“And what if you don’t pray?” Marlee’s cheeks turned bright red. “What if I don’t really believe in all of that? God, the Bible, Jesus. I mean, there are so many sketchy things in the Bible, and, believe me, I’ve been trying to figure it out. Like, for instance, the creation story in Genesis. God creates Eve, but she’s as an afterthought? Hmm, Adam needs a helper, let’s make a woman from his rib, but, of course, she’s not equal to him in any way.” The sarcasm in Marlee’s voice was clear, and Lisa’s heart went out to her. She looked so troubled. “I mean, am I going to hell if I don’t believe all this stuff?”
“Do you believe in heaven and hell, Marlee?” Ronnie asked.
Marlee gathered her thoughts and said, “You know what? Not really. I don’t want to offend anybody, but I can’t wrap my head around all of this God stuff. I’m more of a believer in math and science.”
The table got quiet for a moment, and then Alivia said, “How about you, Lisa?”
“Hmm?”
“God? Ever doubt His existence?”
“Never.”
“Never?” Alivia’s tone made it crystal clear that she didn’t believe her.
“Nope, never. I get, geez, I don’t know how to describe this, but I get a warm feeling when I’m in church or praying or whatever. It’s like I get strength or empowerment. I feel hope. I feel love. It makes me feel like I can do anything.”
“This youth alliance debate is gonna challenge your beliefs,” Alivia stated matter-of-factly. Her eyes narrowed as her gaze bore down on Lisa. “There’s no way you can handle what we’ve got planned.”
Lisa recoiled as if struck by Alivia’s words, but then leaned back across the table. “Is that a threat, Alivia?”
Lisa was secretly pleased when Julie pushed her chair back, seemingly ready to defend her friend if necessary.
“No, it wasn’t a threat,” Karl said to Lisa and put his arm around Alivia’s shoulder to pull her away from the table. He sent Alivia a look as if to say she had overstepped. “We’re all friends here.”
“Yeah, right,” Lisa mumbled and looked away.
“Hey, Lisa,” Marlee said, “I’ve been meaning to ask you. What the heck did you say to my grandmother the other day?” She was clearly changing the subject.
“What d’ya mean?” Lisa said.
“We’ve had nothing but spinach this and spinach that for dinner. Grandma said you were worried that my family wasn’t getting enough iron. Man, I had no idea spinach could be prepared in so many disgusting ways.” She looked over at Susie and said, “Except for that one dish with all the cheese. That one was almost palatable.”
Susie and the rest laughed at Marlee’s silliness, but Lisa couldn’t. She’d lost her sense of humor for some reason. Maybe coming to this party was a bad idea. She should leave. She could text Sam to pick her up on that side street by Marlee’s car.
She was just about to get up and find her coat, when Ronnie said, “Speaking of debates, Anne wants us to record opening statements on Tuesday.” He let Karl add rum to his plastic cup of Coke.
“Opening statements?” Lisa wasn’t sure what he meant. She’d never been in a formal debate before.
Marcus said, “You basically start with the topic of debate. One side makes a statement that has potentially differing opinions.” Marcus was on the debate team at school. Lisa hoped he would agree to argue for her side of the debate; they could use his experience.
“Here’s what I think,” Jordan said. He pulled a chair up to the table. “For the first session, both sides should trade one-liners. You know? Rapid fire. Back and forth. That’ll set the tone of what’s to come.”
“Like what?” Lisa asked. She glanced at the kitchen clock. Where was Sam?
“Like, uh, Alivia or Ronnie can say, ‘God hates gay people,’ and then Lisa can come back with ‘God made me in his own image, so how can he hate me?’”
“Oh, I get it,” Ronnie narrowed his eyes at Jordan. “You are very clever.”
“We should have three cameras,” Jordan mused. “Hey, I just made myself the director, didn’t I?”
“Why not? It’s your turn,” Ronnie said, “but I don’t know where you’re gonna get three cameras. Anne had trouble getting the one.”
“Aww, we have to have three,” Jordan whined. “We’ll have one camera trained on the religious goody goodies and the other on the heathen homosexuals and the third will capture everything in wide angle. Oh, my God,” he squealed. “I can’t wait to get started.”
“So back to the one-liners,” Alivia said clearly happy to get back to torturing Lisa. “What if I say—”
“Where are my people?” Sam burst into the kitchen.
Lisa stood up so fast, she knocked her chair over. Sam flew into her arms and they melted together. Oblivious to everyone, Lisa whispered in Sam’s ear. “I missed you so much. Don’t you ever leave me like that again.”
“I won’t.”
They kissed right there in the kitchen in front of everyone, much to Ronnie’s delight who shouted, “lesbo-a-go-go!” Jordan added a catcall whistle.
When the kiss ended, Sam didn’t let go of Lisa, but reached out with one hand and smacked Ronnie on the arm.
“Hey!” he said, and rubbed the spot where she’d hit him.
“You deserved it,” Sam said with a smile.
Sam’s blonde hair was loose over her shoulders. Lisa wanted to run her hands through it, but she reluctantly stepped back so Sam could take off her coat.
“Hey, everybody,” Sam said, and hung her coat over the back of the chair Lisa had vacated. “It’s so good to be back in the good old U. S. of
A. You don’t even know.”
“Did you miss us, Samantha Rose?” Alivia asked, her voice soft, her eyes flirty, her breasts pushed up and out toward Sam as if saying hello to the world.
Oddly, at that moment Lisa couldn’t recall what the Bible said about murder.
Chapter Fourteen
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.”— 1 Corinthians 16:13
LISA AND SAM sneaked away from the New Year’s party to find a quiet spot to reconnect. Lisa held Sam tight when Sam cried about getting home from the airport earlier that evening and walking into her empty house. Helene, Sam’s nanny, had moved out while the family spent Christmas in Switzerland. Sam knew she’d be gone when they got back, but seeing the proof was hard for her to take. Lisa kissed away Sam’s tears until the kisses developed into something more.
They kissed again at the stroke of midnight and Lisa made two silent New Year’s resolutions. The first one was to pass her driver’s test in a month and a half, and the second was to keep her head held high if and when the kids at school called her names or whispered about her when school started again. She was pretty sure that everyone would have found out by now that she’d gone to the Snowball Dance as Sam’s girlfriend.
After her silent resolutions, Lisa and Sam restated their vows of commitment to each other. Feeling secure, Lisa mentioned her fears about Alivia trying to get in between them, but Sam reassured her that nothing and no one would ever break their bond. Ever. Satisfied, Lisa snuggled with Sam until it was time for Marlee to drive her home.
THE FIRST DAY back at school after Christmas break was the longest day of the century. The news about her and Sam going to the dance together had made its way around Clarksonville over the break. Girls in the hallway and in her classes whispered behind their hands and then laughed. Even guys looked at her, which had never happened before. Some of it could have been her paranoid imagination, but she didn’t think so. It was exactly the kind of attention she didn’t want, the kind of thing she had been trying to avoid. Now that the unwanted attention was happening, she almost regretted going to the dance with Sam, but then again that was ridiculous. She loved Sam and wanted to do things with Sam, like go to dances with her. She had to stop hiding. She had to come out once and for all and be herself. Remembering her resolution, she kept her
head high and tried to let the stares and whispers roll off her back. It was a losing battle, and she felt like bolting out the front doors of the school and running home.
Julie and Marcus had come out of the closet, too, and held hands as they walked to classes together. Being open and honest must have been their New Year’s resolution, too. A lot of kids whispered and laughed right in front of them. Lisa couldn’t wrap her head around what was so fascinating about other people’s lives that you had to whisper and laugh.
Both Lisa and Julie were relieved when they headed to the gym for their last class of the day. Lisa pulled the gym door open so Julie could go through first. With the new semester came a new elective. Lisa had requested a last period second semester PE class, so that if softball games took her out of school early, it wouldn’t affect any academic courses.
One section of the old bleachers was almost completely full of junior girls needing to fulfill their physical education requirement for the year.
“Geez,” Lisa said, “this is going to be a huge PE class.”
“No kidding, Brown girl,” Julie said using Lisa’s nickname. “I hope we don’t end up playing dodge ball every day.”
Lisa grimaced for Julie’s sake. “You ain’t lying, White girl.”
They sat on the lowest bleacher, the only bleacher left, and chatted until their teacher came in wheeling a cart full of combination locks. Lisa was relieved to see that their softball coach was going to be their PE teacher.
Coach Spears surveyed the noisy crowd of girls. The instant the late bell rang, she blew her whistle. Many of the girls held their hands over their ears and looked offended that their uber-important conversations had been so rudely interrupted. Lisa bit down a smile. They would soon learn that this was not going to be a democracy. Coach Spears was easy-going, but she suffered no fools.
“When I call your name,” Coach Spears said, “come up and get your lock. Then you will stand silently on this line until everyone’s name has been called.” A murmur of groans went through the bleachers.
Lisa exchanged a glance with Julie. Geez, did they think they weren’t going to have to move on the first day of class? Lisa couldn’t wait to see what Coach Spears had in store for them that semester.
Their coach motioned to them to help her give out the combinations. As Coach called the names out one by one, Lisa and Julie searched for the lock with the girl’s name, locker, and combination attached to it.
“Missy Matthews,” Coach Spears read.
Missy, a thin brunette, stood and picked her way down the bleachers. Her classmates parted the way for her as if Cleopatra were walking among them. Lisa tried not to roll her eyes as the self-appointed queen of the junior class made her way to the lock cart. Missy had a way of gathering followers, just like a royal court. It was kind of disgusting to watch the other girls fawn over her and subjugate themselves into her entourage. Missy was, of course, going out with Brad Potter, the best looking guy in the junior class.
There was a huge pile of locks and neither Lisa nor Julie could find Missy’s name at first. They started over, moving the locks one by one from the right side to the left.
Missy groaned impatiently as if she were surrounded by incompetent morons. At this point Lisa had finally located Missy’s lock, but waited an extra beat or two before handing it to her. Missy didn’t acknowledge her existence.
Whatever. Lisa would not be heartbroken because Missy Matthews dissed her.
Once in the actual locker room, the girls scurried about finding their assigned lockers and making sure the combination worked properly. There were four long rows of lockers, stacked two high. Julie found her locker right away in the first row, but Lisa didn’t find hers until she’d gotten to the far corner of the last row. Thank God it was a top locker. At almost six feet tall, it would suck to have to bend for a bottom one. Coach Spears most definitely had a hand in that selection.
Lisa groaned when she saw Missy coming down her row, head down, reading the numbers. Marnie and Collette, two of her ladies-inwaiting, tagged behind.
“Aha,” Missy exclaimed, “here it is. Why do they have to make this so hard?”
This time Lisa couldn’t hold back her laugh. She looked away to hide her grin and snapped the lock onto her locker.
“No way,” Missy said.
Lisa turned around, but stopped dead in her tracks when she realized Missy’s comment was directed at her.
“No, no, no. There is no way I’m changing in front of her.” Missy pointed a finger at Lisa.
Knowing there was no other person standing unseen behind her, Lisa stood even taller. Sure that she was now six and a half feet tall, she took a step closer to Missy. Lisa tried to hold back her laugh when Missy and her maids took a step back.
“I’m not—no way,” Missy said again. She looked at her ladies-inwaiting for confirmation. Each of them grimaced as if looking at something disgusting.
“Is there a problem here, girls?” Coach Spears turned the corner and positioned herself in between Lisa and Missy.
“None here, Coach,” Lisa said. She tried to stay six and half feet tall, but the day had worn on her nerves, and she was shrinking. The whispers, the judgmental looks, the nervous glances had nearly exhausted her.
“She’s a...” Missy said. Disgust battled with fear on her face.
“She’s a what? Junior? Tall girl? Softball player? Big sister?” Coach Spears suggested.
“She’s a dyke.”
Lisa inhaled sharply. She hadn’t been called a name in so long that she was out of practice. Her armor must have thinned since her childhood days of being called a bastard.
“And what if she is? What does that have to do with your locker?”
“I’m not undressing in front of her.” Missy’s entourage shook their heads in disgust as if Lisa were the scum of the earth. Lower than low.
“And you don’t have to,” Coach Spears said calmly surprising everyone.
“I don’t?”
“No, of course not. You can drop PE, take a study hall, and then take two semesters of PE as a senior.”
“No way. You can’t make me do that,” Missy said.
“I’ll take this locker,” a voice said from the around the corner. Julie appeared and reached her hand out for Missy’s lock.
No one moved until Coach Spears said, “That’s an acceptable compromise.”
“Why should I be the one to move?” Missy stomped her foot.
Lisa could not believe Missy had actually stomped her foot at Coach Spears.
“You’re moving all right.” Coach Spears took the lock from Missy and handed it to Julie. “You’re moving right to Assistant Principal Braun’s office.”
“What? Why?”
“Why are you still here?” Coach Spears was only five foot four, but you never would have known it watching her stare down Missy Matthews.
“Fine. Whatever. Daddy is going to call, and you’ll see what happens to you then.” Missy’s entourage scurried out of her way as she stormed out of the locker room.
Coach Spears turned to look at Lisa and rolled her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll live,” Lisa said. “I guess.” She truly hadn’t known the depths of homophobia some people had. “What’s going to happen now?”
“Phht.” Coach Spears waved her hand. “Mr. Matthews will call, but he won’t call me directly. No, the coward will go right over my head to Assistant Principal Braun who will say all the right words to make him go away. It’ll be just like last year when I took her PE class out to the field to play soccer and a light rain started to fall completely destroying her hairdo before we could get back inside. Or how ’bout the time—”
“No, I get it, Coach. I get it,” Lisa said, her eyes wide. She exchanged a glance with Julie. She had no idea people like that existed. “I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble.”
“You? Nah.” Coach Spears winked at Lisa. “I want you to live your life. Let the Missy’s of the world bar
ely register on your radar. They are not important.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’ll try.”
“Yeah,” Julie said. “That’s good advice.”
Coach winked at them again and took out her whistle. Lisa and Julie flung their hands over their ears.
The whistle blew and then Coach Spears yelled to the locker room, “Be back in the bleachers in two minutes.”
Coach Spears headed out of the locker room, but before Lisa and Julie followed, Julie turned to Lisa and said, “Brown girl, why does it always feel like us versus them?”
“Good question, White girl. And we’re getting more of that tonight. You’re still going, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Julie said. “C’mon, we can’t be late for Coach Spears’s countdown.”
They hustled out of the locker room and made it to the bleachers with plenty of time to spare. Missy Matthews was nowhere in sight, but Lisa prayed that didn’t mean trouble down the line.
THE DRIVE TO Clarksonville Community College that evening was a short one. Lisa smiled when Julie reached for Marcus’s hand as they got out of Marlee’s van. It was nice to see them be open about their relationship. And it was even nicer that they were invested in the youth alliance, too. Having support when the world was full of people like Missy Matthews was a gift.
Lisa’s heart did a flip flop when she saw Sam’s car in the parking lot. How can love that makes your heart sing like that be wrong? The Missy Matthews of the world just didn’t get it. They didn’t take the time to understand. Lisa shrugged mentally. She had to let it go, like Coach Spears said. The Missy Matthews of the world were simply not important enough to waste time on.
Sam was in her arms before the door to the Student Union meeting room had closed. Their kiss didn’t have a chance to heat up though, because Anne called for their attention. A lot of the same kids from the last youth alliance meeting were there, but there were a few new faces, too, including some of the kids from Jordan’s school who were at Ronnie’s party.
Tools of the Devil Page 12
