Lowering his head, Fletcher held his breath, waiting to see if she moved away. When she didn’t, he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was slow and sensual, laden with all the pent-up desire he’d tried to forget since leaving Maddy behind.
Feeling her hands move up his arms to grasp his shoulders, Fletcher drew her closer, his arms wrapping around her back. His mouth covered hers in a hungry passion more intense than anything he’d ever experienced—except with Maddy.
Fletcher hadn’t allowed himself to remember the feel of her in his arms, the intensity she put into everything. Their first few nights together had been tentative, at times faltering, as they explored, bringing each other pleasure. Tonight, her touch, the way her hands caressed his shoulders before stroking his back, almost brought him to his knees.
His lips brushed down the soft column of her neck, kissing the pulsing hollow at the base of her throat. Her soft moan made him crazy, his kisses becoming urgent, body responding to a painful degree. Raising his mouth, he stared into her eyes, glazed with passion.
“Ah, Maddy. I’ve missed you, lass.” He grazed another kiss across her lips, feeling her tremble. “Marry me. Live with me at Circle M where we can raise our bairn together.”
Stilling an instant at the mournful expression on her face, he began to stroke his hands in a soothing motion on her back.
“Do you love me, Fletcher?”
His brows furrowed, the question catching him by surprise. Unease rushed through him. He didn’t know if he should lie, telling her he did love her, or let her know in the gentlest way possible he wasn’t certain. Would admitting he cared about her a great deal be enough? The tightening in his chest gave him his answer. She needed the truth.
“I’m not sure. I care about you very much, Maddy.” Feeling her stiffen, he rushed on. “I’ll make you a good husband and be a good da to the bairn. You’ll not be worrying about me straying, lass. I’ve no interest in any other woman.”
Sliding her hands between them, she pushed on his chest, moving out of the comforting embrace. Lower lip trembling, Maddy stared up at him, collecting her courage.
“It’s a very good offer, and I’m quite honored at your desire to do what you consider right. I’ll not have you throw away your future on a woman you don’t love. You deserve so much more than that, Fletcher.”
Jaw clenching, he glared at her. “Is the bairn mine, lass?”
Jutting out her chin, she nodded. “Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you about something so important.”
“Are you loving someone else, Maddy?”
Pain flashed in her eyes before she shook her head. “No.”
“If you left, where would you be going? Do you have family or friends who’d provide for you, care for you as I would, lass?”
Again, she shook her head. “No.”
“I’m the bairn’s da, Maddy. I’ll not let you go, taking the bairn from me.”
Blinking, a hand flew to her throat, to the exact spot Fletcher’s lips had been a few minutes before. “I don’t think…” She glanced away, finding it impossible to finish the sentence. He’d offered her so much—a safe place for her and their baby, a family, and respectability, something she was desperate to regain since working at Buckie’s.
“You’re being awfully quiet, lass. What is distressing you?”
Worrying her lower lip, a look of despair mixed with vulnerability clouded her features.
He stroked his knuckles down her cheek, his expression full of hope. Gripping her chin, he rubbed the pad of his thumb over her lower lip.
“Tell me, Maddy.”
She waved her hand toward the houses and barns in a sweeping gesture. “You have a wonderful family, Fletch. You’re successful and respected. Everyone north of Sacramento knows the MacLaren name.” Locking her gaze with his, she shook her head, hoping he’d understand. “My uncle is an outlaw, a horrible, brutal man who is searching for me. I worked in a saloon. Few people know I only served drinks and you were the only man I invited upstairs.” When Fletcher opened his mouth to respond, she touched his lips with a finger. “You must know most believe I was the same as all the other girls at Buckie’s, no more than a common saloon whore. My reputation will only hurt your family, and I can’t do that to them, or to you.”
Fletcher waited, giving her time to say more. When she remained silent, a slight grin lifted the corners of his mouth.
“So I’m understanding you, you’re saving my family embarrassment because you worked at Buckie’s.” He tilted his head in question.
Maddy gave a jerky nod.
“You’re also not wanting to ruin my future. I’m remembering you didn’t want to be standing in my way of finding a lass I might love. Do I have it right?”
Feeling heat infuse her face, she lowered her head a little, then lifted it in a questioning nod.
Reaching out, Fletcher gripped her chin, keeping her attention on him. “I’ll not be meeting another lass, Maddy. You’re the only one I want, and I’ll never be in another’s bed. As for your past, you’re insulting my family by thinking them so shallow. Once I explain, they’ll not be caring about you working at Buckie’s, and they’ll not spare a second worrying about what others think.” Dropping his hand, Fletcher took a step away, giving her a little space. “I’m wanting you Maddy, you and the bairn. Stay. You’ll not be regretting it.”
She wanted to believe him, more than he’d ever understand. Fear more potent than the reality of Dob chasing her had kept her from accepting Fletcher’s offer. She loved him so much, wanted him to love her back. Maddy didn’t doubt he’d love the baby, providing a good home.
She needed to remember their child’s future. Having a safe home and loving family was much more important than not gaining Fletcher’s love.
Closing her eyes, she breathed in, letting it out in a slow hiss. Squaring her shoulders, she rested a hand on her stomach, raising her gaze to his. Reminding herself she was doing this for the baby, Maddy nodded.
“If you’re sure this won’t hurt your family.”
The tightness in his features began to ease. “I am, lass.”
“All right, Fletcher. I’d be honored to marry you.”
Before she had a chance to draw another breath, he swept her into his arms. “Ah, lass. You’ll not be regretting your decision.” Burying his face in her hair, he allowed relief to drift over him. “I’ll never be doing anything to make you sorry.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she accepted his promises, trusting he’d keep them. What she prayed for, wanted to believe would still be possible, was the love he might never feel.
Lew slipped farther into the trees not far from the corral where Maddy spoke with someone he suspected to be one of the MacLarens. He hadn’t met the man, but by the obvious emotion sparking between the two, he believed it was Fletcher MacLaren. The man Maddy loved, the father of her baby.
Lew couldn’t hear what they were saying and didn’t dare try to get any closer. He just hoped Fletcher would make her happy, be a good father, and keep her safe from Dob and his wretched plans.
He planned to camp within the boundaries of Circle M, intending to speak with Ewan the next morning. The family needed to be warned about Dob and his intention to join with another gang to raid the MacLaren’s cattle and horse stock. He didn’t know when, but it would be soon. Whoever stood in their way could die, and his conscience wouldn’t allow him to stay silent.
Once he warned them, Lew planned to ride away, putting as much distance between himself and Dob as possible. He’d always wanted to see the Montana and Dakota territories. He planned to ride through Nevada and Utah, cutting north through Idaho before heading to Montana.
He’d heard they were always in need of lawmen in both territories. To his knowledge, he didn’t appear on any wanted posters and no one knew his name. Starting over sounded good, a relief from Dob’s constant search for Maddy, killing anyone who opposed him. A part of him wished Ross would ride with him, but he’d had ple
nty of chances to change his path and walk away from the man Lew now considered to be deranged. He understood how the atrocities of war affected a man, providing memories no one wanted to remember. Nightmares, rage, loss of decency were common within a good number of men who served for the North or South.
Lew still suffered nightmares, as did Ross and a few of the other men. Only Dob had deteriorated to a point where violence and death had become common. Killing someone almost seemed to soothe his agitation. For a few weeks afterward, he’d stay calm before the tension built again.
Right now, he knew the colonel sought revenge for the way Lew beat him before riding away. Dob would see it as a betrayal, punishable by death. The same judgment he planned for Maddy.
Warning her would soothe his guilt, as would apologizing for his part in hurting her. It may not have been his choice, but it was amazing what a man would do with a gun leveled at his head. That night, there’d been one pointed at him, another at Maddy. Lew counted it as the worst night of his life, and without having to ask, he knew she felt the same. He couldn’t ride off without begging forgiveness. Whether he received it or not didn’t matter as much as his attempt to get it.
From his hiding place, he watched Fletcher wrap his arms around her, pulling Maddy against his chest. Lew stiffened at the sight until Maddy circled his waist with her arms.
Not willing to take a chance of either of them hearing him move, he waited until they turned to walk back to the house. Resigned, Lew took one more look around before taking a trail to his small camp. Tomorrow, he’d talk to Ewan, speak with Maddy, then ride out of California to pursue his own dreams.
Fletcher and Maddy stood on the porch, hearing the sounds of his family inside, his siblings laughing. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to him.
“When we go inside, I’ll be telling my family about the decision. Unless you’re not ready, lass.”
Studying his face, she lifted a hand, cupping his cheek. Her heart clenched at the look of hope on his face. “Let’s tell them tonight.”
Leaning down, he kissed her. He could’ve become lost in passion, but forced himself to pull back. “Are you ready, lass?”
Moistening her lips, she nodded. “Yes, I’m ready.”
Holding her hand, he led her inside, walking straight into the front room. His da and ma sat on the settee. Ewan read a book while Lorna worked on embroidery. Kenzie sat on a chair watching Clint and Banner, sprawled on the floor, playing checkers.
Taking a quick glance at Maddy, he let out a shaky breath. “Ma, Da?” Fletcher waited until they looked up. Ewan was the first to speak.
“What are you needing, lad?”
Fletcher didn’t miss the way Ewan’s gaze dropped to their joined hands. “Maddy has agreed to marry me.”
Lorna dropped her embroidery, jumped up, and hurried to them. Hugging her son first, she turned her attention to Maddy, a warm smile spreading across her face.
“This is bonny news.” Her eyes began to water before she glanced at her husband. “Isn’t this grand?”
Ewan took his time rising, allowing himself time to compose his response. In the end, he strode to Fletcher, clasping his shoulder. “Your ma is right. This is grand news.”
Kenzie walked to them, hugging her brother, then Maddy, her smile infectious. “You’ll be my sister.”
Maddy swiped tears from her eyes, grinning at his family’s acceptance. “Yes, I will.”
Kenzie turned to her brothers. “Clint, Banner. Fletcher and Maddy are getting married.”
Banner glanced up and nodded. Clint made a move on the checkerboard, then looked up. “That’s good. I like Maddy.”
“I do, too,” Banner agreed, studying the board.
Lorna slipped an arm through Maddy’s, turning her toward the kitchen. “Ewan, you should be taking Fletcher into your study. The lass and I will be talking in the kitchen. We’ve lots to plan for the wedding.”
“Now, Ma?” Fletcher cocked his head at his mother.
“Aye, lad.” She patted Maddy’s stomach. “We’ve no time to waste.”
Chapter Eighteen
Kenzie made certain the news traveled fast, visiting each of the three other homes early the next morning before her mother knew what she was doing. Not long afterward, the dining room in Ewan’s home buzzed with activity.
Lorna decreed it had to take place the following Saturday. She hadn’t even looked at Maddy when making the announcement, knowing the young woman would understand the urgency. Maddy did, but it still annoyed her. She’d run her life since leaving Kansas, never having the ability to discuss her fears or difficult decisions with anyone. Lips pursed, she kept her thoughts buried inside. She’d do nothing to offend her future mother-in-law, a woman who’d welcomed her into the MacLaren clan and in whose house Maddy would be living.
“We’ve a great deal of food to prepare.” Kyla MacLaren, Colin’s mother, looked at her daughter-in-law, Sarah. “You make such wonderful pies.”
A slight smile tipped Sarah’s lips upward. “I’ll be happy to make several.”
Lorna looked at Emma, Quinn’s wife. “I know you’re riding with the men a couple days a week, but would you be able to bake bread?”
Emma touched Lorna’s arms. “Of course.” She looked at Maddy. “I’m so pleased you’re going to be a part of the family.”
Forcing a smile, Maddy nodded, not sure why they’d want a pregnant woman, one who’d slept with Fletcher for weeks without benefit of marriage, to join their family.
Emma didn’t notice the dismayed look on Maddy’s face. “It’s time someone snagged him. He’s been wild long enough.”
Maddy’s eyes widened an instant before she caught herself. “Thank you.” She knew her answer sounded weak and uncertain, but it conveyed how she felt.
“Maggie and Jinny will want to help,” Lorna said to no one in particular.
Maddy recognized the names, her stomach clenching at meeting more of Fletcher’s family.
Audrey, Quinn’s mother, tapped her fingers on the table. “They can be bringing fried chicken and making biscuits when they arrive the day of the wedding.” She looked at Lorna. “You, Kyla, and Gail can be making the roast, potatoes, and vegetables with me. Colin, Quinn, and the other lads can set up the tables and chairs.”
Maddy’s head began to spin as the women continued to make plans, becoming less and less sure of her role. “What can I do?”
Lorna raised a curved brow. “You’ll be having plenty to do, lass. Getting fitted for your dress, going to town for slippers, ribbons, and lace. Emma will be sewing the dress and driving you to town.” Lorna didn’t notice the horrified expression on Maddy’s face.
She didn’t plan to go back to town, not until Dob gave up looking for her and rode off. Maddy looked at Emma. “Would it be all right if you rode into town without me?”
“I’d be happy to get what we need, Maddy. We’ll make a list tonight.”
Letting out a relieved breath, Maddy relaxed. “I’d appreciate it. Thank you, Emma.” She glanced at Lorna, gratitude washing over her at all Fletcher’s mother had already done for her. “I appreciate everything you’re doing, Mrs. MacLaren.”
Lorna reached across the table, placing a hand over Maddy’s. “It’s time you call me Lorna, lass.”
She felt a flush of warmth. “All right…Lorna.”
The sound of the front door opening drew everyone’s attention. Maddy pushed up from her chair when she spotted Fletcher, her heart beginning to race.
The solemn expression on his face softened, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he sauntered closer to Maddy. A devastating grin flashed across his face, prompting a shiver to run through her.
“Good morning, lass.” His deep voice caused her throat to constrict, heart to pound almost painfully. Every time she saw him, his presence affected her the same way. She supposed it always would.
Loving someone without the sentiment being returned felt as if a knife had been plunged i
nto her chest. Maddy had to keep reminding herself the marriage would secure the baby’s future, nothing more. She’d do her best to ignore her own regrets and focus on the most important person in her life. The baby.
She kept her voice even, features bland. “Good morning, Fletcher.”
His eyes flashed for a moment at the formal tone, the steely resolve in her gaze. It didn’t take much to understand the intent behind her calm determination. He wasn’t a fool. Maddy was marrying him for the sake of the baby and expected nothing more from him. The thought should’ve comforted him. Instead, it caused a wave of regret. He looked at his mother.
“I’m needing to speak with Maddy.”
Cupping her elbow, he felt her stiffen before guiding her outside, and down the steps toward the barn. Entering, she stopped, a breath whooshing out at the sight of Snowflake saddled and ready to ride.
“I spoke with Kenzie and Da. They’ve no problem finding another horse for my sister. Snowflake is yours.”
She didn’t look at him before pulling out of his grasp and hurrying to her horse. Stroking the mare’s neck, Maddy kissed her nose. “Hello, Snowflake. It’s been a long time.”
The mare nickered, nuzzling her nose against Maddy’s neck.
“I’m thinking she’s glad to see you.”
Maddy glanced up, not allowing herself to smile. She had to fight her emotions when it came to Fletcher. If not, she’d find herself growing bitter and resentful at his lack of feelings. At least their baby would be loved by them both.
“Thank you.”
He narrowed his eyes at her distant tone. Fletcher didn’t care for her detached manner, but there was nothing he could do about it. Not for the first time, he regretted telling Maddy he didn’t love her. He should’ve lied, given her something to hold onto instead of dashing her hopes.
Fletcher contemplated if it would’ve been so awful a lie…or if it was a lie at all. He missed Maddy when they weren’t together, wanted to talk with her until long into the night, wanted to hold her close while they slept. One of her brilliant smiles could improve his mood, make each day pass easier knowing he’d see her in the evening. When he’d left her behind to join Blaine in Settlers Valley, the sunlight disappeared, the easy days turning to gloomy hours and lonely nights.
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