I watched them as they worked together to get us ready to go, and it was almost beautiful how they interacted as a group. As a team.
I didn’t have a boyfriend, I had my own pack.
They’re almost too good to be true. I mean, if I didn’t have an overdeveloped sense of my own self-worth, I might be intimidated by them. But luckily I do, so I’m pretty confident about them staying interested in me.
I’m always interesting… it’s more an issue of tolerance.
I was so distracted by watching them, and appreciating them for more than just the eye-candy, that it took me a hot second to realize the problem.
“Hey,” I said, and all five of them stopped whatever they were doing to look over to me and smile. Freakin’ cuties!
Luka immediately abandoned Sasha to lope over and give me a soft peck on the mouth before returning to his mock-scowling brother. I felt myself beaming like a— like a besotted girl and ended up sticking my tongue out at a chuckling Spider, before breaking the bad news to them. “Uhh, so change of plans,” I said, shifting in place. Five sets of concerned eyes watched me. “The Callises and Slopes will be separating from us as soon as we’re a minimum safe distance away, so food and supplies need to be split between the two groups. And I have a couple more things I need to fit in somewhere.”
Tai straightened up, brow furrowed, then he and Sasha exchanged glances. “Something happen, sunshine?”
“Nope,” I said, popping the P. “They have their own things to do, places to go. People to meet. Uhh, lands to conquer? Enemies to crush?”
“Foes to drive before them, and lamentations of their women to listen to?” Sev asked, and I nodded. As usual, he got me.
“Yes. All that. So I’m not sure how hard it will be to separate things out for them, but they probably just need food, their weapons—”
“We got it, Az,” Sasha assured me. “We actually considered they might separate out when we started going through everything, it won’t take much longer to redistribute a few things.”
“Make sure we’ve got food for a couple days and ammunition, but I don’t think we’ll need much else,” Jason said from behind me — I hadn’t even heard him approach, and I jumped, flinching away. He grabbed my elbow lightly, steadying me, and when our eyes met, I wasn’t imagining the regret there.
As pissed and hurt as I was by their betrayal, I wasn’t going to forget that he’d always been sweet to me. Obnoxious, but sweet. I smiled at him, letting him see my own regret, and it didn’t seem to give him the comfort I thought it would. If anything, he just looked sadder.
“Not a problem,” Luka said cheerfully, not at all upset to hear about the impending separation — in fact, he’d never been more agreeable or accommodating with them. I shot him a glare and he grinned, shrugging.
“Are we good to go then?” Jason’s voice was pitched low, addressing only me. I nodded, and he nodded back before turning away. “I’ll go get the others.”
I caught his hand as it slid off my arm and gripped it lightly. He looked back with a soft smile and gentle squeeze, then dropped my hand and disappeared down the hallway and around a corner.
Fucking hell, I was becoming an overemotional wreck. I reabsorbed my ridiculous tears by sheer force of will, tucked the feels away in a remote cupboard in my mind palace, slamming the door on them.
I had five boyfriends. That was more than enough, even for my hoarder ass.
Once I had my shit under control, I turned back around to find all five of them watching me. “You okay?” Sev asked, taking a hesitant step forward.
I nodded, waving my hand in a dismissive sweep. “I’m overtired, sick with anxiety, scared to death, convinced I’ve left everyone in the town to die, worried about Mouse, and pissed off at my foster parents. I’m doing great!” I grimaced, rolling my eyes.
“C’mere.” Sasha did that chin-tilt thing that hot guys do that make girls want to obey whatever they say, and I was moving towards him before I even realized what I’d been reduced to. I tried telling myself that I’m my own person and can make my own decisions, but all that nonsense was wiped right out of my forebrain as his arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. “Telling you everything is going to be fine is unworthy of you. All I can say is that you aren’t alone, babydoll. Not anymore or ever again.”
Why would I ever want to resist this? I sank into Sasha and nodded, scraping my cheek against his chest. It didn’t take away any of the shit weighing me down, but it made me feel stronger. More capable.
Like I leveled up.
Sasha
My beautiful girl.
She was so full of shit but she was getting a free pass this time.
It was fucking obvious that something happened with the Callis twats, and her deflection was remarkably half-hearted, but I really only cared if it was going to disrupt things between her and us and that seemed unlikely at this point.
Those fucks didn’t stand a chance.
Luka let me know what went down between them — Spider joining in without hesitation — and how it didn’t even faze Azzie to hook up with either or both of them. There’d been some speculation among us as to whether she’d be shy once clothes started coming off, but Luka said she was a goddamn sex goddess, demanding he service her, and I popped a semi- picturing it.
Yeah, things were fine. She was ours, and they’d be leaving as quickly as we could send them packing, and all was good.
Once we got outside, we’d use the sat phone to contact Justice, and he’d be on his way. We had three days to get to the new rendezvous point we were going to propose before they started looking for us — a really bad idea — but if the area maps hanging up in the library were correct, it was only around forty miles from here to there. We’d have to walk most of the way — if we could even find a vehicle, it would be way too easy to track a lone one on these empty, rural roads and once the base was actively searching for us, they’d go back and look for that first. But even if one of us needed to carry Azzie the whole way, that distance on foot was doable.
“Az, we need to leave the glassware,” Tai broke the relative silence of my extended hug with Azzie while they finished shuffling supplies around, and she lifted her head away from my chest and out from under my chin. “It’s a whole bag in itself, and I doubt any of it will survive the trip. We’ll be able to find this stuff out there, I promise.”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” she heaved out an exhausted sigh, and I tilted my head towards her and kissed her forehead.
“We can always order whatever you need, have it shipped to the compound,” I assured her, and she looked up at me, startled.
“Really? I— huh.” She stared off into space, a little wrinkle forming between her brows.
“You were picturing some kind of frontier wasteland, weren’t you? Is that why we’re bringing five boxes of band-aids? You know there’s still stores out there — maybe not a whole lot of them, and maybe not fully stocked all the time, but things are still getting made and sold.” I couldn’t help it, there was a rumble of laughter underneath as I watched the range of emotions passing over her face, settling on an adorable combination of embarrassed and stubborn.
“There are five boxes of different sizes of bandages because I go through a lot of them, every fucking paper cut needs a band-aid… but yes, okay? I was picturing a post-apocalyptic wasteland of abandoned houses and buildings with boarded up windows. Gutted vehicles. Anything open would have bars over the windows, and plexiglass barriers between the clerks and the people… I thought the whole world was pre-pandemic Detroit!”
“Well, actually…” Sev looked around. We all shrugged and nodded. “That’s pretty much what it is like out there, most places. Cities on the coasts still have other stuff going on, but most of the interior places are pretty close to what you just described. Which is kind of crazy to realize the whole world is Detroit now. But at least you have context, right?” He chuckled lamely, grimacing.
“Weird,” she whispered
, pondering that. “No wonder Salem freaked you guys out at first. I was born in Detroit, and we had relatives there that we used to visit a couple times a year growing up, and it was always so depressing. Like the city was a garden and some of the vegetables and flowers were still alive and blooming, but those parts were isolated and surrounded by choking weeds and dead plants.”
“Yup,” Spider nodded, pursing his lips. “Welcome to 2027 America. Detroit as far as the eye can see.”
“Could be worse, amirite?” Luka chuckled, eyes darting around. “Could be Flint!”
“If they’ve weaponized Janus, it is Flint,” Azzie frowned.
Sev stood up and cracked his back, shaking his head. “It’s Barovia, Azzie. The entire country. Everything you know about the Strahd campaign is relevant and the only exception is that, at least for now, the roads are way more dangerous than the forest. Just treat out there like Barovia, and you’ll be fine.”
“I wish I knew anything you were talking about,” Spider said, watching Azzie nod at Sev with a confidence like all that made perfect sense to her.
“Maybe it’s time we learned,” I glanced over at Luka, and he was nodding.
D&D had always been Sev’s thing that he did with our cousin, not really appealing to either of us, but this secret language he seemed to share with Azzie was more incentive than I could pass up. I wanted to know what they were talking about, all the times they seemed to speak in code to each other, and if it meant embracing my inner nerd? Well, that was a small price to pay.
“Quick,” Sev hissed at her, eyes darting around. “Go grab the book and some dice — I’ve got the core rulebooks—”
“It’s already taken care of,” Azzie interrupted, smiling benignly. “I’m always thinking ahead, Sev. Planning. Plotting. Like any good DM.”
He raised an eyebrow, flashing her a calculating look. “Oh?”
“Yup. I was planning on trading sexual favors for game time,” she stated baldly, looking at each of us. “This is a built-in gaming group right here, the perfect number of people and always in the same place together, right? Think I’m going to let that opportunity escape me? Fuck that shit. Priorities. I’ll make it worth your time to give it a try, learn the basics — I’m talking dealer’s choice type activities, not just whatever our normal relationships play out as. I’m even willing to consider butt stuff if you’re down for a whole campaign…” She trailed off, grinning evilly as Luka gasped and Tai began to cough. Sev was laughing so hard he was wheezing.
I bit my lip, staring intently at the manipulative, diabolical little temptress I held in my arms, the little thing that was wrapping us tighter and tighter around her fingers every fucking day. Deep down, I was jumping around in glee like a tween girl at a BTS concert, secretly thrilled by this being a bonus on top of our normal relationships. Fucking perfect girl, right here. “You’re on, babydoll,” I growled at her, “and start planning out your campaign because I aim to collect.”
“Challenge. Accepted.” She tilted her chin up, and kissed me rough, biting my lip and tugging it, and my semi- went from six p.m. to midnight.
“Is now a good time to mention that I grabbed a few sets of dice at the game store for Sasha and me?” Luka asked innocently, the little snitch. I glared at him, startled back to looking at Azzie when she nipped my chin then gestured for me to lean down.
“I saw him, at the store,” she whispered in my ear so only I could hear. “So consider why I’d incentivize something I knew you were already willing to do? Maybe we’re both curious, in our own ways. Maybe I’d like to know what your dealer’s choice is. Start planning your campaign because I aim to collect.”
“I love you like a zombie loves brains,” I whispered back, ready to put a ring on it in that moment.
“Well I love you like a junkie loves blow. You know it’s wrong, you know the things you’re planning to do for it are immoral and possibly illegal, and you give no fucks because you want it so bad you’re shaking.” She followed that up with another nip to my earlobe and I was done. I tightened my arms and picked her up, carrying her out of the room and looking for a little privacy anywhere in this fucking maze, but she was alternately giggling and licking at my ear and could barely get directions out. We ended up in an empty bedroom with all the furniture covered in sheets, and I turned and pinned her up against the door.
“We have maybe five minutes,” she warned me, “we have to leave during a shift change—”
“Shut up,” I commanded, hiking her up so her legs were wrapped around me, and I ground down into her until she gasped. “Five minutes, got it,” I conceded, then proceeded to devour her mouth, dry-humping her against that door until we were both panting. I fought her belt buckle, wishing she was in some less-restrictive leggings, and her hand fell on mine, stilling it.
“Sasha, we’re out of time,” she said, desperation at war with her anxiety over our exit. “We really can’t and I want to so bad but—”
I kissed her again, softer this time, and released her belt. Her legs fell away from me, and I took a minute to help her straighten our clothes, my raging hard-on fading quickly given the circumstances. “We’re going to have plenty of time,” I reassured her when I noticed she was eyeing me with a lot of worry and regret. “I’m not mad, and I hope you aren’t either—?” She shook her head, but it was clear she wasn’t totally convinced, so I backed her against the door again and kissed her long and deep, my tongue tasting every part of her mouth, holding her face with my hands.
Eventually, I retreated, resting my forehead against hers. “I meant it, Azzie, I love you. This is just the beginning of things between us, now get your priorities straight because we have to leave.”
She pushed my head back and stuck her tongue out, then beamed up at me like the sun breaking through the clouds — for a moment, she wasn’t worried or terrified or drowning in anxiety, and anything was worth giving her that. “I love you too, Sasha, for realz. And I’m so pissed I didn’t take advantage of you in my closet when I had a chance. We could’ve had the whole night with a real bed and everything… I’m an idiot.”
“Neither one of us was ready that night,” I confessed to her. “Sure, I would’ve drilled you into that mattress until you couldn’t walk the next day, but it took having to leave you in that tunnel to realize— this is more, Azzie. This is everything.”
She slid up onto her tiptoes, a hand on the back of my head dragging me down to her, and kissed me with as much heat and possession as I’d just claimed her mouth. “This is everything,” she agreed. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here so I can bone you in the woods far away from this place.”
“Goddamn poetic,” I purred, and half-led, half-carried her back to my brothers, who’d managed to finish repacking everything. The Callis fucks and Viper Twins were there too, all suited up, and giving Azzie all kinds of shit when we emerged from the hallway with her lips all puffy and bruised, her cheeks abraded by my stubble, and her hair all over the fucking place. She gave them the finger, mumbled something about a bathroom, and disappeared for a few minutes, coming back all put together.
She got her pack in place, checked her watch, and looked around at all of us. “Ready?”
Chapter Twelve
Azzie
“Ready?” I asked, looking around. I was still a little dazed after that rushed make-out session with Sasha, had barely gotten my act together enough to make sure everything was in place and I had my go-bag on my back and Mouse’s in my hand. I’d figure out a better way to carry it once we were on our way — baby bjorn it on my chest, maybe? One-shoulder it like a student?
I realized I’d been staring down at her bag, thinking about Mouse instead of getting us down into the tunnel like we needed to be. I shook it off, and stepped over to the wall, ready to hit the intercom button when Tai stopped me.
“Not quite ready, sunshine,” he said, gently tugging my arm away from the speaker. “One more thing we gotta do.”
“What’s that?
” I asked, looking around in confusion at all the intense — and gleeful? — stares directed at me.
“This,” Luka proclaimed, and the lights cut out, plunging us into darkness.
I immediately began to panic, feeling helpless and disoriented, and since no one else was reacting, my brain told me it was just me. Only my vision that had gone dark.
I was blind again.
Just like that, it was all over, I was blind and I was going to fail in everything I—
With the scrape of the wheel, a lighter sparked and lit up, the flame touching onto the tip of a candle, flaring to life. A candle embedded in a zebra cake.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” Nine voices of varying degrees of quality — from Tai’s Tom Waits-like rumble to Gemma’s slightly off-key warble — proceeded to sing to me for the first time since I turned thirteen. Mouse had tried, once or twice, but I beat that impulse right out of her.
My chest tightened, the familiar ache of loss pressing all the breath out of my lungs.
The last time I celebrated my birthday, it was with my family. My little brothers ate half my cake between them and got stomachaches. My mom hugged me so tight, said she couldn’t believe I was a teenager now, and my dad teared up and had to leave the room. That weekend, we went into Detroit to see my grandparents, and I got to spend time with my awesome cousin, Clementine, and her less-awesome brother, Brennan, who was too cool to hang out with “little girls.”
They’re all dead now. Every one of them.
Everyone except me.
“You gotta blow out the candle,” Gemma nudged me, and I realized the song was over. Maybe had been over for awhile. “You know how to blow, right?” She nudged me again, harder, and giggled.
I squinted my eyes closed as if I was in pain and shook my head. “Nasty bitch.”
“Make a wish, Azzie,” Tai said, and my eyes met his above the burning candle. I saw nothing there but deep compassion and understanding, and felt my eyes sting.
Book of the Lost: AAV-07d25-11: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 3) Page 14
