by Odette Stone
“I want to play for the Wolves. That’s my first choice.”
He ignored me. “We’ve appointed you a neutral sports agent who will take you through the next steps.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere. I like it here.”
He avoided my gaze. “Your contract with the Wolves has been dissolved. In light of what has transpired, we really feel you’d benefit from a little space from this team and Ms. Taylor.”
I stared at him as emotions washed over me. There was mostly anger, but underneath all of that was fear and resignation. “Do I have any choice in this matter?”
“For the remainder of this year, you can play for any team in this league except the Vancouver Wolves. And you can hire any agent except Scott Spears and Krista Taylor.”
“For how long?”
“For how long what?”
“When can I come back here and play?”
He stood up. “The earliest you’d be able to come back here is next fall. The league wants you to understand that you have choices.”
“I understand that, and I’ve made my choice. I want to play here.”
“That’s the only choice you don’t have.”
I felt like hitting him, so I started to move towards the door.
“One more thing, Mr. Ziegler,” he remained seated at the table.
I stopped, not looking back at him. “What?”
“We strongly advise that you don’t speak to either your agent or the owner of the Wolves. At least until this matter has been decided.”
“Seems like you’ve already made your decision.”
“For you, yes. Circumstances are still pending for the other two parties.”
I gave him a dirty look before I moved out the door.
Immediately after that meeting, I headed over to Krista’s office. I found her sitting at her desk.
Her eyes flashed with emotion when she caught sight of me standing in the doorway. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
She wasn’t the only one feeling emotional today. Right now, I was vacillating between frustration and rage. “Want to tell me why you weren’t at my meeting with Harrod Buchnard?”
Her eyes widened. “You met with the actual president of the IRC?”
“Did you know about my meeting?”
“I knew they would contact you. I’m not supposed to be discussing this with you.”
I ignored her protests. “They are talking all sorts of crazy about how I need a new agent and how I can’t play for the Wolves.”
She stood up and crossed her arms. “Yeah. I know.”
“The league has no business telling me what I can and can’t do.”
Her voice rose a notch. “That’s where you’re wrong. They oversee the league on all the sticky matters, and they have a lot of power. You don’t mess with them.”
Frustration rolled over me. “Am I supposed to let everyone make choices for me about my future?”
She swallowed. “It’s not normally like this, but when things go this public, they are forced to crackdown.”
“They are telling me I have to leave this team, Krista,” I shot back. “Can they even do that?”
She paused. “They can. If you want to play hockey, they get to call the shots.”
“I want to stay here. I don’t want to leave.” I don’t want to leave you. I searched her face for any sign that this news upset her, but she dropped her eyes to her desk.
“Levi, you need to stick with your dreams. You’re so close.”
“What about you?” I forced myself to ask the question. “What about us?”
She avoided my gaze. “I should never factor into your decisions.”
Anger washed over me. I was pissed that they were asking me to leave, but I was more pissed that she didn’t seem to care. “They said I could play for the Wolves next fall. Why don’t I just sit out the rest of the season here and wait it out?”
I wasn’t just asking about hockey. That question was all about her and me and our future together. A future I didn’t even realize I wanted until now. My heart pounded in my chest while she stood completely silent for a long moment.
Her voice was subdued. “We don’t even know if Mark will still want you, especially after this. And legally, I’m not supposed to talk to you about hockey. I’m not supposed to talk to you at all.”
“They can’t tell a married couple not to speak.”
“We’re not really married.”
“I have a marriage certificate that says otherwise.”
She ignored that. “They can tell you to stay away from me if they believe you were unfairly influenced by me. You need to do what they say. If you want a hockey career, you need to play by the rules. This is the one time you really need to get in line, okay?”
Her words felt like a sucker punch. “So what? You want me to leave Vancouver?”
She couldn’t look me in the eyes. “Yes. I think that’s for the best.”
I tried to think of something to say, but words failed me. I couldn’t believe she was kicking me to the curb, but at the same time, it was a familiar feeling. My entire life I had been shuffled from place to place to suit the people around me. Why would now be any different? I gave her one last, long look and then, without speaking, I walked out.
I found Mica in his backyard. He took one look at my face and brought me over to the woodpile. I chopped enough wood to last them a month before I finally ground the ax deep into a stump and found Mica sitting around a brightly burning campfire.
“It’s nice when the rain lets up,” he told me.
I sank down on a chair beside him.
“You feel better?” He handed me a beer.
“Nope.” I leaned forward and looked at him. “They told me I can’t play for the Wolves.”
“Heard that.”
“And I’m being appointed a new agent.”
“Charlie told me that too.”
“No one gives a shit about what I want.”
He looked back at me. “What do you want?”
“I don’t want to leave her.”
“And?”
“She told me to leave.”
He raised his beer to his lips. “You both made some interesting choices together, and these are the consequences.”
I felt my stomach tighten so hard it ached. “And we’re supposed to live with them?”
He leaned forward. “Krista’s fighting to save her career. She can’t do that with you in the picture.”
I felt my jaw tighten at this unexpected news. I knew the last few days had been rough, but I didn’t know her career was in jeopardy. I felt the urge to get up and find Harrod. “How bad is it?”
“It’s bad.”
I leaned forward. “I want to do something.”
“You can. You can go and thrive elsewhere. That will make her case stronger.”
“So that’s it?”
“For now, that’s all you got. Best you can do is make sure you have a hockey career when this is over.”
I knew he was telling me the truth, and I knew I would leave for her sake. I looked around his backyard as defeat washed over me. For a moment I debated packing it all in and heading back to Mexico. I didn’t want to start over again with a new team, a new city and new friends, but if it helped her in any way, I would play hockey elsewhere. “I shouldn’t have bought my truck. I jinxed it.”
“You having it shipped?”
“I guess.” I didn’t want to think of the logistics of moving. This was exactly why I never bothered to put down too many roots.
He slapped my leg. “If it’s meant to be, you’ll be back. But if you want to help her, you need to take care of your own shit. It won’t look good if you give up hockey for her.”
I knew he spoke the truth, and I couldn’t see any option other than to leave. “This sucks. You don’t have any other ideas?”
He reached into his cooler and cracked open another beer. “Yeah. Let’s get drunk.”
Five days later,
I stood in the doorway of Mark Ashford’s office. He sat at his desk and shuffled papers without looking at me. “You know we’re not supposed to talk.”
“You said at our first dinner that one day I might want to share with you because I trust you.”
He tossed his glasses on his desk and stood up. “Shut the door. Do you want a drink?”
“No, sir.”
We moved to the couches. He sat down on the couch across from me. “I heard you got a temporary offer in Buffalo until the end of the season.”
“I had nine long-term contract offers from different teams.”
He leaned forward. “And you picked a short-term contract with Buffalo?”
“I haven’t signed with them yet.”
“What’s the reason for your indecision?”
This was the reason I wanted to talk to Mark—to see if he could help—but it still was a struggle to share. “The woman I love is in trouble.”
He leaned back and digested that statement. “That problem is something Krista needs to figure out on her own.”
I shook my head. “I disagree. I think she’s been dealing with stuff on her own for most of her life.”
“No relationship benefits when it starts from a place of sacrifice.”
“I love her.”
His sad smile confirmed what I already knew. No one could help us.
“She’s my home,” I protested. “I want to be where she is. I want to play for the Wolves.”
“You know I can’t speak to you about your future. Nor can I make any promises or offers for next year.”
“No, but I’m allowed to tell you what I want. And I want you to save me a seat on that bench. I want to come back.”
He stared at me. “I heard you, and that’s all I can say.”
If he still wanted me as a player, he was hiding that fact. A feeling of foreboding washed over me. Why hadn’t I deleted that video? Why had I stupidly saved it? Now, because of my actions, my entire world had been decimated and I had taken down Krista’s career with me.
We stood. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner with the truth.”
Regret passed over his face. “When do you leave?”
“They want me to fly out to Buffalo tomorrow.”
He nodded slowly and then offered me his hand. “Good luck.”
I spent the day packing my stuff, leaving the apartment exactly as it had been when I got it. I stopped by Krista’s apartment and knocked on the door, but there was no answer.
I had already texted and emailed her my itinerary, but she hadn’t responded.
I took a cab to the airport and stood outside security until I risked missing my flight.
I called her one last time and got her voice mail.
I left her a message. “Hey, this is Levi. I’m just about to head through security. I was hoping we could say goodbye. I want you to know that I’m really sorry.” I paused as my eyes scanned the corridor one last time. To one side, a couple was tearfully saying goodbye. “Krista, I don’t want to go.”
I want to stay with you, damn it. I couldn’t say those words out loud, but I wished I could. She deserved that much. I paused and felt depressed as I watched the couple hug.
“Give me a call, okay? I’m worried about you. Please let me know you’re okay.”
“Levi.”
I heard her voice.
I spun around and saw Krista rush towards me. I opened my arms, and she flew into them. Something inside of me melted when I wrapped my arms around her and inhaled her scent.
“You came.”
“I wanted to say goodbye.” Her voice was muffled.
I hugged her long and hard, not wanting to let go. “I’m so sorry.”
She made a little noise and then pulled back to look up at my face. “I’m sorry too.”
Words escaped me. “I’m worried about you.”
She gave me a small smile. “Buffalo’s a good team.”
“I don’t care about that.” I care about you.
She lifted her hand and placed it on my cheek. “Go show the world how amazing you are.”
“What about you?” I turned my face and kissed the inside of her palm.
Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’m going to be fine. You need to go. Before you miss your flight.”
I crushed her into another hug. “This isn’t over between us. Not by a long shot.”
She slowly pulled from my arms. “Goodbye, Levi.”
There was so much I wanted to say to her, but the words were stuck in my throat. “Krista.”
She gave me a gentle shove. “Go. You know this is what has to happen.”
“I’ll call you.”
She took another step back. “Give it some time, okay?”
“How much time?”
The sad expression on her face was my answer. And then she was pulling her hand from mine. I stood, watching her, until she disappeared from sight.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Krista
I sat in my car at the airport and waited until I knew his plane had taken off before I let myself cry. Then I held on to my steering wheel, and I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.
I wiped my wet cheeks, and I drove back to my office.
I flicked on the lights and walked through the empty, silent space. As soon as the news of my scandal had hit, my phone started ringing off the hook. My own clients were apologetic, but they had started the process of moving to other agents. Only my most loyal clients, like Mica and Ryan, wanted to remain with me.
The five agents who worked at my agency faced similar pressure. If they stayed with me, they risked losing their clients. I had encouraged them to save their careers and spent a fair amount of time calling in old favors to connect them with other agencies.
Without any agents beneath me, it was no longer feasible to pay rent on my office space, so I was in the process of breaking my lease, cleaning up the space, and making arrangements for most of the furniture to be sold at auction. With only four clients left, I could easily run my business from my apartment.
A door slammed behind me.
Charlie looked around before she walked over and hugged me. “It’s weird in here.”
I took a big breath. “Yeah, it is.”
She pulled back. “Can I help?”
I looked around and shrugged. “I don’t really know where to start.”
I felt my face scrunch up, and then I was crying again.
She wrapped her arms around me. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
“He left this morning, didn’t he?”
I pulled back and quickly wiped my face. “It’s the best decision for him.”
“Mica told him that staying here would only hurt you more. He basically made him leave.”
My eyes searched Charlie’s face. “Really?” For some reason that soothed me.
“Levi wanted to stay here because of you.”
That also made me feel better. I sniffed and gave a half-laugh. “I knew he’d be trouble.”
She looked around. “That’s an understatement.”
“You know, there were so many times when I almost told you about me and Levi. I wished I had. It was a really hard secret to keep.”
Her sympathetic gaze met mine. “I get it. That was, like, a black-ops kind of secret. You knew what would happen if it got out.”
“Well, the secret got out, and the damage was even worse than I anticipated.”
I was at ground zero. My business had been decimated, and now I need to decide how I wanted to proceed. “You know, people keep telling me that in this business, once the smoke clears, it’s easy to rebuild, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I don’t think I want another big agency.”
She looked at me in surprise. “Really?”
I gave her a sad smile. “I’m tired. I worked around the clock for years to build this up, and for what?”
“This is just a setback,” she said reassuringly.
I spent the next week avoiding calls from my mom, Brian and Levi. I also avoided my own feelings by throwing myself into clean-up mode. I was in my office, shredding some items, when I heard the front door slam.
“We’re closed,” I yelled.
My sister appeared in the doorway, her hand resting on her swollen belly. She looked around the empty office and then at me. “Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know Eduard sent you flowers, and I know he’s having an affair with you.” She looked around the room. “And now you’re getting your just deserts.”
I rushed to her side. “Helene, I’m not having an affair with Eduard.”
She looked up at me with pain in her eyes. “I forced the shop owner to tell me where the flowers were delivered. They came here. You can’t deny it. My child isn’t going to have a father because of you.”
My mind raced as I tried to think of ways to calm her down. This tiresome conflict was the last thing I needed right now. “Take it easy, Helene. Come and sit down.”
“Don’t touch me.” She swatted my hand away. Then she bent over suddenly, clutching her belly again—but this time with a groan. “Something’s wrong.”
I bent over her. “What? What’s happening?”
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. “You need to get me to the hospital.”
My mom rushed down the long, sterile hospital hallway towards me, with both fear and rage on her face. I knew there would be hell to pay.
“What happened?” she asked breathlessly. “Where is she? Is the baby okay?”
“Baby is fine. Helene is fine too. She had some pains, but no one is in distress. They want to keep her here to monitor her for a few days.”
The fear in my mom’s eyes faded. All that was left was her anger. “What happened?”
I paused as I wondered how to explain this. “Helene got upset.”
“Let me guess: you upset her.”
I lifted up my hands. “She misunderstood the situation.”
