by Kym Roberts
He put his toiletries in the top drawer without saying anything then moved over and picked up the tray from their dinner.
“You treat me differently than other women.” Her eyes didn’t meet his. She couldn’t see the pity in his eyes. He viewed her as damaged, she got that. She was damaged all the way around.
“I treat women the way they want to be treated.”
“And Megan?” She let him hear her underlying question that she was too afraid to voice. “Have you slept with her?”
He stopped at the door and turned around. “Megan didn’t want anything from me.”
“How did you treat her?” She persisted.
He cocked a brow. “What makes you think I was with her?”
“She refused to pick you up if you were taking a woman back to your room. I believe she said that was asking too much of her.” Yes, Agent Artino. She’d listened to every word of that conversation.
“She wanted a dream of a man, not me.”
“Doesn’t everybody want a dream?” Sadness tinged her voice. “To believe they mean something to someone? To know they’re different than everybody else to that special someone?”
“You’re different.”
She turned away. She was so damned different it hurt.
The door opened and closed and a moment later the bed depressed next to her. “Téa.”
She refused to look. She couldn’t stare at the pity in his eyes. She didn’t want it. Not from him.
“I’m different because I’ve seen too much. I know what men are capable of. I know what they really want.”
“Not all men are that way.”
A derisive snort escaped her. “Like the government agents who stood by and watched Sandra overdose? The men you called friend—”
“They weren’t my friends. Then, now or ever.”
“Yet they worked with you. Did the same job as you do now. Traveled for your government. Got lonely on the road. Got drunk. Wanted what wasn’t theirs…”
She felt herself slipping away from him. Going back to a time in her life that was full of fear and horror. Where living meant a cage, and freedom meant death.
He grabbed her arm and made her look at him as he confessed.
“It was one lonely drunken night.”
“For you, or her?”
There was accusation in her voice that rubbed at his pride. He wasn’t like the men who took advantage of her or the other women and girls she’d known. That was not him, and she shouldn’t categorize him in that manner just so she could draw back into her shell.
“Both,” he said.
“How did you treat her?”
“The way she wanted to be treated.”
“The way we all want to be treated?” Sarcasm dripped from her words.
“Stop it, Téa. You know I’m not like them.”
“If you know so much, then what do I want?” she asked.
“To be loved.”
“Everyone wants to be loved.” She swiped at the tears that were streaming down her face. When had she begun to cry? “The fanatic wants to be loved. The politician wants to be loved. The rock star wants to be loved. That’s not what I was talking about. If you know so much about what women want. Tell me what I want.”
He brought his hand up to her face and caressed her jaw. His thumb traveled to her bottom lip. “You want a man who will make you feel treasured, yet at the same time knows your value isn’t in the bedroom. You want a man to share the little things in life. A man willing to work next to you in the kitchen, the laundry room, the yard.” He grazed the front of her teeth with the tip of his thumb as her lips parted. “You want to be savored and cherished; not put on a pedestal and worshiped. You want a man willing to put your needs ahead of his own because he enjoys seeing your pleasure.”
He pulled her onto his lap and she let him, because he was right. She wanted all of that. His hands positioned her over his hips as he drew their bodies together. He leaned in and whispered in her ear as her chest rose and fell faster than it had moments ago. “You want a man to touch you. Heat you to your core. Make you wet beyond your wildest dreams.”
She pushed against his chest. “That’s a man’s dream, to make a woman wet and wanting. All men want women to desire them, make them feel as if no other could drive them as mad as he. Every man wants a woman to moan with pleasure.”
She looked up into his eyes and she could see the hatred she felt was transferred through her gaze to his very soul. She wanted to stop, but it spewed out her mouth before she could stop herself. “They just don’t care if it’s a real moan, or a practiced one learned through beatings.” The moan that fell from her lips was like poison in his veins. She felt it and he practically tossed her off his lap.
He let the gap between them increase and dropped his hands from her body. “Do you think I’m like them?”
“Deep down, aren’t you all?” She got up and walked over to the chair and sat down. With every step she’d taken the chasm between them expanded. When she looked at him, she was surprised to find him still facing the wall away from her.
“I came here to ask you to save my sister.”
And just like that she froze. The silence between them was louder than ever before.
“She’s engaged to the man who saved you, five years ago. The agent who hid your whereabouts at the cost of his reputation, and his career. If there had been a tad bit more evidence against him, because trust me, his fellow agents tried to point the fingers of justice in his direction, he would be in a federal prison right now living out the rest of his days.” He laughed at that. “For many years, I wished that was his fate. I wanted him to suffer for what he’d done to that girl and the black eye he brought to the Service. I believed him to be the lowest of the low.”
He turned around to look at her then and suddenly it was as if she was remembering for the first time that there really had been one person who stood between her and death that day. Khaos pointed a finger at her. “I can see it on your face that you know the man I speak of. While he stands tall in plain sight for the media to tear him limb from limb, day after day in protection of you, you hide in the shadows too afraid to stand up for what is right.”
“You’ve seen what those men are capable of.”
“I have.”
“Has he faced men like that? Been subjected to their cruelty? Their sick sexual hang-ups? Their disgusting fantasies involving girls too young to know that men can be different? Because I have, and I refuse to go back to that life.”
“I want to shut them down. Permanently.”
She laughed at that. Her own little sad battle between sarcasm and cynicism. He couldn’t stop them. People believed evil like that hid in the darkness, but that wasn’t true. The vile and heinous hid in plain sight. Her lack of faith in him or hope for the future was no different from her mistrust of everything.
He grabbed her by the arms and made her stand facing him; his fingers biting into her flesh in a manner they hadn’t before. She flinched but he didn’t back down. He drew her closer. His breath blasting into her face as he demanded, “Why can’t you believe that some men are different?”
“Some men are different, but as you’re displaying now, if men are challenged, pushed to listen to the ugly truth of their nature, they use brute force to get what they want. They coerce, mold, and break those that challenge them.”
As if to contradict her words, her gaze fell to his mouth. Her tongue darted out to slowly moisten her lips only to end with her teeth digging into her bottom lip. On any other woman it would be an invitation. On Téa, he had no clue. Was it a taught seduction to distract him from what was important, or did she truly desire for him to take her right here? Right now?
“Do you want me to be rough and take what I want? Here? Now? Or do you want more than just a quick fuck against the wall? Because I want more.” The moment the words were out of his mouth he knew his mistake. He saw the light
in her eyes extinguish and he wanted to take back what he’d said. He didn’t want to fuck her. Yes, he was a man who could be steered by desire and lust from time to time, but he knew the value of a woman’s pleasure. If a woman didn’t enjoy the sex, then he didn’t want it. And despite her actions, Téa didn’t want sex from him. She wanted something more. He slowly released his grip. “I’m sorry Téa. I didn’t mean that.”
She jerked as if she was struck. Her face turned colder than he thought possible. Her eyes became anguished and for the first time he saw the true torment of what she’d gone through.
Rubbing her arms, she lifted her chin and looked straight into his eyes. “I wish for you to leave.”
He’d made a mistake and gone in a direction he shouldn’t have. That’s what this woman did to him. He never overstepped the boundaries, yet with her he had. He’d been a fool driven by a baser need when all he really wanted was to free his sister—give her the life she deserved. He couldn’t leave without Téa Bello’s agreement. “Will you give a statement as to what really happened in that hotel room?”
“Is that all you want?”
He knew it meant more than just a signed statement of the facts from five years ago to her. Her identity would be known. Her location no longer a secret. Her life no longer peaceful.
“Yes.”
“Yet it is not all that I would be giving.”
“No, it’s not.”
“So it seems you are very much like the men I escaped.”
He was guilty as charged. She was a means to the end. There would be no sexual transaction between them, but there was also no cost to him. She was the one who would pay for every word she gave. He was at the receiving end. Obtaining peace, returning to an easier life, and giving his sister a life outside of her compound—free to live and love a man no different than himself.
“There are many things I’m guilty of, many times I’ve said things I didn’t mean. There’s a reason I should walk softly and carry a big stick. Around you however, I seem to always say the opposite of what I want to do. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“You didn’t mean to imply I was a whore at your beck and call?”
“You’re not a whore.” The growl in his voice was real, the sadness in her reply irrefutable.
“I think you need to look up the definition. It fits me rather well. Prostitute. Sex worker. Lady of the night. Working girl. Hooker. Slut. Whore.”
“Stop it.”
“Oh, but I’m just getting started. There are so many things you can call me. What men call me.”
“You were a child. A victim trying to stay alive. You’re a survivor.”
“A sex slave. Or perhaps part of a harem. Isn’t that romantic?” Her voice had turned to acid. Burning away any feelings she may’ve had. He saw the change in her. The hardening of every fiber of her being. Emotions flushed from her body as if they were sewage to be disposed of, leaving nothing but the clear pristine image of hatred behind.
He’d ruined any chance he had with her and with that loss came understanding of how much he’d wanted her. For months, he’d dreamt of this woman. Yes, he’d had sexual fantasies about her, but he’d also dreamt of walks in the mountains, skiing, and visiting her grandmother. With his angry, callous words he’d thrown all that away.
Keeping his voice deliberately steady without the venom he’d felt earlier, he spoke of the truth she needed to hear, so that maybe she would trust him enough to help him give his sister the life she deserved. “There’s nothing sexy about that world. I’ve never treated a woman as a commodity to be traded or used and thrown away.”
“I think your agent would answer differently. You are after all, her boss.” She looked at him expectantly.
He had nothing to say to that. Megan had wanted more, but not from him. There was someone in her past she couldn’t forget. He was the man she wanted, and they both knew it, but how could he make Téa understand that? How could he explain without breaking the trust Megan had in him?
He couldn’t. With one careless, hurtful, hideous sentence he’d exposed too much of his friend’s pain, and by refusing to give up more to Téa now, he was succinctly driving a big ass wedge between them. She believed he’d callously disposed of Megan—one of his employees. He and Megan knew differently. It was one night neither regretted, but neither wanted to repeat either. He couldn’t allow himself to come out unscathed while others were feeling the cut as deep as the blade of a knife buried in their heart.
The silence stretched between them. She dissected; he waited, until he could wait no longer.
“Will you come back to the States and give a statement?”
“Why can’t it be done here?”
“There are people who will want to question you further.”
“There is such a thing as video conferencing.”
“They will want to do it in person.”
“To jail me, you mean. Put me behind bars for a crime I didn’t commit.”
That stumped him. “Why would I put you behind bars?”
She laughed as if he was a naive little boy who didn’t understand the ways of adults. “You forget that I have seen one man falsely accused of engaging in prostitution and manslaughter. I do not wish to take his place on the scales of justice in America.”
“You talk as if you aren’t from the U.S.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re an American citizen.”
“To some, I’m merely a whore from Mexico who enticed lonely agents serving their country into a life of debauchery and sin.”
“I don’t believe that and neither does Ty.”
“And the other men who still serve in your agency?”
“They were both released. Last I heard one was a security guard at a warehouse the other is working on computers out of his home.”
“What will I get out of helping your friend, Agent Artino?”
“You will be able to come home and see you grandmother.”
Pain sliced through her facade of strength. He’d touched a nerve. In any other situation, he would have pounced on it and forced the wound to fester. With her, he backed off and allowed her walls to seal before he continued. “I’ve spoken to her several times. She wants you back.”
“I’m not the same teenage girl she knew.”
“No, but she’s not the same grandmother you knew. She’s older. She’s experienced the loss of her daughter, the loss of her granddaughter whom she loved more than ever, and the loss of a son-in-law. She doesn’t laugh the way she used to. She—”
Téa interrupted him. “How would you know how much she used to laugh? The only time you became acquainted with her was when you started digging into my background.”
“She’s shown me countless old movies. She watches them every day.”
Téa turned away from him before her walls crumbled. “She’s better off without dealing with the trouble I bring.”
“Why do you think you will bring her trouble when all she wants is you?”
“Because I can bring down a giant.”
Her confession was unexpected. She’d revealed a bit of her fears without seeming to even think about it and he wasn’t about to interrupt.
“The men who took me have a vested interest in finding me. They will kill her if I go back.”
“So if you stay away, she’s guaranteed life.”
“Yes.”
“The way she’s living, is not living. She would give anything to have you back.”
“I can’t protect her.”
“I can.”
Her shoulders slumped and she shook her head before turning around and to face him. “No one can protect her if I come back, and I’m not going to do that. She is better off believing I’m lost to the world.”
This was it. The moment he really nailed closed the door he’d wanted her to step through. Once he confessed his guilt, his betrayal that would lead to his succ
ess, there would be no chance to win this woman. Téa would see him as one of those men. Cold. Calculating. Ambitious. With nothing but ice running through his veins.
It was probably true.
“She’s seen you.”
The sadness that had embraced her like a mother’s warmth fell from her face. It was replaced with something much worse: shock and horror. He wanted to take it back, but he couldn’t. His true self was revealed to the one woman he’d thought he could give more.
“What have you done? Is she here? In Rome?” Her voice held none of the strength he knew she possessed. Instead, she was that little frightened girl who’d lost her father and then her mother.
Instinct caused him to move forward to comfort her, but she stepped back, the fear in her face growing by the moment. He held his hands out to calm her. She saw his actions as those of a man trying to tame a caged animal. “She is safe in Colorado.”
Confusion marred her beautiful face as she tried to comprehend what he was saying. “What’s my nonna doing in Colorado?”
“I took her there to keep her safe. She’s being guarded by a man who has just as much at stake as you do.”
Her laugh was mirthless. “You come here, disrupt my life, give away my identity, put my nonna at risk and you think someone else has as much to lose as I do?”
“Yes. Ty Beckinsale has everything to lose without your testimony. There has been a recent push to seek justice for victims of sex trafficking.”
“And he’s been a victim? I hardly think so.”
Her disbelief was evident and part of him could understand why a woman who’d been through so much, couldn’t see Ty Beckinsale as a victim. He was strong. Hard. A man who could clear a room of any threat without blinking an eye. He’d been the best-damned agent Khaos had ever known—until one night, he wasn’t.
“Ty lost everything. The night you escaped hell, his life as he knew it ended, and his hell began.”
Chapter Nine
Téa thought back to the sick agent in the bedroom where she’d hid the night before her escape. He hadn’t given her away. In fact, he’d stumbled out of the bed, taken one look at her, pulled her into bathroom and locked the door. At first, she’d thought he was drunk and meant to use her as he fell back against the door and gazed at her through one barely open eye.
