by Fiona Murphy
Sifting through our two years of interactions isn’t hard, every one of them feels burned into my brain. None of them had lasted longer than the time he spent here yesterday. As much as I want him sexually, and yes I’d read everything I could my hands on about him, we’d never really talked. Although Drake had made an attempt.
When he stayed, he had rung the desk at least once a night to ask a question about the hotel or set a wake-up call. He’d always get in a few personal questions, something small and undeniably intimate, my favorite place in the city and then why. Other questions included my favorite food, was I from Chicago, my hobbies, and I had answered then demanded the same information from him before he hung up. Not every night, but most nights he stayed he would ask for a toothbrush or something small, any excuse to get me to his room. Knowing it was only a ploy didn’t stop me from rushing to his room, and every time I would hand it to him, our fingers would touch and he would linger.
The time he stayed before the snowstorm, I had been so caught up in the surprise that even after two years of casual touches, my body still went electric at his lightest touch, and I had looked up in awe. Our eyes had met and held for so long we were both lost. He took a step closer to me and I waited, then a door had slammed and shaken me. I had practically run from the room, scared of what would happen if I stayed. I had expected another call pushing me, asking me for more. Nothing had come, I had told myself I was relieved, I wasn’t.
Three weeks had passed, then a snowstorm had hit the city. Drake checked in and the night had been so busy and chaotic I hadn’t been able to hide behind the guard I usually had. When I watched him walk through the doors, I had drunk him in and been unable to tear my eyes off him. Just being near him had caused my body to tremble from need.
While I had led him to his room, the small talk of the storm in the elevator had disappeared. He’d just looked at me for endless minutes. Longing and desire had swelled and filled the room. With the hotel full, the sounds of the activity had shaken me. My mind furiously working on the explanation I would have to come up with for taking so long. He had called down to the desk several times over the next two nights and I hadn’t been able to deny him. He’d drawn out multiple quick phone calls to find out my favorite music, he knew I loved reading and managed to get my favorite book and movie. My favorite ice cream flavor, my favorite color, tiny bits of time we had shared that felt like confessions and whispering in the dark. Was it all enough to make a marriage on? Was it love or lust?
I have no doubt if I had gone easily to Drake’s bed, he wouldn’t be offering marriage. Did that really matter, when in the end all I want is Drake, and whatever way I can get him I would happily take?
My shower is a quick, and I’m in bed. Even though I’m sure I’ll have to take a sleeping pill, I fall into sleep quickly.
I sleep so heavily my second alarm goes off before it gets through to me. I’m moving slowly as I get up and dressed. There’s a part of me that’s surprised and sad not to have Drake knocking at my door. A part of me had thought he would show up.
When Justin gets home, he asks if I know what I’m going to do. I shrug because I have no idea. Justin’s right, I need to talk to Drake, really talk to him. I go to work early, as usual, and Charlie is waiting for me.
My stomach sinks when he asks me to follow him into the back, I know what’s coming. Charlie looks sad but resolute. “You know what I’m going to say don’t you?”
I swallow against the lump in my throat and can only nod.
“Gloria, in housekeeping, saw you coming out Drake Hawthorne’s room two nights in a row, both times you looked disheveled. Latisha, just so you know, would only say she didn’t know nothing about nothing. I’m putting it through as a resignation. I know you applied again for a position in Boston, and I don’t want to ruin your chances there. It means you won’t get unemployment though, so if you want me to do it differently let me know and I’ll change it.”
I shake my head, grateful for his offer. Not bothering to tell him about how Gloria resented me moving up from housekeeping. She had been trying to get back at me since I wrote her up for sleeping in an empty room. He puts a form in front of me, I don’t even look, just sign.
Following me to my locker, he stands by me as I clean it out. Handing me a bag from the gift shop to put my odds and ends, collected over six years, in and walks me out the door. I’m relieved everyone pretends they don’t see it happening.
Ignoring the El stop I usually get on, I walk for a while. I’m in a kind of daze while taking in the city. I’m going to miss Chicago, but I’m sure we’ll visit often, with Drake having so much still going on here. Would he really be happy in Boston, would we come back after Justin is old enough to be on his own? I’m pretty sure Justin will stay on at MIT until some huge company or NASA offers him a job. That wouldn’t be until he was at least eighteen, probably, but knowing Justin he would probably want to stay at least until he got his doctorate, which would be a while. I also don’t want Drake and I to trail after Justin from city to city. I just want him to always know we’ll be there for him, for whatever he needs.
It takes a moment to realize I’m thinking in terms of ‘we’ instead of me, and all the stress it feels like I’ve been under for months disappears. I’ve been hiding behind the excuse of keeping my job, when really I was too scared to put Justin’s and my future in the hands of Drake. After hearing, though, how open and supportive Drake wanted to be with Justin, the fear had gradually died away. I had known pretty much whatever way Drake and I next met I’d come away wearing the ring and saying yes, because I love him. Children weren’t more important than the future I could have with Drake. I’d already had the experience, more or less, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. From now on, I would have Drake’s support with Justin and that would be nice, not to bear the load alone. No children would open the door to traveling, hopefully, and that would be nice. I’ve always wanted to see the world outside of Chicago, and I’m sure I’ll be able to talk Drake into it during the winter months. I’ve heard Boston winters can be as brutal as in Chicago.
By the time I’m home again, Justin is in his sleeping clothes and on the couch with the remote.
“Oh, crap.” He says as he looks at me.
“Yes, and no. Being fired isn’t any fun at all. On the plus side, it made me see I was hiding behind the job to keep Drake away. I was scared about asking him to take you with me as a package deal. I’ve never told you, but that was what always had the other guys running. They would get resentful about you, and very quickly I’d dump them or they dumped me. Drake had said he was open to making sure you knew you’d be a part of his life, not just mine and taking care of you, but I didn’t believe him. Until he came here, laying it out and making plans to move to Boston, like he was deciding what meal to have for dinner, and making it clear he wasn’t saying it to just placate me. He’ll be here for the both of us and that’s really the only thing I needed to know.”
Justin hugs me tight. “I can call him Drake, right? I don’t have to do the dad thing?”
“You do what makes you comfortable.”
“Cool, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I am, I really am, but you need to get to bed. No wonder you don’t want to get up in the mornings if you stay up so late.”
“It’s only ten.”
“Yes, but it takes you forever to fall asleep because you think about all kinds of stuff once you’re in bed.”
“Fine, I already brushed my teeth. Night, I love you sis.”
“Night, I love you too.”
Chapter Five
Almost an hour later, I’m not surprised by the light knock on the door. I have the robe on, I also have something on underneath I hope he’ll like.
Opening the door, he’s oddly hesitant. The night has gotten cold and he’s wearing a light jacket over a thermal knit shirt and jeans that cling. “I’m sorry, I came as soon as I heard.”
I step back, he comes in, car
eful to give me room and it’s hard not to smile. “How did you hear?”
“Latisha called me on my cell.”
“She what?”
“Yeah, I was surprised and glad. I hadn’t gone back to the hotel tonight. I wanted to give you some time. I wasn’t going to go back for a few days. I still had the room there, as an excuse.”
I motion to sit down and can’t hold back the smile when he sits down at the far end of the couch. “So you wanted to give me some time?”
“I’m trying. When I realized you were a virgin it all made sense, and I felt like an asshole. I was worried I’d blown it with you. Then I thought you’d be mad about me coming to talk to Justin, too. It wasn’t until afterward I really thought about it, it not being right to include him until you were ready. I was just so anxious to meet him and get to know him. He’s a great kid. You’ve done an amazing job with him.
Meeting him, it clicked; you were a great mom to a child who wasn’t your own. For me to lay down not wanting kids, and it being me or them, wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry I did that. I’m open to children, I’d like for them to come sooner rather than later. So I’m not too old and I can enjoy them and have the energy to be there for them. Do the little league stuff and all of that. I’m thirty-six this year, even though I had wanted to give you more time to enjoy married life and not being an only parent to Justin, I’d like for us to have them before I get too far past forty. Would two be okay?”
He’s asking me, and he’s telling me in so many ways, and I laugh. This is Drake trying to not be arrogant and commanding and a know it all. It’s fascinating to watch. He growls and closes the space between us. His lips are on mine and my arms go around his neck pulling him tight.
“How can I love someone so cruel and teasing? It’s like you’re trying to make me crazy.” He groans into my neck. I go still at his words.
“I’m not trying, I promise. How can you be so sure it’s love? It sure sounded like lust when you told me I was going to marry you.” Hearing him say the words out loud after so long is hard to believe.
Raising his head, his eyes meet mine and I see the love there. My heart starts thumping painfully. “Sweetheart, since you don’t have much experience I can tell you now lust doesn’t have a very long shelf life. It burns hot and bright and fades fast. What I feel for you hasn’t faded, it just gets stronger and painful from the unfulfilled need. I know I’m rushing you and I know it’s scary. It feels like I’ve waited forever for you and I don’t want to wait another day to make you mine. You felt it too, that first night didn’t you?”
Tears fill my eyes and it’s hard to speak around the lump in my throat, “I couldn’t believe, didn’t believe, it was true. I had laughed and said it was lust at first sight not love. Then you walked in and our eyes met and it was there. Every question I ever had was answered, it was terrifying but just so right.”
Drake is kissing away my tears, his hands are tender as they run through my hair. “I had laughed once, too. Lust, I had plenty of experience with. I knew immediately what I was feeling and it was clear you felt it too. Then I came crashing down when I saw the fear in your eyes when I got closer. When you mentioned your non-existent husband, I couldn’t believe I was still able to walk and talk the next day. It felt like everything that was in me was with you and you weren’t with me.”
Hating the way his face fills with remembered misery, I pull him down and kiss him with all the love I have in me, to soothe his pain. In seconds, it isn’t enough and I’m desperate for more. I’m shocked when he pulls away and sits up.
A shaky hand goes through his hair and he looks down at me. “We’re going to do this right. The way I should have done it from the beginning.”
Shrugging off his jacket, he pulls out two envelopes from an inner pocket and hands them to me. My body, still tense with longing, isn’t happy about the loss of him and it takes a minute to sit up. I take the thick heavy envelopes and open the first one, it’s a wedding invitation. It already has my name and his, and a date for six weeks from now with the location of his home. It’s formal, the lines sweeping, white on the outside, and the palest of purple on the inside with writing in white for contrast. I open the other envelope and it’s an invitation with the same information in silver and white and the print is in dark purple. Looking up, his expression is hopeful, there’s also tension around his mouth. It makes me sad it’s there because of me. Looking down, I see he has the ring in his hand and I offer my left hand. Closing his eyes, he exhales a shaky breath as he takes my hand and slides the ring on.
It’s beautiful, and I remember what Justin had said about why he picked it out. The color is a deep sparkling brown, surrounded by a halo of white diamonds and I look up at him and smile, “I love it, almost as much as I love you, almost. I didn’t know my eyes were this sparkly.”
His cheeks are stained in red as he realizes Justin had repeated his words. “They are when you look at me.” He pulls me close and his kiss is oddly gently as his finger trails over my cheek.
“I think you’re right. I’m going to go with the purple and white one.” Laying the invitation on the coffee table I stand and he does too. “Come to bed, you don’t have to sleep on the couch tonight.” I don’t look back as I make my way to my room. He stops me with a hand catching mine.
“No, Ria, I’ll go home tonight. You have said and done more than I had hoped for when I came here. I didn’t bring any protection, not expecting us to make love tonight. We’ve waited two years, we can wait another six weeks for our wedding night. Besides, I don’t want Justin to hear us or feel uncomfortable with me here.”
Going up on my tip toes, I slide my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. “I didn’t wait because of some sentimental vision of my wedding night. I waited for the right man, now that I’ve found him, I don’t want to wait another moment. I thought you said we could have two, why do we need protection when we are to have them soon? I don’t want anything between us, the first time or the next time. Besides, Justin sleeps like he’s dead and will be happy to find you here.”
He’s trying to fight the need, then he stops fighting and his kiss is fierce and fire all over again. I don’t even realize we make it to my bedroom until he closes the door and flicks on the lights. When he lets me slide down his body, my knees threaten to give out and it takes a moment to get air into my lungs. His hands undo the knot of the robe and he goes still as he takes in what I’m wearing.
I had stopped at a shop I’d longed to go into for years, but felt silly wasting money on something no one but I was going to see. The moment I laid eyes on it, though, I knew it was perfect. Made of white lace that covers my breasts and allows more to be seen then it covers, there is a strip under my breasts made of lace, small pearls, and little crystals. Below the strip it’s sheer and the matching lace panties can be seen underneath.
Drake’s eyes darken to a sapphire blue as they sweep over me and back up to my face. When he takes a step closer, I shake my head and take a step back. “No, it’s my turn, this time.” When he takes another step closer, my hand comes up to his chest and the feel of him beneath my hand has my fingers lingering. “Please, Drake.” I plead, as I lean forward to press a kiss against his chest. A thrill goes through me to see him shudder at my touch.
“Okay, yes.” Stepping back, he pulls off his shirt and my eyes cling to his body as he undresses. His hands seem to work far too slowly when he gets to his jeans. Then time speeds up when he pushes the jeans, along with his boxers, down. My stomach dips at the sight of him thick and straining, and I’m wet and aching again with longing. Pulling back the covers he gets into bed. It’s a queen bed and he’s so big he takes up most of it. He looks so right, where I have dreamed of him for so long.
Lying on his back, he holds out his hand. Taking it as I kneel down, I kiss him on the chest. My hand comes up to stroke with curiosity and wonder at his beautiful body. His muscles are made from hard work and heavy lifting, not from hours in
the gym. My mouth follows my fingers and I flick out my tongue to taste his skin. Heaven, silky soft and lightly hairy, his chest is almost as good as the taste of his mouth. I find a flat male nipple as tight as my own, the tip of my tongue teases, and he moans my name. Strong hands go into my hair and he tugs me up to his mouth. His kiss is enticing as a hand slides down the front of me, along the place where lace meets skin. Breathless, shaking my head, I push away. He moans my name with longing and I love knowing I can make him as needy as he makes me.
He shifts, and the hard length of him presses against my hip. I’m driven by need to touch and learn the feel of him and move down his body. Up close, he’s daunting and I’m wondering how he’ll feel inside me. Lightly, I trail a finger down the length of him and Drake shivers. My body clenches deep inside with need, and I’m hungry to taste him as he tasted me. Leaning down, I lick up from the base to the tip. The taste of him is exotic and heady. My name comes out of him in a shaky moan and it makes me bolder. He’s so thick, I know I won’t be able to take much, but I open my mouth and suck him as deeply as my greedy mouth can take. I move up and down on him and my hand begins to stroke him where my mouth can’t reach. His hand covers my own as he shows me how to stroke him. Excitement has me trying to take him deeper and he warns me. I don’t move away, only suck him deeper. When he floods my mouth, I swallow and savor the result of pleasing him. The taste is salty, thick, and sweet to me knowing it’s because of me.
Drake pulls me up to rest me on his chest. A hand strokes through my hair as he looks down at me. “Thank you, that was amazing, you are amazing. That isn’t something I would have asked of you so soon, but I’m not ashamed to tell you I’ve dreamed of your mouth on my cock, almost as often as your pussy riding my cock.” I blush at his words and he smiles as he rolls over so that I’m underneath him. “My sweet, shy, little virgin. The things I’ve dreamt about doing with you would make you so red you’d faint. We are going to do them all, and you’ll come and beg for more. I promise.”
