“The brother that goes here… The one you’ve mentioned. That’s… Paxton?” I ask bit by bit, as the pieces start forming in my head.
She jerks to her feet concerned, her hands reaching out to grasp mine. “Hendrix…” she tries again, but I shake my head irrationally.
“I thought you were on my side. I thought we were friends.”
“Hendrix we are friends. You are basically the realest friend I’ve ever had. I didn’t not tell you about him I swear.”
I raise my brow, causing her to add sheepishly. “Okay, I did, not-tell you, but I don’t tell anyone. I mean most people know, because most of these lemmings grew up with us, but I never broadcast it. I’ve always just wanted to live my own life you know? I just want to be my own person. Someone who isn’t the little sister of Paxton Reed and every unwritten rule that comes along with being her.”
Flashes from the party and how she drunkenly told him off, to her seemingly comfortable relationship with him…. Even the tension between Austin and her, and the reasons that maybe he denies his attraction to her – all of it keeps skating through my head. Whirling together into a mesh of connected lines and arrows. Whilst they don’t look anything alike, with Paxton’s dark blonde hair and Lucy’s tight Auburn ringlets – they have the same full lips, and high cheekbones, that I almost laugh that it seems so obvious.
“And Tucker? He’s your cousin so….” I mutter questionably, but she doesn’t even have to nod. That’s got to be at least half the cause of that underlying tension between Tucker and Paxton. Paxton’s family is the wealthy side, whilst Tucker is the lesser, poorer cousin. The cousin, Paxtons’ mother reached out to. The same mother, that Paxton told me all about that night and about how much she means to him. Everything just falls into its’ messy place. Well everything, except why he treated me the way he did today. And whilst I feel blindsided by Lucys’ confession, the sincerity of her eyes tells me she didn’t have anything to do with what happened today. I’m all too familiar with running away from your family and trying to pave your own path – more than I’ve even admitted to anyone. So who was I to begrudge Lucy for keeping her own path a secret too? I would be a total hypocrite to be annoyed at her right now for not telling me when I have also kept so many family secrets from her. And I may be naïve, but my gut trusts her.
“Do you… do you want me to leave?” she mutters softly, causing a careful smile to cross my lips. I pick up the dvd she left on my bed, and turn my focus solely on that.
“I thought you were going to introduce me to this John Tucker guy? As long as nobody actually dies though. I don’t think I could handle anything too graphic right now.”
The radiant smile that overtook her, swallowed her whole. “Yeah sure!” she chirps, tossing her arms around me. And it only took a split second this time, until my arms found their way around her too.
“And to answer your question, no, no one actually dies.”
Despite on the outside we looked as though we had nothing in common, it turns out, we had way more than I ever thought possible.
And I kind of liked that.
I roll over, tiredly scraping a sticky candy wrapper off my cheek, my groggy gaze landing on the head of Auburn curls snoring softly beside me. I smiled. Lucy and I spent the night eating way too much sugar, and gossiping about random stuff that had nothing to do with Paxton, Amber or classes. Last night felt light, and was exactly what I needed; but in the harsh light of a new day, the churning in my gut that was residing there, had nothing to do with the empty chocolate wrappers sprawled across the bed. It was all to do with him.
After quietly having a shower and trekking back to my room, I’d just finished tossing on some jeans and an oversized hoodie, when Lucy propped herself up on my small bed looking somewhat put together somehow. She was just that kind of girl.
“Ugh, what time is it? Did we drink last night?” she moans.
“No alcohol, just sugar… apparently,” I mutter, picking up the last few discarded wrappers off the floor and tossing them in the bin.
“I’ll definitely need to burn that off today, what do you say? Want to blow off classes and hit some yoga at the beach before the game tonight?”
Right, another football game. A game, I really didn’t want to go to.
“Umm, I can’t miss class today,” I stutter, my plans about needing to do well here back in front of mind. “And I don’t think I’ll go to the game tonight. I might try and pick up a shift at the diner.”
The frown and sad eyes told me her reply without words, so I quickly added, “But hey, maybe we can meet up after?”
She nodded. “For sure! You have a phone, now right? I’ll text you.”
I glanced to the desk and where the phone sat turned off. I wasn’t sure I wanted to use it, but I needed to be able to contact people. I had actual people in my life now that I wanted to be in touch with – and the main one was sitting right in front of me.
“Sounds like a plan.”
When Lucy left, I spent an hour running over my notes, before I made my way down to the main doors of the dorm. My heart pulsed a little, wondering if Austin would be here today, but when I didn’t see him outside, I was both disappointed and relieved. I didn’t have time to deal with any fact that maybe Austin was a part of Paxtons’ humiliation plan as well. I mean, his whole crew were conveniently stationed in the hall when he ridiculed me, so who knows how much was real with him and how much wasn’t. My heart was screaming at me to trust my instincts with Austin, but they were obviously so far off with Paxton that I didn’t really trust my judgement right now.
I sat in my usual seat in Financial Management glancing briefly between the spare seat beside me and the open door as other students streamed inside. I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t sure I preferred my usual class partner Tucker, or my guard-on-duty Austin. But when I busied myself with sorting through my notes, I felt the presence of someone beside me, and I stole a breath before I dared to glance up.
“Hey.”
I smiled. “Hey Tucker.”
He bit his lip like he was wanting to say something, but before he could get anything out, the professor glided in and started the class.
“Did you see the assignment we were given for next week?” Tucker asked at the end of class, finally breaking the silence between us since he walked in, as he packed up his things.
“Yep, and with that and all the laws I need to catchup on, I’ll definitely be more than busy next week that’s for sure.” I stuffed my last book in my backpack, and shrugged it over my shoulder.
“You know we can always study together? Uncle Roger got me caught up real fast given most of these prerequisites were done at the sister school. You know, the one I also didn’t attend?” He added playfully, nudging my shoulder with his as we walked toward the hall together. “Just say the word and I’ll help you.”
At the mention of his Uncle who was Lucy’s father… as well as Paxton’s… caused my breathing to pause. Despite Paxton not speaking much about his dad, I always got the impression that he wasn’t a good man. Odd though, if he was helping his nephew do well in school.
Stop it Hendrix.
I cursed myself for thinking more about it. More about him. And whilst I could’ve asked Tucker more about it, even easily slipping into a harmless question about their family history. I couldn’t. Because when I caught the easy smile on his face it was exactly the kind of thing I didn’t need to focus on right now. I needed to be focusing on school, and with talk of classes – it was easier and safer to stick to that topic.
“Thanks Tucker. I just may have to take you up on that.”
We continued our trek toward the cafeteria, when I tried desperately not to glance at the table in the centre. It didn’t matter though if my eyes didn’t see him, because I felt his gaze with each and every step to our table. I could’ve chosen to eat in my dorm today. I could’ve easily made that choice to avoid any further unease that his gaze alone now brings – but that’s n
ot why I came here. I was done running. Nothing would ever be worse than that night – the night my entire world changed dramatically. So I squared my shoulders and held my head high as I plonked myself down in my usual seat.
“What, no Mercedes and Gabe today?” I asked, as Tucker took the seat opposite me.
“I think they blew off classes. Something about beach yoga.”
I nodded with a smile. “Lucy.”
I played with the water bottle I tugged from my bag, feeling torn between the gaze searing my back and the concerned one opposite me, before Tucker edged a cough to get my attention.
“So… about yesterday…”
“You heard?” I ask not getting an immediate answer. I was both surprised and not surprised that it seemed to be getting around. Whilst it was humiliating that Paxton treated me that way infront of his friends, it was hardly the whole Academy that were there when it happened. Which means it’s had no trouble being spread around somehow, and I couldn’t help but wonder if a certain Queen Bee was responsible for that.
“Yeah, it’s the buzz going around about how the Golden Crown tore down one of his peasants.”
I felt slapped, hearing it worded that way from him and feeling more stupid than ever that I began trusting said king.
“Sorry, that sounded harsh, it’s just what everyones’ been saying.”
“It’s okay, I mean it’s not… but I get it. It’s not your fault.”
“Is this a ‘it’s not you it’s me conversation?” he adds playfully, causing me to smile - barely.
“Something like that. Except, it’s a ‘it’s not you, it’s not me, it’s a them - kind of conversation.’”
He laughed lightly, before hopping up and taking the seat beside me, straddling the chair so he was facing me. “Hendrix, don’t let them get to you. They are entitled, self-centered and are not good people. Trust me when I say this isn’t about you.”
I glance up. “I know. I guess I just thought….” I start, before pausing. I didn’t need to tell Tucker how I felt about Paxton. There was no love lost between those two, so I just dropped it. “I just thought I’d try and fit in a little. But I’m not going to let them get to me. I’m honestly just here to do well in my classes. That’s all I want right now.”
I didn’t realise how close Tucker was to me, until I looked up at him again. I held my breath, noting the tilt of his head and his eyes on my lips. He raised his hand and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering there, before gliding down my cheek and braid, whilst I stared at him dumbfounded.
“Tucker what are you…?” I start, as he slowly shifts his head toward me, before tilting at the last minute to whisper in my ear. “I’m here for you if you need me okay?”
I glanced down and smiled uneasily. I wasn’t comfortable with Tucker like this, but it seemed fairly platonic, so I nodded and uttered a thank you. When the moment was interrupted by a buzz on his thigh, his eyes glanced at the phone flashing in his pocket. He uncurled his hand from my cheek, and picked it up, his eyes widening when he read the message.
“Is, ah, is everything okay?”
When he glanced back at me, his eyes were full of sorrow. And they weren’t for what we were just talking about either – they were for me in a way that made me more than uneasy.
“Hendrix I’m…. I’m so sorry.”
“What?” I shake my head, wondering what’s going on, when I subtly notice the simultaneous buzzing of other messages going off around us. I glance around the room, seeing eyes of students down on their phones, and when my eyes find Tuckers again, the heartbreak I see causes my heart to thump loudly.
“Tucker?”
He takes a sombre breath and flashes his screen at me, and my entire life basically flashes before my eyes. My stomach falls to the floor in a heavy, squished pile on the cafeteria floor.
It was a photo.
A photo of me.
One that caused the past flashes of my old life to assault me, more than the pain I was looking at that covered my entire body. It was taken two years ago, when I took the worst beating of my whole 15 years. The black and blue bruises that covered most of my body, the fresh blood on my collarbone and split lip. To the waif, fragile beaten arms I had wrapped around my torso as I vacantly glanced up at the police officer who took this photo of me that I was now staring at. As memories continued to assail me, the worst part of that entire day, suddenly reinstates itself like it was only yesterday. After the full day of questioning from the officers, I was sent back home to where the damage had occurred. Because they had no proof of who did that to me. And I had learnt my entire life, that blood was everything to my father and any consequence would be far worse than me feeling like I could trust anyone. It had never worked out for me before. Not for my first-grade teacher, and not for the kind shop assistant at the local store. So, I said nothing. I told them - nothing. They simply left me with a card to call when I was ready to talk before sending me back with the monster who caused that destruction on my body and on my soul. And it was some of that destruction that I was now looking at on Tuckers phone. All of a sudden it was like the Academy wasn’t far enough away from my old life. It had caught me somehow… Somehow – even though I left without a word and a different name - my father still had power over me. Hendrix James, suddenly didn’t exist anymore. Just like she never had.
My eyes moved from Tuckers to roam the room once more, and it was now obvious that their eyes were on me. It wasn’t a stretch to know that they too, got the same picture sent to them that Tucker had. How or why this was happening was so far from my mind, that when all I could think about was that the hope and independence I came with here, felt crushed within a single moment. When the first tear fell, my eyes sought him for the first time since I came in here. And I couldn’t deny the daggers that were staring at me, or the hurt expression that was accompanying it. What I did deny though, was why Paxton Reed would even care anyway after yesterdays display.
Or the worse thought that maybe he was behind this somehow as well…?
Chapter Thirty-Two
Paxton
Between my teeth, my jaw and my fists by my sides – my entire body was coiled tight. Like a cobra ready to strike. I saw Hendrix stroll in here the minute she stepped foot in the cafeteria. It’s like I can sense her without even seeing her. Like that night at my football match, I just knew she was there. What I didn’t like seeing though, was Tucker still poking his head where it definitely didn’t belong. I didn’t like it before, and I sure as shit didn’t like it now. Regardless of what everyone thought was going on – I was the only person who knew the entire truth. A truth, I was biding my time to finally let free. But I was running out of time, and I was getting desperate now. I’d almost do anything to get this plan underway to have Hendrix look at me with anything other than hatred. Or worse yet… disappointment.
“Hey Pax what’s got your panties in a twist?” Banks goads as he takes the seat opposite, joining Austin and I.
“Just leave it Banks,” I snap.
“Woah calm down tiger. You may need to get some diversity Pax, considering you aren’t even hitched to Amber yet and her pond is already drying up for you.”
My eyes narrowed toward my friend. “What did you just say?”
“You know, your fiancée…?”
I reached toward him so fast, that one minute he was smiling and the next he looked terrified. My hand was scrunched in his tee, his fries scattered across the table as I leant over him. “What the fuck have you been saying?”
“Pax bro. Nothing. Fuck man, nothing. I was screwing around with Casey last night and she said you and her girl were engaged.”
I tossed him back down, and sought Hendrix once more, who was now sitting nestled too close to Tucker as he cradled her face like he fucking owned her.
“Fucking Tucker,” I grinded under my breath, so only Austin could hear me.
“Pax, you’ve made your bed. Just leave her alone.” I glanced
at my friend who was still pissed as hell with me. I filled him in on everything between Amber and my father, and whilst he understood the world we lived in – it was the first time he disagreed with what I’d done. He didn’t like that I had to hurt Hendrix to do what I did. I fucking didn’t like it either. But I had no choice…
I didn’t.
I couldn’t risk her future here, and who knows what Amber would do with the information about her if I didn’t play the part well. I’d run out of time. I had my mother safe for now, but the Hendrix situation was more than tricky. I had no other fucking choice but to publically show Amber and my father, that she means nothing. It means she’s safe here now, and the life she craves and the future she strives for is too. And most importantly, she’s still within my reach and as far away from her past as she can be. I may have had to hurt her to keep her safe, but as far as Hendrix and I were concerned – we weren’t over. Not by a longshot.
We hadn’t even gotten started yet.
“Ah, Pax you may want to see this man…” Austin mumbles, flashing his phone at me. And no sooner my eyes connected to the screen that was illuminated in front of me, the fierce need to fucking hit something struck me like lightning.
The photos.
The fucking photos Amber had, had been sent to half the fucking Academy. The photos of Hendrix all beaten and vulnerable were staring up at me from my bestfriends phone, and I didn’t bother looking around to know every other fucker in this room had the exact same view on theirs too. The beast inside me, just erupted. Amber fucking Westwood. She lied. And now, she will be dealt with. No more fucking delays.
“What the fuck man….?” Banks muttered, adding, “New girl got cooked real bad.”
And I was done. I jerked to my feet, my chair screeching across the marble floor, my eyes staring at nothing but her, trying to catch every movement. Her eyes were down on Tuckers phone, his hand had moved to her knee, but she barely noticed. There was a lone tear rolling painfully down her cheek, and slowly, like she could feel my eyes on her - she looked up. I tried to convey so much in that moment. The hurt, the anger, the love….? The thought came as quick as it went, but it hit me. It fucking hit me right in the chest. It didn’t freak me out either, but somehow settled something uncertain in my stomach. That instinct I’d always had to protect her. To care for her the way I know I wanted to. The way I needed to. The way a girl like her deserves to be. And this…
Broken Wing (Arthur Academy Book 1) Page 23
