My True Essence

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My True Essence Page 7

by Shawneda


  “You know y’all wrong for that. This is why people should not have cell phones with cameras.” Jenessa shook her head and smiled. “Oh my, look at the time. I have to get home before I forget what my children look like. Between preparing for the coming tax hiring season and the fundraiser, I feel like I’m never home.”

  Rebecca looked at the clock and shot up off the futon like a rocket. “Oh no! I was supposed to meet Colby at CommuniTea Spirit. He is going to kill me.”

  “No he won’t. You know he came in here looking for you. What is the deal, chic?” Dani sat up and crossed her arms.

  “He is trying to control me and I’m not having it. I am a grown woman I don’t need some man trying to control my going and coming.”Becca said.

  “You know Colby isn’t even like that. Tell us what is really going on Becca?” Dani pulled her friend back onto the seat.

  “I really don’t know how to explain it. Things were great until my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then he freaked out about me going to see her in New York because I passed out. I went to the doctor and they said I was pushing myself too much so he went all Neanderthal on me about leaving. Then when I invited my mom and aunt to come here, he freaked out again. You should have seen how happy he was when they decided to leave early.”

  “You haven’t even been married a year. Becca has it ever occurred to you that maybe he wanted to be alone with his wife? You all aren’t getting any younger. Once you start having babies you’ll be wishing you were married and alone together again.” Jenessa nodded and tilted her head to the side briefly for emphasis.

  “Well, I don’t know about all of that but I do know that I let Antony have too much say about what I did and didn’t do. Before I knew it he was doing more than talking when things didn’t go his way. Whether I had anything to do with it or not.” Rebecca shook her head. “I’m not letting any man have that kind of control over me ever again.”

  “You know Colby wouldn’t do that to you.” Dani scooted closer to her friend. “I think you need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. All of the changes in your life and this stress is taking a toll on you. You’re playing right into the enemy’s plan by letting him tear apart your marriage.”

  “Listen to Minister D over here. Help out one church event and she preaching to the choir.” Becca cackled.

  “Don’t trip. I don’t do phony religious rituals but me and Jesus always been tight. The only reason I’m at your church now is because you asked me to be. I was fine with my Bible and my worship CDs.” Dani rolled her eyes and left her seat.

  “I’m sorry, Dani. I know you love the Lord. That is one of the main reasons you’re my stylist. I’ll think about what you said. I know you’re right. I’ve just gotta get my heart to accept it.” Becca’s shoulders dropped.

  “It’s all good. I knew you were crazy when Toney brought you here. Now you better call that man. The sharks were circling him when he came here asking me to talk to you. You know GFM’s are hard to come by.” Dani stood up and stretched.

  Jenessa looked at Rebecca with one eyebrow arched as she stood. “Do I want to know what a GFM is?”

  “God Fearing Man” Dani and Becca said in unison.

  “You mean a GFBM, God fearing black man.” Jenessa chuckled.

  “Honey please. I can look over cultural and racial differences but the way the world is today only an interceding, Bible reading, praying God fearing man will do.” Dani nodded and picked up her purse. “Which is what Becca has and needs to keep.”

  “Amen to that.” Jenessa nodded.

  Becca imitated their stern looks and nodded as well. She hoped she could look over the racial and cultural differences too.

  Chapter Eleven

  “So it is definitely triple negative. The second opinion confirmed as well. Yes, I’m glad we caught it early too. No, that won’t be necessary. Okay. Thank you again. Have a good day.” Jenessa gently tapped the phone on her head then placed it back in its holster on her hip.

  “So when were you gonna tell us, Mama?” Charles Jr. walked into the kitchen.

  Jenessa almost jumped out of her skin and then turned around so fast she felt like her head was about to spin.

  “Have you been lying to us all our lives or just now?” Charles Jr. stared into her eyes without blinking.

  “That is an absurd question, Charles Jr. You know I tell you children everything.” Jenessa turned and walked to the cabinet.

  “No, you don’t. How can you expect us to talk to you when you don’t talk to us? Such a hypocrite.” Charles Jr. turned around and left the room as abruptly as he entered it.

  Jenessa walked to the door frame and opened her mouth to yell but nothing came out. Accusations and ugly words from her ex- husband about being a liar and a fraud swirled around in her head. Nasty names stuffed her ears and shame settled in between her shoulders. She was a bigger hypocrite than Charles Jr. or Dominique could ever know.

  ***

  As Becca walked towards her, Vichonda let the smile she flashed at a fellow church member fade. In its place a faint scowl settled on her lips. Crow’s feet were in the girl’s future if she didn’t watch it.

  “How nice of you to join us today, Sister Thorn.” Vichonda said with acid dripping from every word.

  “Let’s cut the falsities today, Vichonda. Would you like to tell me why no one is willing to work on the fashion show this year. I’ve had more than one person allude to your saying something that convinced them it would not be in their best interest to participate.” Becca crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

  Vichonda looked down at her foot and stepped in closer to Rebecca. “Is popping that little pump up and down supposed to mean anything to me? You may have everyone else up in this church thinking you’re the best thing since rice and beans, but make no mistake, chica, I will not let you keep taking things that are rightfully mine and get away with it.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you can best believe that Sister Greene is going to hear about this. Your delusions are costing us precious time and resources in getting the fashion show up and running.” Becca inched forward, invading Vichonda’s space.

  Vichonda took a step back and smiled. “Oh you don’t scare easy I see. That’s good. I wanna see how tacky you really are when the fashion show doesn’t happen. Cause it won’t if I have anything to do with it.”

  “Ay dios mio, Lord help me.” Becca closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Many are the plans of a man’s heart but the will of the Lord will prevail. You evil little—.”

  Vichonda balled her fist and stepped back into Rebecca’s space.

  “Don’t even think about it, I’d wring your neck like a chicken.” Becca turned around and stomped off upset that she’d lost her cool.

  ***

  Colby stared at the words on the screen. He read them to himself again. This would probably not end well for anyone involved but the truth would come out. He didn’t want to go behind her back or over her head, but God made it clear to Him he should do it. When he saw her about to go for twelve rounds with Vichonda Trude, he knew something was up. Separated or not she was his wife and he could not continue to allow ministry events and foolishness to keep them apart. If she was going to be working with Sister Greene, then Sister Greene needed to be aware of everything going on. After he pressed send, Colby released the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

  Chapter Twelve

  Becca stopped inside of the foyer to Dani’s Diva Den and paused when she reached for her phone. She placed her purse on the table next to the wall and stopped when she heard voices in the other room.

  “So are we going to do this or what? You know how aggressive triple negative breast cancer is and you have inflammatory breast disease. The longer you wait the worst things will be, Dani. We need to start treatment right away.” Jenessa said.

  “I’m not sure this is what I want to do. You’ve had your
children. You don’t need your breast anymore. I haven’t even found a husband yet. What man wants to marry a chic with a flat chest and flat butt? I know I change my hair every week but, it’s mine to change. I don’t want to go bald and lose my breast. Who is going to run my shop? I can’t afford to go through chemo right now, Jenessa. You have a fancy corporate job with FMLA, short term disability, long term disability and every other ability known to man.” Dani’s voice escalated with each question.

  “If you’re dead you won’t have any of that to worry about. You have insurance and you’ve been good with your money. I looked over your accounts remember. You can’t afford not to do this, Dani. There are men who don’t care about your hair, butt or breasts. But I don’t know any who’ll marry or have children with a dead woman. Dead, you hear me? That is how you will end up if you think this will just go away.” Jenessa said.

  Becca had to strain to hear the last part. She felt the metal cutting her hands from how tightly she gripped her keys. Tears and anger welled up inside of her.

  “You can tell my head all the facts you want, but you need to pray if you’re going to make any leeway in erasing this fear and convincing my heart… you” Dani looked at Jenessa.

  Jenessa’s head dropped between her shoulders.

  “How could you two keep this from me?” Becca ran up to them and dropped her purse on the ground. “Dani, I thought you were my best friend? You know how hard it is for me to open up to people.”

  “Becca calm down. You had enough going on in your life. I know I’m not going to die.” Dani shot a look at Jenessa. “I knew this could wait. I asked Jenessa to meet me here before your appointment to talk to you about everything that is going on. We’re concerned about you.”

  “So concerned you didn’t think you should be honest with me about having cancer? That is very considerate of both of you. Jenessa we just met, but I mean I thought we were better than that.” Becca plopped down in a seat and held her head up with her hands.

  “You seemed to be under a lot of stress. It was my idea not to tell you. When I saw Dani in Dr. Thompson’s office and she mentioned it, I remembered how you fainted in my office and thought it might be a bit too much stress for you.” Jenessa sighed as she eased into the chair next to Becca. “Don’t be angry with Dani we were just looking out for you.”

  “Why does everyone feel like it’s their place to do that for me? I’m a grown woman. I survived getting beat on for years by a grown man. God helped me live through that so clearly this I can handle. And if I can’t that is not your problem, it’s on me.” Becca picked up her purse and put it on her shoulder.

  “That is not true Rebecca, I didn’t want to add any more drama to what is going on with you. You’re aunt is dying. Your mother moved back to the Dominican Republic and you’re separated from your husband. This can wait. I’m not going anywhere.” Dani took Becca by the hand, led her to her station, and guided her into the empty seat.

  “Just because I’m sitting down and letting you do my hair does not mean you’re off the hook, Danielle Wardeen. It’s hard finding someone who knows how to do my hair the way I like.” Becca let Jenessa slide her purse off her shoulder.

  “Fair enough, since you’re already mad at us. I guess we can go ahead and tell you how stupid you are being by leaving your husband for some space and time to think.” Dani straightened Becca’s head as she tried to turn around in her seat. “Be still girl, if I was pressing your hair you would have scorched your forehead off.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jenessa smiled and shook her head as she rounded the corner to her street. All muscles around her mouth reversed as she recognized her ex husband’s car sitting in front of the walkway to her front door. Since his weekend with the kids was over, why was he still at her house? She pressed the garage door opener and whipped into her parking spot. Her hands moved so fast she placed the car in park, opened the door and jumped out of the car before the engine seemed to stop.

  Charles Jr. appeared with his duffle bag over his shoulder and his large luggage bag in his left hand. His father stepped out behind him with a bag in each of his hands.

  “Someone needs to tell me what is going on here.” Jenessa blocked them from exiting the hallway.

  “Good evening, Jenessa. How are you feeling?” Charles Sr. rested the luggage he was carrying on the floor next to his feet.

  “You must be crazy. Skip the pleasantries and tell me why you look like your moving my child out without my permission.” Jenessa crossed her arms.

  “Don’t make a scene, Nessa, goodness. Dominique and CJ want to come live with me. I’ll let you discuss this with them. Excuse me.” Her ex-husband took the bags her son held and paused in front of her.

  Jenessa let her arms down and turned to let him squeeze by.

  “Where is your sister?” Jenessa sized her son up and squashed the desire to strangle him.

  “I’m right here, Momma. Please calm down because stress releases free radicals in your body and that’s not good for your condition.” Dominique placed her multicolored duffel bag outside of her room.

  “You weren’t too concerned about that when you decided to move out now were you?” Jenessa looked at the ceiling and huffed.

  Dominique stared at her.

  “I don’t even have words to articulate what I’m feeling right now.” Jenessa turned around and walked into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator. Dominique and Charles appeared above the open door.

  “This is exactly why we’re leaving. You don’t say anything to us. That may have worked when we were little but I’m practically an adult and Charles Jr. is right behind me. What is the point of being here if you aren’t? All you do is work and church, or go out with your boyfriend. We can take a hint, Momma. You want to live your life. Well we want a parent. I talk to Dad every day, but I can go two or three days without seeing you and we live in the same house.” Dominique rolled her eyes.

  “You don’t have to exaggerate Dominique. I work hard to take care of you. It’s not cheap living in this house, feeding, clothing and supporting all of your interests. Your father helps but he has a family of his own that requires his attention and time.” Jenessa closed the refrigerator door. She pulled out a chair and sat down at the table.

  “We are his family. He makes time for us and is honest about what is going on with him. Who has to trick their mother into getting a follow up doctor appointment? Your boyfriend doesn’t like us and we don’t like him so we figure it’ll be better for everyone if we move in with Dad. We’ll just come home on our weekends with you.” Dominique sighed and sat down across from her mother.

  “You could just stay home and stop all of this foolishness.” Jenessa pressed her hand to her forehead. “I need a pain pill.”

  Dominique stood up and walked over to the cabinet. She retrieved a glass and two pain killers from their cabinets. She bent down and kissed Jenessa on the forehead. “Here, Momma, I have to finish packing.”

  ***

  Dani laughed and typed the reply message to her sister. Her decision about treatment weighed on her mind but she was determined not to worry. Meeting with Jenessa to work on the fashion show and trying to wiggle her way back into Becca’s good graces were welcome distractions from the choices she had to make. It seemed like all of the information she read contradicted itself. She said a quick prayer for guidance concerning her treatment and her helping with the event.

  The LED indicator on her phone stopped blinking and she looked up. Her eyes bulged as her jaw went slack. Vichonda and Colby sat across from each other. Dani walked up to the counter. They went to the same church so there was no reason for her to freak out. It could be ministry related. No need to jump to crazy conclusions. Colby loved Becca and would never do anything to hurt her. She fought the desire to turn around and look at them again.

  “Are you ready to order ma’am?” a young woman with tiny, curly locks tilted her head to the left and waited.
/>   “Yes, peach and white strawberry personal pot of tea with a pink lemonade and a blue velvet cupcake from Craving Confections Cupcakery.” Dani pulled her bank card out of her wallet.

  “I love her stuff. My favorite is the carrot. Eight twenty five.” The cashier took the card. The machine made a whirring sound and a receipt slid out of an opening in the top, she handed both to Dani.

  “Thank you.” Dani stepped to the side. She positioned herself so she could see Colby and Vichonda from the corner of her eye. What was she going to tell Rebecca? Should she even bother? They already had enough problems and this could be nothing.

  “Here ya go.” The young lady smiled. “Enjoy.”

  “Huh, oh. Thanks.” Danielle sat down in a table across from the register but closer to Colby’s table. Still too far to eavesdrop on the conversation, Dani almost choked when Vichonda placed her hand on top of Colby’s. She smiled when she saw him pull his hand back.

  “Good for you, Colby,” Dani whispered.

  Colby stood up and Dani panicked a bit. For some reason she didn’t want him to see her.

  “What is he doing here with her?” Jenessa crouched down next to Dani.

  “Stay right there. I don’t want him to know it’s us.” Dani shifted in her seat and reached in her purse like she was looking for something.

  Colby and Vichonda walked by with Vichonda closest to Jenessa and Dani.

  Jenessa sat down and sighed as Colby and Vichonda walked out of the door.

  “What do you think that was about? Why didn’t we speak? That was silly.” Jenessa put her purse on the table next to the wall.

  “I don’t know. Just a feeling in my gut, more about Vichonda then Colby. There is something about her I don’t like.” Dani bit into her blue velvet cupcake.

  “You just can’t put your finger on it?” Jenessa eyed Dani’s cupcake.

  “Girl, whatever it is I sense about her, I wouldn’t put a double gloved bleachy finger on.” Dani said with her hand covering her mouth. “These are so good. Go get something so we can get to work. Becca needs all the help we can give.”

  “From the looks of things she needs our help and then some.” Jenessa stood up and walked to the counter.

 

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