by Amy Sumida
“It's okay, Uncle Thor.” Brevyn wrapped his arms around Thor's thick neck.
Thor gave another rough cry and pulled Brevyn into a tight hug. I swallowed roughly then quietly shooed everyone out of the room; sending most of my men home with the God Squad. They moved somberly and respectfully past Thor as he sobbed brokenly. Only Odin and Arach remained behind after the quiet exodus.
“Son.” Odin knelt beside Thor and slid his arm around Thor's shoulders. “I'm so sorry; you know I loved her too.”
“Dad,” Thor sobbed and pulled Odin into his hug with Brevyn. “Both of my children are dead.”
“But both are not lost to you.” Odin stroked Brevyn's hair pointedly.
“I love you,” Brevyn said simply to Thor.
Thor sniffed and nodded. “I love you too, Son... uh, Brevyn.”
“You can call me son if you like,” Brevyn offered innocently. “My daddy won't mind.”
I glanced at Arach and saw him nodding at Brevyn. Our son's new dragon form had eased all sorts of Arach's issues. He was confident enough to share Brevyn now. I took his hand and squeezed it in silent gratitude, and Arach smiled softly at me.
“I'd like that,” Thor whispered. “Thank you, Son. Now, go to your parents; they need a hug too.”
Brevyn nodded, kissed Thor's cheek, and then moved out of his embrace. Odin took his place except he held Thor instead of the other way around. I had to look away; it was too much sorrow to witness. I felt like an interloper. And Brevyn was running toward me with a sweet smile; I had to focus on him. As Thor cried in his father's arms—as they cried together—Arach and I rejoiced in the safe return of our child. We hugged him between us and trembled with relief.
“I told you not to be scared,” Brevyn said to both of us.
“Yes, you did.” Arach stroked Brevyn's hair back; it had been getting darker and darker with every passing year and now, it was nearly the same shade as Odin's.
“You were so brave,” I whispered to Brevyn. “I'm proud of you.”
“I'll miss her.” Brevyn tried to look over at Thrud's corpse, but I resolutely blocked her from his sight. “It was the magic, Mother. Every god Thrud killed made her more mean. She wasn't like that. She was mad but it was the magic that made her bad.”
“Taking things that aren't yours can darken your soul, Brev,” I said gently. “Especially when the things you steal are magic. I'm not surprised that it changed Thrud. But you can remember her as she was before and keep your sister alive in your heart.”
Brevyn nodded and snuggled within my arms. I got to my feet, carrying him, and Arach stood with us. I gave one last long look at Odin and Thor and then took Arach's hand and headed for the tracing room.
Chapter Forty-Five
Fallon and Sam rushed us as soon as Arach, Brevyn, and I stepped out of Pride Palace's tracing room. They were anxiously standing before the entrance with Rian, Lesya, and Zariel. As the children hugged me, Fallon blurted an apology and then launched into an explanation of how Thrud had stolen Brevyn.
It was as I'd expected; Thrud had compelled Thor to take her past my wards and into Pride Palace, where she then compelled my lions to stand down as she kidnapped Brevyn. The children were the only ones she'd left alone, but the adults couldn't move out of Thrud's order and so the poor things had just cried and run about the palace, trying to get someone to snap out of it. Thrud's death had finally freed them, and then the Squad had returned with some of my men and explained what had happened.
I waved off the apologies and herded my children into the dining room where the rest of my men, my Intare, and the God Squad waited. Brevyn and Rian held hands between Arach and me while Lesya took my other hand. We moved past my lions, who reached out to touch or nuzzle me as I walked by—it's a lion thing—and then reached the section of the table where the Squad was seated. I nodded at them but moved toward my men, who congregated around the fireplace. The Wolf had receded now that we were all safe, and Trevor was back in his man form; clothed and cradling Vero in his arms. As soon as I saw my infant son, my breasts screamed at me in protest. It had been far too long since I'd fed Vero and the spell restraining my breast milk had been stretched to its limits. I hurried over to Trevor and snatched our son away from him.
“Sorry, Honey-Eyes, but I'm in pain here,” I growled as I turned to face the fireplace and dropped the shoulder of my gown. That V neckline came in handy. Vero latched on, and I sighed in relief. “Can you grab me a tea towel or something to cover myself?”
“Sure, Minn Elska,” Trevor said with laughter in his voice as he headed to the kitchen.
Kirill was already in the kitchen with Toby, making coffee and tea for everyone. A few minutes after Trevor went in, they came out with trays full of carafes and mugs. Then Trevor stepped out behind them with a kitchen towel. He draped the towel over my shoulder, and I angled it to cover my breast and Vero's head before I went to sit in the chair Trevor had vacated. Trevor stood at my shoulder and played with my hair as I fed our son. I looked up and met Azrael's gaze; he was seated in the chair across from mine with his wings hidden. He gave me a soft smile, and I smiled back. I knew exactly what he was thinking about; our twin boys that were due to be born next. Another set of twin, winged sons. The thought made me smile and cringe at the same time.
I put my attention back on the children who were already born. Vero was warm and solid in my arms while the other children gathered around my feet and leaned against my legs for comfort. The scariness was over, but fear can take awhile to leave the body, and they needed their mommy. Kirill and Arach came to sit with us; Kirill with a cup of tea for me that he placed on the small, round table beside my chair.
“Thank you, honey,” I murmured.
My body was finally getting the message that it was over. The goddess who had been hunting me was dead, the Godalypse averted, and my family was safe. I sighed and moved Vero over to the other side. Now, I just needed Thor and Odin to return.
“Now that it's over, can we talk about super-Vervain?” Finn asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “What was with the glowing beams of light shooting out of your eyes and the robotic way you killed everyone?”
I looked pointedly at Finn and then at my children.
“They're not listening, Vervain,” Finn huffed as he waved a hand at the kids.
He was right; they were still in shock, huddled together against my legs like puppies.
“You were a superhero, Tima?” Aidan, one of my lions, asked.
“Not exactly,” I answered Aidan before I did Finn. “It was my star. Vainamoinen strapped Odin and me in that magic-stealing machine and it was separating my star. I asked it to help me, and it took over. It destroyed the machine and then the Finnish Gods.”
“It saved my life,” Arach murmured as he reached out and stroked my cheek adoringly. “You saved my life, A Thaisce.”
“Daddy, were you hurt?” Rian asked as he climbed onto Arach's lap to stare at him with wide, worried eyes.
Brevyn scrambled up after his brother, and Arach wrapped our sons in a tight embrace.
“I was hurt, but Mommy healed me,” Arach said solemnly to our boys and then went back to smiling at me.
“Why is Brevyn naked?” Lesya asked suddenly, just like the child in The Emperor's New Clothes.
We all looked at Brevyn, and my son giggled. Naked time; kids love it.
“I'll go grab him some clothes,” Az offered and headed upstairs.
“Brevyn shifted into a dragon again,” I said to Lesya. “And he helped us defeat the goddess who kidnapped him.”
“The bad lady?” Lesya asked.
“She was my sister once, like you,” Brevyn said. “But she went crazy.”
“Oh,” Lesya said as if she understood completely.
“Lesya, why don't you go sit on your daddy's lap?” I whispered to her.
Lesya looked over at Kirill, who was staring into the fire blankly, and then back at me. I nodded at her. It had taken Kirill
a long time to heal from what Niyarvirezi had done to him. His wounds hadn't completely vanished until he died. Death had washed Kirill clean and then our daughter helped to bring him back. I knew Lesya would help heal him now.
“Daddy?” Lesya tapped Kirill's knee hesitantly.
Kirill blinked and focused on his daughter. She lifted her arms to him in a silent request, and his expression softened then brightened into a smile as he lifted her onto his lap and hugged her close. Kirill's long braid swept forward as he embraced our daughter and shuddered. He breathed her scent in deeply and then looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and nodded gratefully.
I'd comfort him later, but right now, Kirill needed Lesya; his innocent miracle that had nothing to do with the nastiness that had been forced on him. As much as Kirill knew that woman hadn't been me, she had worn my face and made me complicit in his torment. It was all kinds of twisted and the only thing that could start the healing process was something pure. Lesya's light would reach far deeper into Kirill's darkness than mine could; at least right now.
“I love you,” I mouthed at Kirill, and his smile reappeared.
“Daddy, were you hurt too?” Lesya asked Kirill.
Kirill eased back to look at her. “I vas, but I'm feeling better already, Kotyonok. Holding you makes everything better.”
Lesya beamed up at him and my chest constricted. I loved them both so damn much.
“So, can we rely on our superstar now? Or your super star, rather?” Pan asked me.
“I doubt it,” I huffed. “It seems to have a mind of its own. Sometimes it will grant my wishes and sometimes it ignores me completely.”
“Sounds just like you,” Re teased me.
“But it won't let you die,” Azrael added before I could respond to Re. He strode over to us and handed Brevyn's clothes to Arach then resumed his seat across from me. “We can at least rely upon that.”
I shrugged. The Star had been slow to help me this time. It left me far less confident in it than Az was.
“Odin,” Hades said in relief as another of my husbands walked in. “Where's Thor?”
“My son is grieving.” Odin joined us by the fire. The seats there were taken so he pulled out a chair from the dining table and sat there with the Squad. “He's going to need some time. He asked me to look after the God Squad for awhile.”
“He's...” I gaped at Odin. “He's leaving the God Squad? The team he created?”
“Temporarily.” Odin gave me a heavy look.
“He blames me,” I whispered.
“No, Vervain.” Odin shook his head. “He's just a little broken. First Ull and now, Thrud; he's lost both of his children. One not as much as the other, but Brevyn isn't Ull anymore. It's a tragedy when a father outlives a child but two? Thor is...”
“Destroyed,” I finished. “I would be.”
Odin nodded. “Thrud used the magic she collected to hide her movements from Thor. On top of the loss of his child, Thor is also feeling guilty and betrayed. He doesn't think he watched her close enough.”
“That's not true,” I protested. “He couldn't have known that she had that kind of power.”
“I know,” Odin agreed. “We all know that, but Thor needs to realize it for himself. He will; when his grief has run its course.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Blue asked.
I looked at him in surprise; Blue and Thor had never gotten along. I'd been dating Thor when Blue came into my life and went all crazy Vampire God on me. Thor tolerated Blue after I gave him back his sanity, but that's all.
“Thor's a good man,” Blue said to my look. “I know he doesn't like me much, but I'd be happy to do what I can for him.”
“He just needs time.” Odin looked around the table at all the weary faces. “I think we all do. This latest battle has taken a lot out of us.”
Odin looked back at me, and we shared a silent conversation.
It killed me to see you with him, his peacock eyes said. To just watch helplessly as he touched you.
It killed me to be with him, my gaze said back. But we didn't die; he did.
Odin nodded and smiled softly. We would heal. We would forget and move on. Worse had been done to us, and we had recovered. We would recover from this as well.
“We survived,” I said aloud to everyone. “Despite the power they had, we triumphed. They're gone; we won. Remember that when you lay in your bed tonight and their ghosts come to haunt you. Only then can you drive them away.”
“You go through this every time, don't you, Vervain?” Brahma asked with soft wonder. “You get taken and tortured; your weaknesses exploited. And after you get home, we expect you to let it go and move on as if nothing happened. To pick yourself up and head into the next battle.”
“Not all of us expect that,” Horus protested stiffly. “Some of us have gone through hell before, and we know that its fires will either consume you or make you stronger. Vervain happens to love fire; it has always empowered her, even before her fey essence was released. Now, the rest of you need to learn from her example and temper yourselves with the pain instead of allowing it to break you.”
Hekate lifted a brow at her husband.
“Except for you, my love,” he added quickly. “You may break if you wish; I will put you back together again.”
“Like Humpty Dumpty?” Zariel asked innocently.
We all started laughing and that, as they say, is the best medicine of all.
Chapter Forty-Six
The Squad stayed late; celebrating and decompressing. I think a lot of them were hoping that Thor would show up; that he'd just trace over, walk out onto the veranda where we had moved our little celebration to, and tell us that he was sad but moving on. I know I did. But Thor didn't show. I got Apollo instead. After we returned from putting the children to bed, he approached me.
Apollo slid into the seat across from mine and set a serious stare on me. “Did those gods tell you what they did to my girls?”
I glanced at Odin, and he stared levelly at me; he'd back whatever I said. I looked at Apollo's tense expression. He knew the Muses were dead; he'd gone back to search Sampo again after we'd recovered Brevyn. Artemis and Torrent had gone with him, and they'd all just returned. I knew they wouldn't find anything, and I'd told them so; that the Muses had been killed by Ilmarinen's machine and that the machine left only dust behind. There wouldn't even be bodies for Apollo to bury. He'd still gone. I would have too if it had been my lovers who'd been taken. And I would be where he was now; asking what happened to them. But I wouldn't want to know the truth; not if it were so heinous. I couldn't tell Apollo that the Muses hadn't simply been killed for their magic, they'd also been raped as they waited their turn and slowly faded away, watching other gods in their pantheon be turned to dust while their bodies were used to feed the very machine that did the deed.
Bile rose in my throat as an image of Ilmarinen's face between my legs flashed in my mind.
“Vervain?” Apollo took my hand. “You can tell me; I want to know.”
“I saw the process,” I confessed. “Ilmarinen made me watch. It looked painful but it was also fast. I don't believe they suffered long. Still, it's horrible what happened to them, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to save them, Apollo.”
Apollo hung his head and started to cry. His sister bent over him to hug him, and he stood abruptly.
“Thank you, Vervain,” he whispered. “It's better to know the truth than to be left wondering. Imagination can be so much worse.”
Then Apollo rushed away with Artemis following close. Torrent let them go and took Apollo's vacated seat.
“What really happened to them?” Torrent asked in a whisper.
I shook my head; I wouldn't share that if I didn't have to. No one needed those thoughts in their minds. The Finnish Gods had gone past deception and dishonor into straight-up evil territory. I remembered then what Brevyn had said about Thrud not starting out evil; how taking magic from other gods had tainted her. Wh
y? Was it the act itself? Was it the god magic; some kind of reaction of several different magics being squished into a single body? Had killing all of those gods and taking their magic twisted the Finns as well?
Odin had tried to take magic once. His new body had originally belonged to a witch, and Odin thought that would give him the ability to take God magic like me. It did allow him to take magic but it wasn't strong enough to hold it; to control it. Odin had gone dark; literally. He had taken Teharon's twin brother's magic, and Tawiskaron had been a god of Darkness, just like his Uncle Tobadzistsini. Except Toby's Darkness was more about night than evil.
Tawiskaron had been called the Devious One by his people, the Destroyer, and his magic had nearly destroyed Odin. After that, Faerie and Alaric—the Consciousness of Faerie and the Void respectively—had revealed to me that I was the only one in existence who could take God magic safely. The unusual situation of my birth—or rebirth, rather—and all of the steps leading up to it, had created a unique individual who could not only take back the magic that Gods had taken from humans but who could also hold onto it without suffering horrible consequences.
