by Teri Wilson
“Oh.” She winced as she sat up and caught her first glimpse of Finn slumped on the sofa. He was already fully dressed, cowboy boots and all. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
Finn looked terrible. He was still the same handsome man who had the annoying habit of making her heart swoop every time she looked at him, but there were new dark circles under his eyes. Even the heavy dose of fresh scruff on his jaw couldn’t hide the fact that his complexion was a good shade or two paler than normal.
“Good morning. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” His voice was stiff as he closed the strange jeweled book in his hand. “I got you some coffee. It’s decaf, so it should be safe.”
He nodded toward one of the nightstands flanking the bed, where a steaming latte sat waiting for her with a heart swirled into the foam, and her guilt magnified tenfold.
He really should have stayed in the bed last night. For goodness’ sake, it was so large that they each could have easily spread out like starfish and still not even touched one another.
Maybe.
Then again, maybe not. The last time she’d slept all night in a bed with Finn, she’d woken up convinced that she should marry him.
“Thank you.” She reached for the latte and took a sip. Pumpkin spice, her favorite. She could still manage to drink it even though the smell of coffee beans sometimes made her nauseous.
But what didn’t make her nauseous these days?
Finn stood and tucked the book he’d been reading into his duffel bag, then shifted awkwardly from one booted foot to the other. “You said your doctor’s appointment is at eleven, right?”
She nodded.
He picked up his duffel, jammed his Stetson on his head and strolled toward the door. “We should leave in half an hour. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
And then with a quiet click of the suite’s carved wooden door, he was gone.
Okay, then. Clearly it hadn’t been a magical wedding night.
But she’d been clear about the terms of their marriage from the very beginning. She didn’t have a single thing to feel guilty about. Well, other than Finn’s serious case of bedhead this morning and the fact that she felt perfectly rested. And maybe, just maybe, that she’d basically run for cover the night before at the first hint of sexual tension between the two of them.
That had been a very necessary moment of self-preservation, though. Surely Finn would get over it. He couldn’t stay grumpy forever, could he?
Avery bathed, dressed and met Finn downstairs in half an hour, as requested. He smiled politely at her, carried her luggage and helped her into the truck, but something still seemed off. Despite every effort to dote on her, Finn barely looked at her. Avery should have been thrilled. After all, this was exactly the sort of arrangement she’d wanted. No risk. No pressure. No sex.
Absolutely no sex.
Yet she felt strangely hollow as they drove to her doctor’s appointment. When they hit the open highway and Finn relaxed beside her, dropping his right hand to his thigh, she had to stop herself from reaching for it and weaving her fingers through his. She’d grown accustomed to his touch over their time together, and it felt strange now to be so close to him without feeling the brush of his skin against hers. She missed it more than she wanted to admit.
Be careful what you wish for.
The thought spun around and around in her mind as they wound their way past clusters of trees in saffron yellows and fiery reds. Bear’s Paw, the town where her obstetrician was located, was situated halfway between Rust Creek Falls and Billings—close enough to a major medical facility in case something went wrong with her pregnancy, but still remote enough to guarantee a modicum of privacy. Avery only hoped Finn had never dated anyone who worked at the practice.
For the first time since their epic argument in Great Gulch, she considered what Finn had told her about his father’s efforts to find brides for all six of his sons, to the tune of a million dollars. It sounded crazy. Then again, Maximilian Crawford was definitely the sort of man who got what he wanted, regardless of the cost.
Perhaps she shouldn’t be so quick to judge Finn for systematically dating his way through the eligible female population of Montana. As he’d said, they’d been nothing but meaningless setups. Somehow, though, that almost made it worse. He’d been so intent on proving he couldn’t be dragged to the altar that he’d acted like a kid in a candy store. And now here he was, right where he’d never wanted to be. Married.
She couldn’t help but feel like the consolation prize. And still, all she wanted right then in the world was to hold his hand. Unbelievable.
“Almost there.” Finn glanced at her, but his smile was stiff as he exited the highway and turned onto Bear Paw’s quaint Main Street.
The town square, with its white gazebo in the center and surrounding mom-and-pop businesses, reminded Avery of both Great Gulch and Rust Creek Falls. There was certainly no shortage of small-town charm in Montana. Raising a family here would be so different than it would in a big city like Dallas. The thought put a lump in Avery’s throat, and she wasn’t sure why.
Finn’s truck slowed to a stop in front of a redbrick building with an arch made of antlers hanging over the entryway.
“Here we are.” He nodded.
“Yes, here we are.” There was a telltale waver in her voice that had Finn’s gaze narrowing in her direction.
For the first time since the night before when she’d leaped out of his arms, he looked at her...really looked.
“Hey.” He cupped her face in one of his big, warm hands, and the simple contact was such a relief that Avery nearly wept.
Was she in for another five full months of out-of-control emotions? Because it was really getting old.
“You’re not nervous about this, are you?” Finn said as his thumb made gentle circular motions on her cheek.
She was most definitely nervous about seeing the doctor. Terrified, actually.
Despite her recent success with the baby goat, she had no clue what she was doing. She’d been such a mess lately. What if the stress of keeping the pregnancy a secret from Finn for so long had somehow harmed the baby?
She’d never forgive herself if that were true. “I’m a little nervous.”
“Listen to me.” He leaned his forehead against hers, and as his gaze fixed with hers, the new frostiness between them thawed ever so slightly. “Everything is going to be fine. Okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
With Finn there, it seemed easier to believe. And if anything was indeed wrong, at least she wouldn’t have to handle it all on her own.
Her chest grew tight as she climbed out of the truck and walked up the steps leading into building. Being cut off from her family stung now more than ever. If she had a difficult pregnancy or if her baby had health challenges, her parents were willing to let her handle things all by herself. She could hardly believe it. She’d never even set eyes on her son or daughter, and she couldn’t imagine ever leaving them in this position. Totally and completely alone.
Except Finn was here, just as he’d promised. And he’d taken a vow to be by her side, no matter what happened.
The gravity of such a promise hit her hard as she checked in with the receptionist and filled out all the necessary medical forms. This was serious. There were pages and pages of questions to be answered and information to process. It all seemed to pass in a worrisome, overwhelming blur until at last she was wearing a paper gown and lying on an examination table beside an ultrasound machine.
After spending most of the morning in the waiting room, Finn now sat, stone-faced, in a chair facing the dark screen. Upon Avery’s request, the nurse had gone to find him so they could both catch their first glimpse of the baby at the same time. There was still a layer of tension between them that hadn’t been there before their night in the honeymoon suite at Maverick Manor. Al
though if she was truly being honest with herself, the strain in their relationship had raised its ugly head when she’d first told him about the pregnancy. It was just much more obvious since the tender moment they’d shared when he carried her over the threshold.
He was angry, and Avery could totally understand why. The secret had gotten away from her faster than she could figure out what to do with it, and now she was paying the price. Just because Finn was so eager to put a ring on her finger didn’t mean he’d forgiven her.
Nor did it mean that he loved her.
Still, she was so glad to have him sitting there beside her that she could have cried.
“Okay, let’s see what we have here.” The doctor smiled at Avery and covered her belly with some type of gel.
Then she pressed a device that reminded Avery of a large computer mouse over her abdomen, and the screen lit up with moving shadows in various shades of gray.
The doctor confirmed what they both already knew—Avery’s due date lined up perfectly with their night together in Oklahoma as the time of conception. But what Avery wanted most of all was a clear view of the baby, yet she couldn’t make sense of the blurry images on the monitor.
And then all the breath in her body seemed to bottle up in her chest as a delicate profile came into view, followed by a glimpse of a tiny foot with five tiny, perfect toes.
“Are you two interested in having one of those trendy gender reveal parties? Or should I go ahead and spill the beans?” the doctor asked.
“Spill,” Avery said. “Please.”
There’d been enough surprises already. Besides, how could she have a gender reveal party when her own family wasn’t even speaking to her?
“In that case, there she is,” the doctor said, smiling.
Finn’s gaze flew to meet Avery’s, and all the things they couldn’t seem to say to each other—all the hidden fears and insecurities, all the doubts, tempered by an aching, raw longing for connection—melted away.
There she is.
A little girl. Their daughter—hers and Finn’s.
Chapter Twelve
Avery was relieved that seeing the sonogram alleviated some of the tension between her and Finn. A week later, they were still getting along well enough that the Crawfords seemed to genuinely believe they were in love. Even Melba and Old Gene had fallen for the ruse, showering them with congratulations and best wishes upon their return to Rust Creek Falls.
They’d moved into Finn’s suite at the Ambling A, which so far had been spacious enough for them to move about in separate orbits. At night, Avery slept in Finn’s king-size bed, with its rustic Aspen log frame and sheets that smelled of sandalwood, hay and warm leather. Of Finn.
Her husband camped out on the oversize leather sofa adjacent to the bed, far enough away to avoid any accidental physical contact, but close enough for Avery to grow accustomed to the rhythmic sound of his breathing in the dark. He hadn’t touched her at all since she’d taken up residence in his home—not even a casual hug or innocent brush of his fingertips—and somehow hearing him sleep so close by made her feel a little less lonely. A little less like an outsider on Crawford territory.
They weren’t going to get away with the lack of physical affection for long—not if everyone was going to remain convinced that they were actual, real newlyweds. But Avery was grateful for a little breathing room.
By the time she and Finn joined the rest of the Crawford clan at the annual Rust Creek Falls Halloween costume party, she’d foolishly begun to believe she had enough of a handle on her emotions to withstand a lengthy public charade.
She was wrong, of course.
So.
Very.
Wrong.
The party was held in the high school gym, which someone had spent a serious amount of effort transforming into a Halloween-themed delight. There was a maze made of hay bales off to the side, swags of twisted orange and black crepe paper and more fake spiderwebs than Avery had ever seen in one place before. As promised, Melba had made her famous caramel apples, and when Avery and Finn arrived, children dressed as ghosts, ballerinas and superheroes had clearly been enjoying the sweet treats, as evidenced by their sticky chins.
Avery couldn’t help but smile. She’d never been to a party like this one before, not even when she was a child. She couldn’t remember ever going trick-or-treating, either. Halloween night in Dallas always meant the mayor’s posh Masquerade Ball, held at an exclusive hotel overlooking the city skyline. Invitations to the fancy masked ball were coveted, and Avery and her parents were always regulars. When she’d been a little girl, she’d stayed at home with the nanny and watched while her parents headed off to the party, dressed in opulent Halloween finery.
But this, she thought as she looked around the gym, this is what a Halloween party should look like.
She loved it all, from the happy children and homemade treats to the makeshift dance floor where an adult dressed as Frankenstein’s monster was leading a group in a dance to the “Monster Mash.”
“Wait a minute.” Avery took a closer look at the face beneath the green makeup. “Is that your father out there on the dance floor?”
Finn shook his head and let out a wry laugh. “It certainly looks that way.”
“Hey, it’s about time the lovebirds arrived.” Wilder, wrapped in bandages to look like a mummy, handed Finn a beer and gave Avery a peck on the cheek. “The gang’s all here.”
He wasn’t kidding. The Crawfords were camped out at two adjoining picnic tables right in the center of the action. All five of Finn’s brothers were there, accompanied, of course, by their respective wives and children—Logan and Sarah with baby Sophia, Xander and Lily, Knox and Genevieve, Hunter with Wren. Since Avery’s surprise wedding to Finn, Wilder and Hunter were the only two remaining single brothers, and neither had dates for the costume party—unless Hunter’s daughter counted. Avery certainly thought so. They looked like the perfect father-daughter Halloween duo, with Wren dressed in a puffy tulle princess gown and Hunter wearing a large cardboard rectangle covered in tinfoil strapped to his chest.
“What are you supposed to be, dude?” Finn cast a dubious glance at Hunter’s cardboard accessory. Its tinfoil covering was starting to look a little worse for wear. “A robot?”
Hunter’s face fell. “No.”
“He’s a knight in shining armor,” Avery said, winking at Wren. “Obviously. You and your daddy match, don’t you?”
“Yes!” Wren giggled and pointed at the plastic crown perched atop her silky blond hair. “I’m a princess, and Daddy is a knight.”
“I totally see it,” Avery said, struggling to keep a straight face as Finn shook his head at Hunter.
“Nope. That—” he pointed at Hunter’s sad silver shield “—is weak. Don’t tell me you couldn’t come up with a more convincing knight getup.”
Hunter glowered at him.
Avery thought it was sweet that Hunter had gone to the effort to try to make a costume.
“Cut your brother some slack.” Avery gave Finn a playful little shoulder bump and then froze when she realized what she’d done.
She’d initiated contact—a clear violation of their unspoken agreement not to touch one another, because as they both knew, one thing could very well lead to another. Before the marriage, they’d agreed to no sex. But since the wedding night, they hadn’t so much as kissed. Somewhere along the way, the no-sex rule had snowballed into something else. It was as if they were both going out of their way to avoid any physical contact whatsoever.
Avery crossed her arms, uncrossed them and then crossed them again, painfully aware of every part of her body relative to Finn’s. Less than inch of space existed between her arm and his chest, and the air in that space felt electric all of a sudden.
A shiver coursed through her while she tried to concentrate on what Hunter was saying
.
“I’m doing the best I can.” He rested a hand on top of Wren’s slender shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “You’ll understand one day when you have kids.”
Finn practically choked on his beer.
“When’s that going to be, anyway?” Wilder grinned at Finn. “You were in such a hurry to put a ring on this lady’s finger, I figure you’ll be wanting to start a family sooner rather than later.”
Avery didn’t dare look at Finn. If she did, the truth surely would be written all over her face.
“Give us time” was all he said in response, but when the conversation turned to other, less panic-inducing matters, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
Little fires seemed to skitter over her skin everywhere he touched her. Her brain told her to pull away, to save herself. But her body had other ideas. Every cell in her body seemed to sigh with relief at once again being so near to the man she’d married...the man she was afraid she was starting to care for far more than she’d ever intended.
Their eyes met, and then his gaze flitted to her lips. He quickly looked away.
It’s all just for show. She needed that reminder. They were newlyweds. His family was watching...the entire town was watching. They needed to make it look real. After all, that’s why they’d come to the party dressed in matching bride and groom costumes.
She just wished it didn’t feel so real.
She did her best to shift her attention elsewhere. Maximilian seemed to be hitting the dance floor with a different partner every time the song changed. His partners ranged from small children he let stand on his feet as he spun them around to women his own age, and everyone else in between. Avery couldn’t help but laugh. For a man who seemed so invested in marrying off his sons, he sure was a flirt. The biggest one in Rust Creek Falls, so it seemed.
“Avery.” Little Wren tugged on the sleeve of Avery’s white dress to get her attention.
“Yes, sweetie?” Avery took a seat on the picnic bench so that they were eye to eye. Finn’s fingertips slid casually to the back of her neck, where he toyed languidly with a lock of her hair.
