by Dane Bagley
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Sarah was not the type to have a sleepless night. But, on this night sleep could not be found. Perhaps a nocturnal dream is not so requisite when one is living and then re-living a beautiful dream while fully awake—more than awake, alive—more alive than she had ever been. The synaptic furry going on in her head caused such a pleasant confusion. Feelings came before thoughts; thoughts then searched for memories to match up with the feelings. Neither thoughts nor feelings could completely corroborate, which only allowed for another opportunity to remember, to image, to create, to re-live the excitement, the wonder, the infatuation, and most especially the peace that Sarah felt in Johns arms.
As the illumination from the waxing rays of the sun entered her room and the early morning sounds broke the silence, Sarah realized that she had not slept for a moment. Half of her longed to arise and continue to live still in her dream state. Half of her longed to slumber the day away. Perhaps her subconscious could put the pieces together better than her conscious self could. Changing her thought process to this deliberation allowed her body’s need for sleep just the foothold it needed, and moments later she was out.
“Dear, she had a late night. Let her sleep. I can manage without her help this morning.”
“This is not like our little Sarah to sleep in so late. Is she not well?” Mr. Peningham had not slept well either. He did not appreciate the changes he saw in his daughter since her return the previous night.
Mrs. Peningham gently felt Sarah’s forehead. Sarah did not budge. “It’s cool. I think she’s fine. Let her be, she’ll be with us soon enough.”
At 11:00 AM Sarah awoke with her heart pounding. She felt over-indulged in every way—sluggish, groggy, upset stomach, slight headache, and stiff. She aroused to a sitting position, brought her legs up—still under the covers, and wrapped her arms around them. She turned her head and rested it on her knees for a few moments before trying to hold it up. Once John Bennett re-entered her consciousness every ounce of discomfort fled. I wonder what he is doing now? In fact, he was sitting under an apple tree having a mild argument with his friend Kevin who was strumming a guitar. But Sarah would have never thought of that.
Fatigue soon overtook her and she allowed herself to fall back abruptly on her pillow with her arms outstretched and she smiled brightly. Mrs. Peningham was walking down the hall near the bedroom door and peaked in.
“I see you’re awake.”
Sarah looked over startled and blushed deeply.
“Are you feeling well?”
“Yes…no, well yes. I…I just didn’t sleep.”
“You’ve been sleeping all morning, honey.”
“No…well, yes, but not last night. I fell asleep as the light came up. I was…I…it was such a nice night last night, at the dance…I couldn’t sleep.”
Mrs. Peningham smiled. “You’d better be up now. You still have chores…if you’re able.”
Sarah nodded.
After dressing and eating what she could tolerate she took to watering some autumn flowers—the only chore left undone by her mother. It was a lovely day and Sarah’s physical strength had returned, if not her mental strength. I shall go for a walk. Which she did.
Some distance from her home was a place—a special place, where she liked to think. Though it was not consciously planned, this is the destination that her feet took her. The half hour walk passed as had the previous night, with no appreciation of time. It seemed as though she had just set off and then she was there. Breathtaking, she thought upon arrival. Her senses were super-heightened and the beauty was dazzling. A gentle waterfall fell seemingly through the wall of the towering mountain. The pool—this magical, mystical pool, of which so much folklore centered, was Sarah’s special place; where she turned for contemplation, for reflection, and for solace. She approached the crystal-clear water’s edge and dived in, clothes, shoes, and all. The crispness bit in pleasantly and she swam gracefully underwater until she reached the mountains edge. She climbed the edge, ten feet or so up, and then pulled herself up on the ledge immediately behind the waterfall. She sat sideways with her feet towards the edge she had just climbed. She removed her soaking shoes and began to play with her feet as she looked through the broken part of the waterfall in front of her. She could see clearly the pool in front of her through this section. Unlike a month ago, the air was much cooler and Sarah, still soaking in her clothes, shivered lightly at a chill. She pulled her hands up to her hair and began to squeeze the water out.
Neither her sleepless night nor her slumbering morning had brought her any peace. Here, then, she was at peace. The sight, the sound, the mist of the waterfall just inches in front of her, had the power to soothe and calm her completely. Pleasant thoughtlessness engulfed her soul. The monotonous stimulation of the fall brought her into a near hypnotic state. She sat motionless, barely blinking, as she looked out though the falls. And in this state she stayed for a good hour. It was the discomfort that she felt in her backside from sitting still on the rocky edge that caused her to shift and consequently aroused her.
In her shifted position she felt some relief and then John entered her mind. Excitement began in her chest and then spread throughout her being. This time it did not overpower her. She enjoyed every bit of it and allowed it to run its course. She felt it and understood it both deeply and on the surface—she was John Bennett’s and he was hers. Warmth, peace, and excitement interplayed harmoniously within Sarah Peningham. Everything was as it should be, until two realizations hit her. First, no degree of shifting would relieve her bottom’s discomfort; it was time to go. As she slid to the edge and began to climb down the second realization hit her. She would not be sixteen for six more weeks—she would not see John again until she was of age.
Six weeks, I can’t make it. Turbulence began to dissipate her tranquility. Here was a girl who had never asked, never expected, never hoped for anything beyond her simple station in life. She was peripherally aware that others had more than her, but she was also aware of all of the sorrows that others had which she did not. Hers was not a bad life, but neither was it an exciting life. Until last night she was okay with this. Suddenly, at this moment, she wanted something, hoped for something, expected something, and all she could do was wait. She was both the master of patience and longsuffering, and completely unprepared to deal with this desire that filled her heart.
Most of our daily actions and events have no significant effect upon the world. We arise, we shower, we eat meals, we brush our teeth, we say, “Hello, how are you?” to passers-by, and this is all as it should be. The world goes on; these actions are expected and anticipated. Perhaps the absence of these actions may cause a mild ripple, but they are unlikely to change any course. Sarah had lived a life full of actions and events that never caused any change in the course of the world. She was the proverbial tree that had fallen in the forest and no one was there to hear it. She did not feel that she had made a sound. She was a part of this world but this world was no different because she was here.
She had come to the place where she accepted that the previous night’s events had changed the course of her world. If pressed, she may even have admitted that the course of John Bennett’s life was then changed, though this would be more difficult for her to comprehend. But, in no way did she—could she—see, believe, or comprehend that her actions, her dancing the night away with John Bennett, had changed everything for everyone in her social structure. It was no subtle adjustment either, it was a seismic shift! No one saw the world this morning as they had seen it the day before. Something had happened that did not fit anyone’s worldview. Whether consciously or not, everyone was at some stage in a paradigm shift this morning to enable them to continue to deal with the world as it had become.
Everyone, that is, except for John Bennett. His world had changed, and in a huge way, but not the course of his world. The night before fit perfectly in his worldview. He would one day meet the girl of his dreams—finally it had happe
ned. This would not require any paradigm shift for him, it was rather a next stage—an exciting and highly anticipated next stage at that. Even though at this moment he was on his way with Kevin to meet Janice and to get a date with her, his mind was on Sarah.
As Sarah meandered back home, soaking wet again, she ran into Maryanne, the perky red-head that she had been passed by on for a dance with Jimmy Smithy the night before. Maryanne was a friend—as casual friends go. They sometimes interacted, but never unnecessarily. Most of the time Maryanne seemed to just look through Sarah. This never bothered Sarah particularly, as she was very used to this treatment. It seemed proper to her for others to hardly notice her. For Sarah’s part, she admired Maryanne. Maryanne was fun, full of life, and fun to watch from a distance. She was a magnet of sorts. Her looks were above average to be certain, but this was not her prime attraction. It was her personality that brought people to her.
“Sarah!”
Maryanne’s countenance became brighter and she began to run towards Sarah. Maryanne was made up beautifully in a pretty blue dress, almost as nicely as she was at the dance. Still, she was in flats so that she could run.
Sarah stopped in her course. Something must be wrong for Maryanne to be acting this way towards her. Her heart began to beat rapidly.
“I’ve been looking for you. You’re all wet? Why is your dress all wet?”
“I…um…I was just swimming.”
“Swimming? Who with?”
Sarah blushed in shame. “No one.”
“Swimming all by yourself with your clothes on? That sounds cool. I’ve never done that before. Anyway, we’re having a little get-together at my place. I want you to come. Let’s get you ready so we can get back before the girls arrive. I didn’t figure that I would have to go looking for you.” Maryanne smiled sweetly and stared Sarah in the eyes.
“A party…”
Sarah had no idea what to think. It was weird being visible. She couldn’t comprehend why she was visible and she felt much like when John first asked her to dance—awkward, embarrassed, and highly suspicious.
“Yes, you’ve got to come. Please.” And Maryanne hopped up and down in anticipation.
“Okay. I’ll ask and…”
“I’ve already asked your mom. She said it was fine, I just had to find you.”
“Oh…really?”
“Yeah, come on. We’ve got to go. You’re a mess and we have to hurry.”
Maryanne grabbed Sarah’s hand and the two girls ran off together, Sarah’s feet sloshing with each step.
Chapter 7
