Jeanne wiped at the corners of her eyes. “I wish you all the time you need.”
“Me too,” Megan sniffed.
“Cut it out, you lot, or I’ll be forced to go build sandcastles.”
Allan flicked his newspaper, looking mighty uncomfortable with their emotional exchange.
“If you can’t stop eavesdropping, then how about joining them on the beach. It wouldn’t hurt you to get a bit of exercise.”
He sucked in his stomach. “I get enough exercise running the park. Let a man have a bit of peace, can’t you?”
“Not until you cook our lunch.”
Allan got up, moaning good-naturedly about a man’s work never being done, and Abby was once again reminded of what a great couple they were, and how much they clearly loved one another despite the little charade they liked to engage in—of the hen-pecked husband, and the nagging wife. Nothing could be further from the truth.
They supported each other, having found a lifestyle that suited them perfectly, where they could help other people and share their sense of a home away from home at the holiday park. What they had together wasn’t luck; it was hard work and mutual respect.
Abby and Max had started their lives together with the same sort of relationship. She’d lost sight of it when she’d been ill and for a long time they’d been tiptoeing around the topic of being childless, but now everything seemed so good between them she felt like the hurt was nearly healed. Funny how a child that could never be theirs had made her see how happy she could be again.
Jeanne and Abby got the rest of the food ready, discussing what was happening for Christmas.
“We’re staying put again this year because the park’s going to be full, as usual. What about you?”
“With Mom and Dad gone, I hadn’t thought of doing anything special. Max’s family is too far away in New York and, like you, this is our busy time.”
“Why don’t you come to our house for Christmas?”
“I couldn’t impose.”
“Sure you could.” Jeanne laughed. It’s no imposition and a lot of the people staying in the park have no families either, so we usually have a pot luck with some of the regulars.”
“I’ll talk to Max, but it sounds good.”
“These sausages are nearly ready,” Allan called to them.
Abby ran down to the others. “Lunch is ready.”
“Great. I am starving.”
Max dusted himself off and Liam emulated him, which was very cute. As they strolled up the beach Max took her hand and memories flooded back of the countless times they had walked like this. Only now they had an interested audience. A small serious boy and two giggling girls.
This was the nicest day that Abby could remember in years. Children bickering and dripping water over everyone while they ate their sausages in bread. Ketchup and mustard dribbling down their faces and, in Allan’s, case his shirt, much to everyone’s amusement. He tried to blame the twins for bumping him, and they were only too happy to join in the joke and giggle the afternoon away.
It was obvious that these shenanigans were new to Liam. At first, he looked a little worried that they were being serious, but after a while he, too, was laughing. Abby’s heart swelled at the thought of making even a small difference in his life.
“How about a beach race?” Alice asked them all.
“Sounds like fun. Let’s set up a start and finish.” Max, not one to sit still for long, got the children to use driftwood for the markers and Jeanne became the starter and the judge.
The races began and were destined to involve a bit of pushing and shoving and a small amount of cheating, until they were covered in sand and exhausted. Liam was a natural at ducking and diving and was extremely fast.
“I declare that the overall winner is Liam. Besides crossing the line before the rest of you cheaters he wasn’t as rough.”
There were several protests but the judge would not enter into discussions. “Off you go for a swim before it gets too cold,” Jeanne waved them away.
Outer garments were thrown to the sand and the children ran into the water with Megan, Max and Allan—all except Liam, who sat at the water’s edge with a small shovel. The tide had come in and was about to wash away their sand building efforts.
“Don’t you want to have a swim?”
“No, thank you, Abby. I like playing in the sand.”
She would have let him be except he kept looking wistfully towards the others as he played. “Can you swim, Liam?”
“No,” he said sadly. “My mom said she would teach me. One day.”
“Do you want to learn? Max and I could teach you.”
“What’s this?” Max stood over them, dripping water as he retrieved his cap from the sand.
“Liam doesn’t know how to swim and I said we’ll teach him if he wants to learn.”
“If you’re going to live here for a while, you need to learn to swim. Then we’ll know that you’re safe near the water.”
Liam lifted his face and his lip quivered.
“But I’m scared.”
“No need to be scared, son. Everyone should be very careful around water and only swim when there are people with you. Abby took a while to get the hang of it, but now she swims like a fish, don’t you?”
Max kicked some water at her and she squealed and stood up. “Stop that!”
“Or what?” His eyes challenged her.
Abby pulled his cap over his eyes and raced to the other side of the moat, which he merely jumped over. He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her high in the air, then dumped her in the shallows. Gasping at the coolness of the water, she shrieked. She turned to find Liam a couple of feet into the shallows, looking afraid. He’d probably never seen two adults playing like this. She scooped up some water and threw it up in the air.
“Come on in, Liam, the waters beautiful.”
Wide-eyed Liam watched her throw some water at Max, who laughed and scooped some over her, then turn and do the same to the boy. For a moment, he was stunned. Then his eyes lit up and he threw handfuls of water at them. Soon the three of them were shrieking and laughing.
“Wait, you two should at least take your tops and shorts off.” Max suggested.
Max had already stripped off his t-shirt and his bronzed body glistened in the early afternoon sunshine. Liam needed no further encouragement. He stripped down to his swim shorts and threw his clothes onto the sand next to the other’s discarded jumble.
Abby did likewise and then ran out to deeper water, waiting for the others to follow. Max bent down to Liam and picked him up, talking softly, and she saw the boy nod. Striding out to her, Max lowered the nervous looking boy into the water and placed his hands under his stomach so that Liam floated in the cocoon of his arms.
“You’re so brave Liam. Are you ready for a lesson now?” Max asked.
Liam, blossoming under the praise, nodded enthusiastically up at him.
“Abby, if you stand on the other side we can hold hands underneath him until he learns how to float. There’s no hurry to do more than that today.”
The feel of his small body between them, her hands clasped with Max’s, made Abby want to cry. Happiness flowed through her like a warm wave and she smiled at her husband.
Max smiled back as he encouraged Liam, who was picking it up very quickly. “Use your arms like this.” He took one hand from beneath the boy and, taking Liam’s closest to him, he made it scoop the water like a breast stroke. “Looking good, buddy. Now kick with your legs.”
Liam did his best, his arms and legs moving frantically.
“How you doing? Everything okay?” Abby was amused by his determination.
Liam tried to speak but took in a bit of water and coughed.
Max pulled him upright. “Easy, tiger. Want to try on your own yet?”
Liam nodded and they eased him back onto his stomach. Waiting until he seemed to get the hang of it, they carefully released him. He slipped under a wave, then h
e was floating and moving jerkily through the water. Maybe he wasn’t their son, but Abby couldn’t have been prouder.
After a while, he stood up, breathing heavily after the exertion.
“This is so cool. I want to swim every day.”
“You did so well. Maybe I can work something out with Jeanne. Let’s go and talk to her now. You’re shivering, anyway, so I think it’s time to get dry.”
Taking a hand each they walked up to where the others waited and then they wrapped themselves in the towels They’d left by the picnic table.
Max began to gently rub Liam dry, with a few tickles added for good measure until the boy was giggling and squirming. “Liam wants to have some swimming lessons. I thought I could do that on the weekends, if you don’t mind Jeanne.”
He handed the boy to Jeanne who dressed him quickly and discretely. All the girls had gone to the changing rooms with Megan and could be heard laughing and singing.
“I’d be grateful for that. We have a pool at the park, as you know, and I’d feel better knowing that he could swim.”
Liam suddenly yawned which signalled the start of packing up in readiness to go home.
Saying goodbye to Liam was especially hard this time. Perhaps he was overtired, because he began fussing about leaving with Jeanne and Allan, when he was usually so obliging. He hardly said goodbye to Megan and the twins.
“Why can’t I come with you? You have a spare room, and I would be good. I promise.”
Max sat on the bench with him and tried to explain once more.
“Liam, you know we would love to have you come stay, but we aren’t allowed to. We can see you only when Jeanne or Allan is around. That’s just the way it is, son, and being angry won’t change that.”
Liam looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave them an accusing look before getting into Jeanne’s wagon.
It was gut-wrenching to see him so upset, but it would be worse to stop seeing him, so Abby chose to pretend the day hadn’t ended on a bad note, and Max said nothing at all, his ‘I told you so’ look enough of a clue as to his true feelings.
Chapter Six
“Can I talk to you about Christmas?” Abby was making coffee after another busy week.
Max was getting himself a slice of apple pie. “What about Christmas? We’re staying in town, aren’t we?”
“Well, yes. It’s just that I’ve been thinking about something Jeanne said about how she often shares Christmas lunch with some of her regular guests. She’s asked us to join them.”
“Christmas with strangers?”
His tone suggested he’d find wood chips under his nails more appealing. Then he shrugged.
“I guess we can go if you really want to.”
“Ummm. That’s not it. I had this idea that we could do something a bit grander. On the common, actually. We could open it up to anyone in Prossers Bay that was interested. I talked to some of my friends over the week and they seemed quite excited about it.”
“You did what?” Max was sitting at the kitchen table. His fork hung halfway to his mouth as the filling splattered on his plate.
So far, as expected—not so well. “I know it’s not the sort of Christmas you prefer, but just hear me out.”
Max dropped the fork, swivelled the kitchen chair around and straddled it, his pie forgotten. “Go ahead. Tell me how this is going to work.”
Abby rubbed her hands together and leaned against the bench. It was harder trying to explain when he was watching her like this. The problem was that Max didn’t like crowds. In fact, he was happiest under the hood of a car or nursing a beer watching his sports. Maybe with a couple of friends. She wasn’t sure how to approach the subject but since it was only a few weeks before Christmas, she had to find out if he would buy into it.
“We ask everyone who’s interested to bring a plate of food and we set up the common with tables and chairs. I’ve read about other towns that do it successfully, and I know we can make it work.”
“What about plates, cutlery, and those tables and chairs you so casually mentioned?”
“That’s the beauty of it. Everyone will bring their own.”
“So, this year, everyone in town comes to the common for Christmas lunch? Instead of spending it comfortably in their own homes, with their own friends and family, and they bring everything that they would normally have at home, to the common?”
“Well, yes, if they want to, and of course not everyone will.”
“It’s about Liam, isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t cared about Christmas in a very long time, and suddenly you want to create a big thing of it. You’re not doing this for Prossers Bay - this is for Liam.”
What had she been thinking? Of course, Max would see her convoluted idea for what it was. But that didn’t mean that there weren’t other people who could benefit from a Christmas spent this way, or that she was any less determined to make it happen.
“What if I am? Is that such a bad thing? He told me that he hasn’t had a nice Christmas in years. We could change that.”
Max sighed. “I thought once he went to Allan and Jeanne’s that you would let him be, eventually.”
Abby looked down at her hands, unable to meet his gaze. “I wanted to not care, but I couldn’t leave him there and just forget about him. He trusts me, and heaven knows he hasn’t had much reason to trust anyone. I feel responsible for him.”
“You’ve found him a loving family, made sure he has enough to eat and clothes to wear. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know that, but he’s not as happy at the Jeanne and Allan’s as he should be.”
“You haven’t given him time to be happy with anyone but you. It’s not fair to the boy, or to us. His mom may be back at any time, and if he gets too attached, then what will you do if he has to leave?”
“If his mom wants him, then that’s good, isn’t it?”
“Do you expect me to believe that you would willingly let him go?”
“I wouldn’t have a say in it.”
“That’s right, you wouldn’t, and I’d hate for you to fall to pieces, like last time.”
Abby was surprised. It was like they pretended her break-down had never happened. Bringing up that awful time had been a no-go area for so long that it was like a force-field embedded in their lives. Sooner or later, the walls had to come down completely, otherwise they might never know what the world could be like without bad memories, or in spite of them. Hadn’t the therapist she’d seen a few times told her that?
The guilty look on his face saddened her. It had never been only about her. There were two of them involved in the many years of tragedy. Two people, who had loved each other since high school. For nearly two decades they’d been everything to each other, but they’d lost so much time through heartache and broken dreams. And now that they’d finally come out the other side she wouldn’t ruin it.
“Whatever happens with Liam, I won’t let myself get like that again. I promise.”
He held his hand up. “Don’t. You can’t promise something like that. Not when I know how much you want him.”
“Of course I want him, but not as much as I want you and me to be who we once were.”
“Will that happen? Without a child?”
“We have to make it happen. What do we love about each other? Those things haven’t gone. We’ve said and done things we never imagined we could, but they’re in the past and we’ve moved on. Maybe it took me a bit longer than it should have to do that, but I love you. I love us.”
The look on his face tore at her heart. The yearning and pain, clear for the first time.
“Abby, I’ve never stopped loving you. I love everything about you except the way you shut me out.”
“Shut you out? It was the other way around. You wouldn’t talk to me.”
“I wanted to talk with you, but not about the same thing, over and over again. I never knew how to make y
ou feel better. It nearly broke me, watching you go through those miscarriages. The excitement, the fear and then the eventual loss, especially with the last one. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t make sense, and I couldn’t fix it. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“You could have had children with someone else. You still could.”
“If I had been the one unable to have children, would you have left me?”
“No!”
“Well, how can you think so little of me that you thought I could?”
“I didn’t think you could. I thought you should. I love you so much, and I feel so guilty that I can’t give you a child.”
Max rubbed his hands through his hair. “If we could have had children that would’ve been great, but all I really need is you. I’ve told you so many times. That’s enough for me. I wish it was enough for you.”
“It is. You are enough.”
“What about Liam?”
“I don’t have to like it, but as long as Liam’s happy, then I can let him go. Please believe me.”
“I want to believe you, honey. I’m just not convinced you’re doing the right thing by giving anyone hope.”
“Without hope, you and I wouldn’t still be together.”
Max was silent while he digested that. It took a little time, and then he smiled his special smile for her. The one that melted her heart and gave her strength.
“You’re right. I guess it’s only lunch—with a bunch of strangers.”
He came to her and stroked her face the way he used to, and he kissed her the way she loved to be kissed. She gripped his shirt in her hands, wanting to never stop, holding onto his strength and his love, and giving it back to him.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. Her heart was pounding as she felt his hand on the front of her shirt as his fingers danced along her cleavage and tapped at the top button.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door which made them jump apart like two teenagers caught in a compromising situation. They both laughed and Max had to adjust himself before he went to open it.
Prossers Bay Series Page 6
