by Coralee June
“I’m ready,” I said as Blaise grabbed my hand.
We stood in a circle, alone for the first time in a while. It was only a brief moment in time, three seconds at the most. I felt vulnerable as tipsy travelers still enjoying the Vegas scene and broody businessmen with bulky suitcases rolled past us. Everyone had a destination. I took the moment to enjoy the silence—enjoy the brief pause in momentum before we had to dive back into the chaos.
I looked at Gavriel, the sharp lines on his face looked extra fierce as he inspected me. My fearless leader was scared. Control came at a price, and that price was the burdens of our safety and happiness. Gavriel thrived under pressure, but there was a vulnerability—an uncertainty—that had my heart warming for the boy that always protected me and always will.
Ryker looked in pain. For the man that could take all the hits, he seemed to doubt his threshold of suffering then. And not the physical kind, either.
Blaise looked...certain. He clung to me, keeping me close while holding that determined stare in his eyes that knew all of my secrets. It was us against the world.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Let’s go,” Ryker and Gavriel said at once.
Blaise and I left first, walking into the airport like a couple going on a trip. He played the part well, pulling me in while we stood in the security line, kissing my cheek and holding my hand. I felt comforted by his closeness. It distracted me from the nervousness in my gut. “You look beautiful,” he murmured to me once we were at the terminal.
“I could use a nap. And coffee. And a vacation,” I joked while chancing a look over my shoulder. Ryker and Gavriel had just made it through security and were following a safe distance behind us.
“You have time, why don’t you take a nap?” Blaise offered, always so considerate, offering sleep like this was a normal trip, a normal day at the airport. “If you’re a good girl, I’ll even play with your hair,” he added.
It wasn’t fair. He knew all my weaknesses. “You know me well,” I chided as we settled into our seats and waited for the plane. Gavriel and Ryker picked chairs on the complete opposite side of us, far off to the right where they could see if anyone was coming but also close enough to keep an eye on us.
“I know that you’re blaming yourself right now for Callum,” Blaise said in a low tone so that no one nearby could hear. I almost had to smile because he was wrong for once. I wasn’t sure what that said about the person I was becoming, if even Blaise Bennett couldn’t predict my moods or opinions.
“I felt that at first. But not anymore.” I leaned against his shoulder and entwined our fingers, stroking my thumb over the top of his hand as I enjoyed his closeness. He smelled like coffee. “I’m glad I pushed him. Gavriel had it right all along, Callum wouldn’t dive into this unless he was forced to. Maybe it was wrong, but I’m tired of clinging to the idea that everything is going to work out. Justice isn’t a privilege, it’s something you have to steal.”
Blaise nodded, soaking in my words. “Just do me a favor?” he finally asked.
“Anything.”
“In your quest for fixing him and finding justice, don’t lose yourself, okay?”
I swallowed, the sting in that honest request more painful than the cuts on my back or the crack in my heart. “Blaise, I lost myself a long time ago.”
Chapter Nineteen
It felt like everyone was looking at me. I could feel their curious eyes on us. The whispers, the stares. Our hunt for Callum led us to downtown Chesterbrook late in the afternoon. We tried to hide our identities and be inconspicuous, but it was hard. The Bullets were an enigma, the shadow they cast over the town never really left. Even after five years, people still remembered the chaos they caused. Their reputation was hard to forget.
“Who's that girl they’re with?” Mrs. Laney said as we passed an antique shop. She’d known my mom well; they both had a drinking problem and an addiction to gossip. “Looks kind of like that girl, Summer Bright. Do you think that’s her?”
“Oh no. Don’t you remember? Summer Bright died. They must have a type. Nasty boys.” Blaise grabbed my hand and smiled at them, his bright teeth blinding in the afternoon sun. I knew for a fact that Mrs. Laney had gotten drunk and offered to suck Blaise’s cock at a charity event the Jamesons hosted once.
Nasty boys, indeed. I happened to like nasty, and apparently she did too.
“Maybe it’s a good thing after all that your mother had that funeral,” Ryker whispered to me as we passed another nosy group of women.
“Why do you say that?”
Ryker rolled his neck. “It kind of helped you disappear. I mean, think about it, the more people thought you were dead, the less they looked for you. Maybe in her own weird way, your mom was helping you start over.”
I almost stopped walking, Ryker’s words washing over me as I thought back on my mom. For so long, I’d blamed her for not standing by my side that I didn’t consider what little help she did give me. I still couldn’t fully appreciate her, there was a lot she did wrong. But maybe Ryker was right. She gave me the freedom and escape she couldn’t give herself.
“What did Nix say?” I asked, once more trying to piece together the puzzle and change the subject. I would have to think about my mother’s motivations another time.
“He said that Callum was seen leaving the motel, and a traffic camera caught him downtown. Your dad has a meeting at the old chapel tonight,” Gavriel replied while scowling at a man that looked at me for a little too long.
The sun would be setting in the next thirty minutes. Where was he?
“Did you all know that tomorrow’s Thanksgiving?” Blaise asked, his voice had a hint of wonder to it that I couldn’t quite place. “It’s been forever since I’ve had a good Thanksgiving. Remember our makeshift one we had that year at Virginia’s Diner?”
I laughed out loud at the memory as we continued to walk. Thanksgiving day, Mom got so drunk while cooking that she wasn’t awake for the actual dinner. My dad and Callum had to work at the station, so the Bullets took me to Virginia’s where we ordered a buffet of greasy burgers and fries. It was the most disgusting, best Thanksgiving I’d ever had.
Well. Best since the Mercers died. I’d still missed Mrs. Mercer’s Thanksgiving feasts. Looking back, I wondered if Mom struggled most on the holidays because it reminded her of them. Did she miss her friends as much as Callum did?
“Nix says Callum turned his phone off, and we haven’t seen him anywhere. I don’t really want to keep walking around. Why don’t we eat at Virginia’s for old times’ sake?” I asked.
“The whole point was for no one to see us, Sunshine,” Gavriel said while eyeing a man that nearly tripped over himself to avoid passing us on the sidewalk. The air was crisp and refreshing, the only thing keeping me awake.
“I think it’s too late for that. You didn’t account for how much this town worshipped and feared you. We have time, hopefully our plan threw him off for a bit.”
Ryker rubbed his stomach and grabbed my vacant hand, making three more people stare curiously at us. I just smiled, welcoming the judgement. How could ignorant opinions compare to the fulfillment I felt?
“I’m hungry. And tired. And Sunshine looks like she’s about ready to fall asleep standing up. Let's eat and regroup.”
The drive to Virginia’s Diner on the other side of town was short. Blaise kept tickling me to keep me awake, placing kisses on my inner wrist as Gavriel drove. Aside from the fact that we weren’t in Blaise’s mustang, it felt like old times. Just me and the Bullets against the world. However, despite the warm feelings of nostalgia, I still missed Callum.
“I hope he’s okay,” I choked out, the exhaustion burning away my resolve to keep strong and convince myself that this was necessary for Callum to grow.
“I’m more worried he’ll kill Paul Bright before I get the chance to stab him a few times,” Gavriel said in a low, threatening growl that made me shiver. It occured to me then that I wasn’t surpri
sed by Gavriel’s anger. I’d come to expect it. It was Callum’s rash decision to come here that shocked me. Maybe I was putting them into neat little boxes, categorizing them to whatever archetype I assigned in my head.
Callum was the good guy. The dependable one.
Ryker was wise and tortured.
Blaise was fun, flirty, and devoted.
Gavriel was intense, protective, and violent.
But even Callum showed signs of darkness, our fuck in the cemetery was proof of that. Ryker fought through his torment and came out swinging. Blaise could be more intuitive and serious than all of them. And Gavriel craved the opportunity to be compassionate. I assigned each of them a need within me, and maybe because of that, I was holding them back. People say that comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s actually expectations. The more I expected each of them to act a certain way, the more they pushed back, diving into the depths of their personalities and proving me wrong.
Virginia’s Diner looked about the same, even though it had aged. The owners obviously took care of it. I didn’t recognize the hostess though, and they hired a new chef, but the food on the menu was still greasy and glorious. The four of us filed into the booth, and a heavy sense of nostalgia fell over me. “Happy Thanksgiving, guys,” I said with a tentative grin. Was I allowed to enjoy this moment while Callum was out there doing God-knows-what?
“You’re allowed to enjoy this,” Blaise whispered into my ear. He was sitting beside me—always beside me. I had thought Ryker was the one afraid to lose me, but with how attached Blaise had been these last few days, I wondered if he was still having lingering doubts that I’d stay.
“I’m not going anywhere after this, by the way,” I rushed out on a whim. I didn’t need prompting, and the setting wasn’t anything special for such a declaration. As families around us ate their food, and the heater hummed above us, I confirmed that this was it for me. “I know we haven’t talked about what happens after my father”—I looked around, checking to see if anyone was listening—“after we kill my father. We haven’t discussed this.” I gestured between the four of us. “I want all four of you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
A steady peace seemed to fall over them all. Blaise relaxed beside me, as if he just needed to hear confirmation that I wouldn’t ever leave them again. Gavriel smirked, like he already knew the secrets of my heart but still appreciated that I’d vocalized my intentions. Ryker seemed disbelieving. I knew that he’d be the hardest to crack. Even though he understood why I’d left, the pain of my absence still lingered, threatening him with being alone at every turn, no matter how hard he fought it.
No one responded, there was no need to. What we were didn’t need words or some extravagant plan. I wasn’t going to systemize my feelings for them, nor was I going to organize our relationships into something that made sense. It didn’t have to make sense. It didn’t need reason. I just needed them.
The door chimed, and I could feel the shift in the air. It was like my soul sighed in relief, knowing even before my eyes could confirm that Callum was here. I looked up, my hazel eyes connecting with his perfect blue ones. He stared at me with an intensity so hot that I nearly dropped the glass of Coke I was holding. “Found Callum,” I said.
He ignored the crowds of Chesterbrook civilians wanting to pat him on the back and welcome him home. Always the golden boy. He walked towards me with purpose, not leaving a second or inch to chance. I was then pulled from the booth, and his lips slammed down on mine. He cradled me in his arms, my entire body going weak from the love being poured into me by his lips.
Hollers erupted around us from the other people eating. His hands were in my hair, his teeth were on my skin. I was moaning into his mouth, not caring about our audience. I didn’t know if this kiss was the end or the beginning, and I was going to enjoy each hot second of it, even if it killed me.
“Sunshine,” he whispered between kisses. My name, my true name, was like a prayer on his lips, and I felt the weight of my previous identity completely fade away at his acceptance of me. “Sunshine, I love you,” he whispered.
It wasn’t until someone tapped my shoulder that we reluctantly broke away and turned to face the group. Blaise was smirking at Callum, eyeing the very hard bulge in his jeans and my flushed cheeks with appreciation. Ryker took a sip of his drink before mumbling, “Finally, fucker.”
But Gavriel didn’t look amused. He looked pissed. “Bullets have three rules, and you broke all of them,” my controlling Bullet announced.
“What are the rules?” I blurted out. No one had mentioned these to me before.
Ryker held up his hand, as if to tick them off. “Don’t hurt Sunshine. Bullets before everything else. And don’t do anything stupid alone.”
Callum conveniently avoided answering Gavriel. “I’ve got a plan. But I’m taking Sunshine for a couple hours. Meet me at the old chapel off Carriage Lane at ten.”
Gavriel stood, brushing his hands of the crumbs before stalking towards us. The punch came like a flash. I missed the wind back, all I heard was knuckles cracking at the impact. Gavriel was efficient. He didn’t waste time, and Callum took the hit without complaint, crumbling under the force of his fist. Gavriel wasn’t playing fair, charging cheapshots to my name and making Callum eat the cost.
Blaise was up in an instant, pulling me to the side as Gavriel grabbed the front of Callum’s button down shirt. “I let you have your time to grieve, but since you seem back to normal, we need to get a few things straight. You don’t get to just take her whenever you want. You don’t get to storm in and hurt her whenever you want. You want time with Sunshine? You pay the fucking price. You hurt her again, and I’ll kill you, Mercer. I’ll kill you without a second thought. Cut you up into tiny pieces and feed you to the earth with a fucking smile on my face. I’m in charge here. You see her when I say you can, and only after you’ve earned it. I will always always do right by her. If you ever fuck up again, I won't hesitate to end you.”
My mouth dropped open, and my gaze quickly looked around the room. No one was eating. Virginia’s Diner was completely silent, everyone hanging onto Gavriel’s words with a vice-like grip.
Callum turned red in the face as he absorbed each statement. He was pissed, lashing out as Gavriel once again asserted his dominance. “I feel sorry for people like you,” Callum spat. He sounded brave despite the tension in his stance. “It’s those who’ve had their independence stripped from them that crave control the most. I’ve seen it enough at my job. Someone once made you feel powerless, so you take it out on us. I’ll let you boss me around because I pity you, Gavriel. Not because I respect you.”
Gavriel’s spine straightened in that deadly way I’d come to learn as him restraining himself. The gun hidden behind his suit jacket was just a reach away, a vibrant bullet only held back by the trigger. There was no safety switch with Gavriel Moretti.
“Keep your pity, I don’t need it. Give me your loyalty,” Gavriel replied in a dark tone.
Callum looked like he wanted to fight more. He might have accepted me, but he hadn’t accepted giving up control to Gavriel, and I wasn’t sure if he ever would. He had to decide if I was worth it or not, first.
But to my surprise, Callum choked out two little words that solidified our group once and for all. “Yes, sir.” Gavriel held his gaze for a moment longer before letting him go.
Gavriel straightened his tie and popped his neck, a snarl on his face as he peered at Callum with disgust. Blaise was still holding me, and I trembled, the tiny tremor making Gavriel look at me. He zeroed in on my expression, pushing Blaise away to cup my face.
“You want to go with him, Love?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. Gavriel smiled, pleased with my answer. Despite the display of power, I saw in his eyes that he wanted this all to work as much as I did.
“See you at ten.”
Chapter Twenty
The night sky was beautiful as the scenery gradually got mo
re rural. Callum was silent during the drive. I wasn’t sure where we were going but recognized that he was taking me just outside of town, about twenty minutes from the chapel he spoke of. I just held his hand, letting the silence remain heavy. I didn’t want to talk about all the things that had hurt us, or all the things we should be doing. I didn’t want to do anything but enjoy his company.
We stopped at a cute little bed and breakfast with scattered cottages on the property. Trees covered the ground, and you could see the faint outline of smoke escaping the chimneys of some cottages. When we first pulled up, I felt confused. “Callum?” I asked, and he let out a shaky exhale, as if nervous. Turning to me, I took in the bruise forming on his jaw in the interior glow of the car.
“You deserved so much more than I gave you, Sunshine. You deserved candles and flowers and adoration. I’m going to give you that, I’m going to give you myself as I am right here, right now.” The determined look on Callum’s face made me swoon. “I’m giving in, Sunshine. After tonight there will be no doubt that I’m a Bullet. But I want to make love to you as Agent Mercer, first.”
He gently leaned over the center console of his rental car to kiss my lips before getting out and circling the car to open the door for me. I took a quick moment to brush my hands through my hair, laughing at how tired and worn I looked. I was exhausted and on the brink of killing my father, but ready for a sweet date with my teenage crush.
Callum guided me out of the car and led me down a dark trail to a cottage situated on the edge of the property. “I knew you’d follow me here,” Callum said with certainty. “There’s a certain loyalty to the Bullets I can appreciate.”
“Yeah?” I asked, my voice shaky with anticipation.We arrived at the front door, which was painted yellow, a cheery shade for such an ominous night. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” I asked. We’d been searching for him all day, a simple text would have simplified things.
