by Lola StVil
“Oh I forgot about that,” Perry says. “She was really quite something, wasn’t she?”
“She really was,” Regal says.
He opens the urn and scatters the gray ashes into the gentle breeze.
“Fly high, sister,” he says quietly.
Langston goes to his side and slips her hand into his. We all stand in a row, our heads bowed, watching Remy’s ashes float away into the sea. It’s exactly what she would have wanted.
“One last chance to catch a wave,” Regal says, his voice catching slightly.
He clears his throat again and straightens his back.
“Okay, let’s get back to the house and see if we can’t find out what happened to Atlas,” he says.
I shoot him a grateful look, but I shake my head.
“You guys go and have drinks, and I’ll look for Atlas. And when I find her, we’ll come and join you,” I say.
I feel bad for thinking they didn’t care about her. Of course they do, but they had to say goodbye to Remy first. It’s what Atlas would have wanted if she had been given a choice in the matter.
“Remy wouldn’t have done that. She’d have wanted to find Atlas,” Regal says.
I can’t argue with that. Remy would have already been scouring the streets by now. If she’s looking down on us, I can imagine she is torn between wanting to laugh at us all forcing down that drink and wanting to shake us all for having this ceremony instead of going to find Atlas right away.
“Kane, you go to the loft, see if you can find anything in her room to suggest where she might have gone. Sadie, you and Pest go to your place and see if she turned up there. Perry and I will go to the bookstore. Regal, you go with Saudia and Tracey to the bar, and we’ll meet you there,” Langston says.
She holds up a hand to ward off Regal’s argument.
“No arguing. Remy would want Atlas found, but she’d also want at least some of us to be getting sloshed in her name,” she says.
“Dammit, Atlas, where the fuck are you?” I demand of her empty room as I stand in the center of it looking around again.
I have searched every drawer, her closet, and every shelf. There is absolutely nothing to suggest where she might have gotten to. I am pinning all of my hopes on her being at the bookstore now. That was always her sanctuary whenever she was down about something. I should have insisted on going there.
I sigh and head for the door. I am going to go and meet up with Langston and Perry at the bookstore. They obviously haven’t found her there, or they would have called, but maybe they found a clue as to her whereabouts. And if they haven’t, maybe I can spot something they missed.
I reach the door and take one last look back around the room. That’s when I see it. A flash of red on the bed almost completely obscured by her comforter. I swallow hard, feeling another swirl of panic as I cross to the bed.
Please don’t let it be blood.
I peel back the blanket reluctantly. It’s not blood, but it’s almost as bad. It’s a small red button. It means there was a struggle and a button was ripped off whatever Atlas was wearing at the time.
I didn’t want to be right about this, but I am. She didn’t wander off somewhere to clear her head. She was taken.
As if Sadie can hear me cursing her out in my mind, the door opens, and she and Pest come in closely followed by the rest of the team.
“She’s gone, Sadie,” I say. “She’s gone. Some fucker took her.”
“Calm down, Kane. We’re all here to help, and we’ll find her,” Sadie says.
I pace the living room anxiously, raking my hands through my hair.
What the fuck is taking so long? Doesn’t she care about Atlas at all? I guess I am alone in this like I’ve been alone in everything until I met Atlas.
“What the fuck did you call all of them for?” I snap.
It’s easier to fixate on that than to think about what happened to Atlas.
“Charming,” Perry says.
I sigh.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…well, Regal should be saying his goodbyes or whatever,” I say. “Not being called back here.”
Regal waves my words away.
“Screw that. I’ve said them a thousand times, and I’ll no doubt say them a thousand times more. What makes you so sure Atlas has been taken?”
“This,” I say, holding out my hand and showing them the button.
“Okay. It’s hardly a smoking gun, Kane,” Perry says.
I glare at him and snatch the button away. I put it in my jeans pocket. I don’t know why. I guess it just makes me feel closer to her somehow. Like this could have been the last thing she touched. I wonder if she was calling my name as they took her. Whoever “they” is. Goddammit, I really let her down. I promised to keep her safe and now look what happened. I never should have left last night. I should have stayed over on the couch or something.
“Maybe it’s not a smoking gun to you, Perry, but that’s because you’re a fucking idiot. This was in Atlas’s bed. It means she’s been taken. Surely none of you actually think she got dressed so violently she tore a button off her own clothes?” I say. “Sadie, I need you to do a locator spell.”
“Kane, you know I can’t do that. We can’t just use those spells to find someone when they want a break from someone,” Sadie says gently.
Her words hurt, but her tone is what hits my last nerve. She’s talking to me like I’m a child having a tantrum. She might as well offer me ice cream to forget about the whole thing.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Sadie? After everything, you still think she ran off to lick her wounds because we had an argument or something? Listen to me. Even aside from the button, nothing else makes sense. You all know Atlas. Is she the sort of girl who would have missed Remy’s funeral because she was pissed off at me?”
No one meets my eye, but finally Regal shakes his head.
“Kane’s right, Sadie. Something’s wrong. Atlas didn’t just take off somewhere to avoid us. It’s not her style at the best of times, but she wouldn’t have just not shown up for me today. I know she would have been here.”
I can hear the slight undertone of desperation in Regal’s voice, and it bothers me. He would rather that she was taken than that she blew him off. I shake my head and then remind myself that it doesn’t matter how we persuade Sadie to do this locator spell, only that we do.
“Look, if we’re wrong about this, and we get to Atlas and she’s fine, you can lay all the blame on me. You can tell her I threatened you or whatever,” I say to Sadie. “Please, just help me find her. Mom.”
I add the mom part on because I know it will touch a part of Sadie’s heart that she can’t resist. She sighs and fixes me with a look that means business.
“Fine. I’ll do it. But if the location is somewhere we recognize as a place she would go of her own accord, then we leave her be. Got it?” Sadie demands.
I nod. I’m not sure I will be able to follow through on the promise, but if it convinces Sadie to act, then I’ll agree to it. For now.
“Give me five minutes,” Sadie says.
She goes through to the kitchen, and I resist the urge to follow her, unlike Pest, who is a mere step behind her.
“I’m sorry, guys. I didn’t think she’d call you all back here,” I say to the team.
“Don’t be silly, Kane. We’re a team. We all need to be here for this,” Langston says.
“Yeah, and if you’re wrong and Atlas just wanted a bit of peace away from you, then we can remind you about this forever,” Perry adds, grinning.
“I don’t doubt it. And I really hope that’s all this is and then you torment me about it at your own risk,” I warn quietly.
“Hey, she’ll be okay,” Saudia says. “You know Atlas. She’ll be kicking ass wherever she is. She’s not going to go down without a fight.”
The penny drops then, and I know why none of them seem to be taking this too seriously. They’re all thinking the thought that flo
ated through my mind when I saw the button. Why did she go quietly?
The answer, for me, is too horrifying to even think about. But to them, the answer is simpler. They assume she left of her own free will, even after seeing the button.
Sadie comes back in.
“Well?” I demand.
“I can’t find her, Kane. I don’t know why, but it’s like she’s completely off the grid,” she says.
“You’re fucking lying,” I shout. “You didn’t even try, did you? You thought you’d just humor me.”
Pest steps in front of Sadie and I roll my eyes. As if he would be able to stop me if I wanted to hurt Sadie. I don’t want to hurt her; I just want to scare her into acting. Sadie reaches out and gently pushes Pest to one side as I storm towards her.
“You know that’s not true, Kane,” Sadie says calmly.
I can see the worry in her eyes, and it hits me that she’s telling the truth. She has really tried to find Atlas and failed. Even Perry doesn’t have a smug comeback for this one.
I rake my hands through my hair again, and then I slam my hand down on the back of the couch.
“Where the fuck is she? How does someone just vanish into thin air?”
No one has an answer, and I take a moment to calm myself down. Going off the deep end isn’t going to get Atlas back to us any quicker. I need to stay calm so I can think about this.
“Sadie, I’m sorry,” I say.
She just shakes her head.
“It’s fine,” she says.
“Why wouldn’t she have called out for help if she was snatched?” Saudia says.
“Maybe she was drugged,” Perry says.
Pest shakes his head.
“No. If she were drugged, then there wouldn’t have been any need for a struggle, so we would never have found a button torn from her clothes. It could have been that her room was enchanted to stop any noise from being heard, which would mean that a powerful witch or warlock was behind the whole thing.”
“We all know who’s behind this,” I say. “Fucking Talon.”
Regal shakes his head.
“It couldn’t have been Talon. This place is locked up tighter than Fort Knox. We would have heard him breaking in,” he says. “Pest’s right. It had to have been someone with extremely powerful magic to pull this kind of shit off.”
“Sadie? Any ideas?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“I can think of a few witches and warlocks powerful enough to pull it off, but I can’t think of anyone who would want to. A person with the kind of power you’re talking about—to hold various enchantments at once and get Atlas subdued and out of here—isn’t someone who needs to make a deal with the Keysu. And there’s no reason why any of them would hold any sort of grudge against Atlas,” she says.
I feel a sinking feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach.
“It’s me, isn’t it?” I say.
“What do you mean?” Sadie asks.
“It’s someone who has a grudge against me. They’ve taken her to get to me. To send me a message,” I say.
It all makes sense now. There are very few people I haven’t crossed at some point, and now my past is truly catching up with me.
“You don’t know that, Kane,” Sadie says.
No one else speaks a word. They know as well as I do that it’s the theory that makes the most sense.
“Fuck,” I shout into thin air. “Whoever you are, I’ll find you and if you think I was bad before, you ain’t seen a fucking thing like what’s coming to you. I’ll tear you limb from limb. I’ll rip your fucking heart out.”
“Kane…” Saudia starts, and I turn my attention to her.
“What?” I demand. “You think I should just take this lying down?”
“No. I just…” She trails off, and I smash my fist into the back of the couch again.
“Tracey? Are you alright?” Saudia says.
I follow Saudia’s look. She frowns in concern as she looks at Tracey. She puts her hand on Tracey’s arm, but it’s like Tracey doesn’t even feel it.
Tracey is sitting beside Saudia, but she might as well be a million miles away. Her face is white as a sheet. I can see her body shaking from here. Her fists are clenched so tightly together that I think her skin will split.
“It’s not because of you, Kane,” Tracey says so quietly I almost miss it.
She won’t look at me or anyone else; she just stares down at the ground.
“How do you know that?” I snap.
I soften my tone. She looks close to passing out, and I think my outburst has scared her. I don’t like how it feels to think that she’s in that state because of me. Not anymore.
“Tracey? What’s going on? Please tell me what you know,” I say gently.
She finally drags her gaze from the ground and looks me in the eye. It’s not fear I see there. It is guilt. And acceptance of what’s about to happen.
“Talon has Atlas. I know because I was the one who let him in.”
As soon as the words are out of Tracey’s mouth, all hell breaks loose. Everyone is on their feet shouting and screaming and arguing. The sounds all merge into one cacophony of noise, but I can hear Saudia over the rest. Her voice is angry, but beneath the anger, I can hear the absolute heartbreak.
“How could you, Tracey? How could you do that to Atlas, to the team?” Saudia shouts.
Her voice goes quiet.
“How could you do this to me?” she adds.
“Saudia, I’m sorry. I…” Tracey starts.
It’s as far as she gets before Saudia is on her feet. She reaches down and grabs a handful of Tracey’s hair, pulling Tracey to her feet too. Tracey presses her hands to her head, trying to stop the wrenching feeling of her hair being ripped from her scalp, but she makes no move to fight back.
When she’s standing upright, Saudia lets go of her hair, releasing it as though it’s something she really doesn’t want to touch. Her face wears a look of disgust, and she absentmindedly wipes her hands down her jeans.
Tracey stands before her, looking down at the ground.
“Look at me,” Saudia says, the anger in her voice barely controlled.
“Saudia, please,” Tracey says, still not looking up.
“I said look at me, you fucking coward,” Saudia hisses.
Tracey looks up finally, and her face crumples when she sees the ice on Saudia’s face. Saudia slaps her, hard, the clapping sound it makes bouncing around the room.
“How could you sell us out like that, Tracey? Do you know when you came back into my life, everyone warned me what you were like, but I didn’t listen. I told them they were wrong, that I loved you and that you’d changed.”
“I have changed,” Tracey interrupts.
Saudia snorts out a bitter sounding laugh.
“You haven’t changed a bit, Tracey. What did they promise you? Drugs? Money? You’re a fucking snake,” Saudia shouts.
She pushes Tracey, and Tracey stumbles back a couple of steps. Saudia stalks after her and pushes her again. She pulls back her fist and smashes it into Tracey’s face. Tracey, who was already shaky on her feet, goes down, and Saudia throws herself on top of her. The punches rain down, and while before I think Tracey refused to fight back because she didn’t want to hurt Saudia anymore, now she can only raise her hands in defense as there’s no room around Saudia’s anger for her to get a hit in.
The others have stopped talking among themselves now, and all of the attention is on Saudia and Tracey. I feel strangely detached from it all. I should be furious, and I am, but I’m not flying off the handle, not shouting or cursing or killing Tracey.
Instead, I just sit here in a state of shock. I remember when the team thought I was the traitor, and something then made me think it could be Tracey, but I told myself not to make the accusation because I knew how it felt to be accused of something just because of my past.
Saudia and Tracey were the only people who defended me then, and I know why
Tracey did it now. Because she knew. All of that time she knew she was planning on selling us out. All that time, she was pretending to be on our side, but she was really selling us out.
Langston takes a step towards Saudia.
“Saudia, stop. You’re going to kill her,” she says.
“I don’t fucking care,” Saudia snaps. She looks up long enough to give Langston a look that stops her in her tracks.
“If you get in my way on this, I might kill you.”
“You think it’s a good idea now, but you’ll regret it if you go too far,” Regal adds.
He nods to Perry, and they advance on Saudia, trying to pull her off Tracey. She stops her onslaught long enough to keep them from pulling her away. I get a glimpse of Tracey’s bloodied face and her fearful eyes. I don’t feel an ounce of sympathy for Tracey. She made her choice, and now she’s paying the price for it.
Regal has gone sprawling where Saudia shoved him away, and Perry backs away from Saudia, his hands raised in surrender. Saudia goes back to punching Tracey. Tears run down Saudia’s face as she continues to berate Tracey.
“Kane, do something,” Sadie says quietly from my side.
“You think Tracey deserves mercy after what she’s done?” I snap.
Sadie shakes her head.
“No, but I think Saudia deserves a moment to really think about this and decide if she wants a lifetime of guilt, because she’s going to go too far and kill that girl,” she says.
I don’t really care one way or the other, and I don’t think Saudia will waste too much time feeling guilty about this, but I do want answers. I nod to Sadie and stand up. I cross the ground, coming to stand behind Saudia, and ignoring her protests and her swinging hands and feet, I latch my hands underneath her armpits and drag her off Tracey.
I lift her into the air and stand her up. She goes straight back towards Tracey, and I grab her again and spin her roughly around to face me.
“What the fuck, Kane? You of all people should want her dead after what she’s done,” Saudia shouts, still struggling in my grip.
