I can’t picture her there either. I can’t picture her anywhere but with me, wherever I am.
“Where do you see yourself?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. I like the city but being close to the beach would be nice. Maybe traveling. I like the idea of jumping around a bit, seeing the world.”
“I can picture you doing that.”
She lifts one shoulder in a small shrug. “Well, it isn’t exactly a plan, but I’ll have a degree in graphic design and I can do that almost anywhere. There are a lot of contract and remote jobs so I could live wherever I want. What about you? Have you decided yet?”
“No. I promised myself I wouldn’t spend the summer obsessing about it and that’s been pretty easy with you here. Am I crazy if I want to continue to do both sports?” She’s the only person I’ve really asked their opinion. Everyone else has asked mine, given me advice, but not Sydney, she’s made it clear that she’ll support me no matter what, but she’s never told me what she thinks I should do.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yeah, of course. That’s always been my dream, but actually pulling it off?” I push my ice cream around with the spoon.
“If anyone can do it, it’s you. You’re incredible.”
I don’t voice my other concern that has absolutely nothing to do with getting drafted by two pro sports. How am I going to do that and have Sydney by my side? Or any girl for that matter.
It isn’t a life people dream about. The money, the fame, sure, but not the reality of it. Gone more often than not, ready to pick up your life and move any time you’re traded... it’s a lonely life for a significant other. Or so Tara tells me. She’s super into those reality TV shows about NBA players’ wives. Keeping someone else happy was never my concern. Selfish or not, I’ve worked hard to make my dreams a reality. But now… I wonder if Sydney could see herself living like that?
But it’s the last summer of fun and I’m no more anxious to answer that question than I am to decide my own future.
Back at the house, Sydney heads for her room instead of mine. “I’m going to shower and change.”
“All right. I’ll leave the door open if you want to come back and cuddle.”
Stepping back to me, she presses her mouth to mine kissing me and then pulling back but letting her lips linger close. “Thank you for tonight. I had a great time.”
“Me too, babe. Always.”
She closes the door behind her as she goes. In my room, I flop onto the bed and lay on my back. I kick off my shoes and continue to stare up at the ceiling in the dark.
Restless. Anxious. Frustrated.
I can handle the emotions, but now I wonder if Jonah’s onto something. Feeding my regret of the past by holding back in the present, what good does that do? I fucked-up years ago and there’s nothing I can do to change that, but I can show her now.
Fuck. I move to a stand so quick I get a little lightheaded. My legs eat up the space between our rooms. I knock hoping she’ll hear me over the shower. “Syd?”
“One minute.”
I can hear her rustling around in the bedroom so she’s definitely not in the shower yet. I don’t really have a plan. Fuck her senseless. It’s a good start anyway.
When she opens the door, it’s only a crack and I can tell immediately something’s going on. The uneasiness is written all over her pretty face. “What’s up?”
“Is everything okay?” I try to see past her.
“Yeah, um…” She rolls her bottom lip behind her teeth.
“Babe?”
Her grip on the door lessens and I push it open. The room is lit with candles—ones I’m pretty sure go in the bathroom. My mom has them sprinkled all over this place. Her feet are bare, but she’s still in the dress she wore out. She holds a deck of cards in her hands. “I wanted to surprise you. Listen, I know you have a plan for our first five dates—”
“Change of plans.”
19
Sydney
My mouth opens on a yelp that Tanner catches with his tongue. With no warmup or pretense, this kiss is hard and demanding and makes his intentions clear. Or maybe I’m just being hopeful.
His hands slide down my back and dip below my butt, and he hoists me up into his arms. I wrap my legs around him, and he walks us back to the bed. He lays me down gently, never breaking the kiss.
I don’t know what changed tonight, but I’m beyond ready. I want him. I’ve wanted him for two years—no even before that—but now I want him in all the same ways plus a million ways I never imagined before this time together at the lake.
With greedy fingers, I fumble for the hem of his T-shirt and lift. He stops only long enough to let me pull it over his head. I toss it and his mouth slams back down on mine. His skin is warm to the touch and I glide my palms over his hard muscles. Tanner has the kind of body that demands attention and respect. I give it both.
Excitement and nerves, the sheer gravity of what’s happening makes my breaths come too fast.
“Air,” I choke out. “Oh my god, I just got really nervous. We’re going to do this, aren’t we?”
He stops, those dark blue eyes stare down at me. “Do you not want to?”
I scramble to sit up, and he sits back on his feet.
“No, I do. I so do. It’s just… what if it’s bad? Or it’s so good we never leave this bed again? Or the rumor is true and you’re so big that it’s not physically possible for us to consummate?”
He shakes with laughter. “Consummate?”
“It’s a word!”
Tanner tries and fails to stop laughing. He clears his throat a few times and finally gets himself under control.
“Babe, it’s us. Of course it’s going to be amazing, but we don’t have anywhere to be for two weeks. I promise by then no matter how good it is, you’ll be ready to leave the bed. And if not, we’ll drop out of school and live here in our dirty sex sheets.”
“And the other thing?”
His lips twitch. “It’ll fit.”
My gaze drops to his jeans, and I reach out and unbutton them, then slide the zipper down until I can see the band of his black boxer briefs and his very large bulge. Seriously, he’s huge or stuffing socks down there. I was only slightly exaggerating when I said I was worried about it fitting. The guys talk about how big he is almost as much as the girls.
He’s so still I’m not sure he’s breathing as I move my fingers down to cup him through the cotton material. When I reach my target, he groans low in his throat. Warmth and need spread through me with delicious pleasure. Tanner isn’t even touching me, but I feel him in every cell of my being.
“Well, I’ve confirmed the rumors,” I say and swallow thickly. Slowly, I slide the material down as far as I can. Tanner helps by moving to stand beside the bed and together we strip him of his boxers and jeans.
He’s beautiful. Long and thick. A bead of precum has gathered at the tip and I lean forward and swipe my tongue along the head. His ab muscles contract making his six-pack and the V along his hips more defined.
At his sides, his hands are curled into fists. The force makes the veins in his hands and forearms more prominent. Dark blue eyes are intently focused on my every move. He’s letting me have this—holding back so I feel comfortable, allowing me to control the pace. His dick twitches in front of me.
“That’s fun. It’s like he’s waving.”
Tanner’s head tilts back and he looks up. Some of the tension leaves his body as he chuckles. “I’m pretty sure he’s begging.”
“Oh yeah? What does he want?”
He goes from laughing to serious in a flash. “Your mouth,” he says gruffly.
As I move closer, his left hand slides through my hair at the nape of my neck. He makes a fist, holding my head tight and tender as I take him in my mouth.
“Dreamed of this so many times.”
I know that it’s true, that he wouldn’t make something like that up, but hearing it sounds so crazy. All this time
we could have been doing this. I could have given him so many blow jobs by now.
Gliding down his length, I keep my eyes on him. The hard set to his jaw and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. He groans and then mutters, “So good.”
I’m starting to get into it. Taking a little more and swirling my tongue along the underside. He continues to praise me with grunts and moans that light up my confidence and encourage me. Tears well in my eyes as I attempt to deep throat him.
The hand in my hair tightens and guides me up as his mouth crashes down on me. We tumble back onto the bed. While he kisses me, his hands roam down my body to the hem of my dress. All this shuffling has bunched the material up to my hips, but he tugs harder, trying to bring it up higher.
“Torture device,” he says against my lips.
“What?”
“Your dresses are torture devices. The bright colors and the way they mold to your curves. They make me crazy.” His head dips lower and he kisses a trail down my neck and chest then over the material, nipping and pulling like he’s taking his punishment out on the material.
When he’s gathered the spandex around my belly button and it isn’t going any farther, I sit up and help him get it over my head.
I hadn’t thought about being self-conscious until I realize he’s having a stare off with my boobs. Every second he doesn’t blink I worry that he doesn’t like what he sees.
“Hello there,” he whispers.
“Ummm… hi?”
“Shh. I wasn’t talking to you.” He brings a hand up and stretches his palm over one breast. Then the other. With a goofy grin on his face he squeezes and tweaks the nipple. Those long fingers finally slide down over my stomach and hips, around to my butt, which he also squeezes.
It’s harder than expected to stay still while he so thoroughly scopes me out. My heart is racing, and I have so much adrenaline and desire pulsing through my veins.
“This is gonna be fun,” he says as his arm hooks around my lower back and brings me down onto the mattress.
His naked body stretches out and covers mine for the first time. Our kisses become less playful. We cling to one another. I claw at him and wrap my legs around him trying to get even closer.
“A thousand things I want to do to you.” He tries to pull back but my hold on him is too tight for him to get very far. “Need to get condoms.”
“Under the pillow.”
With a sly smile, he checks beneath the pillow and pulls out a sleeve of condoms.
“There’s no nightstand in here,” I say with a shrug.
He tears one off and tosses the rest on the floor. He’s quick to rip the wrapper open with his teeth and then cover himself with the latex, but he pauses once he’s ready and stares down at me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask when it seems like too much time has gone by without him moving.
“Not a damn thing.”
The head of his cock pushes at my entrance and I hold my breath. So does he, I think. Brow knit with concentration and jaw set tightly, Tanner fills me so completely I’m not sure I can move.
“Oh, fuck, babe, you’re so tight.” He drops his head forward and mutters a string of curses. “Bet me I can’t last more than a minute?”
“Bet you?” I giggle and my body grips him tighter. We both groan at the intensified sensation.
“Use that competitiveness for the greater good.”
“I bet you can’t last more than three minutes.”
“I didn’t say ask for a miracle.” Those blue eyes meet mine with humor and passion. His smile falls slowly as he somehow buries himself farther inside of me.
My body hums and stretches. I arch into him to create more friction and to see what reactions I can elicit from him. There’s something insanely empowering about being responsible for the look of drugged pleasure on his face.
Tanner nuzzles between my boobs. “Are you counting? Has it been one minute? Can I move yet?”
“And sixty,” I say like I’ve been keeping track this entire time.
I’m sure he knows I haven’t, but my words encourage him all the same. There’s no slow build up, no sweet kisses—there’ll be time for all of that later. Right now, it’s a race for release.
He grabs my hips on either side as he pumps harder. His mouth skims my skin, teeth graze my navel and then my breasts.
The noises coming out of Tanner are completely unintelligible but his grip on my body and the tempo say everything. My orgasm builds and it’s hard to keep my eyes from falling closed or rolling back in my head, but I’ve never seen anything more spectacular than Tanner on the brink of unraveling.
I gasp and moan, so close I can’t hold off any longer. “Tanner,” I cry out.
“Babe. Oooh Fuck.”
Our combined moans and grunts take us both over the edge. I sink back into the mattress and Tanner flops beside me. He blows out a long breath and my chest rises and falls as I try to catch my breath.
“More than three minutes of that might kill me.” I fight to fill my lungs back up with air.
He barks out a laugh and rolls over onto his side, throwing an arm over my middle.
Laying there together, we survey the damage. Clothes strewn around the room, and the pretty floral comforter is askew. It’s really no wonder we didn’t start a fire.
“It was the candles that broke you, right?” I ask of my weak attempt to set the mood in here. The only candles in this house are those large, three wick ones.
A surprised laugh erupts from his chest and he rolls to face me. “It was you. The candles are a nice touch, though. I do love candles. Though I am not digging whatever that scent is.”
“Eucalyptus and pear.”
“I gotta get rid of this,” he says and gets up and disappears into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He comes back with a washcloth in one hand and another candle in the other. “Three more of these under the cabinet. How do you feel about vanilla birch?”
“It can’t be worse.”
He lights the candle and sets it on the floor next to the other one. He sits on the edge of the bed and carefully he runs the damp cloth over my inner thighs and over my pussy. All the nerve endings bloom back to the surface. Once he’s finished, he follows it up by dropping open-mouth kisses along my hips and lower stomach. His nose edges down along my clit and then his tongue darts out.
I squirm underneath him. His arms loop around my legs and push them farther apart as he settles between my thighs. He’s in no rush this time. Every swipe of his tongue, suction, and nibble is done at a leisurely pace.
It’s no matter, though. He brings me to the brink quickly all the same. I grind against his mouth and tug at the thick strands of hair on his head.
This time, when the orgasm rips through me, I can’t even remember his name let alone call it out. I fall back boneless and satiated.
“I can’t believe we could have been doing this all along. I want to kick myself.”
“I thought the same thing earlier,” I say, eyes closed. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll make up for all of it and then some.”
Since neither of us has much in the way of energy, we warm up food and bring it to bed. We sit up talking and eating. We don’t bother getting dressed. Legs crossed and knees touching, we share what’s left of the two-day-old takeout.
“I think I like that one better,” I say around a mouthful of food and nod toward his.
“Here, last bite.” He extends the fork toward me and I take it.
He sets the empty container on the bed. “What do you say about taking the boat out tomorrow?”
“Sure, that sounds fun. I can work on my tan.”
His gaze drops to my boobs again. For as self-conscious as I am about them, he seems to like them just fine, tan lines and all.
“You misunderstood. I want to teach you to take her out. But I won’t complain if you want to be a topless captain. Captainess? Is there a feminine version of captain? Captainette?”
“Really?!�
��
“Yeah. We’ve got two weeks left, plus our annual trips, thought you might want to know how.”
A vision of us ten years from now out on the water together, me driving and him kicked back looking happy and relaxed dances in my mind.
Captain or passenger, I don’t really care as long as we hold on to that promise to see each other. Everything beyond that just doesn’t matter.
20
Sydney
We don’t make it out of bed the next morning. Not the afternoon either. Sometime midmorning I declared that no one could leave the bed all day except to go to the bathroom. A day filled with all the sex.
“Do you want to go out for dinner?” Tanner asks as he traces small circles on my stomach, his head resting on my chest.
“You mean like get dressed and leave the house?”
He gently bites the peak of one breast. “Technically, I still owe you two dates, and we can come right back here and get in this bed when we’re done.”
“I think the three orgasms last night and the two today cover whatever you had planned for date four and five.”
Crawling up my body, the glint in Tanner’s eye is sexy as hell. He takes my lips, and then his stomach growls so loudly, I giggle into his mouth.
“All right, fine. I call uncle. We can leave the bed.”
He jumps up and then comes to a halt. I’ve deprived him of food to the point he’s more excited about that than sex.
“Woah, I just got a little lightheaded.” He squeezes his eyes shut and wobbles to the side. “Turns out man can’t survive on orgasms alone.”
I stand and wrap my arms around his neck. “Just out of curiosity, what were date four and five?”
“Date four was renting jet skis and going out on the lake, which we should definitely still do, and date five… involved a lot of candles and wine and a sexy striptease.”
The Pass Page 13
