"There's so much cool stuff to play with." Charming presses his paw against the plastic of the bag, wanting to play with the ruined fragments in my apartment. "Why can't we stay here?"
So that I can take a nap before he gets bored and wanders off? No thanks.
I grab some kitten food and other stuff he could possibly need before heading out the front door.
"Let me out!" I hear Charming’s paws scratch at the entrapment of the kitty bookbag, earning a wide-eyed questioning stare from my boss. I was told to never take kids with me on shift if I had one. Does a kitten fall under that same category?
"Sorry, they're doing some work on my apartment," I apologize, not wanting to entirely lie. For the most part, it’s the truth, without including why said work was being done. Setting Charming down much to his protests. His eyes grow big at the magic cards on the worktable, and he’s likely imagining what fun it would be to knock over those towering stacks. Paws starting to inch that way, if only it weren't for the plastic covering.
"You feel better, Cat?" Heather asks me from her spot across the way, working on a pricing analysis. Some Pokémon stuff. It's nice to be back here at the game store instead of having to worry about HQ knocking down my door. Scratch that, HQ breaking down the door. They aren’t exactly what you would call stealthy when it comes to taking in wanted fugitives. Hell, I always joked in high school that I would be dead or in jail by this age. All jokes aside, I’m more or less a good person.
I nod, not feeling anywhere close to one hundred percent, but I put on a show. "I have a doctor's note around here somewhere."
Typical, scatterbrained Cat. I dig around in my pocket to find the paper I'm looking for. No, not that pocket. Finally reaching my left back pocket, I find it, much to my relief. Wait, no, that's a receipt. As if on cue, I see Charming chewing on a paper in his enclosure. How the fuck did he get to it? I could have sworn I didn't leave it in there with him. He’s too smart for his own good. I narrow my eyes at him, but he seems impervious to it. He has an innocent, questioning gaze.
"Mommy, this doesn't taste all that great. I didn't need this today. Why didn't you leave me with better snacks?" He coughs up the paper as I try to keep my temper even.
I shake my head. "Sorry," I mouth to them, not sure whether to laugh or scold the kitten at this moment. They seem to shrug it off, though. They all have cats of their own, so they probably have their fair share of cat stories.
"Can I say hi to him?" Heather asks, seeing the kitten. Charming's ears pop up at the question.
"Fuck yes! I wanna say hi to everyone!" Clearly, he's picked up on some fowl kitty language from Maori.
I carefully open the bag, getting the note from HQ out of his mouth. It has a chunk missing in the middle and corner, but it’s still pretty legible.
"Hey, I was using that," he protests. I pass him to Heather while wiping off the kitten slobber to give the note to Kent. "Sorry."
Kent takes a quick look at it, seeing it's legit, before putting it to the side. He wipes the kitten slobber off on his jeans.
"What did I miss?" I ask, taking a look around the store. Seems like HQ picked a hell of a weekend to mess up my work schedule; I see the new magic set prominently on display. Well, the booster boxes and prerelease kits for it, at least. If it had been up to me, I wouldn't have left the store short-staffed for that. "Sorry." I knew I was over apologizing, but I felt bad. Hopefully, they’ll be forgiving as this is the first time I’ve missed one of those events in my decade here.
How could I forget about that?
"It went alright. Sales numbers were outstanding." Kent nonchalantly nods. As they usually are with a new magic release.
"Colin stopped by the other day," Heather chimes in.
I pull out my phone to check on that, realizing I hadn't gotten back to Colin on movie night. The message I see sends fear creeping down my spine.
Help.
I immediately message back.
What's wrong? You okay?
Seconds feel like hours as the panic sets in. Did Susan for some reason go after my brother as well? That was low, even for her standards.
His reply is quick, though, much to my relief.
The James Bond movie got delayed again. I could strangle the boy for worrying me so much over such trivial things.
That’s a bummer, but I'm not sure the words demanding ‘help’ are the best for those situations.
"Everything okay?" Heather asks. She’s packed up to leave for the day, as the store was soon to be opened. Charming eyes the cards as if he's about to knock them over, before being distracted by Minx showing up. He sees the need to jump on the fluffer’s back.
"Hi. I'm Charming. Who are you?" he chirps at her, pleased to see another feline.
Minx sets him with her dead-eyed glare, and a few growls erupt from her form. She’s no doubt telling Charming he can fuck off. Cats are pretty genuine with their feelings, not letting fake feelings intrude. Minx not wanting the distraction of a cute kitten to lighten things up. Maybe she’d get along with Maori.
Chapter 3
Raven
I stare at the pictures of my children, lightly brushing my fingers across their faces. I miss them so fucking much. It’s been six months since I’ve gotten to hug either of them, ask them about their day, or stay up late trying to figure out their homework. Math classes have changed so much since I was in school. The triumph of being able to figure out their new system and rewarding ourselves with ice cream after the treacherous work was finished. So many missed texts from Cat are ignored as I deal with the trauma of pushing contacting her further back. Hell I wouldn’t be any good to see right now anyway, too likely to have an anger surge. And she didn’t deserve that, none of this was her fault. She couldn’t understand that specific pain either.
I could have seen my kids if I was willing to screw over someone else in the process. That isn’t what my children would want me to do, though. If they ever found out about something like that, it would have just made things worse. And I have no doubt with how self-righteous my ex-husband is, he would have no problem incriminating further.
As if on autopilot, I dial their number to see if their father will let me talk to them this one time.
He picks up on the first ring. “What do you want?” His voice is filled with resentment and hate. Well, that’s not the best way to start things.
“Can I talk to my kids?” I ask, fighting to keep the timid unsureness out of my voice.
He scoffs as if that’s not the right thing to call them after what I did. I’m not trying to tear apart the family. It’s just what happened at the revelation of discovering who I was. I suggested a unique route.
I hum happy, coming back from work early. I smile to myself as I see my hubby’s shoes by the staircase; this means I can surprise him. It’s a welcome change, as things haven’t been going the best lately. We’ve been arguing a lot. The kids hid in their rooms, as they didn’t understand what was going on, trying to keep the screams from reaching their ears. To the public eye, we have an enviable relationship.
“Babe, I’m home.” I climb up the spiral staircase of our picture-perfect suburban house, passing by pictures of the kiddos, and us, and past pets as I go up the wooden stairs.
To my surprise, he doesn’t say anything back in reply. Maybe he’s asleep. But the sounds I hear as I get closer to the bedroom door suggest otherwise.
“Babe, are you okay?” I call out, moving to open the door, and the sight before me is shocking.
Christina, my best friend, is riding him cowgirl style. Her c-cups tits bounce in the most mesmerizing way. He’s not sure what to do as I walk in. But I go down to the bed, seeing the opportunity to kiss her. Maybe this can be the start of something fun? Would that turn him on and put an end to the way how stale things have been?
“Raven, I’m sorry.” His face twists to one of pleasure, making it seem less than apathetic. “I wasn’t expecting you to come home so soon.” The words soun
ded as if he was blaming me, for going against the plan, by surprising him.
I’m unsure of what to do as I stand there. I’m not sure whether Christina’s body is enviable or if I just want her for myself. Sure, I’m not giving him all he needs, but there’s also the sanctity of marriage he literally just threw out the door. How long had this been going on?
My eyes start to space out, and I make myself leave the room. “Just make sure this is cleaned up before the kids come home,” I say flatly. Clean my face to be a pretty picture, live the perfect little sham of a lifestyle. Shutting the door behind me, to go to the office, as my head is spinning. My body feeling numb, not sure whether to be relieved or hurt by the revelation.
Dinner with the kids goes by quietly. Ask the kids about their day, the same spiel. They’re thrilled we ended up with pizza instead of the usual home-cooked meal. With all the thoughts rushing through my head, I couldn’t be bothered to cook. When we’re back in bed for the night, I turn towards my husband.
“Chad, you’ve barely said two words to me since I walked in on you and my friend earlier.” I reach for his shoulder, but he shrugs me off.
“What do you want me to say, Raven? You’ve been holding off on sex and practically finding reasons left and right to avoid getting down and dirty with me.” His tone is accusatory, as if it’s my fault. And maybe it is. Always the excuse of a migraine, or that I was always too tired.
“I’m sorry. Should we talk about an arrangement that would better suit your needs?” I offer.
I had a hard time to think it over after dinner. My initial reaction was to be turned on by my friend. Then as I pushed food around the plate, I knew this talk would eventually come around.
“If you need to seek other ways to relieve yourself, we can make something work.” But my response only seems to anger him more as his eyes flash, mouth set in lines. Only could guess what he would say next.
“You should be begging me not to do that again. Not accepting it!” He As if I was expected yells, expression frenzied. The fierceness of the words, causing hot, wet spit to splatter on my cheek. To him I should be on my knees, begging him not to. To give him every pleasure imaginable. But I must admit that going down on Christie sounds far more tempting.
My lips turn downwards. “I’m just not programmed that way, Chad. If you want to stay together for the sake of the kids, you can do whatever. Just please not under our roof while the kids can walk in and see it.” And I could go after what I wanted, needed, while allowing him his pleasures.
“How long have you known?” I’ve been sifting it through my mind for a while now. And I’m not sure if he’s talking about the affairs, or my feelings. I had some suspicions about the affairs, but I never went around confirming them. Just let him believe that I believed his constant late work nights.
“What?” I am confused.
“That you were a lesbian. Has this whole marriage been a lie to you?” That question. I’m surprised that he didn’t find out sooner. Before the kids, we went at it like bunnies. After they came along, there was always a reason not to. Was always going through the motions. Had my first suspicions after the first kid, but the second one nearly cemented it. I was a good girl, who did what her parents told her, instead of embracing what I wanted.
I suggest, “We can find other ways to make it work. Open up our marriage.”
Chad frantically shakes his head, not wanting to hear a word of it.
“You gave yourself to me that day we married. Did you know then?”
My eyes cast downward. I always had my suspicions after the kids. Sex with him was kind of just became going through the motions. Getting myself off in the shower after he’s fallen asleep after a sex session, Imaging things I’d never put into words. Finally getting my sweet release.
“Our parents …” I trail off. This had been my mother’s plan for me. Marry the high school boyfriend, go to school, have kids, the whole package. It’s how things were written out to be.
“Do you love me?” Chad demands. In a normal situation, I don’t think that it would be fair of him to ask that question of me after what I just walked in on with the two of them.
“Yes.” I nod, hoping he won’t delve more into details. “And I love the kids.”
But of course, Chad wants to probe the rising issue more. “What way do you love me?”
“You’re my best friend,” I whisper. I lay a loving hand on his shoulder, which he throws off as if burned. I ty to hide it, knowing this must be hard for him. “We have a lot in common. We met during our card-playing games back in high school.
“Are you in love with me?” Chad asks, needing to know. My head bends down. If I told him yes, that won’t be a complete truth. “Exactly what I thought.” He scoffs. “Pack your things.” I don’t make a move. “NOW!”
“Dear, don’t you think you’re taking things a bit out of proportion? There are other ways to handle this. It’s late.” It’s already eleven at night. Where the hell can I even go right now?
“Don’t ‘dear’ me!” Chad sneers, any image of the man I loved gone. “I’m not going to have my good Christian children grow up with a lesbian mother! I don’t need them to get those types of satanic ideas in their head!”
Oh, so that’s what this is about. My family is Christian, but they’re more of the ‘love your neighbor’ type. His side of the family is made up of more strict believers. And who is he to talk?
“Why are you yelling about Christian values when you committed adultery?” I throw back at him. He doesn’t have room to talk. Him and his white male privilege thinking he’s above everything and anything. Not that I was in the right, but still.
He shoves me a piece of paper, that’s crumbled up from his pocket. It’s a check for ten grand. He must have gotten it ready before this whole talk, if things didn’t go his way. “That should be enough to get you started back up somewhere else. I’m going to sleep in the guest room. I don’t want you here in the morning.”
“Can I at least say goodbye to the kids first?” I plead. This wasn’t how things should have gone. I should have forced myself to fake it some more. Made it believable.
The harshness in his eyes screams no.
“You ruined things enough for me already. Making it so the rest of the guys at the church will outwardly show pity while inwardly laughing that you decided women were more suited to your tastes,” Chad lets out a harsh laugh. “You weren’t as secretive as you thought.” Of course, because appearances mean everything in this world. “Why couldn’t I be enough?” His question begging.
Once again, I feel like I should be asking that question, though I know the answer to it. We haven’t had sex in months, and realistically, it was only a matter of time before the two got together. I could see his straying eyes looking at her in ways he once looked at me. It was summer, plans with the kids were busy. This was now kind of a bummer, considering my dear friend is probably off the call list for whom I could run to for help.
“They don’t want anything to do with you,” Chad coldly tells me.
I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. My kids have hated me ever since I walked out that night without a single goodbye. I left a note on the fridge, but I have no doubt Chad tossed it out.
“Don’t call this number again,” Chad says before the phone call is disconnected.
When did he become so harsh? Or maybe I was just now noticing. Was all the rest of the time that I knew him just an illusion?
“Miss you guys,” I whisper to the picture. Tears fall down my face onto a photo of the two of my kids. They’re wearing Santa hats, as it was a Christmas photo. We always had tacky pictures like those, whether it be at the beach or for holidays. Still, it’s one of the things that I appreciate about our marriage. Unfortunately, that was the only one I could save, as Chad had a blast destroying every piece of me in their life. Christie called me afterwards to let me know in detail, how she was being the replacement mom.
Chapter
4
Charming
Card, card, card.
Stack, stack, stack go the pieces of cardboard crack.
Where is the push, slide, or chew? My paws are just yearning to go after them, so much so it hurts. So many missed opportunities to make the most of card playing, I don't think Cat knows how to play right. Whenever I yell my suggestions at her, she gives m
e the stink eye.
I miss Maori. Why couldn't she leave me out in the woods while she was at work? I would have been fine. Better than okay, even. Hell, last time I was making friends with some spiders before Cat, and Maori decided to kill that fun. I woke up to find my newfound friends missing. Life's tough. The spider dudes even made a nest for me to lay in.
Some of the cards going in that big glass case thingy. Another fun area that Cat won't let me play in. It’s a big glass case thing, that people aren’t even allowed to lean on apparently. A bullshit worry about it breaking. If it broke there’d be so many toys to play with! Some cards going into a box, or a pile, or whatever madness mommy uses for her methodology.
Sometimes taking cards from binders to sell to a customer, while I stay tormented and stuck in this bullshit kitty bag. I try to meow at them so they’ll take me out of this misery, but I remain in torment.
Minx is a dirty ass bitch. She teases me about me having to be in here for no real reason. Sure, I knocked over a worktable worth of cards, but if she didn't want me to knock them over, they shouldn't have been begging me to do so. Common sense, aye?
"Mommy," I whine from my containment as she's printing off papers. It really is pure torture that she has me in here. I could jump up on the printer and investigate, but no, I'm in my prison cell. No inspecting papers for me as they come out of that contraption. Did she not understand cats at all?
The One's You Love (Cat Johnson Chronicles Book 2) Page 2
