Merriweather leaned forward. “We need to be careful not to push the drive too much. I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t say getting into another battle before we get back to Canaan for a refit is not advisable.”
“I doubt the League will have much success searching for us in deep space between the arms. There’s nothing out there,” David replied, and crossed his arms in front of him as he did. “The ship’s morgue isn’t equipped for the number of causalities we’ve incurred. Cargo bay four is fairly empty, yes?”
“Less than ten percent occupied, sir,” Tinetariro said.
“Good. Clear it out, and we’ll house our dead there. We’ll take them back to Canaan for proper burials.”
“Aye aye, sir.”
David cleared his throat. “I’d like to thank you all for an outstanding performance in this dire hour. The fleet performed admirably,” he began, his eyes resting on Talgat as he spoke. “And we achieved a great victory. Let us not lose sight of its cost. Anything else?”
Kenneth Lowe stuck his head forward from the right side of the table. “Uh, sir, some of our ships are banged up pretty badly. Would you have any objection to my teams working on them as we travel back? Just in case we’re jumped or something.”
“None at all, Mr. Lowe. Saved rounds?” No one else spoke. “Very well. Dismissed.”
Everyone sprang up from their seats, and in an orderly manner, walked through the hatch. Hale stayed behind and made eye contact with David. Once the last person was out—Kenneth—she spoke. “General, may I have a moment with you in private?”
David nodded, then reached over and closed the hatch. “What’s on your mind?”
“Permission to speak freely, sir?”
“Granted.”
She stared at him, her jaw set. “I owe you an apology, sir. I shouldn’t have questioned your tactics, especially in the way I did. To be honest with you, I didn’t think our objective could be accomplished, but you proved me wrong.” She paused for a moment and pursed her lips together. “I hope you’ll overlook it.”
“There’s nothing to overlook.” David closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and stared back at her. “The truth is, I pushed my crew and this fleet too far. I got a lot of good men and women killed. We probably should’ve settled for taking out one League installation and called it a day.”
“With respect, sir. You didn’t kill those people. The League did. We all know the score when we sign up. I don’t believe for a second you don’t weigh those costs in every order you give. I see it in your eyes, and I’ve been in this business long enough to spot the officers who want glory above all else. You’re not one of them.”
“Maybe not, but I do want to punish and destroy the League of Sol,” David said quietly. “All those pilots, gone.”
“Half of them were from my ship, General. They made the ultimate sacrifice for the right reason.”
“Then why am I left with an uneasy feeling that, but for the actions of a few brave men and women, this battle would’ve been an unmitigated disaster that lost the Terran Coalition some of its best ships, and possibly given the League anti-matter reactor technology?”
“I don’t know how about you, but every battle I’ve been in would’ve been an unmitigated disaster… except for the actions of a few brave men and women. That’s what armed conflict always comes down to. We’re fighting for what’s right. I believe this victory will secure peace for our nation and let us start to bind up our wounds. Maybe even heal our society.”
David bit off the response that came to mind, about how the League would never leave them alone, and nodded instead. “Well, thank you for those words, Hale. It’s been an honor serving with you.”
“You too, sir. Godspeed.”
As she walked out the hatch, David called out, “Godspeed to you too.” Then she was gone, leaving him to his innermost thoughts. Feelings of despair and doubt that he’d been without for so long came roaring back. He sank deeper and deeper into the mire of it as he second-guessed every action he’d taken the last two weeks. I have to keep going a little while longer, and this war will be over. It’ll be someone else’s problem. Not mine. Taking solace in that realization, he pushed himself back to his day cabin to begin the task of writing letters to the families of those who died.
27
It was well into the third watch, and past the time he’d typically turn in, but David found himself restless and unable to find sleep in his bunk. He wandered through the ship, inspecting repairs and exchanging small talk with the damage control teams still on duty. Eventually, he found himself outside of the medical bay. He realized what was bothering him—the injuries to Hanson and Hayworth. They’d served together for years, and while the nerdy engineer had been a friend for a while, and even Hayworth, as crusty as he appeared on the outside, he was someone David would put his life on the line for.
The hatch swung inward, and out walked Doctor Tural, nearly colliding with David in the passageway. “General! I apologize, sir. I didn’t realize you were coming down.”
“I didn’t know I was either, doctor,” David replied, his voice quiet. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Would you like me to prescribe something?”
David shook his head. “No, but you could put my mind at ease by giving me an update on our casualties.” The last time the Master Chief updated me, over a hundred crewmembers were still missing from the hangar and presumed lost.
“We’ve lost several more who were exposed to full vacuum. No one else has been found alive in areas of the ship we lost pressurization in,” he said. As if sensing David’s unspoken question, he continued. “Major Hanson and Doctor Hayworth remain in critical condition from acute radiation poisoning. While I believe they will recover, Lieutenant Hunter most certainly will not. Her dose was six times what is considered survivable.”
“Doris Hunter?” he asked, his eyes narrowed.
“She rushed into the core without a radiation suit. While I am but a humble doctor, I understand from Hanson that she saved the ship.”
The quiet, unassuming way in which Tural said the words somehow stung. So many heroes that go home in a simple pine coffin. “Could I see them?”
Tural nodded. “Of course. Follow me.”
David walked behind the older physician through the triage-focused area of the medical ward. Walking wounded lined the walls in various states of treatment. A row of nurses worked down the line, wrapping cuts and abrasions in high tech bandages infused with healing gels. He couldn’t recall seeing so many people in the “doc shack” before.
“Many of the crew with injuries worked through them until the ship was out of danger. It’s caused us to get backed up in treatment,” Tural explained.
I don’t deserve to lead these people. David pursed his lips together as they crossed into the private rooms, each containing multiple people. Doubt yet again roared to the surface as the doctor stopped in front of a door that was open, and he could see Hanson and Hayworth within.
Hanson rolled over on his side, and his eyes lit up. “Sir, come on in. Still awake. They just got me back from another radiation purge.”
“I’ll come find you when we’re done, doctor,” David said. “I’m sure you have rounds to attend to.”
“Inshallah, General,” Tural replied before he turned and walked away with purpose.
David was left alone with Hanson and awkwardly glanced around the small room with two integrated beds, outfitted with the latest in medical technology. “Still glowing in the dark?”
“Heh, no, sir. Gamma rays don’t… oh, yeah. Got it.” He managed a weak smile. There were dark bags under both of the engineer’s eyes, and his skin was unusually pale.
“I wanted to thank you for your efforts. You and Doctor Hayworth, both.”
“Thanking me and not God?” the gravelly voice of Hayworth rumbled from across the room. “I’m not dead yet, before you ask,” he rasped.
“Glad to hear it,” David replied. “As fa
r as I’m concerned, you’re both heroes.”
Hanson coughed loudly, sounding like he was hacking up a lung. After he recovered, he spoke. “What about Lieutenant Hunter, sir? Is she okay?”
“She’s resting comfortably, Major.” David couldn’t bear to tell him the truth, not the way hope shone in his eyes when he asked the question.
“Good, good. I’m hoping I can walk tomorrow and get down there to see her, and the rest of my people. A lot of the ratings took a dose. That gamma-ray stuff, it’s nasty.”
It was all David could do to maintain his composure as both of them made light of the situation. I caused this. It was my fault. If I hadn’t forced the use of an unproven workaround, they wouldn’t be in these beds, half dead.
“Doc Tural said we smoked the Leaguers,” Hanson said.
“Yes, we did,” David replied and forced a smile onto his face. “I’d better let you two get some rest. You’ll be pretty weak for a few days from what I understand.”
Hanson frowned and bit his lip. “Sir, would you go by and see Lieutenant Hunter for me? Just tell her I’m sorry I didn’t get the force field in place. I’ll take it easy on her the next few months.”
“Sure thing, Hanson. See you guys later.” David stood quickly and turned his face away so that neither would see the emotion building. He quickly strode out of the room and walked to his left. A few paces down the hallway, he realized the name on the room was “2LT Doris Hunter.” He paused and glanced inside. The sight that greeted him was hard to stomach. She was in the bed, her body, as far as he could tell, covered in bandages. While he could make out her face, it was covered in red blisters, some of which were draining. There were tubes leading from the bed into her torso, and they allowed a clear liquid to drip out into a medical waste container on the deck.
You caused this.
David almost turned and kept on walking, he was so overcome with shame. I owe her more than that. Instead, he started to walk into the room, when a passing nurse stopped him.
“Sir, you can’t go in there without protection.”
He glanced at her. “I don’t follow.”
“The patient is heavily irradiated. You’ll be contaminated if you enter without a rad suit.”
“Where are those stored at?” David asked, his tone somewhat icy.
“At the end of the passageway, sir,” the young woman replied, and pushed a stray wisp of blonde hair out of her face. “You’re not thinking of—”
“I’m going in there,” David said, his jaw set. “She sacrificed herself to save this ship. The least I can do is thank her for it.” He turned on his heel and strode to the location she’d indicated. Sure enough, there was a closet marked “Projective Equipment.” He entered his command code, and it popped open. Inside, there were radiation suits and full-body suits he supposed were for biohazards, containing independent air supplies. Pulling out a suit, he put it on over his uniform, right there in the hallway. Nurses, doctors, and enlisted personnel glanced at him out of the corner of their eyes, but he paid them no heed. Once he was fully enclosed, he walked back to Hunter’s room and entered, shutting the door behind him.
“Nurse, I still can’t feel my toes,” Hunter said quietly as the door clicked shut.
David smiled through the helmet’s clear faceplate. “Sorry, not a nurse. It’s David Cohen.”
“General,” she replied brightly. “How are you, sir?”
He locked his eyes on to hers. “I’m fine. More importantly, how do you feel?”
“Like I’m sitting on a bed of pins and needles. They tell me that’s normal for radiation poisoning this severe.”
“What did Doctor Tural tell you about your prognosis?” David asked as he kept his expression tightly neutral.
“No one’s really told me anything, sir. I’m smart enough to know when a bunch of doctors engage in hushed whispers outside your room, it’s not good. I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
For a moment, David considered lying to her. It would be easier to let someone else tell her the truth. But the tortured feeling within him that screamed—You did this to her!—wouldn’t go away. The least I can do is tell her. “Yes.” The word fell out of his mouth like a sledgehammer.
A single tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank you for being the one to tell me, sir. What about the Major, and Doctor Hayworth?”
“They’re going to be okay.”
She smiled ruefully. “Good. I saw Hanson trying to go back in, but I knew he wouldn’t survive. He was in such bad shape, he’d never have finished the repair. He’s been such a good friend. I learned so much from him the last few months.”
Her relief at the status of the others took David by surprise. His eyebrows shot up. “I would think you’d be more concerned about your condition.”
Hunter shrugged then winced in pain. “General—”
David held up his hand. “No ranks.”
“Yes, sir.” Her voice trailed off, and she smiled. “Sorry. I was going to say I knew the score when I pushed the hatch open. No greater love has a man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
David recognized the verse from John. Shelia had said it often. “A dear friend of mine used to say the same thing.”
“Used to?”
“She died in the second battle of Canaan. Shelia Thompson.” Tears started falling from David’s eyes, dropping onto the clear face shield of the helmet. “Hunter, I must ask you to forgive me.”
“Sir? For what?” Her eyebrows narrowed, and a quizzical look appeared on her face.
“I pushed the ship too hard. I forced Hayworth to create untested technology, because I decided we had to win, no matter what. It’s my fault you’re lying here. I am… so sorry.” He pursed his lips together. I don’t know what else to say. Condemnation for his actions sprang up within him.
Hunter reached out with her bandaged hand and rested it on top of his. “I don’t blame you for what happened, sir. I decided of my own accord to go in. End of story. Enough about it. Do you know how long I have?”
“A couple of days, probably.”
“Any chance I could say goodbye to my family before I go?”
David fought to keep from crying even more at what she’d asked. It was the way she’d said it, voice serene and accepting, that was so hard for him. “I can’t promise you because we’re so far out from Canaan and the comms relays, but I’ll do my best. I give you my word.” Somehow, some way, we’ll get her in range. His mind seized on it as a way to atone for his sins.
“Don’t risk anything on my account,” she replied. “I’m a small cog in a huge wheel. The victory we won here is worth it. Maybe it’ll keep our politicians from giving away the farm.”
“Is there anything you want?” David asked.
“I’d love some ice cream.”
He laughed. “Okay. I’ll go get some. What flavor?”
“Chocolate peanut butter, with extra peanut butter on top.”
David stood. “Give me half an hour. I’ll retrieve some from the officer’s mess.” He forced a smile to his lips then turned toward the door.
Her voice called out weakly from the bed. “Sir.”
Out of the corner of his eye, David saw her hand moving. He rotated his head in time to see her bring her hand up to her brow, even as it shook and was swollen from the bandage. He turned and brought his feet together, and snapped off a salute so sharp, it would’ve made his old drill instructor proud. Not another word was said as he left the room. As he went through decontamination and removed the suit, a single thought wouldn’t leave his mind: I’m not worthy to command these people.
* * *
After delivering the promised ice cream, David made his way to engineering. Even during the third watch, it was crawling with additional personnel. Sparks flew from tools as damaged systems were in the process of repair, spare parts swapped out to replace damaged ones. He’d expected to find Major Merriweather and wasn’t disappointed. Her visibly tired form sto
od behind one of the main reactor power distribution consoles. “Major,” he called out as he walked up behind her. “Do you have a moment?”
Merriweather whirled around, startled. “Of course, sir. I wasn’t expecting you down here.”
“I tried for some rack time, but it didn’t take. So I ended up visiting sickbay instead.”
“Any word?” Her lips pursed together in a frown.
“Major Hanson and Doctor Hayworth will be fine. Lieutenant Hunter’s not going to make it.”
“Damn.” Merriweather pushed her hair out of the way and grimaced. “I was hoping against hope she’d pull through.”
“I need to ask your opinion on something.”
“Of course, sir.”
David sucked in a breath. “I’d like to be within range of Canaan for vidlink communication within three days.”
“Why, sir?” she asked, eyes wide. “Even with our enhanced power generation capabilities, it takes exponential power the further the distance. We’d need back-to-back jumps practically.”
“I suppose I’m being sentimental, but Hunter asked me if she could say goodbye to her family… one last time.” David shut his eyes for a moment. “I’d like to ensure she can, if it's within our ability to do so.”
“Give me until the seven a.m. briefing to run some numbers, sir. Keep in mind if we go that fast, the drive will need an overhaul when we get back to dock.”
“I figured as much, Major. The entire ship’s going to need an overhaul after this. What’s one more item?” He forced a smile to his face, if nothing else, to mask the pain.
“Yes, sir.”
“That’ll be all. Carry on, Major.”
She appeared as if there was an argument forthcoming, but turned away instead. David stared down into the mass of engineers, scurrying about like ants below. A well-oiled machine. You should be proud of yourself, Hanson. He walked out, his soul heavy with guilt.
Run the Gauntlet: Echoes of War Book Six Page 27
