closer.”
Story smiled. “That’s okay, babe. You win some, you lose some. She was looking at you just as much. I wish someone would look at me that way.”
Holly raised an eyebrow. “Story, women more than look at you all the time. They lust after you.”
Story shook her head. “They don’t look at me the way she was looking at you, Holly. She is so into you.”
“We’re not even together. I thought we were, but she’s frightened of feeling,” Holly said.
She saw a flash of hurt in Story’s eyes. “Sometimes people can be so scared of love, babe, they lose everything. Give her a chance to come around.”
“Are you speaking from experience?” Holly asked. She couldn’t believe Story looked so emotional. She was nothing like the film-star Story.
“Yeah, even Story St. John was in love. I fucked it up. People do stupid things when they’re scared of what they feel. Give her a chance?”
Holly smiled and took Story’s hand. “I’ll try. You should show this side of you more often.”
“That’s not what everyone I meet wants. They want the woman you met on our first date.”
“I hope you get another chance, Story.” Holly kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for tonight.”
***
As much as it killed Quincy, she sat up in the rec room waiting for Holly to get back, just to know she was safe. She’d gone somewhere with Story after the gala and hadn’t come back with the royal party.
Clay had gone to bed a long time ago, and she was left alone.
Would it always be this painful watching Holly be with someone else? In the long term it probably wouldn’t be Story, but someone would come along and give Holly what she couldn’t.
Jacob and Helen would be so disappointed in her. A chance at happiness, and she was walking away from it. Sharing herself, all of her body and soul, was just too hard, and she wasn’t that brave.
She tried to console herself that when they were back in London, she wouldn’t see as much of Holly, only during the workday. It wouldn’t be like here, where they were thrown together constantly.
Quincy sat staring at her computer pad, trying to work and reply to some emails, but her head was just filled with images of Holly and Story together.
She heard the lift doors open, and she knew it was Holly. Quincy looked at her watch. It was two thirty in the morning. Had Holly slept with Story? The thought killed her.
The last time they were in this position, Holly was giggly drunk, and she’d helped her back to her room. This was so different.
Holly walked into the rec room. She wasn’t giggly this time. She looked sad.
“Why are you still up?” Holly asked.
“I wanted to know that you got home safely,” Quincy said.
Holly sighed inwardly. Quincy quite obviously cared for her, she was in as much pain as she was, but she wouldn’t give in to love.
“Well, I’m home safely,” Holly said.
She could see in Quincy’s face how much she wanted to know about what had happened with Story.
“Did you have a good time when you left?”
Holly strode to her. “You want to know if I slept with Story, so that you can heap more pain on yourself, wallow in it, and feel safe that nothing will ever come of your feelings, of the fact that you love me. Because I know you do. Well, bad luck, Captain. I spent the evening telling Story about the woman I love, the woman I want more than anything in the world, and the fact that she doesn’t want me. So, no, I didn’t sleep with her.”
