If you think South Carolina Republicans are racists because Democrat Governor Fritz Hollings raised the Confederate Flag over the Capitol…
If your idea of “green energy” is for a lot of taxpayer green to be funneled to Democrat fundraisers…
If you think a duck covered with Exxon Valdese oil is in more peril than a duck whacked out of the sky by a giant wind turbine…
If you support an “all of the above” energy program, as long as oil, coal and natural gas are not part of “the above”…
If you think forbidding the Keystone Pipeline is a step towards addressing America’s energy independence…
If you believe it is mere coincidence that the executives of green energy companies that got 6.5 billion taxpayer dollars were huge Obama campaign contributors and bundlers…
If your idea of a good United States Department of Agriculture budget is 80 per cent food stamps and 20 per cent farming…
If you think that limiting marriage to two adults is a bit narrow minded…
If you believe that folks who pay no income tax are paying “more than their fair share”…
If you have ever been quoted as saying ““When I travel and talk to women around the world, they tell me that access to contraceptives can often be the difference between life and death,”…51
If you are an atheist who participated in the Obama fundraiser to have Obama appear in your Christmas card photo…
If you believe that our “Constitution is a charter of negative liberties” because of the “constraints” it puts on government…52
If you think a Caliphate is the newest model from Chrysler…
If you know down deep in your heart that Tea Party folks are racists, but cannot seem to come up with a single bit of evidence from a camera phone anywhere…
If your first instinct is that a twenty-four year old Batman movie fan is more likely to be a Tea Party member than an Occupy Wall Street type…53
If you think the torture photos from Abu Grahib are dirty enough to even qualify for a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts…
...you might be a liberal. (YMBAL)
“When you see around the globe the mal-distribution of wealth…when you see so few haves and so many have-nots, when you see the greed and the concentration of power…did you ever have a moment of doubt about capitalism…?”
—Phil Donahue
“Despite a voluminous and often fervent literature on income distribution, the cold fact is that most income is not distributed: It is earned.”
—Thomas Sowell
32: SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR VERSUS ANDY GRIFFITH
If Andy Griffith considers you a “gooood cracker”…
One irritating irony that we all have to live with is the fact that there are a lot of rich liberal actors around who got rich by playing popular conservative characters on television or in the movies. I realize that actors live a fantasy by definition of their job description, but I keep thinking it might dawn on them one day that the most popular characters they play are conservative!
Jack Ryan and Jack Bauer come to mind as good examples of hardcore, kick ass conservatives who have been played by liberals Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford and Kiefer Sutherland. These actors get credibility because, when people see them, they envision the decidedly conservative characters of Jack Ryan and Jack Bauer. And yet Sutherland told Charlie Rose that what happened at Abu Grahib “was absolutely criminal.” He added that “torture is not a way of procuring information” and merely a “dramatic device.”
So why does Charlie Rose or anyone else care what Sutherland thinks? Ironically, it’s because of hero Jack Bauer and has nothing to do with actor Sutherland. In case you are not familiar with Bauer from the hit series ’24,’ I’ll define him by quips from around the web written by fans of the show. Many of these are obviously adapted from a similar meme about Chuck Norris. You’ll notice that Bauer is no liberal and is fabulously politically incorrect.
The reason it is forbidden to show Muhammad’s face is because they don’t want Jack Bauer to recognize him.
If Jack Bauer was on Brokeback Mountain, there would be no gay cowboys, just dead ones.
In high school, Jack Bauer got a job working as a department store Santa. He was fired after he tortured a child to tell him her Christmas list.
Terrorists go to prison for protection from Jack Bauer. It rarely actually works. Every time you blink Jack Bauer kills a terrorist, not because you blinked, but because that how many terrorists he kills.
When you are with your wife and she is thinking about Jack Bauer, it’s ok, because so are you.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn’t go off, security gives him a gun.
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer’s seat, she’d move to the back of the bus.
Obviously, Sutherland’s liberal views discredit the reputation of Bauer’s character and contradict every reason Bauer was loved as a hero in the first place. This could explain why another quip was going around that “ upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. “ Touche’.
The case of Sheriff Andy Taylor is similarly ironic as well. Millions of Americans celebrated a lot of great values with Sheriff Taylor over five plus decades, watching the antics in Mayberry. Yet the very man who brought Sheriff Taylor to life, Andy Griffith, was not among them. This is particularly confusing because the show about Sheriff Taylor and Mayberry was, of course, called The Andy Griffith Show. That was standard back then, just as the show about Rob Petrie was called The Dick Van Dyke Show. The point is, this just fed into the notion that Andy Griffith and Andy Taylor were one and the same. This is a perception that carries forth to this day, to a degree.
And yet, in reality, that’s not even close.
Each week, the Mayberry ensemble treated viewers to many great episodes of what amounted to conservative fables. These were programs where the lessons put forth were almost totally small town conservative values in action. You might even call them Tea Party in nature.
Yet real life Andy Griffith—who passed away in July of 2012—remained a staunch political liberal to the end, with a foray into pro Obama Care television spots as his last political endeavor. So how did Andy Taylor do such a great job with these lessons and yet allow Andy Griffith to remain so immune to them? How did Griffith play the sheriff of what can only be described as a lily white, God fearing, conservative town, teaching his son Opie all kinds of lessons about family values and hard work and honesty, and end up being such a left winger his entire life?
As mentioned earlier, his last pet cause was that of Obama Care, an act that, once fully defined by Kathleen Sebelius, will certainly bury us in an avalanche of paperwork. Yet somehow, Andy Griffith failed to connect the dots that the over officious incompetent bureaucratic meddling of Barney Fife—a running joke over the entire length of the show—is exactly the government Griffith is touting with Obama Care. It’s what big government is in general. And Griffith was all for it.
If fact, liberalism in its many forms was regularly made fun of on the show. In addition to Barney going crazy over some rule or regulation like some government bureaucrat, there were a series of mayors who did the same, and they were all lampooned. Freight trains brought in a beggar from time to time who refused to work, and those characters were the villains of the show. So was an overly litigious trial lawyer who temporarily corrupted Otis Taylor, the lovable town drunk. And having a town drunk who checks himself into jail is quite the law and order concept, by the way.
Although, I have to admit that an inmate having his own keys to the jail is probably something the ACLU and other liberal groups would love to see. Maybe this was the start of the liberal demon that got into Andy.
To be sure, the show had great characters like Barney and Leon and the Darlings and Opie and Earnest T. Bass and so on. Without a doubt, however, the hall
mark of the show was the ever present, underlying value that was ultimately upheld in the end. The majority of the plots had some character trait under assault that had to be validated.
In fairness, the show came along in a much more innocent and less political time—the 1950’s and 60’s—than we have today. Regardless, the show was, by any definition, conservative small town America on display. God was revered and church attendance was something everybody respectable did. No one resembling Jeremiah Wright came through town holding a tent revival. You just know that Mayberry voted for Reagan overwhelmingly.
Honesty, and family, and the work ethic, and law and order were always part of the underlying theme of the show. The biggest crime sprees were moon shining or throwing rocks through windows and, in one case, writing bad checks. Were there to ever be a gay scene—and I don’t believe there ever was—the quaint phrase “confirmed bachelor” would have surely been the only description. By the way, was Floyd married?
Not a mention of a welfare check was ever heard. In fact, the hand out mentality was chided and laziness was shown to be wrong, period.
In other words, Mayberry was definitely a conservative town in conservative North Carolina. And North Carolina was much more conservative back then. The damned Yankees hadn’t started moving in. The show demonstrated and celebrated conservative values. There was no ideological tension. Right was right and wrong was wrong. Common sense was self-evident.
What was right and what was common sense was never questioned in the outcome. Oh, Barney or the mayor or Goober or Gomer—and sometimes even Andy—would fun afoul of what was right or what made common sense for a while. But in the end, there was never any doubt. There was never ambiguity.
And yet, in Griffith’s last public performance, he espoused the wonders of “guaranteed benefits” and “free check ups” and “lower prescription costs” before promising us that the same government that gave us Solyndra and Fast and Furious will give us “new protections against fraud.” How will that work, exactly?
Of course, for us rube doubters, the government will have the answer. No doubt they will pay David Axelrod’s firm many millions of dollars to run another phony ad campaign of ‘concerned coalitions’ and so on to convince us. Somehow, it reminds me of something Sheriff Taylor said in a 1964 episode: “I don’t understand it. But I guess a fellow shouldn’t question when he’s getting a free supper.”
Which was kind of a prophetic statement about the liberal entitlement mentality in general. It is perplexing that Griffith embraced that ideology his entire life.
YMBAL’S #32
If you are always insisting on your “individual rights,” and what you mean is your right to have others pay for your sexual encounters or desired medical changes…
If you think a criminal is the fault of “society” and a business success is the outcome of “society”…
If you get wealthy off getting “more government money than ever shoved out the door” for your crony businesses and then claim to be a great philanthropist by saying you’ll give half of it away after you die…54
If you swelled with pride at the idea of US Service men and women being able to walk in uniform in a Gay Pride Parade for the first time this summer…
If you swelled up anywhere else on your person at the same thought...
If you are violently and virulently pro-choice but have rarely been put in a position where birth control was even a legitimate possible necessity of your social life…
If you think “Check into Crack” is the legitimate name of a storefront check cashing establishment…
If you talk in clichés that allow you to take from others what they have earned and feel good about yourself at the same time…
If you’ve ever worn your “Forward” Obama tee shirt to a rally in support of the Postal Workers Union…
If you are angrier at your bank for foreclosing on your unpaid mortgage than you are the President who destroyed the economy and your job…
If you think the “private sector is doing fine” because, after all, businesses build themselves with little help from the person who started them…
If your goal in life is to “get rid of enrollment obstacles” in government assistance programs…
If you think there are any “enrollment obstacles” for most government handouts in the first place…55
If you are the mayor of one of the American cities being bulldozed…
If you have ever stood in line at a hot dog cart in New York City to get your free vibrator…
If you are the imaginary friend of Harry Reid with information on Mitt Romney’s tax returns…
If you’ve ever been turned away from voting because you refused to fill in the “citizenship” box…
...you might be a liberal. (YMBAL)
“I’m always worried about using the word ‘victory,’ because, you know, it invokes this notion of Emperor Hirohito coming down and signing a surrender to MacArthur.”
—Barack Obama
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.”
—Ronald Reagan
33: NOBODY NAMED SMITH VERSUS MAJOR NIDAL HASAN
If you were very concerned that the Fort Hood shooter’s name was not something like Smith…
The reaction to the Jihadist attack and murders at Fort Hood in November of 2009 was a fabulous object lesson in liberal mental illness and silliness. It is very sad, indeed, that it came at such a high price.
Pretty much oblivious to the actual human heartache that ensued, the liberal media was consumed with only one thing: Not getting to the bottom of what really happened.
As you may remember, Jurassic media icon Diane Sawyer—either espousing her editorial fantasy or a quoting a third-hand comment from an anonymous “military wife”—was dreadfully upset that the mass-murderer from Fort Hood was named Nidal Hasan and not someone named Smith.
And she was joined by others in this concern, including Evan Thomas of Newsweek. Yes, the same Evan Thomas who said that Obama was some kind of god. Speaking of the man not named Smith, the man named Thomas said “I cringe that he’s a Muslim…I mean, because it inflames all the fears. I think he is probably just a nutcase, but with that label attached to him, it will get the right wing going and just—I mean these things are tragic, but that makes it much worse.”
Well, at least he did manage to sneak something about the tragedy in at the last minute, but his over riding concern was the politics of a name that did not resemble Smith. He cringed, not at the death of 13 innocent people, but instead at getting the “right wing” going. Knowing that Thomas works for Newsweek, I think it was over priced at a dollar.
Of course, one can only imagine how thrilled Sawyer and Thomas would have been had he been named something like, oh, I don’t know, say Palin. Or Bush. Even Kennedy would have been better than Hasan, I suppose.
From what I can deduce, had his name been Smith, it would be much easier for the Diane Sawyers of the Jurassic media to cover up what they knew deep inside of them went on here. In perhaps a related story, none of the 9-11 attackers were in the Smith family, either.
And what appears to have gone wrong is that a poster child for every wrong-headed, politically correct liberal program our great military has been forced to accept finally blew a gasket and took out thirteen unarmed American soldiers. Predictably blew a gasket, I might add.
What was obvious from the start, for anyone honestly trying to figure out what happened, is that a man not named Smith, but named Nidal Hasan, had some decidedly un-Smith-like beliefs. Moreover, he was rather adamant about espousing them. This was not a secret. That is to say, this well-paid U.S. Army Major held some beliefs strangely coincident with the very people that most U.S. Army Majors are fighting. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the idea that sympathy with the enemy is called “treason” rather than the modern touchy-feely idea that it is simply a “heal
thy diversity.”
Such diversity wasn’t too damned healthy for about forty-five soldiers, now was it? According to the coroner’s report, many are even beyond sensitivity training at this point. Where is George Patton to slap some sense into someone when you need him?
We also knew, early on, that a major who happens not to be named Smith but who does happen to be a devout follower of Islam—the well documented religion of peace—strode into one of the principal gathering points at Fort Hood and shot forty-some unarmed military personnel. Among them was a pregnant woman.
On the bright side for liberals, Hasan’s actions were pro-abortion.
We also know that Major Hasan, quite consistent with many who follow Islam—that well-documented religion of peace—was quite taken with the idea of the Middle Eastern suicide bombers. He is known to have compared them with valiant U.S. soldiers throwing themselves on a grenade to save buddies.
You Might Be a Liberal Page 25
