Jesse beamed, clutching the piece of paper Luke had given him in one hand and holding Luke’s hand with the other.
***
Jesse and Luke sat side by side at the back of the classroom watching Phillip and Ryan Attah’s presentation. Phillip was charming as usual, moving his hands in expressive gestures as he spoke and making jokes as he went along. He clearly had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand, and Jesse was impressed. Ryan Attah was equally skilled in delivering his presentation, although he had a milder, more soft-spoken manner. Jesse had always admired Ryan Attah. Not only was he strikingly handsome with his smooth mahogany-colored skin and sharp, high cheekbones, but he was also one of the most intelligent students in the class. Jesse could see that Ryan would offer a lot of competition for getting into graduate school. Phillip was visibly fawning over Ryan as he presented, making Jesse giggle. They had both done a great job, and the class applauded loudly when they finished their presentation and answered a few questions.
Professor Ndlovu boomed out when the applause died down: “That was good, but there was a lot of room for improvement. While you gave a good overview of play therapy and mood disorders, you didn’t even touch on the social elements involved in certain types of play therapy. I hope that your written assignment is more comprehensive.” Ndlovu’s voice was stern and his tone was harsh, leaving Phillip with a look of shock. Phillip just nodded his head and went to his seat, and Ryan Attah put his hand on Phillip’s back to try and console him.
Professor Ndlovu spoke again, announcing that Jesse and Luke would give the next presentation after a short break for them to set up. Jesse walked to the front of the classroom, his legs feeling like jelly. Even Luke seemed to be nervous under all of the pressure, his eyes shifting around the room and his breathing less steady. Luke opened their presentation on the laptop which had been set up for the presentations at the front of the classroom, and he spread the cue cards on the lecturer’s desk. Ndlovu was sitting in the front row, with a few seats separating him from the students. Jesse scanned the room as he took deep breaths. Phillip was giving him a thumbs up, shaking off the mortification of Ndlovu’s scolding remarks. The other students sat quietly, expectantly, with their pens in their hands. Everyone seemed generally nervous since they would all have to present throughout the course of the day.
Ndlovu’s voice came suddenly, shaking through Jesse’s entire body: “I’m ready, Mr. Montgomery, Mr. Brennan. You can begin.”
Jesse took a final deep breath before starting the slide show which displayed on the overhead screen. The title was displayed in bold: Effective Negotiation of Social Group Settings for the Development of Self-Efficacy and Confidence. Luke and Jesse both stood side by side in front of the classroom once the projection was set up, ready to begin the presentation. They nodded at each other, and Luke gave Jesse a reassuring smile.
Luke spoke first, having to clear his throat which had become groggy with nervous energy. “There are many different types of social settings conducive to effective development of self-efficacy…” He spoke clearly and with such confidence that Jesse stared at him transfixed. Luke was a natural in front of a crowd. He took charge of the room, and everyone was listening to him with their undivided attention. He went through all of the background information and theories that they had consulted in compiling their assignment. It was all laid out in an easy to understand and efficient way. The twenty minutes for Luke’s component of the presentation flew by, and soon Jesse heard the words: “I’ll now hand over to Jesse to present the observations we’ve made and to show the different data which support our findings.” Luke turned to look at Jesse, mouthing the words You’ve got this, and stepped out of the way so that Jesse could move towards the center of the room.
Jesse felt his heart instantly jump into his throat. The wobbliness of his legs had gotten even worse, and he felt awkward as he stepped into the spot where Luke had been standing. His face was hot as blood rushed to it, and he felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He clutched his notes and began speaking. At first, the words wouldn’t come out at all, but eventually he managed to get a few sounds to pass from his lips: “Th-th-thank y-y-you.” He was stuttering uncontrollably. His panic began to rise again. There was no way he would be able to get through the entire presentation. He paged through his notes, eyeing the exit and considering just running for his life, not stopping until he got to his car and driving as far as his tank of fuel would take him. As he went through the notes, a few pages fell to the floor. Jesse heard a giggle from one of the students, and Ndlovu promptly turned around to give the offending student a stern look. Jesse bent down to pick up the notes, getting them all in order again as quickly as he could, and then seeing something sticking out between a few pages. It was the picture Luke had given him, the tree with their initials carved onto the trunk. The words Luke had said to him when he gave Jesse the drawing came back to him then: Keep it with you during the presentation and remember that I’m right there with you. Jesse turned to Luke, who gave him another reassuring smile and winked at him. Jesse felt determination pulsing through him. He wasn’t going to be laughed at again. He was going to do this, and do it well.
He began speaking, going through the different experiments which they had researched and explaining the findings to the class. He stammered a few times, but each time he just continued speaking. He could feel Luke’s presence behind him, calming him somehow. He held on to the many encouraging words that Luke had said to him over the past few weeks, especially after they had done the first run-through of the presentation: …no matter how things go… I want you to know how proud I am of you… when I saw you standing in front of me… do you know what I saw?... I saw a psychologist. That's who you are. And that's who I want you to be… I want you to go up there and show them all how much you care about people, how loving and nurturing and kind you are. I want you to go up there and show them everything you've learned and everything you have to offer. Jesse chose to believe Luke. Jesse was born to be a psychologist. He decided to remember that as he presented.
His confidence built with each sentence that passed his lips. He saw students nodding in the crowd and furiously taking notes. Jesse was really connecting with them. The minutes were flying by, and Jesse felt in control. He felt capable. He delivered the entire presentation without letting his nerves overwhelm him. When he reached the end of his notes, Jesse looked out at the crowd. They were listening to him, enraptured. He had presented well. He felt the sudden urge to add something after his presentation, and before he could stop himself, he said: “All of this data has shown how people need other people in order to be fully themselves. I learned this lesson myself recently. I learned that when someone else looks at you and sees something special, when they lift you up instead of breaking you down, when they really value you, that’s when you can thrive in life. I’ve chosen to surround myself with those types of people. I’ve chosen to let someone into my life who makes me feel capable of standing up here, in front of all of you, and confront all of my greatest fears. I’ve learned that there is something that can give you strength even when you feel like you don’t have anything left in you, one factor that can help you climb mountains that might seem impossible…” Jesse turned to Luke, whose face was filled with emotion, “…and that factor is love.” Jesse thanked the audience and was greeted with a standing ovation. Even Professor Ndlovu was giving a stifled smile, something very rarely seen. Jesse went over to Luke and gave him a hug in front of the entire class, not caring about what Ndlovu would think in that moment. He owed Luke so much. He wanted to show Luke how grateful he was.
Luke whispered in his ear: “You did it. You were brilliant.”
Jesse whispered back, over the sound of applause, “We did it… together.”
Chapter 28
Jesse sat outside of Dr. Richards’s office in the neurology unit at Dumisane Tshabalala Memorial Hospital, chewing on his fingernails. Luke and Stephanie had gone in alone to find
out the results of Luke’s bloodwork, and Jesse hated the fact that he had to wait outside to find out whether Luke had the affected gene. Jesse was tapping his foot against the floor nervously, thinking of how he would react if Luke came out with bad news. Jesse would be right there by Luke’s side. He wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what the results were. Stephanie had told Luke how successful her treatment had been, and Jesse knew that there would be a cure for Herrington’s disease someday. He had to hold on to hope. Luke had found his way deep inside of Jesse’s heart and made a home there. Jesse wasn’t ready to let that go.
He thought back on the road they had walked together since that first night when they sat outside of Percy’s Pub together, looking out over Donovan Square. Jesse had known instantly that there was something about Luke that would hook him. He knew exactly how dangerous it was to get to know Luke Brennan better. That first kiss, with Luke’s soft, full lips, had sealed the deal. Jesse was tied to Luke ever since. There was no letting go.
Working on the assignment together had been tumultuous, to say the least. They had definitely had their ups and downs. But no one had made Jesse feel as comfortable to be himself before as Luke did. Luke had seen the best in Jesse even when he was at his lowest point. And Jesse had shone during the presentation. Prof. Ndlovu had clearly thought so too, because when the grades for the presentation component were posted that same night, Jesse and Luke had been awarded the best marks in the class. The A would definitely help them both to be strong contenders for the prestigious postgraduate psychology program. Jesse was more motivated than ever to be a psychologist.
There was so much that Jesse had dealt with because of Luke. He had finally cut Martin out of his life for good. He had finally overcome his fear of talking in front of people; it was still difficult, but Jesse now knew that he was capable of doing it and doing it well. He had learned that he didn’t need to feel alone or invisible; he was important to someone. Jesse would use all of these lessons to be the best psychologist that he could be and to help other young people who faced similar challenges.
Finally, the door to Dr. Richards’s office opened, and Jesse jumped with a start. He stood up and scanned the faces of Luke and Stephanie for any sign of what they had just heard. “What did he say?” Jesse asked, impatient and unable to read anything from their expressions.
Stephanie broke out into a smile, and Luke said to Jesse: “Well, the bad news is that I’m anemic. I’ll have to start taking iron supplements. The doctor said that’s what’s causing my fatigue and weakness, and the anemia plus the stress I’ve been under led to the fainting spells.”
“And?” Jesse asked. “Don’t keep me waiting here.”
Luke’s face morphed into a smile that matched his sister’s: “I don’t have the affected gene. The doctor says I have no risk of Herrington’s disease.”
“It’s great news,” Stephanie said, moving in to hug her brother’s shoulder. “The treatment I’m getting means my prospects are looking great too. We’ll both likely live very long lives.”
Jesse jumped in to hug Luke, almost knocking the wind out of him, and squeezed him tightly. Luke laughed in response and said, “I’m glad to see you’re so happy.”
“We should all go out and celebrate our good news,” Stephanie said. “I’m happy for you too, Luke. I’m glad that you have your whole life ahead of you to look forward to.”
Luke turned to face Stephanie as Jesse was still hugging him, and said to her: “You’ll be there with me. We’ve both been given a second chance, with your treatment and my results, and we need to make the most of it. We need to cherish the people that are important to us.” Luke turned to face Jesse again, kissing his cheek, and added, “We need to make sure that we never let them go. No matter what.”
“Well,” Stephanie said, her face twisted in a sly smile, “What will the two of you do now?”
Both Luke and Jesse turned to face her, and said in unison: “Catch up on some sleep!”
***
Eight months had passed since that day in the doctor’s office. Jesse and Luke were sitting on a bench in Newlands Park, about half and hour’s drive from Ridgemont, watching Scampers run in the grass with other dogs. Scampers had made a full recovery since his health scare and was back to his usual playful, adventurous self. Jesse yelled at him to be careful as he ran at top speed towards a group of bigger dogs, but Scampers had soon convinced the pack to join him in play. Jesse turned to Luke with a gentle, contented smile as the summer rays beamed down on them. “I love seeing him so free,” Jesse said, running his hand over Luke’s forearm.
“Look how social he is. I think it’s a sign that we need to get him a little brother or sister,” Luke responded, watching Scampers dart across the field.
“A puppy?” Jesse asked, his face lighting up. “That’s a great idea! My flat is a bit small for two dogs though.” Luke smiled at Jesse’s comment, careful not to spoil his surprise for Jesse just yet.
They both turned their heads as they heard a screech beside them. Phillip was recoiling in horror at something he saw on the ground next to him, and Ryan Attah had to try and calm him down. “It’s just a spider, honey. You’ll be okay,” Ryan said as he stepped between Phillip and the offending arachnid.
“Just a spider?” Phillip demanded, incredulous. He was lifting his feet from the ground as he sat on the bench next to where Jesse and Luke were sitting. “Those things are disgusting!” Jesse and Luke laughed as they watched Ryan try to catch the spider in a paper cup while Phillip looked ready to run away.
“I’m glad the two of them are doing so well,” Luke whispered to Jesse. “Phillip was smitten with him, and I think all of us were equally relieved when Ryan finally noticed all of the signals Phillip was throwing his way.”
Jesse nodded in agreement as he watched the spectacle a few feet away from them. “They really do make a good couple,” he said. “I was worried about Phillip when he didn’t make it for the Clinical Psychology program, but he seems to be loving the counselling psychology course. It suits him.”
Luke took a deep breath, nervous energy suddenly rising in him. “Yeah, I’m glad you and I both made it into graduate school, but Ndlovu seems to be out to drown us in work. We haven’t even had our first lecture yet and I’ve already had many late nights trying to get through his reading list.”
Jesse giggled and said, “You’ll be okay. It’s not like we’re not used to pulling all-nighters.”
“You’re right. We have become rather skilled at keeping busy at night,” Luke said with a wink.
Jesse hit his hand playfully, and watched Scampers run across the field again with a pair of Labradors. “This is a perfect day; don’t you think?” Jesse asked, his dark blond hair glistening in the sunlight.
Luke felt that the moment had arrived. He swallowed the lump in his throat and said, “I know something that might make it a little more perfect. I hope, at least.” Luke pulled out a small, rectangular box from his jacket pocket and handed it to Jesse. Jesse turned ghost-white, his eyes wide open.
“Luke… is this…” Jesse started asking.
“Just open it. Don’t look so frightened. It’s a good thing. At least, I think it’s a good thing. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it. I hope. Now you’re making me more nervous too!” Luke was smiling, trying to reassure Jesse with encouraging gestures as Jesse opened the small box.
Jesse pulled out a small, metal object and gasped audibly. “Is this what I think it is?” he asked excitedly.
“Well, we’ve been spending so much time together. We’ve been dating for more than eight months and I love you so much. I want us to take it to the next step.”
Jesse held up the gift Luke had given him: a key. He looked at it and felt overcome with joy. “You’re asking me to move in with you?”
“Well,” Luke responded, “my place is bigger. And if we’re getting a puppy we’ll need the space…”
“Yes!” Jesse said, and hugged Luke. “Nothing would
make me happier. I love you, Luke.” They kissed through smiles as they both contemplated how happy they would be living together.
“Why don’t we go celebrate the move with the bottle of champagne I have waiting back at my place?” Luke said. Jesse nodded, still beaming from the exciting development. They both stood up and looked over at Phillip and Ryan, who were still fussing after their close encounter with a spider. Jesse and Luke said goodbye, leaving the squabbling couple to enjoy the rest of the afternoon in the park. The sun was still sitting high even though evening wasn’t far off. Luke turned to Jesse, looking him in the eye, and held out his hand as he asked, “Ready?”
Jesse took Luke’s outstretched hand and responded, “Ready.”
They walked like that, hand in hand, to get Scampers and take him home.
_______________
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All-Nighters Page 19
