by Cathryn Fox
I turn to see Tyler, who’s talking on his phone, and a big stupid hiccupping sob catches in my throat as old insecurities come rushing back, cutting off my air supply like I’m in one of Rock’s choke holds. Could Jonah be right? Could he be the one who set this up? I mean, he and my brother are enemies, and he did suggest it might be an enemy of Rock’s who was doing this. Is that why he hadn’t been able to find the punk, because he wasn’t really looking for him? Was that all just for show to throw me off his scent?
Oh, God, no. This can’t be happening.
Tyler ends the call and starts walking toward me. I stand on shaky legs, and Jonah walks away, leaving me to deal with Tyler myself. His eyes trail Jonah for a second, and then he turns to me.
“Listen, I have to tell you something, and it’s not going to be easy. Maybe you should sit.”
I continue to stand, my legs ramrod straight. “Might this be what you want to tell me?” I ask and hold the phone up to show him the picture of the two of us making love—correction, having sex, there was never any love involved on his part, obviously. He scrubs his face, not at all surprised. Oh, and why is that? Because Jonah had to be right. He must have set this up for the money. I snort. My whole life men have used me and discarded me. I thought Tyler was different. I thought he didn’t want anything from me.
“I guess now you can afford a new building and all the equipment for the gym.”
He goes quiet, so quiet I’m sure I hear every bird chirping in a ten-mile radius. Those green eyes of his darken, turn murderous as they glare back. I wait for him to say something, do something. Deny it even. Seconds turn into minutes and I finally blurt out, “You know you didn’t have to do this. Your brothers were going to surprise you with a new building and everything you needed. It was hard for me to keep quiet. All I wanted to do was tell you they bought that fish processing plant on the waterfront. Remember that night you showed me your notes and equipment specs you keep stored in your glovebox?”
“Yeah.”
“Your brothers and cousins were planning a big surprise, and brought me in because I knew what you wanted.” I stare at my phone, disgusted and ready to vomit when I see the picture. “I guess this was all for nothing.” I give an almost hysterical laugh. “Or maybe it wasn’t. I guess this was a good way to get back at Rock. Fucking his sister was the perfect revenge. Well done, Tyler.” Here I thought we were building something between us, but nothing was real. Why on earth did I ever let myself hope it was. “You’re a better actor than I’ll ever be.” I stand there another minute, waiting for him to do something. I catch Mason glaring at me. “I’ll probably never work again.” I take a deep breath. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I think you’ve said it all, Haven.”
“I guess I did then,” I say, my heart shattering into a million pieces. I guess there was a part of me that was hoping I was wrong, that past hurts had no place between Tyler and me, but yet here he is, not denying anything.
“I guess I’m no longer needed here.”
“Right, I guess not.” Apparently, my stalker situation is no longer an issue. He must have been using that to get close, lure me into a sense of security so he could fuck my brother over, and fuck me in the process. When will I ever learn?
He turns, and stupid tears fall down my face in a rush as I take in the slump of his shoulders, the way his muscles flex with each movement. In the distance I hear a siren, but I have no chance to consider what’s happening when Mason points his finger at me, and then gestures toward his trailer. With my entire head spinning, and my heart shattered, I head toward the trailer, and swipe at the tears to try to pull myself together. A police car stops near Tyler, and Officer Walker climbs from the driver’s side. I go perfectly still when he says something to Tyler, and then glances around the set. I follow his gaze, until I’m staring at a very worried looking Shannon. What the hell is going on? Shannon starts to back up, but the officer is on her in seconds flat handcuffing her hands behind her back.
I’m about to run to her rescue, but Mason grabs my arms. I spin his way. “Why are they handcuffing Shannon?”
He glares down at me. “I think the better question is, why didn’t you tell me about the letters?”
I blink once, then twice, and angle my head to see Tyler watching us. “He…told you.”
“He gave me the heads up about Shannon. Told me the police were on the way.”
Shannon is squirming and cursing at the cop as he walks her toward us.
I try to quiet my racing mind. “Are you saying Shannon was behind it?” I mean it seemed strange when she was trying to get into my trailer, but…no, it couldn’t be her, could it?
“Yes,” she was behind it,” Officer Walker says as he steps up to us. “She hired one of the vacationers to leave you a messages and scare you. Don’t worry, he’s headed to the station, and won’t be bothering you again.”
With my heart already broken, the shattered pieces crumble, and tears flood my eyes. Is there no one I can trust? No one who doesn’t want something, or isn’t out to harm me?
“Shannon?” I ask. “Why?”
She snarls at me. “Don’t play innocent with me, Haven. You’ve been stealing roles that should have gone to my daughter. She’s Hollywood elite, not you.” With a nod she gestures toward Tyler as he climbs into his truck. “You’re nothing but a slut, sleeping with everyone to get ahead, and causing nothing but trouble. You don’t deserve any of this,” she spits out.
I stand there stunned, my entire body too numb to move as the world crashes in around me. Officer Walker gives her a nudge to set her in to motion, and I turn to find Tyler driving away—leaving the set and my life forever.
“To my trailer now,” Mason commands, pulling my focus.
A big stupid hiccupping sob catches in my throat as I force my legs to work and blindly follow him. Honest to God, I can’t believe this is my life right now. I just lost the only man I ever truly loved, found out the one person on set I liked and trusted was out to hurt me, and now I’m about to lose this job, too.
22
Tyler
It’s been nearly two full weeks since Haven accused me of doing something so ridiculous and underhanded that I’ve been walking around for days wanting to punch something. Hard. Is that what she thinks of me? That I’m the kind of guy who would do something like that?
When we first met, I told her she didn’t know me, and she didn’t. I didn’t know her either. Lord knows what we read in the papers is total and utter bullshit. Christ, if you went by what was written about me and Rock, you’d think we were mortal enemies. We’re not. He’s a good guy and a good friend, and he was there when I was going through a tough time, just like Haven was there for me when I found the DVDs. After spending all of our time together, I’m pretty sure I saw a side of her that she never knew existed. Haven found herself in my arms, discovered her likes and dislikes, and I loved watching her blossom beneath my touch. Nothing made me happier than watching her discover who she really was, and come to realize that person was pretty damn awesome.
I guess deep down, she didn’t know me, and I really didn’t know her. I never thought she’d jump to conclusions about me, and accuse me of tipping off the media for profit. That’s pretty fucked up and leads me back to one question—is that the kind of guy she thought I was? While she might have been learning who she was, she clearly hadn’t taken the time to get to know the real me. Maybe it just wasn’t that important to her.
Despite all that, despite the knife she shoved straight into my heart, I still would have stayed on to be her bodyguard—as fucked up as that sounds. But her safety was and still is, important to me, and I’d never let her or her brother down like that. Sure, he’s not going to like the idea that I was in his sister’s bed, but he’s going to be grateful that I watched out for her.
A noise at the door pulls my attention and my heart leaps as I spin. My gaze lands on Gram, and I have no idea why I thought—hoped—i
t was Haven. She’s gone. After Officer Walker arrived on the set, and arrested Shannon, they finished up the shoot quickly and cleared out, leaving no traces that they’d ever been here—physical traces to be precise. Haven’s presence is still imprinted on my heart.
Seriously though, who would have thought it was Shannon screwing with Haven all along. It makes sense though. She would have been at the airport, in the ladies’ room with Haven after they arrived in Connecticut. It’s beyond my comprehension to think she paid a local kid to leave letters, to try to scare Haven away from the set all because she was jealous that Haven landed the lead and not her own daughter. I shake my head at that. Haven really does work in a fucked-up industry. I’m just glad in the end Shannon was caught, and the boy she paid is going to be doing community service for his involvement. Haven is now safe to go back to the life she lives—one where she has no friends, and men always want something from her.
“Hello,” Gram says, and I shake my head to clear it. Not that I ever think that will happen. Everywhere I look, I see Haven, which is why I need to get the fuck out of the cabin. Although I slept with her back in my bed at the old homestead, and the second I lay my head down, I expect those memories to come back in a painful flash.
“Hey Gram, what are you doing here?” I ask, and work to inject a bit of enthusiasm into my voice.
She walks around the cabin, tracing her finger over the back of the sofa. “Looks like you’re packing up to come back home.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore. Bad memories.”
Her head lifts, and her brow raises as her gaze latches on mine. “Some good ones too, don’t you think?”
I glance at the loft. If I try really hard, I can still smell Haven’s scent on the bedding. They need to be washed, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. “Yeah,” I say under my breath. I really don’t want to get into my love life, or lack thereof, with my grandmother.
Gram steps outside into the shade, and I follow her. Big clouds block the afternoon sun, and she lifts her face to the sky. “Did you get a chance to watch any of the movies?”
I loosely drape my arm around her and watch the waves lap the shore. “Yeah, I did.” I turn to her. “Did you always know?”
“I knew,” she says.
“How come you never told me?”
“There is this thing called fate.” The fine lines around her eyes crinkle as she smiles up at me. “You learned the truth when it’s time to learn it. Not a second before or after.”
I chuckle but it holds no humor. “When did you become a philosopher?”
She taps her head. “Still got lots going on in here, Tyler.”
“I know you do, Gram,” I say and go quiet. She’s here for a reason, and I suspect I’ll be finding out why very shortly.
“Haven’s gone.”
Ah, and there it is, the real reason she’s here.
I try to sound unbothered, but suspect she’ll see right through me. “Yup, back to L.A. Not that I’m keeping tabs.” It’s a lie, I am.
She makes a tsking sound. “I’m sure glad your father isn’t around to see any of this.”
I stiffen, and my arm falls from her shoulder. I back up and sit on the porch step. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You made him proud your whole life, Tyler. But this…let’s just say I’m glad he can’t see you now.” She gives a slow shake of her head.
My insides twist. “Gram, what are you talking about?”
“You’re a fighter, Tyler.” She flexes her bicep and the corner of my mouth turns up at her attempt to show me her muscles. “Your father bragged about you so much.” She smiles and her eyes light up, like she’s recalling a happy memory. “He told everyone how tough you were, how nothing frightened you.”
“A bear frightened me,” I remind her. “He didn’t like that too much. Wasn’t too proud of me that day.”
“You were a kid. Your father was never good with his words, but he was so scared you were going to get hurt that day, he lashed out from fright.” She glances down, and her lips pinch tight. “He came to me later that night, told me what really happened, and that was the closest I’ve ever seen him to tears.”
My heart pinches tight, and I take a deep breath to ease the pain in my throat. “Really?”
She blinks, like she’s reliving the moment. “I don’t think he slept for a week.”
“I…I didn’t know,” I say and try to sound casual, like my insides aren’t being filleted like a lake trout.
“You didn’t suspect he lashed out from fear?”
“Not until Haven said something similar to me when I told her about the incident.” God, I have to stop saying her name, have to stop thinking about her. I’m losing my damn mind as it is.
“Look at you now. All grown up and not so tough. I think you were braver when you were ten and facing that bear.”
“Jesus, why don’t you tell me what you really think.” I never knew Gram to be cruel, but she’s not being very nice to me now.
“What are you afraid of, Tyler?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“You’re a fighter. So why aren’t you fighting for her? Are you really throwing in the towel so easily? Here I thought when things got tough, you got tougher.” She purses her lips, a slow shake of her head. “Guess I was wrong.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let her words sink in. She drops down beside me, completely quiet, as wildlife sounds fill the void. “What if she doesn’t want what I want?” I finally say, breaking the silence between us. “What if I was never anything more than a bodyguard to her? Women have never really seen past the MMA fighter. I’ve always been a guy they wanted in their bed, but not their hearts.”
“Ah, there it is,” she says as she nods, and puts her hand over mine. I take in her gnarled, arthritic joints, the dark spots on her skin. Gram has lived a long hard life with all us boys, and my father, and even though her hands hurt her, it doesn’t stop her from knitting, baking and tending to her garden. She’s the tough one in the family. The smart one too. “Tell me about Haven.”
I exhale, as my mind races and unable to help myself, a smile touches my mouth. “Well, she doesn’t like fishing with real worms, or flies,” I say and laugh at the private joke. “She loved having a campfire with all the kids from my class.” My heart squeezes as the sound of her laughter still rattles around inside my brain. “She loves kids, and I tell you, she deserves a family of her own. People might say she doesn’t want kids. Well, she never said that. She said she didn’t want to bring them into her world and honestly, I don’t blame her. It’s cutthroat.”
“Tell me more,” Gram says.
“She’s a hard worker, one of the hardest I know. She loves learning new things, and isn’t afraid of trying anything. I really love that about her.”
“Is that what you love?”
“One of the things.”
“Tell me what else you love.”
“I love her smile, especially when she wakes up in the morning and finds me beside her.” I cringe. “Sorry, maybe that was too much information.”
“I’m old, son. I’m not dead. I know what sex is.”
I give a very uncomfortable laugh and she pats my hand, encouraging me to continue. “I love the relationship between her and her brother, and how our family all took her in, and treated her like she was one of us. She loved that too.” I swallow the lump in my throat and say, “There wasn’t a single person in the world I wanted by my side except her when I found those DVDs.”
“Sounds like you love just about everything about her. What do you think she loves about you?”
My stomach clenches so tight, I’m sure I’m going to vomit. “She accused me of some pretty awful things, Gram,” I say through clenched teeth.
“That’s not what I asked, but since you brought it up, why do you think she did that?”
I gaze out over the lake, and take in the bobbing boat. My God, we had so m
uch fun in the water, and I’d never seen her eyes bigger than when she reeled in that trout. “I guess she’s used to seeing the worst in people. Outside of her brother, she’s never been able to count on anyone.” My heart crashes against my ribs when I add, “I wanted to be the guy she could trust and count on, you know? I tried to be that guy, but I guess she never saw me as anything more than a man who was out for his own best interests, just like every other guy in her life.”
“You were that guy she could trust and count on, but old fears and insecurities came back to haunt her when she saw the pictures. That’s understandable, don’t you think? She clearly expects the worst, probably because she’s only ever been shown it.”
“When things are going good for her, she waits for bad to follow. She told me that.”
“I think I know someone else like that.”
My head rears back. “Me?”
“You fell in love, and like Haven, your old fears and insecurities rushed back to haunt you.”
I take in her narrowed eyes, the fine line marring her skin. “What do you mean?”
“You just finished telling me women want you in their bed, but not their hearts. Seems like you both let the past invade on the future.” She exhales slowly and glances away, giving me time to think. “Shame, really.”
My mind races, spins, and I watch a bird soar overhead as I absorb her words. After a long moment, I turn to Gram, and she turns to me, watching me like she’s waiting for me to have some big epiphany. I sit there and consider everything, and then suddenly, the clouds overhead clear, showcasing a blue sky as understanding dawns in small increments. My God, I’m the world’s biggest asshole. Instead of reassuring Haven that I’d never do anything to hurt her, that I wasn’t behind the pictures, I just stood there because I was afraid she didn’t love me the way I loved her and it was easier to just walk away, keep my heart safe, and go down without a goddamn fight. Haven knows me. She knows exactly who I am, and she was just as scared as I was. She told me that when things were going well, she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s because people have always let her down, and what did I do, I let her down by letting her believe the worst.
