Donna: U could come here.
Me: I can't. We plan to get in the studio while we're home. Get a jump start on the next album.
Donna: Oh. Ok. Enjoy your 3 weeks off.
Me: Yeah. Talk 2 u later.
Donna: I love u Cory.
Me: I love u 2.
Cory smirked as he read over their last text exchange for the hundredth time. This is what they had been reduced to since his failed surprise visit two weeks ago. Texting. They never texted. But for the last two weeks, their sparse phone conversations had been so tense and awkward. Texting just seemed easier for now. You couldn't really argue over a text message. Couldn't see the hurt in someone's eyes or hear the tears or the bitterness in their voice over a text. It was just words on a screen, no real feelings to deal with or to hurt further. No pressure. No emotion.
Cory sighed as he tossed his phone aside. It had been days since he had actually heard her voice and he missed it. He missed her. He missed the way they used to be. He thought about calling her, but why put himself through it? He didn't feel like talking to her assistant, and if Donna was even able to come to the phone, it would only be a bunch of awkward silences as they both struggled to find something meaningful to say.
Where the hell had they gone? What the hell had happened to them? Where was that happy, fun-loving, carefree girl he had married? Where did she go? It was like she had disappeared into thin air and taken all of their hopes and dreams with her wherever she had run off to, and Cory just didn't recognize the imposter who was left in her place. Who was this girl so hell bent on starting a movie career at all cost? Where had she come from, and where had his beautiful TV star gone?
He ran his hands through his short, spiked hair as he climbed out of the bed and headed into the bathroom. The band had been back home for a few days now and Cory had spent most of that time in bed with the covers pulled up over his head. He just didn't feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. He was even ignoring the phone calls from his mom and his sisters. They would leave messages and he would text them back, telling them that he was fine, just really busy with Jagged Ivory business. He hated lying to them, but he just simply didn't want to be bothered with their concerned expressions and their probing questions about him and Donna, and their well-meaning advice. It had been bad enough trying to reassure Noah that he was fine.
Crap! Noah. Cory sighed once more as he remembered his promise to Noah that he would come to dinner that evening. Fuck! Leaving the comfort and relative security of his bedroom was the very last thing he wanted to do right now. He wanted to just climb back into the bed and sleep his problems away. Maybe even with a little help from his friend Jim Beam. Now that sounded like his idea of dinner tonight!
Glancing over at the clock in the bathroom as he relieved himself, Cory saw that it would soon be time to head over to his friend's house, and he thought frantically about ways to get out of it. What would be a good excuse to use? As he flushed the toilet and stood washing his hands, he heard his phone ringing in the other room where he'd left it. He quickly dried his hands off and then ventured into the bedroom to retrieve it. Picking it up he saw that it was Noah on the caller ID, and he rolled his eyes as he answered it.
“Yeah?”
“Don't even think about trying to get out of dinner tonight, bitch,” Noah said with a light, jovial tone, and Cory smiled in spite of himself.
“I'm not. I'm … just getting ready to step into the shower,” he lied. “And I'm telling you right now … Mercy better be a good cook, 'cause if the food is nasty I'm kicking your ass for getting me outta bed for nothing.”
Noah laughed out loud at his comment. “Just get your ass over here, man.”
“Alright,” Cory sighed. They hung up the phone then, and Cory muttered four letter words under his breath as he went back into the bathroom and started up the shower.
*****
Donna could feel the butterflies in her stomach as the house came into view and the car pulled to a stop in the circular driveway outside the front door. Part of her didn't want to get out of the car. She wanted to just tell the driver to keep going. To take her back to the airport and let her get as far away from this coming confrontation as she could get. But she knew that she couldn't do that. She had to get out of the car. She had to do what she had come home to do.
She knew that she and Cory needed to talk. They needed to clear the air and to try and figure out if they could salvage things. To talk about what went wrong and whether or not they believed they could fix it. Or even if they wanted to fix it. And they had to talk about the baby. She still hadn't told him about the baby. And if they couldn't fix what was wrong between them, Donna wasn't sure if she would tell him she was pregnant at all. And she knew that she was running out of time. The longer she waited to see if she and Cory could patch things up, the smaller her window of opportunity became. She had no desire to be a single mother. They were either going to be a family or nothing at all.
Carrying her small suitcase, she let herself into the house and softly closed the door behind her. Looking around as she stepped further into the bright, sunny room, she suddenly felt a pang of melancholy. The house seemed so still and forlorn in a way. As if it missed happier days as much as she did. She walked slowly through the living room and turned to go down the hall toward the bedroom, lightly running her hand over the back of the pale blue sofa as she went.
As she neared the bedroom she wondered if Cory was even home, the place seemed so quiet and empty. But when she entered the bedroom, the light was on, and her heartbeat quickened a pace as the rush of anticipation pumped her blood throughout her body. Her belly dropped and rolled a little at the realization that she was about to come face to face with her estranged husband.
Without warning or preamble, he stepped out of the large walk-in closet, pulling a belt through the loops of his jeans. And as he worked to fasten the buckle, his fingers suddenly froze as he looked up and stared into her eyes.
“Donna?” he said softly, his brow touched with the trace of a frown. Was she really here?
“Hi,” she said, just as softly.
Cory's heart kicked into overdrive at the sound of her voice. It was so sweet, and he had missed it so much. He wanted to run to her and take her into his arms and hold her close. But something prevented him from doing that. His feet suddenly felt heavy as anvils, and he couldn't make himself approach her.
“What are …” He stopped and cleared his throat nervously before trying again. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice somewhat disbelieving.
Donna shrugged her shoulders. “I live here. And I begged for a couple of days so that I could come home and see you.”
Cory didn't know what to say. Anxiously, he finished fastening the buckle of his belt as he moved slowly over to the bed. He picked up his phone and placed it into his pocket. Then he stood with his hands on his hips as he looked at her.
“You, uh … you should have let me know you were coming,” he said quietly. “I have dinner plans.”
“Oh.” Donna was taken aback at his response. Was he for real? Was this some sort of childish payback for what happened the last time they had seen each other? Would he be that petty? “I'm sorry. I don't mean to ruin you plans. But I really think we need to talk, don't you?”
Cory shook his head slightly at her question. “Honestly, I don't know if that's a good idea or not, Donna.”
“How could it not be a good idea for us to talk, Cory? We have so much to talk about,” she said in frustration. “I don't know what your dinner plans are but, don't you think this is more important?”
“I had no idea you were coming home,” he answered, looking at her pointedly. “I was invited to dinner at Noah and Mercy's and I'm going. And no, I don't think we need to talk. Not if all we're going to do is end up bickering about making movies and tour schedules and whose career is more important.” He stared at her for a moment before he added, “Aren't you tired of being on edge all the time? Aren't you tired
of the constant knot in your stomach, Donna? Because I know I sure as hell am! I don't want to argue anymore.”
Donna felt the lump in her throat triple in size as she fought to keep the tears from falling. “I don't want to argue either, Cory. Do you know what I do want?”
“No,” he answered with an emphatic shake of his head, trying to keep his own tears at bay. “I used to think I did. I used to think we wanted the same things, but … I have no fucking clue what you want anymore. Do you?”
Donna smiled slightly at his words and shook her head. “Right now, what I want most is just to spend some time with you. Hanging out. Having fun together, like we used to. I miss laughing with you. I miss just being with you. I miss my best friend. I miss you,” she said as the tears hit her cheeks. And she wiped them quickly away with her fingers.
As usual, her tears cut right though all his defenses, rendering his walls useless. “I miss you too, Donna,” he said quietly. “I miss you so much.”
“Then can't we please just … spend some time together?” she asked tearfully. “I don't care what we do. I just want to spend some time with you. Please.”
Cory stared at her for a moment, wondering where she was going with this and trying to imagine how the night might play out if he agreed to spend the evening talking with her. In his mind, they needed to ease into this or tonight would only end like all the others. In another argument.
“Donna, why don't you go freshen up? You can come with me to dinner.”
“Cory, I don't want to see anyone else.”
“And I don't want us to stay here and fight all night long,” he replied. “You said you wanted to hang out with me and have some fun, like we used to. So let's go hang out. We won't talk about movies or babies or any other hot button issues. We'll just visit with our friends and have some fun. No pressure.”
“But I don't want to be around a lot of people,” she protested.
“What people?” he shrugged. “It's just Noah and Mercy. This isn't a party, Donna. It's just dinner with my buddy and his girl. We've done this dozens of times; you have fun with Mercy, right?”
“Okay,” she said, finally giving in. This is not how she had envisioned the evening going. But if it took some of the pressure off for him, maybe it would be okay. She opened up her suitcase and pulled out her makeup bag, taking it into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. And as she stood at the double vanity, washing her face, she replayed the scene over in her head. It dawned on her that Cory hadn't kissed her. He hadn't even hugged her. He hadn't touched her the last time she had seen him either, when he showed up in Toronto. How long had it been since she had actually felt her husband's arms around her or tasted his kiss? Donna couldn't remember. And that knowledge tore her up inside. The tears came without warning then, and she cried for what seemed like the longest time as she stood in the bathroom trying to pull herself together.
*****
“You're late,” Noah joked, trying to hide his smile as he opened the door. “We were getting ready to eat without you!” His tone was playfully harsh, but he really didn't care that Cory was late. He was just happy his friend had pulled himself out of bed and come at all. He knew that Cory was falling into depression over the situation with Donna, and it worried him.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Cory offered as he stood at the door. “But I uh … I got waylaid.”
“What?”
Cory glanced to his left, prompting Noah to turn to see what he was talking about, just as Donna finally joined them in the doorway.
“Hey!” Noah's voice was surprised as she stepped into the house. “Look who's home,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “What are you doing here? Cory didn't say anything about you coming home.”
“Well, he didn't know,” Donna smiled as she returned his friendly hug.
“Well, get in here,” Noah said. Then he turned to Cory, giving him a what-are-you-doing-here look. And he frowned when Cory skillfully avoided his eyes. “Hey Mercy,” he shouted towards the kitchen. “You might want to set another place, babe!”
“Why?” came her annoyed response. “Which stray did Cory bring with him? Don't tell me, it's Buzzy, right? Or Otis?” She emerged from the kitchen with potholders in her hands, and her eyes lit up when she saw Donna.
“Sorry, I'm the stray,” Donna smiled.
“Oh, my gosh! I didn't know you were home,” she said as she gave her a big bear hug. “Noah didn't tell me you were coming!”
“Noah just found out, same as you,” Donna said.
“Donna surprised me as I was on my way out the door,” Cory explained. “So I asked her to come with me. I knew you wouldn't mind.”
“Of course we don't mind,” Mercy smiled. “I'm happy to see you! And just for the record … I wouldn't have minded Buzzy or Otis either. But Donna has better table manners!”
They all laughed slightly at her comment as the girls headed into the kitchen. And when they were gone, Noah turned to Cory with raised eyebrows, asking a silent question.
“What, man?” Cory asked with a frustrated sigh.
“What do you mean, 'what'? What are you doing here, man?” Noah asked, trying to keep his voice down so the girls didn't hear them. “Donna obviously came home to surprise you! Why aren't you at home … you know … reuniting!”
Cory smirked at Noah's choice of words, but he knew what he was hinting at. “Because it's not that simple, man. I told you how we left things in Toronto. Since then, things have only gotten worse. We can barely talk anymore. Until she showed up here today, I couldn't even tell you when the last time I actually heard my wife's voice was. We communicate through text these days.”
“I'm sorry, Cory, but if you ask me, that's all the more reason why you should be somewhere alone. So that you can talk about things.”
“I'm sick of talking about things, Noah,” Cory said quietly. “Every conversation turns into an argument or a misunderstanding, or hurt feelings. I'm just tired of it, man. I was hoping we could come here and just hang out, you know? Just chill with no pressure.”
“Cory, you're welcome to hang out here, you know that. But, man … you two are going to have to talk about your problems eventually. They are never going to go away if you don't.”
Cory nodded his head slowly. He knew that Noah was right. And maybe it was a mistake coming here instead of staying home and trying, yet again, to deal with their problems head on. But Cory was being honest when he said he was tired of the constant argument. He had said the same to Donna. He didn't want to argue anymore. He wanted the relentless ache to go away. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. And he was beginning to wonder if they ever could.
When they sat down to dinner, they all tried to keep the conversation lightweight and fun. And Noah could sense that Mercy had had her own discussion with Donna while the two of them were in the kitchen because she seemed to be his partner in keeping the lighthearted chatter moving smoothly. Several times throughout their meal, Noah and Mercy would make eye contact, each of them knowing instinctively what the other was trying to say as they guided the conversation and tried to pull their friends into some semblance of normalcy.
“Uh, so Donna,” Mercy asked innocently, “what is it like doing your own stunts? I've always wondered that?”
Donna glanced nervously across the table at Cory. She didn't want to talk about the movie in front of him. Not if he was going to get all weird about it. “It's an adventure” she said, answering Mercy. “Although, if I ever make another testosterone-driven action movie, I'll know not to volunteer to do my own stunts again. I've bruised two ribs and dislocated a finger!”
Cory frowned at her response, setting down his fork as he looked at her. “You never told me that.”
Donna's face flushed slightly as she took a sip of her water. “You never asked,” she said quietly.
Cory looked at her with a raised eyebrow as his jaw tightened. “I never asked?” he repeated, his voice way too quiet. “So all those
times when I said, 'how's the filming going,' what did you think that meant?”
“Cory …”
“How many times have I asked you to be careful on the set, and to take care of yourself, Donna?” he asked as his voice rose in frustration. “And you didn't think I would want to know that my wife was seriously injured during filming?”
“I wasn't seriously injured, Cory!”
“I'd call two bruised ribs a serious injury,” he all but yelled, looking at her in bewilderment. “What? You think it's only serious if they're cracked? Would you have told me if you had broken your ribs, Donna?”
“Fine! I didn't tell you because I knew you would overreact,” she shot back. “Just like you're doing right now! Are you happy now?”
Cory laughed bitterly as he looked at her. “Well, so much for our pact to have better communication, huh? That worked out really well. You know, you're doing a great job of not keeping things from me anymore!”
“Cory, those injuries were minor,” she insisted, near tears. “I didn't tell you because it wasn't a big deal. If something had gone seriously wrong, or if I was hurt badly, of course I would have told you! Please don't make an issue of this.”
The rest of their dinner passed by with stagnant, cumbersome conversation provided mostly by Noah and Mercy. And when dessert was served and eaten, everyone was relieved to leave the table. Noah and Cory wandered into the living room while Donna hung back, helping Mercy to clear the table.
They were scraping plates and loading the dishwasher when Mercy said, “Hey Donna, I'm sorry. I feel like that argument before was all my fault. I shouldn't have asked about the movie at all.”
“No, it's not your fault, Mercy. Trust me, he was going to get angry at me over something tonight,” Donna said sadly.
“Donna, I know this is none of my business but … I just don't understand what happened,” Mercy said softly. “I mean you and Cory are so much in love. Where is all this tension coming from?”
The Essential Jagged Ivory (Jagged Ivory Boxed Set) Page 36
