by Danni Roan
Rainy gaped at Nathan. He couldn’t be serious. “What about that big job?”
“It’s not important,” Nathan sighed. “What’s important is that I make up for what I did.” A half-smile broke across his face as he continued. “It’s time I ‘cowboy up’, as they say around here.”
“Nathan, we are not getting back together, you know that right.”
“I know,” Nate dropped his gaze. “I just want to prove to you that if you need me, I’m there. I know my grandmother will be glad to see me.”
Rainy smiled, she had always liked Mrs. Draper. The old woman had a big heart and a sharp tongue, but an honest spirit, giving, and true.
“She would like that. I’m afraid she doesn’t know about Lucas,” Rainy added.
“Would you like him to meet her? I can arrange it.”
“I don’t know Nathan. All of this is happening too fast. I have job interviews when I get back, and I’m hoping that in time, I’ll be able to have a place of my own. I can’t live with my parents forever.”
Nathan understood the underlying thread that went with the words. Rainy was a beautiful, loving young woman and some man would scoop her up sooner or later.
“I’ll do whatever I can to help.” Nathan reached out touching Rainy’s arm. “As soon as I get a job, I’ll start paying child support. Whatever you need. I just want the chance to make up for what I did and to get to know my son.”
Rainy studied the man’s face, remembering every line and dimple. “I don’t think saying no would do any good anyway,” she finally said. “You’ll do what you want to.”
Nathan smiled, this time the action lighting his face. “Well, I’m headed home to Iowa no matter what, that’s for sure.” He paused running his hand gently down her arm and remembering the softness of her skin beneath his fingers. “I won’t press you, Rainy. You set the pace. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I know He has a purpose and can use all things for our good.”
Nathan’s words were so sincere, so honest, that Rainy found herself believing every one of them. If only she could have that kind of assurance. If only she could believe.
Chapter 12
Rainy packed her bags slowly, her mind turning over the events of the week and her encounter with Nathan. Folding her clothes and placing them carefully into her bag, she ran through each moment with Nathan, wishing she could as easily fold and pack away her feelings.
Even though Nathan had abandoned her, leaving her to deal with a teenage pregnancy on her own, she still felt the attraction that had always been there. Yes, he had hurt her, but when she looked at him she felt the pull to him again. It was crazy, but the attraction remained. If only Nathan had been there for her, if only he had stayed, they could have had a future.
Lucas galloped into the room on his stick pony, Anne on his heels. “Aren’t you ready yet?” her friend asked. “I know it has been a roller coaster ride being here, but I wouldn’t mind staying another week.”
“You’ve been flirting with every single cowboy you can find.” Rainy rolled her eyes as she started placing Lucas’s clothes into the suitcase.
“Can we stay, Mommy?” Lucas trotted to a stop, pulling on his reins and calling whoa as his new boots stilled.
“No, we have to go home.”
“But I like it here,” Lucas pouted. “I like when Nathan takes us for a ride on the horsies and playing with Kadence.”
Rainy turned, squatting before her son. “I know you have had a nice time,” she smiled placing her hands on his arms. “It has been a wonderful vacation, but we have to go home and Mommy has to go back to work.”
“I wish we could stay here forever,” Lucas groaned, his eyes filling with tears.
“It has been so much fun,” Rainy said. “But that is what a vacation is. When we get home, you’ll be able to play with your other friends.”
“Okay,” the little boy reached out impulsively and hugged his mom. “Can I say good-bye to Nathan?”
“We’ll have dinner with Nathan tonight,” Rainy assured. “Then we have to head home.”
“Where’s my little man?” Owen knocked on the door. “You gonna help me carry the bags? I need a strapping young fellow like you to help out you know.”
“Sure, Poppa. I’ll help.” Lucas handed his mother his stick pony and raced to his grandfather.
“Get your bag, little man,” Owen chuckled. “I’ll take your mother’s bag.”
Rainy snapped the clasps shut and wheeled the bag to her father. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I’ll see you, ladies, at dinner,” Owen grinned, lifting the bag and helping Lucas into his little backpack. “It’s time to roll.”
“You didn’t tell Lucas that Nathan is planning on moving back to Iowa?” Anne shot Rainy an accusatory look. “Do you think that’s fair?”
“Nathan said he’s moving back, that doesn’t mean he will.” Rainy looked around the room checking to see if she had missed anything. The last issue she needed now was to discover they had left Lucas’s favorite toy behind.
“You don’t trust him?” Anne grinned knowingly. “Good, keep it that way.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you are cynical?” Rainy turned glaring at her friend.
“No, but I see the look in your eye every time he’s around. You still care.”
“No, I don’t care,” Rainy insisted peeking under the bed. “I can’t deny that I still find him attractive though.”
“You need a new boyfriend,” Anne said. “Someone who will put Nathan out of your mind for good.”
Rainy pondered the idea. She had been on a few dates but none had that spark that Nathan had. There was just something about him that drew her like a moth to a flame. She hoped that this time, as friends, she wouldn’t get burned.
“Rainy, don’t do anything stupid.” Anne walked up and looked down at her friend. “I know that you and Nathan had something special.” She waved her hand, dispelling Rainy’s arguments. “Even in high school, you two clicked. I don’t believe in love at first sight or any of that nonsense, but I do think that some people mesh. You and Nathan were like that until he left. Just don’t let him break your heart again.”
Rainy looked up at her oldest friend, a million questions zinging through her brain. “I won’t,” she assured hugging Anne tight. “I’ll be careful.”
“You girls ready,” Mrs. Smythe pushed the door open. “I’m starving. It’s been a very nice trip, but I’m ready to get home and sleep in my own bed.”
Rainy grinned. “I know what you mean, Mom. There is so much to do when we get home, but this has been a wonderful adventure.”
Mrs. Smythe zipped her daughter a troubled smile. “It will be good to get back home and back to normal,” she uttered, significantly. “We can get home and away from all these distractions.”
Rainy slipped an arm around her mother’s shoulders. She knew the older woman was speaking of Nathan, and she appreciated the mama bear’s protective instinct, but Rainy could handle Nathan. What she wasn’t so sure about was if she could handle living in the same town with the attractive man who spouted the oddest and most confusing things.
His newfound faith, though obviously important to him, didn’t make a bit of sense to her. She had goals and dreams to grow into, and she didn’t see how a distant god had any influence on her life. If there was a creator, he had long since left the world to turn slowly on its own time, ticking away like a clock maker’s perfectly tuned timepiece.
“Anyone know what’s on the menu tonight?” Anne bounced into step behind the Smythe women. “I could gnaw the hind leg off a mule at this point.”
Rainy and Dana Smythe turned a horrified glare on their friend.
“Sorry, I heard one of the old wranglers say it,” Anne blushed. “I thought I would give it a try.”
“Don’t,” both Rainy and Dana echoed.
***
Nathan joined Mr. Smythe at the table after helping him load the luggage into the SUV
in preparation to leave.
“Nathan, will you come to visit us sometime?” Lucas asked.
“Sure,” Nathan grinned. “I’ll come the next time I’m in town.”
“Can you bring a pony?”
“No, I can’t bring a pony,” Nathan’s laughter drifted over the table. “They aren’t my ponies.”
“Okay,” Lucas sagged. “You can still come to visit though.”
Nathan looked up as Rainy, her mother, and Anne all walked toward them. Rainy looked radiant in her faded jeans and a baggy shirt. No matter how many times he saw her, he was struck by the beauty that hit him square in the heart.
Maybe the young woman wasn’t the classical beauty some pictured in a novel or holiday movie, but she was stunning in his eyes. To Nathan, Rainy was a natural beauty. She seldom fussed with her appearance, and she didn’t need to. As he watched her, Nathan realized that though he had hardened his heart when he turned away from the mother of his child, he still held love for her.
“Lucas, don’t pester Mr. Nathan,” Rainy said flicking a nervous look at the man. “He has a life too you know and can’t be expected to stop everything to visit.”
Nathan felt the bite of her words to his soul and accepted them. “I’ll do my best,” he said meeting her eyes and willing her to hear the promise in each syllable.
Tonight was their last night together here at the Broken J, and he wanted to keep things light and fun.
The family-style meal arrived and for several moments everyone busied themselves filling their plates with tender pot-roast, bright vegetables, and rolls. “What’s next for you?” Owen Smythe looked up at Nathan expectantly. “I know you have some new plans.” Beside him, Dana gave her husband a hard look but turned her attention to her meal.
“I’m finishing out the month here,” Nathan said, “then I have a few interviews back home.” He was careful not to mention his move, still uncertain what Rainy had told her family. “It’s time I settle in and take responsibility for my life.”
The words hung in the air, a challenge to the doubts, and condemnation of his audience.
“I hope it works out for you,” Owen nodded, his eyes flicking to Rainy then back to his plate. “Life isn’t always easy.”
“No sir,” Nathan agreed. “We all make mistakes, circumstances change, and hard times come, but if we put our faith in the maker of it all, we can find hope.”
The rest of the meal was filled with small talk, chatter about the stay at the ranch, and the long trek ahead. Once coffee and dessert were served, the family stood to go.
“Rainy,” Nathan spoke softly so only she would hear. “This is my number if you need anything.” He handed off a slip of paper, his fingers lingering on hers. “Please, call if you need to.”
Rainy looked down to where their hands met, emotions rolling through her like a storm. She was a fool for letting him have such sway over her, but it was still there. That magnetic connection that drew them together. “Thanks,” she managed, moving away and tucking the note in her pocket. “Good-bye, Nathan.”
Nathan watched Rainy lift, Lucas, on to her hip feeling his heart traipse toward the door with her. He smiled and waved when the little boy looked back with a grin.
“Bye, Nat’an.”
“Well God,” Nathan drawled. “That went better than I expected, so why do I feel like there’s a great big hole inside me?” Turning he headed out the door for the barn and the quiet of the night. “Protect them as they travel,” he added disappearing into the falling darkness.
Chapter 13
Two weeks. How could so much change in two short weeks? Nathan lifted the grocery bags in his hand and headed up the stairs of his grandmother’s apartment.
He had been shocked to see the changes in the woman who had raised him. She seemed to have aged drastically in the months since his grandfather had passed.
“Gram, I’m back,” he called poking his head into the living area, pleased when her face lit up at the sight of him.
“Did you get everything on the list?” The little old woman called, her dark eyes sparkling.
“I did. How about I make us some lunch?”
“It’s already made,” Gram Draper called pushing herself from her chair and following him to the kitchen.
“Gram, you don’t need to cook for me,” Nathan grumbled. “I didn’t come here for you to take care of me.”
“I know why you came here,” Miriam Draper met his gaze. “I like cooking for you. You don’t know how hard it is to cook for just one person all the time.”
Nathan placed the grocery bags on the table and leaned over to kiss his grandmother’s weathered cheek. “I’m glad I’m back,” he said.
“How did the job hunting go?” Gram asked moving to the refrigerator and pulling out a bowl of chicken salad.
“Both interviews went well,” Nathan admitted. “I don’t know what comes next, but for now the feed store is happy to have me work for them on a temporary basis.”
“It will all come together,” Gram smiled as she sliced two croissants and piled them with the chicken mixture. “Grab me a soda,” she continued.
Nathan put the refrigerated items into the tall white fridge and grabbed two sodas. He had been surprised at how easy it had been to slip back into life with his grandmother, but he felt, keenly, the absence of his steady, faith-filled grandfather. It would take time to adjust to this new life, but his heart was full of hope.
“Have you seen Rainy since you got back?” Gram asked innocently as they sat down at the small, round, wooden table.
Nathan shook his head. “No, but I’m planning on going over this weekend. I know she had a lot of things to do when she got home.”
“I’m glad you came home,” Gram said again. “I believe God has brought you here for a very special reason, and that He will guide you.”
“I never understood your faith before,” Nathan sighed as his grandmother fumbled for his hand. “All these years I spent holding on to my own wisdom, and the answers were right there in front of me.”
“God works all things out in his own time.” Miriam smiled.
***
Saturday night found Nathan standing in front of the Smythe’s home, a bundle of flowers in one hand and a stuffed pony under his arm.
“I’m already sweatin’ Lord and I haven’t even knocked yet. I could use some courage.” Part of him wanted to run away, and the other wanted to bust through the door claiming the family that he never should have left behind.
Closing his eyes and sucking in a deep breath, Nathan lifted his hand and rapped soundly on the door.
“Oh, it’s you,” Anne snapped as she pulled the door wide. “I guess you can come in.”
“Nice to see you too, Anne,” Nathan growled, pushing his annoyance deep inside. He knew that whatever abuse Anne and the Smythes dished out he had earned. Making up for past mistakes would take time.
“Mr. Nat’an!” Lucas rushed over a wide grin on his little face. “Is that for me?” A pudgy hand pointed at the brown and white toy under Nathan’s arm.
“It sure is buckaroo,” Nate said, handing the stuffed pony to the boy. “Do you like it?”
“It’s not a real pony, but I like it.” He hugged the plush animal tight then raced toward the back of the house. “Mommy, Mr. Na’tan is here!”
“Hello,” Rainy appeared a few moments later, a dishtowel over one shoulder of her faded blue tee.
“These are for you.” Nathan shoved the flowers toward her feeling like every kind of a fool. He had known it would be difficult stepping through this door, but he hadn’t expected to feel like a complete dolt. He had been in this house hundreds of times, but this time everything was different.
“Come on in,” Rainy offered. “We were just cleaning up dinner.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine.” Rainy looked up meeting Nathan’s dark eyes. “You really came.”
“I’m all settled with Gra
m.” Nathan followed her into the familiar living room, taking the seat she offered as she placed the flowers on the coffee table. “She’s glad to have me home.”
Rainy studied Nathan’s face for several moments then nodded. “This year has been hard on her.”
Nathan felt his face flush. “I should have come home earlier.” His eyes begged Rainy to understand all those few words meant.
“So what will you do now that you’re back in town?” Rainy pulled the dishtowel from her shoulder, wringing it between nervous hands.
“I’m working at the feed store at the moment, but I had two interviews today.”
“You really plan on staying?”
Nathan swallowed hard shifting to look Rainy fully in the face. “I do,” he said. “I don’t expect anything from you Rainy, just the chance to make up for my poor choices and to get to know Lucas.”
Rainy bit her lip letting the words wash over her. She knew she shouldn’t trust Nathan, she should doubt every word that fell from his lips, and yet she didn’t. She wanted to believe him. “I’ll do my best.”
Nathan’s smile zipped straight to Rainy’s heart, and she returned it believing something good had just happened.
“Mommy, can I have more pie?” Lucas arrived in the living room his new pony grasped in his arms.
