by Tess Oliver
Layla smiled but it was a sad smile. "Of course. I'd never do anything to hurt them. And Jack, just so you know, this is horrible, everything about us having to end it before it really got started, it's heartbreaking. And the really terrible thing is—I think this was headed toward something incredible."
My throat tightened. All I could do was nod in response.
26
Layla and I had parted from our weekend without more than a brief hug. I kept trying to see things from her side, but my strong feelings for her made it hard to see clearly. All I knew was that the woman of my dreams had left my life, most likely for good and all because of her past marriage. It nearly killed me to think about, but, soon enough, she'd meet some other guy, someone who had no connection to Bulldozer and off they'd ride into the sunset. It seemed like a big fucking case of unfairness to me, but I had to respect her decision. It just wasn't going to be easy to push any of this aside.
As I drove to base camp for a meeting on safety updates, I reminded myself that I was going to be sitting in the same room as Helix. The fight with Bulldozer had put a mark on my record, and I wasn't about to blow my whole career, one I loved, to fight with Helix. But I did have a few choice words for the guy, words I'd been chewing on, like gristle, during my drive to the base.
I pulled in and hadn't seen Kingston's car until he sliced up next to me, threw his car in park and climbed out. "You and me have got to talk, buddy. Not out here. In your jeep."
I laughed. "Are you pulling my leg?" I was sure he was just clowning around until he circled behind my jeep and climbed inside. I sat back down in the driver's seat. Some of the other guys were arriving, but there was no sign of Helix's big, lifted truck yet. I looked over at Kingston. "What's up, drama queen?"
He shoved me. It was hard enough for me to smack my head against the side window. "What the fuck, King? Have you lost what was left of that mind of yours?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were taking Layla out to the ranch? I thought we told each other everything. I'm hanging out in a bar with Angus, Kaos and Mixx, and right in the middle of my third beer, I discover that my best friend, Jack Bronx Devlin, was seeing Bulldozer's widow. And I learned through a text on Mixx's phone. I was hearing it third party, for fucksake."
"Well, you weren't missing anything because it's over. Helix saw to that."
"Hell yeah it's over. You know you've always got my support, but Kaos and Angus, they were pissed. They considered it a betrayal, especially after Helix sent the video to everyone's phone. He wanted to make sure to crown you asshole of the year."
I raked my hair back with my fingers. "Fuck, Kaos and Angus? Thought they'd at least be on my side. Mixx?"
"He said he was staying neutral. You know Mixx, he doesn't like to step into turmoil. But it was that fucking video, the one with Bulldozer piss drunk. He said—"
I put up my hand. "You don't need to tell me. His fucking words have been carved into my chest."
King pushed up his sunglasses. "I don't get it. Why did he single you out? I mean everyone knew you had a crush on Layla but—" He paused and fisted me in the shoulder.
I rubbed it and shook my head at him. "Could you calm the fuck down before they have to take me out of here on a stretcher."
"Were you and Layla seeing each other while he was still alive?”
"Hell no." This time I had the urge to sock him but I held back. "Can't believe you'd ask that. You, of all people."
"Yeah but you thought about it," King said, lamely.
"I've also thought about having a threesome with Margot Robbie and the hot lady who sells ice cream sandwiches down at the park, but I haven't done it. Just because you act on every goddamn impulse."
"No, no, no, Bronxy Boy, don't turn this around on me." King had finally settled down. He relaxed back against the seat. "So what happened? Why is it over? Couldn't you guys just sneak around."
"Tried that. Apparently, we aren't great sneakers. Helix saw us at Moonpie's having breakfast."
His arm swung out to knuckle me again, but he stopped it before making contact.
"Good decision," I told him wryly.
"Why would you go to Moonpie's? Everyone eats breakfast there."
"I don't know. It's on the way to the ranch. It's an hour out of town, so I thought we'd be safe. Anyhow, none of that matters now. He sent that video to Layla. She decided it was just too hard for us to be together." It was impossible to miss Helix's massive lifted truck. It sounded like thunder as it pulled into the lot. Every muscle in my body tensed just seeing him sitting behind the wheel with his dark sunglasses. "I can tell you this, King. I won't find anyone like her. Might as well just give up and join a fucking monastery. She was the one. It would just fucking figure that I found the one person who happened to be Bulldozer's one too."
King slapped me on the shoulder, a friendly pat this time. "Sorry about that, buddy. But there'll be more. Ole Bronx Devlin has never been short on the ladies, and he's not likely to start now."
Helix climbed out of his truck and made a point of staring in the direction of my jeep. He lifted his sunglasses and skewered me with a scowl.
"I can't get into it with him. I've already got a mark on my record. Another one could get me expelled."
"I'll do my best to stay between you guys," King said. "But I've got to warn you, you might get some frostiness from the other guys too. That video, with Bulldozer, that really cut deep."
"Yeah, it was meant just for Layla, so fuck Helix for sending it to everyone. I'll bet even Bulldozer would be pissed. Well, no sense in putting this off. Besides, at the moment, I just don't give a fuck what any of them say or think. They don't know shit, only what's being filtered through Helix."
Kingston and I stepped out of the jeep and headed into the building. Chuck Coltrane, Mystic's father and operations manager, was in his office gathering the new safety information pamphlets. We headed straight into the meeting room, which during fire season also served as our dining area and occasional sleep area depending on how many crew members were on call. Today, the crummy plastic eating tables had been cleared for the meeting. Coffee and donuts were set up on one of the tables. Most of the crew was hovering over the box of donuts, snatching up their favorites.
"Shit, I'll bet the maple bars are all gone. Shouldn't have taken so long in the jeep," King lamented. Making donuts his new priority, he elbowed his way up to the box. I wasn't in the mood for anything, so I crossed to a table where Topper and Lawson Winslow, the guy we called Sunshine because he was always a fucking grump, were already sitting devouring a plate of donuts.
I reached for an empty chair. Topper stretched his leg across and kicked it aside out of my hand. "Sorry, that seat is taken." They both stared up at me coldly.
As badly as I wanted to let them know what I thought about their taken chair, I held my tongue and walked to another table. Suddenly, it was like high school, and I was the outcast being shunned at all the tables. Alex and Jane stared up at me as I reached for a chair.
"Really?" I asked. "Even you, Jane?"
She shrugged. "Actually, I think you're all a bunch of assholes who can't think past their dicks, but sit if you want." She pushed the chair out with her foot. Helix's big hand grabbed it out of my reach.
"Sorry, traitor, I'm sitting here. Why don't you take the loser's table over there." He pointed to a small wobbly table with a broken leg that had been pushed back to the corner.
Helix sneered at me, then shoved a jelly donut in his mouth. I briefly imagined that donut being my fist.
"Bronx, over here." King had finally finished piling his plate with donuts. He sat down at the table with Kaos and Angus, two guys who were normally my friends, even past the walls of the base camp. This morning, they both had jaws set like steel and glares that could make a glacier shiver.
This time I didn't politely pull out a chair. I yanked it and sat down. I slumped back and gave them both an equal glare. "Seriously? Thought you guys were friends."
I sat forward. "Save your fucking sainthood routine. You use that cock of yours so indiscriminately, you don't know where the hell it's been. And it's not like that with Layla." I was talking low, but there was no way to keep a conversation from carrying to the next table.
"Oh yeah, Devlin," Helix said snidely. "Why don't you tell us how it was. Tell us how you put away your conscience to betray one of your fellow smokejumpers."
My chair scraped the floor as I turned it to face him. Everyone was looking at me with unfamiliar faces, anger, disappointment. "Me? Betrayal? Do you think Bulldozer wanted you to send that video to everyone? It was a message to Layla, a stupid drunken message, but you sent it to everyone."
"Just keeping a promise I made to Bulldozer to protect Layla."
I laughed dryly. "Are you trying to protect her or control her? Cuz, she's a smart, independent woman. I'm pretty sure she can handle things without some big blockheaded asshole keeping tabs on her life. It's just a spit of above stalking if you ask me."
"That's it, Bronx. It's you and me." Helix moved to jump out of his chair just as the door opened and the operations manager walked inside. Helix relaxed his offensive stance. Chuck handed Mystic the pamphlets to pass out, then he put his hands on his hips and surveyed the room.
"Shit, I can cut the tension in this room with a knife. What the hell is going on?"
Silence and a lot of diverted gazes followed.
"Well, who wants to spill the beans?" Chuck prodded again. "I ain't got all day." Chuck was not a big man, but he had a big presence. You knew he was in charge without question. The fact that he was a badass smokejumper back in his day helped solidify the respect we had for him. But in this case, even his furrowed brow and crossed arms weren't working. The room was stuck in a tense, awkward silence for another minute while Chuck waited with stern brow and posture for someone to explain what was going on.
Chuck uncrossed his arms and clapped once. "Fine, we were going to do some training after the meeting. Everyone, get on your running shoes and meet me outside. It's a great morning for a five mile run."
The silence was broken by a series of complaining moans. Plenty of daggers were being shot my direction along with the angry grumbles. People reluctantly rose from the chairs and left behind their donuts and coffee to head to the lockers and change.
"And, Bronx," Chuck said before I could get clear of the room. "Since all the angry scowls seem to be pointed your direction, you can do an extra mile."
"Yes, sir," I said as I walked out.
"Fucking great," Kingston said as he opened his locker. "Shouldn't have eaten two donuts. I'm going to puke them right back up." He shivered. "Phew frosty as the Arctic in here. Reminds me of a high school locker room. I'd say you should be ready to get some jock straps fired your way."
"Yep, ignoring the assholes." I pulled out my running shoes and sat on the bench to put them on."
"This is all your fault, Bronx," Sunshine growled.
"Yeah, well, you look like you could use a run," I said. "Or are you trying out for a Santa position at the mall?" I got dressed faster than if we were heading out to a fire. A run suddenly sounded like just the thing I needed to cool my head.
27
"Here's where the rest of us turn around," Helix chided at the top of the trail. His elbow shot out. It torpedoed full force into my gut. I was already breathing hard from the uphill run. I instantly bent over at the waist to catch my breath.
"You're fucking done with this crap," King said. He swung his arm around. "All of you are fucking done with this."
"Ahh, how cute," Helix said, "Got your big buddy standing up for you."
"You know what? An especially big fuck off to you, Helix." King and Helix were both big, and about matched in weight and height. They headed toward each other, fists clenched and jaws set. They came toe to toe and stopped just short of throwing punches. The heavy breathing and groans from running uphill for two miles fell to a hushed quiet where the only sounds were the birds and squirrels shuffling through the dead leaves and forest debris.
I finally caught the breath Helix had knocked out of me. "Don't, King," my voice was still strained. "He's not worth a mark on your record." I looked straight at Helix. "Whatever you think it takes to make you feel better, Helix. You lost your best friend. I get it. I'd feel the same way if I'd lost King. But I'm not going to fucking fight you because I worked hard to get this job, and I'm not giving it up just because you can't get that stick out of your ass."
A few chuckles rolled up the trail. Helix and Kingston stepped back from each other. Helix swung around and started back down the trail. Others followed.
"Hey, buddy, I'd do that last mile with you—" King had already shifted back to his usually light demeanor. He pressed his arm against his stomach. "But those donuts aren't happy."
I'd retrieved my breath, but Helix had left a good sharp pain in my gut. I waved to King. "Go ahead. Actually looking forward to the solitude on this last mile."
With that, Kingston spun around and followed the others down the hill. I continued up the trail, feeling Helix's fucking gut elbow with each step. I reached the turnaround point for six miles and took a second just to enjoy the peaceful sounds of nature. We were heading into winter soon, and most of the critters were getting ready for hibernation or migration. The arrival of winter, even a dry winter, signaled that there would be a break from fires. There wouldn't be much happening at the base camp until after the holidays. After this morning, I was glad as fuck that this was our last week of training and equipment repair. I would spend the next few months working as a paramedic with a local fire station. I looked forward to the change. I was planning to take on extra shifts to make some money and keep myself busy. Being busy would help keep my mind off Layla.
The second I thought about keeping my mind off her, my phone rang. It was Layla. I answered it quickly. "Hey, everything all right?" I asked. My pulse was still pounding from the run and now it had gone into overdrive, merely at the thought that Layla was on the other end of the phone call.
She didn't speak right away. I pulled the phone from my ear to make sure I had service. Three bars. "Layla?"
"I'm so mad I can hardly speak." In the background I could hear the usual sounds of a hospital, gurneys and machines being moved, intercoms calling for a certain doctor and the voices of staff and patients.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Do you know that Helix sent that video not just to me but to everyone in Adam's social orbit. Then, he let everyone know that I was seeing the guy that Adam asked me not to see. And oh boy," she laughed, but there was an upset edge to it. "Oh boy, all of a sudden everyone has decided that Adam was a perfect husband. I was the bitch. I'm hearing opinions from people I haven't heard from in years, and they're letting me have it. Had to go dark on my social media accounts, which probably wasn't such a bad thing anyhow." Her voice was shaky, not the usual bright confident tone coming from the other end.
"I know all about it. I'm at base camp. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they're plotting my demise right now. I'm going to take care of this for you, Layla. I started this and I'm the perceived villain in this story, so I'm going to put an ending on this shit show right now."
"No don't get into trouble. I know you already have a mark on your record after the fight with Adam. I'm just going to ignore everyone in my social circle. At least I still have my parents and sister."
"And me," I added.
"And you . . . sort of." She grunted in frustration. "This whole thing sucks. I've got to go. I'm being paged. Again, don't do anything that will put your job in jeopardy. I just needed to vent and because of the aforementioned lack of people I can commiserate with, I decided to burden you with my troubles. Only, I selfishly forgot that you were going to be heading into your own tsunami of problems." She paused for a second. "You know what—th
at picnic, alone, was worth the headache. I've got to go." She hung up before I could say another word. But I did have some words, some words for the people down at base camp.
As was always the case, the downhill half of the run was much easier and faster. The trot down the trail gave me some time to cool off after hearing what had happened to Layla. It gave me time to put together my thoughts. I had to avoid getting in trouble, while, at the same time, letting my judgmental workmates know how things were going to play out from this day forward.
I stopped in the locker room bathroom to rinse my face. It was going to be hard to lay down the law, so to speak, with sweat dripping into my eyes. Everyone else had already filled water cups and sat back down at the meeting tables. Now the donut table was lonely. It seemed a five mile run on a semi-warm day didn't leave an appetite for deep fried pastry. Even the sugary smell made me feel sick to my stomach, or it might have been queasiness about the forthcoming speech.
Chuck entered from the opposite door as I stepped into the meeting room from the locker room. Everyone was tired and red faced and far more subdued than this morning. The tension had been replaced by physical exhaustion. King and I were two of the few crew members who liked to run, even in the off season. Today it was coming in handy because I was feeling pumped. I strode over to Chuck.
"Can I have the floor for a few minutes before you start?" I asked.
Chuck's bushy brow twitched a little. "Guess I was right about the tension being aimed at you."
I nodded. "Yes, sir. And I've got to say a few things to clear the air. If that's all right, sir."
