by Danni Roan
Chapter 4
“Howdy buckaroo,” a teen in a ten-gallon hat greeted Lucas as he and Rainy made their way to the corral. She had spent the morning wandering the grounds with Anne and letting Lucas see as many horses as possible.
“What’s a buckey-roo?” Lucas asked, the gawky teen.
“That’s you. It means a little cowboy around here. Are you ready to ride a pony?”
Lucas nodded enthusiastically but looked back at his mother for assurance. “Can my mom come too?”
“Sure, she can walk alongside you the whole way.”
Rainy smiled, pleased that the young man was so accommodating. Lucas was excited, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous too.
“What’s your name, pardner?” the young man asked. “I’m Jake.”
“My name is Lucas.” The boy followed the teen to a pony that was tied to the corral rail. “What’s the pony’s name?”
“This is Rosie. Do you want to pet her nose?”
Again Lucas nodded, and Rainy felt herself start to relax. As much as she loved Anne, walking the ranch with her constant nattering about handsome cowboys was driving Rainy to distraction. Now she could focus on her boy and enjoy his excitement for everything new while Anne headed back to her room to freshen up.
Rainy smiled as Lucas was lifted onto a speckled pony’s back and shown how to hold onto the saddle horn of the little saddle. His bright grin melted her heart, and she placed her hand behind the saddle to be ready to catch him if he fell.
“I’m a towboy, Mommy!” Lucas grinned his little legs and tiny tennis shoes snug in the stirrups. Her family had been right this was going to be a fabulous vacation where precious memories would be made. Pulling her phone from her pocket, Rainy snapped pictures of her little buckaroo.
***
Nathan headed for the bunkhouse to wash up before taking his break. He had been working in the barn all morning and the mixture of sweat and hay dust was making him itch. It would feel good to have a few minutes of quiet while the other men were out doing various jobs.
As he strode from the barn he could hear the enthusiastic cry of a little boy getting his first pony ride, and his heart twisted in his chest.
Could he have a son or daughter just like that out in the world somewhere? Were they happy, safe, loved?
Nate swallowed hard as all of the fresh emotions he had buried so deep came swarming over him. “God, I’m not strong enough for this. I’m a coward and a cad, but by your grace, I am saved. Help me? Show me what to do?” His whispered prayer was wrenched from his soul as tears prickled behind his eyes. Even if he had the courage to face the sins of the past, he didn’t even know where to begin. If he contacted Rainy’s parents, they would never give him information. They hated him for what he had done, but never as much as he hated himself right now.
The quiet coolness of the bunkhouse washed over Nathan as he stepped into the ancient structure, filling him with peace. Long strides covered the space from the door to his bunk, and he pulled out his comfort, opening the tattered Bible in his hands.
His grandmother had given him this battered old book. It had been his grandfather’s, and it was the loss of that dear old soul that had brought Nathan to his knees. As a teen, rebellious, indulgent, and irresponsible, he had ignored his grandparents' antiquated world view. God, religion, faith; who needed them?
It wasn’t until last year when the finite nature of man struck home on the death of his grandfather that Nate realized his future was not secure. He had nearly finished his education in bioengineering at the University of Wyoming where he had earned a scholarship, but he had never given a thought to his soul.
Slowly the young man stroked the cover of worn leather, his fingers tracing the gold letters of his namesake. Nathan Allen Draper had been named after his grandfather when his own mother had abandoned him at birth disappearing as if she had never existed.
Raised by his grandparents, Nathan had never known his father. It was on his grandfather’s ranch, a small local operation that Nate had learned to work, but he had never given over his soul to a loving and just God.
“Lord, give me wisdom,” Nathan prayed. “Show me your ways. I’m weak and frail. I’ve never known a father’s love. I’ve been displaced, bitter, hurt, and selfish. Help me to overcome my flaws through your grace.” Peace settled around Nathan as he prayed, a quiet that told him he was in the presence of the very creator of the universe.
Closing his eyes, he flipped the bible open, opening his eyes he read the words on the page.
Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows, is God in his holy habitation.” He who numbers the hairs on our head will certainly not turn away from the children living as orphans, and this should inspire us to act.
The words raced over him in a wave of joy, hope, and promise. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to face his past yet, but God was faithful and would guide him into a future when he would be ready to confront his failings.
“Thank you God for your promises,” Nate sighed. “Help my unbelief.”
“Nate are you in here?” Red’s voice echoed from outside the bunkhouse door before the old man even opened it.
“I’m here Red.” Nathan felt his lips twitch into a smile as the old man stepped through the door. Red Dixon had become a surrogate grandpa over the past few months. He had taken Nate in, given him a job, and encouraged his growth as a follower of Christ.
“I need your help,” Red beckoned. “We’re shorthanded for a ride, so I guess we’re going to find out if you remember which side of a saddle is up.”
Nate grinned, it would be nice to hit the trail. He liked his work around the barn, it kept him out of the way of others, but he didn’t mind showing the old man he still had what it took.
“I’m ready,” The young man smiled as a graying red eyebrow shot upward. “Are you riding or are you too old?”
“Why you no good…” Red took a playful swat at Nate as he ducked out the door. “You watch it sunshine, or I’ll sic Nan on you next time you come for Sunday dinner.”
“You win, you win,” Nate laughed waving his hands in surrender as they headed for the barn. “I don’t ever want to be on the wrong side of Nancy. She scares me.”
Red’s sharp bark of laughter made Nate grin. “That woman is the best thing that ever happened to me. The years haven’t always been kind, and me being on the road with the rodeo so much took a toll, but she never let go.”
“You two had struggles?” Nate sounded surprised.
“Everyone has troubles, son.” Red looked up his light eyes dancing. “It’s how we get through them that determines who and what we are on judgment day.”
Nate let Red’s words trickle into his brain as Chase Haven handed him the reins of a leggy chestnut. “You up for riding drag?” the tall, blonde wrangler asked. “Just keep behind and watch for trouble.”
“You got it, boss,” Nate replied, tipping his head. Chase Haven had been a rodeo star a few years ago. One of Wyoming’s best bronc riders he had made a name for himself across the country. Nate still struggled to match the smiling wrangler, husband, and father, with the once volatile rider he had watched competing over the years.
“I see he’s givin’ you the good job again.” Kade Ballard pulled his team of oversized red mules to a stop in the yard while wranglers helped guests climb up onto patient horses.
“Hey Kade,” Nate turned to look at the huge cowboy looking relaxed on the seat of his large, red, antique, freight wagon. “Are you picking up guests?”
“We’re getting a group in soon.” Kade nodded. “I’ll be down there when the van arrives and give everyone a ride back to the house.” One of the mules cocked a hip and sighed impatiently, making Kade chuckle. “I guess these two think they’ve been neglected lately.”
“Is it true your family has kept a draft team at the ranch since it was first founded?” Nate asked curiously as he gauged the time before all the riders were ready.
/> “Not quite that long, but yes. My great-great-great something grandfather arrived here and married one of the original cattleman’s daughters. Hank Ballard had a team of Clydesdales when he took a job here on the Broken J.”
Nate shook his head wondering about traditions and keepsakes. His grandparents had sold the ranch when he was fifteen, moving to a smaller retirement town in Iowa near family. He didn’t have much left from his time on the ranch. What was it like to have roots that went that deep? he wondered. “It’s an interesting tradition,” he finally managed, Kade’s chuckle catching him by surprise.
“That’s only half of it,” the big man’s eyes twinkled. “Every team also bears the name of that original team, Jack and Scott.”
The two mules lifted their heads, standing square and preparing to lean into the highly polished harness.
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. Every single one of them, even these two.”
“Riders Ho!” The call echoed over the line of riders, flanked by wranglers and Nate turned to his horse, struggling to get a foot in the stirrup and swing up in anything resembling a smooth mount. He didn’t bother to look back at Kade who had clicked to his team chuckling as he trotted toward the parking area at the other side of the ranch.
Chapter 5
“Rainy, stop being a pain,” Anne snapped. “Your mom and dad can watch Lucas while we go to town. It’s time you have some fun.”
“Anne we’ve only been here a day, why don’t we wait?” Rainy hedged.
“No, we’re going tonight. Your mom already said she would watch Lucas. She had a long day with that trail ride and just wants to stay home and enjoy a slow supper and early night.”
“Go on honey,” Dana Smythe walked into the room, Lucas riding a stick horse on her heels. “You’re a young woman, go have some fun.”
“I don’t know.” Again Rainy looked at her son who was galloping around their room.
“Grama’s gonna take me for a ride in the big wagon,” Lucas said. “She promised.”
“See, he’s happy,” Dana added. “There’s an easy ride at sunset tonight, and this little man will be asleep by the time we come back.”
“Naha,” Lucas stopped his prancing and glared at his grandmother. “I’m staying awake the whole time.”
“Of course you are.” Dana winked at her daughter. “You and I have a date don’t we Lucas, so your mama can go out with Anne.”
“You can go, Mommy.” The boy turned bright eyes on her. “Bring me candy.”
“See, Rainy, you can go.”
“I’ll bring you a treat,” Rainy agreed, looking at her son. “Now give me a kiss, and you can go with Mimi.”
Lucas pushed his oversized hat back on his head and pecked his mother on the lips. “Giddy-up!” he shouted a second later racing off after his grandmother.
“Now, hair and make-up!” Anne squealed, rubbing her hands together with glee.
Rainy groaned but took a seat, there was no point arguing with Anne. She would get her way sooner or later. Besides, she didn’t need to look like a dowdy mom for her night on the town.
***
Country music blasted as Anne dragged Rainy into the western-themed bar in Tipton.
“It’s loud,” she called pulling her hand from Anne’s.
“Stop fussing,” Anne shouted back. “You need to loosen up. Life’s too short to stay locked up at home all the time.” She flicked her fingers in the direction of a cowboy who grinned at her from a bar stool. “Come on, let’s get a drink.”
Within a half-hour, Anne was dancing with the handsome cowboy while Rainy sat on a stool at the bar nursing a Tom Collins. The music was too loud, the smell of liquor and snacks swam in her head and the long day was quickly catching up with her.
“Can I buy you a drink?” A stocky man slipped into the stool next to her with a smile.
“I’m good.” Rainy lifted her drink in reply.
“Beer,” the man nodded to the bartender. He was a nice enough looking man, but Rainy didn’t feel any attraction for him. “You must be new around here. I’m Joe.”
“Rainy,” she replied politely, as the man was served.
“Would you like to dance?” Joe asked downing half his beer.
“No thanks,” Rainy had no intention of getting out on the floor. Since Nathan had left her alone and scared a few years ago, she hadn’t had any desire to date. She had gone on a couple of blind dates that Anne had set up, but her heart belonged to only one man, her son.
“Rainy, come on!” Anne swarmed the bar, leading her cowboy by the hand. “Come dance with us.”
Rainy downed her drink but said nothing.
“Hey, can you dance?” Anne turned to Joe. “You need to dance,” she turned back to Rainy. “Come on.” Grabbing Rainy’s hand, her oldest friend pulled her out onto the floor Joe on their heels, and soon they were all dancing.
The music wasn’t bad, and Joe was a pretty good dancer, but Rainy’s heart wasn’t in it.
“You visiting at the Broken J?” Joe asked as the music slowed and he twirled her in a slow circle.
“My family is on vacation,” Rainy admitted, surprised when Joe smiled.
“We get a lot of folks here looking for a little nightlife from there. It’s a nice outfit and has been good for the community, but they ain’t big on partying.”
Rainy half-smiled understanding what the man was talking about. The music shifted to a slower song and Joe pulled her into an easy two-step. “I can’t say I’m much into the party scene myself. Anne’s the one who wanted to come out tonight.”
“Aren’t you having a good time?” Joe’s question seemed sincere.
“I guess you could say I’m distracted.”
“Why?”
“My mom and dad are watching my son while I’m out.” Rainy watched as the man’s face fell, and he put a little extra space between them. There it was, the usual response when someone found out she had a kid. It didn’t matter though. She wouldn’t trade those butterfly kisses from Lucas for all the protestations of love from any man.
The song ended and Joe excused himself heading back toward the bar. Rainy, feeling weary, moved to an empty table and ordered a cola. She would give Anne another hour then she was going back to the ranch. Her life was set on a path that had been decided during one night of passion with the only man she had ever loved. It didn’t matter that they had been in high school when they met, she had gone all-in for Nathan, and even now, knowing she would spend the rest of her life raising her son alone, no one held a candle to the feeling she had experienced with the handsome man.
“Didn’t you have any fun at all?” Anne asked as she slipped into the passenger seat of the SUV an hour later. “At least you got to dance a little.”
“I had fun,” Rainy lied. “I’m just tired. Lucas had me up at the break of dawn.”
“Rainy, you have to learn to live again.”
“I live,” Rainy said heading back toward the Broken J. “I just do it differently than you do. I’m not into the dancing and parties. I live to see my son’s smile, to feel him snuggled in my arms when he wakes from his nap. That’s what fills my heart. Now that I’ve finished my degree, I’ll be looking for a better job and maybe a place of my own.”
“You sure grew up fast,” Anne drawled, leaning her head against the headrest. “I’m sorry.”
Rainy was quiet as she turned onto the empty highway leading to the ranch. “I’m not,” she admitted. “I wouldn’t trade Lucas for anything. Maybe I got it all backward, but I’d do it again to have him. I know I made a big mistake falling in love with Nathan in high school. I thought he loved me too, but even with all the pain, heartache, and fear, I wouldn’t trade my son for anything.”
Rainy shot a glance at her oldest friend surprised that she didn’t have a quick retort only to find that Anne was fast asleep. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one not used to late nights and dancing anymore.
Rainy focused on th
e road as she whizzed through the darkness, focusing on her driving in this unfamiliar place as a drizzle of rain started to fall.
“What!” Anne shouted as Rainy slammed on the breaks, the SUV skidding sideways as she narrowly missed a pronghorn crossing the road.
Rainy had stopped shaking by the time they reached the ranch and parked in the lot nearest the road. Closing her eyes, she lifted her sense of thanks into the universe as she rested her head on the steering wheel.
“Rainy, are you sure you’re okay?” Anne asked. Adrenaline seemed to have wiped out any effects of the alcohol she had at the bar.
“I’m fine,” Rainy lifted her head. “I just want to see Lucas and go to bed.”
