“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“I know that you’re traveling with someone very special to you, a celebrity even.”
More cold sweat runs down my back.
How could he know?
How could he know any of this?
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Be that as it may, my sources are very thorough and I just want you to know that we are very well aware of your relationship with Tyler McDermott and the fact that all of the law enforcement agencies in this country are looking for him. Here’s the thing,” he says with a little laugh. “The reward for his arrest just happens to be the exact amount of your mother’s debt. Your debt. So, if you don’t get us the money by Monday, then we’re going to have to contact the FBI and tell them precisely where you are.”
“You have no idea where we are,” I say.
“Palm Desert, California. Staying at the Motel 6 down by 111.”
I drop my phone and scramble to pick it up. When I finally get back on the line, he has already hung up.
27
Isabelle
When I go back…
I don't want to go back to the motel. I don't want to see Tyler.
All I want to do is get into the car and drive as far away from here as possible, but I can't.
Tyler is in danger and despite everything that has happened, I owe him an explanation.
When I get back to the room, I have to knock a few times before he opens the door.
“You didn't have to leave like that,” he says, clearly angry.
“I need to talk to you,” I say quietly.
I put all my stuff on the other bed and sit down on the one that he has been lying on. Then I burst out crying.
The tears just flow out and I can't make them stop. I cry until my eyes get so puffy that it hurts to even rub them.
I cry until it feels like there are little razor blades pushing on my eyelids. I'm not just crying over all of the secrets that I have kept and all of the lies that I have told.
It's more than that or partly, it’s less than that.
Have you ever experienced that feeling of exhaustion when you’ve just reached your breaking point?
I haven't slept well in days and I'm the type of person who needs deep, quiet sleep.
I miss my home and I miss my students.
I miss just going through my day without a worry in the world.
“I'm not cut out for this,” I say quietly, wiping away tears as more and more come.
It hasn't even been that many days and I feel like I'm breaking.
“I'm really sorry,” Tyler says, draping his arm over my shoulder. “We should've never done this. I love you, but you deserve so much more than this life on the road that's going nowhere.”
“It's not just that,” I say quietly. “I've been keeping some secrets from you and you deserve to know the truth.”
He gives me a slight nod and waits for me to continue.
“I didn't just come with you out of the goodness of my heart. It's not that I don't love you, I do, but I also came here to get away. I thought that maybe they would stop bothering me if I wasn't there anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks calmly.
He's no longer absent or far away like he was earlier.
He's here with me.
Present.
Concerned.
Willing to help.
“Once you told me about Tessa, I thought that maybe I would have a way out of this mess.”
I dry the last of my tears and move slightly away from him on the bed to face him.
“My mother owes a lot of money to some mafia guys. We haven't been in touch at all for the last couple of years, but she got addicted to painkillers and I knew that she’d gotten involved in selling drugs as well. Then she disappeared.”
“Did you think that something had happened to her?”
“At first, I thought maybe, she does have this habit of ghosting me, not calling me back for days and weeks. So, I didn't think much of it. Then this guy started contacting me about paying her debt. I thought it was a joke, but then they kept pressuring me and insisting that I owed them $100,000. I had nothing close to that and I have no idea why I was expected to pay that in the first place. I ignored their calls and then they showed up at my door. I changed my number but the calls kept coming. I saw them as empty threats at first but after a while, it didn't seem to be that way anymore.”
“Is that why you ran away?” Tyler asks.
I nod and say, “I should've known better. They found me here. They called me and said that I have until Monday to pay or they're going to really hurt me.”
“Have they said that before?” he asks.
“It's different this time,” I say.
“How?”
This is the part that I have been dreading to tell him about. I lick my lips and look down at my ragged fingernails. I've been pretty good about not biting them for a while and then today, I just couldn't stop myself.
“They know about you,” I say, looking straight into his eyes. I want this part to be untrue as much as possible, but he needs to know exactly what's going on.
“What are you talking about?” Tyler asks.
“He told me that he knows that we are traveling together. He mentioned you by name. He mentioned the reward money and how it's for the exact same amount that I owe him or rather what my mother owes him.”
I expect Tyler to get angry, to jump up and yell at me. I don't know why I expect this to happen.
He has never been that way to me. Somehow, this is worse. I need him to be here with me.
To be present.
To connect with me.
With each passing moment, he seems to get further and further away.
“It doesn't have to mean anything,” Tyler says after a long pause. “He could be bluffing.”
I don't believe that and I don't think he does either.
“He told me where we are right now,” I say quietly. “While I was on my hike, he called and threatened me and told me to pay by Monday. He also mentioned this exact motel.”
Tyler swallows hard and looks away from me.
“They know everything,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
Tears start to roll down my cheeks and I wish more than anything that there was something I could do to make them stop.
“This has been a terrible mistake,” Tyler says, staring somewhere out into the distance.
I don't know if he means meeting me or taking me with him or loving me at all. I'm too afraid to ask.
I wipe my tears away over and over again, but it's all to no avail. There are so many of them that I can barely see. So, when he gets closer to me and presses his lips onto mine, he takes me completely by surprise.
His lips feel soft and strong and he carefully guides my body back on the bed.
When he pulls away slightly, he raises his head up and kisses my cheeks. I blink a few times and see large droplets of tears, attached to my eyelashes. He brings his lips up to my eyelids and kisses those tears away.
When I look up at him, he whispers, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I say quickly, “but—"
“Shhh,” he mumbles, putting his index finger onto my lips. “Let's not talk. Let's just be with each other.”
My heart flutters as I feel my whole body connect with his. I wrap my arms around his strong powerful back and never want to let go.
After pulling away, we stand in front of each other and take our clothes off. My hands shake a little bit as I pull off my shirt and I feel his gaze focus on my body.
A familiar feeling of embarrassment takes over and I'm tempted to cover up my flabby stomach, but what I see in his eyes is anything but scorn or pity. Instead, he looks at me the way that people look at marble statues in museums. With adoration and awe.
“Why? Why do you look at me like that?” I ask.
“I just can't be
lieve that you let me be with you,” he says, shaking his head.
I blush.
“What are you talking about? Have you seen yourself?”
He gives me a happy smile. As I run my fingers up and down his six pack, he flexes his muscles and poses like David.
I laugh.
“No, seriously. You’re so…hot.”
“This,” he points to himself, “is nothing. Just a body.”
“A chiseled body that looks like it has been made from stone.”
“No,” he says, taking my hand and pulling me close to him. “You're the one that's beautiful. You're the one that's breathtaking and exquisite.”
He pulls me over and on top of him. I like the view from up here. Tyler almost looks small in comparison. He grabs onto my butt and squeezes it tightly. Then he reaches over and cups my breasts.
I've always hated being on top. Not only do I feel slightly uncoordinated being the one who instigates the movements and keeps the tempo, but I also don't like the way that my stomach and breasts move with each thrust.
Yet, when I look at those eyes, I know that he doesn't see any of that.
He wants me for me; the person underneath all this.
No, it's even better than that. He sees me for who I am and he loves that.
We kiss for a while and then he rolls on top of me and fishes out a condom from the pocket of his jeans. After he slips it on, he pulls me on top of him again.
“I want to see you,” he says. “All of you.”
I blush again and sit up. I prop myself up with my hands on his thighs and take him inside.
I start to move my body, slowly at first. I take him further and further inside and eventually my legs get tired.
I lean over him and kiss him and admit that I have been a failure.
He laughs, shaking his head.
“I can't believe that you’re laughing at me,” I whisper, kissing him again and moving my body up and down his cock as a way to accentuate my statement.
“Okay. Let me take over.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I try to move over, but he stops me.
“What do you think you're doing?” he asks, shaking his head. “You're staying exactly where you are.”
A thrill of excitement rushes through me.
I put my hands on his stomach, to brace myself as he starts to thrust himself faster and faster within me.
The speed with which he moves is nothing like what I had experienced before.
Within a few moments, I feel myself reaching the edge. I hold on tight as a warm soothing sensation rushes through my body. Instead of a soft wave, it's a tsunami.
A few moments later, he yells my name and relaxes his body. I fold over myself and collapse into his arms.
Afterward, lying in his arms, I feel like the world makes sense again even though it doesn't.
This was a temporary stop measure.
This was a Band-Aid on a bleeding wound. We still don't have any money to solve my problem or his and not many options with which to look into the future.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I nod.
“Why didn't you go to the police? When all of this was happening with your mom? When they first started making all of those threats? Before I showed up.”
I sigh, letting out the air very slowly. This isn’t something I wanted to talk about either, but it's time to come clean about everything that has happened, however painful.
“I couldn't,” I say after a long pause.
He waits for me to explain without pushing me.
“I didn't feel safe. I didn't think they would do anything.”
“What do you mean? Why?”
“I dated a cop at the Pittsburgh Police Department.”
“Okay.” He props himself up with the pillow.
The sheet falls over his torso, draping slightly over that place where his oblique muscles make a V. Glancing down, I kind of want him again.
“Isabelle?”
“Yeah,” I say with a deep sigh.
I realize that I just want a distraction. Of course, I want him, but I also don't want to talk about this. This was one of the darkest periods of my life.
“What happened?” Tyler asks. “You dated a cop at the Pittsburgh PD. Did he do something?”
“Let's just say that he wasn't a really good guy,” I say after a long pause. “He worked at the precinct that I would have to go to make a complaint about those phone calls. They would be the ones that would be investigating the situation.”
“You didn't think that they could do it? Maybe they could make the mobsters back off?”
“No, they won't do that. The guy that I dated got really possessive. I thought it was romantic at first that he was so jealous of every other guy that even looked at me or was interested in me. I was stupid and naïve. He told me what to do and at first, I didn't want to listen, but then I got scared. He was violent and he threw his fist through the walls on numerous occasions. I had a few friends, but I stopped hanging out with them due to having a fear of what might happen. He would just explode for no reason. I was embarrassed but I couldn't make him stop. The only thing I could do was pull away.
“Dating him was the worst time of my life. I had just broken up with my fiancé. It was just supposed to be a rebound guy. A few dates, that's it, but on the third day he came over and refused to leave. He threatened me, made jokes, and then hit me.”
“I'm so sorry,” Tyler says.
“I never thought I would be one of those women that would put up with that. I always thought that I was strong. I thought that I would never allow someone to treat me like that, but he had power and I was scared of that power. The first time that he punched me, I got a black eye and I went to make a report, but my precinct was his precinct. His friend took my statement and then kept pressuring me to drop the case. They kept saying how maybe I was confused. Maybe I was exaggerating. At first, they were thinly veiled threats but after a while, they were just threats. When he found out that I went to the police and told them what had been going on, he threw me against the wall. He told me that if I were to ever do anything like that again, he would kill me. I knew that no one would ever find my body. No one would ever know that I was even dead.”
“I'm so sorry,” Tyler whispers over and over again while rubbing my back.
I pull away from him. I can't have him touching me right now. Not if I want to get all of this out of me.
“Then things got worse,” I say, hearing my voice crack.
“What happened?” he asks in that desperate quiet way that you do when you don't really want to know the truth, but you feel compelled to find out.
“He invited me on a trip to New York and then kept me locked in that house for a week. He wouldn't let me leave. He did whatever he wanted and I couldn't make him stop. When I tried to go for a knife, when I tried to hurt him back, he caught me and he made things worse. I thought about going to the police after that, but if they didn't want to believe me about him hitting me, why would they want to believe that he did any of that?”
“So, what happened after?”
“I got really lucky and somebody else did.” I pause for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts.
“He met someone else,” I finally say. “He liked to go to this bar with his cop friends and he happened to hook up with this other girl and they hit it off. He left me for her and I have never been happier. It happened so fast that I just worry that something bad is happening to her, too. I was just out with her a few times, but she told me that she loved him and that was it. The fourth time that I called, he answered the phone and told me to stay away from them or he’d kill me. I decided that I had given enough effort to try to protect her.”
“I'm so sorry,” Tyler says over and over again.
I wish that he would stop, but I know that there isn't much else to say to any of this.
I tell him that I kept evidence of what happened to me that week. I made videos an
d took photographs, just in case, but I never filed any charges because I didn't trust that police department to do anything for me ever.
“That's why I never told them about these threatening phone calls for the debt my mom owes. I just figured that they would somehow use it against me and I didn't want that to happen.”
“Is that why you were afraid to leave the house when I met you?”
“Yeah,” I say, looking up at the ceiling. “I got terrified of going anywhere where I didn't feel safe and I didn't feel safe anywhere. I stayed home as much as I could. It was the only place that I could. I was obsessed with controlling my environment because I had lost control so long ago. He made me not want to live. He made me afraid of my own shadow. Then you came along…”
He shakes his head and says, “If I had known that you had been traumatized like that, then I would've never snuck into your house. I would've never tied you up. That was so fucked up.”
“You didn't know.”
“It was a fucked up thing to do, regardless,” Tyler says.
“You were trying to protect me,” I say, exhaling slowly. “You didn't want me to know who you were. You had no idea that this had happened. Do you realize that, despite everything that has happened, despite everything that we have been through, I don't regret having you in my life for one minute?”
“You don't?”
“Do you?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head vigorously from side to side. “I love you, Isabelle. You made me believe that the world is a good place. That's something that I had forgotten long ago.”
“I love you, too, Tyler,” I whisper and lean over and kiss him.
He reaches over and pulls me on top of him.
He kisses me over and over again and I kiss him back. Our bodies intertwine again, with only the sheets separating us from each other.
28
Tyler
When we go back…
Later that evening, I decide to go back to see Tessa by myself. This time, I'm not going to take no for an answer.
The Perfect Cover Page 13
