by Jamie Knight
Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind.
Chapter Twenty - Pearl
Christmas morning had always been my favorite morning of the year.
Sure, I was twenty-seven years old, but Christmas morning always made me feel like a kid again.
The smell of bacon drifted upstairs and the sound of my mom clattering around the kitchen brought a smile to my face. Waking up at home was a tradition I vowed I would always keep. No matter what, I would spend Christmas with her. One day, when I had a family, I would make sure my husband understood we had to spend the holidays at my mom’s house in Brooklyn.
Perhaps that husband would be James.
I hadn’t spoken to him since I left the office yesterday. Knowing him, after the fundraiser, he went back to work and was probably asleep at his desk.
I had invited him to spend today at my mom’s, but he’d declined. I think the reason he said no was because there would be way too many people around. After Christmas dinner, all of our neighbors and extended family stopped by with desserts, and the party would go on until the wee hours. It wasn’t for the faint-hearted.
Yesterday, when he said he was going to the fundraiser and didn’t need me to go, I felt sad and rejected, but I was being ridiculous and insecure. In a way, his not wanting me to go with him was a relief. A week of partying had left me pooped. Eight hours of sleep in my childhood bed was exactly what the doctor had ordered.
I stretched my arms above my head and checked my phone, but there was nothing from James. I had expected a good morning text wishing me a Merry Christmas.
I rolled out of bed, and, feeling giddy, I ran downstairs. Like always, a stocking with my name on it sat on the bottom step. My mom came out of the kitchen, holding a spatula, and placed a kiss on my cheek.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
“Merry Christmas, mom.” I pulled out all the gifts in my stocking. They were the usual socks and underwear. Even though I never wore any boy shorts, my mom still bought them for me. She would never, in her wildest dreams, think about buying me a thong. In her eyes, I was still twelve years old and believed in Santa Claus.
“Let’s have some breakfast before we open the presents,” she said. Like every other Christmas, she’d made bacon, sausages, eggs, and a cinnamon roll casserole. And like Buddy the Elf, I covered my casserole in syrup. After we’d eaten our fill and cleared up, we moved to the tree. An abundance of wrapped gifts sat beneath the twenty-year-old branches.
“Where did all these come from?” I asked. “We agreed on a gift minimum.”
“A courier dropped them off this morning while you were still snoring your head off. They’re numbered one to twelve. Like the twelve days of Christmas.” She nudged me with her shoulder. “Just your boss, huh?”
“Maybe he’s a teeny bit more,” I admitted. “It’s not serious.”
“These gifts say something different.”
If I told her James and I had agreed to part ways in the New Year, she would ask too many questions. I hadn’t been expecting anything from him, but I was secretly ecstatic.
I opened up my mom’s gift first. It was a scrapbook filled with pictures of all of my Christmases throughout the years. The pages held many beautiful memories, and I took my time studying each page and reminiscing. I hugged an arm around her and held her tight. “This is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. It means the world. I’ll treasure it forever.”
Now it was her turn to open the gift I’d gotten her. She squealed. It was a signed copy of Nora Roberts’s latest release along with a year’s subscription to audible.
“Sorry it’s not as thoughtful as the gift you gave me, but since you love Nora so much...”
“Are you kidding? This is perfect. I can listen to her books while I walk and clean.” She set her book to one side. “Start opening up your other gifts. I want to see what your boss got you.”
We arranged the gifts in order, and I unwrapped the first one. I wasn’t sure if I should open them with my mother sitting by my side, but I crossed my fingers and hoped they weren’t personal or kinky.
The first gift was an intricately carved box with a key inside. An attached note said… unlock nothing until you’ve unwrapped every gift. James had obviously gone to a ton of trouble.
Once I’d unwrapped all the boxes, I sat them side by side. “These boxes are beautiful, Pearl. They must have cost a small fortune. What’s in them?”
“I don’t know.” I blew out a long, excited breath. “Let’s find out.” I unlocked box one and lifted the lid. A photo sat on top of red velvet. My stomach roiled as I picked it up. The image was a picture of James and Lyla kissing. The date stamp was from last night.
“That’s not you, is it?” My mom took the picture from my hand and lifted it to her face. “What’s this about, Pearl? Is this some kind of joke?”
My heart fell to my toes, and my hand shook as I opened box number two, knowing exactly what I would find.
It was another picture of him kissing Lyla but from a different angle. I opened up box three—the same thing. Unable to stop myself, I opened every single box. Each held a picture of James and Lyla kissing.
“Baby girl… Who would do such a thing?”
I clenched the key so tight I almost drew blood. Pain stabbed my heart and my vision blurred.
My stomach heaved. I pressed a hand over my mouth, and ran to the bathroom, fell to the floor in front of the toilet, and threw up everything in my stomach.
I retched until there was nothing left, then sank onto the tiles and hugged my knees to my chest. This was supposed to be nothing serious, but my heart broke as if I’d lost the love of my life.
And maybe I had.
Chapter Twenty-One - James
I sat in my home office and looked out at the silent city. Everyone was at home celebrating with their families and loved ones. My sister Sylvie had checked into a facility for depression in Arizona, and my parents were on a cruise—separately. And once again, I was knee-deep in work. Daniel had gone to the media and had posted a picture of him and Sophia on his Instagram account announcing their pregnancy. My phone hadn’t stopped all day. I’d had to prepare a statement for Michelle, and I was now working with her PR team.
I hadn’t had a chance to catch my breath or think about the question I would ask Pearl tomorrow. I glanced at the gifts I’d gotten her. We hadn’t planned on getting together today, but I was desperate and needed to see her.
I had texted and called, but she hadn’t replied or picked up her phone. She was most likely too busy with her family. She had invited me to spend Christmas with her, and her mom and whoever else showed up, but it sounded like hard work being around so much festive cheer.
I would be happy when the holiday season was over and when the bright lights and baubles were packed away for another twelve months.
I opened up the box containing the gift I’d had designed for Pearl. The diamond-encrusted collar would look divine around her neck.
The next time I saw her, I would present it to her. She needed to know our relationship meant more than I ever imagined. I didn’t want the New Year to be the end of things. I wanted the New Year to be the beginning of forever. Who would’ve thought that someone as jaded about love as I was had fallen hook, line, and sinker?
A smaller box sat beside the box containing the collar. The engagement ring would announce to the world she was mine. The collar was something we would use in private.
Grant and the Davies brothers might not look favorably on me marrying an associate, but I didn’t care. If they didn’t like it, tough. There wasn’t a better divorce attorney in the country than me. If they wanted to keep me happy, they would stay quiet, or they could buy me out. Something they wouldn’t do.
I drummed my fingers against the desktop. Screw it. I needed to see her. Since Pearl had invited me over, perhaps she would be happy to see me when I showed up on her doorstep unannounced.<
br />
I pushed away from my desk and grabbed the ugly sweater I’d picked up yesterday on the way home. When in Rome…
I grabbed her gifts and left my apartment. A Christmas day proposal was cliché and cheesy, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself when I saw her.
I hit my knuckles against the door and waited. The street had even more decorations and lights than before.
The door flung open, and Pearl’s mom stood there. She didn’t seem happy to see me. In fact, she appeared livid. Almost like she wanted me to drop dead.
“Merry Christmas, Sandra. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by like this.”
“I do mind.” Her reply surprised me, and I stepped backward.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t act dumb. Get lost. Do not darken my doorstep ever again.” She slammed the door shut. For a few seconds, I stood there, shocked to my toes. What the actual fuck?
I knocked again. She opened the door a crack. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you or have done something wrong. Can I talk to Pearl?”
“No, you can’t.” She stepped outside, closed the door behind her, and jabbed a finger against my chest. “Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can treat my daughter the way you have? You think you can waltz over here and act like nothing happened. The gift you gave her was thoughtless and cruel. She told me you’re one of those Dom men. And that there are punishment and rewards. I take it the gifts you sent her were a punishment. I’ve watched Fifty Shades of Grey. Christian was an asshole, but he wasn’t sadistic, and he would never have done anything like that to Anastasia. You’re sick. I hope you rot in hell.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mrs. Holmes. I’m at a loss. I’ve no clue what you’re accusing me of or what you’re talking about.”
That was when she exploded. “Don’t. I might be 55 and 120 pounds, but I can still kick your ass.”
“Can I please talk to Pearl? There has to be some kind of explanation for whatever I supposedly did.”
“My daughter isn’t here. Not only did you ruin her Christmas, but you ruined mine. Today is the one day that’s always been ours. Today is supposed to be the happiest day of the year for us. It’s the day I finally got rid of her father. It’s the day she and I finally became a family. Understand this, I will kill for my daughter. Go away. I have a house full of people to entertain.” She waggled her finger in my face. “I have friends who can make sure you disappear without a trace. It will be as if you never existed.”
Dejected and confused, I left the doorstep and got into my car. What had just happened? I was stunned, flummoxed, and at a loss for words.
I rang Pearl, but again it went to voicemail. I sent her a desperate text.
Please. We need to talk. You need to tell me what happened. Tell me why your mom wants to kill me.
Radio silence followed.
If she wasn’t at her mom’s, where was she? Since I hadn’t met any of her friends yet, I was unsure who to ask.
I drove to her apartment building. After I’d bribed the doorman to let me inside, I hammered against her front door, but there was no answer. A curly-haired brunette who resembled a fairy peaked her head out of a door across the hall. “Are you trying to wake the dead?”
“I’m trying to find Pearl. Do you know where she is?”
“Her mother’s. It’s where she is every Christmas.”
“She’s not,” my voice cracked. “I was just there.”
“Who are you?” the pixie asked.
“Pearl’s boyfriend, James.”
Her eyebrows almost shot off her head, they raised so fast. “No fucking way? I’m Bella. Pearl is my BFF. We drink together and watch reality shows. I thought you looked familiar. But wearing that ugly sweater, I wasn’t sure.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Do you have any idea where she could be? I have to find her.”
“If she’s not at her mother’s, I don’t know where she is.”
“She hasn’t called or texted you?”
“I’m working nights this week at the hospital. She would know I was sleeping and wouldn’t have done either.”
“I need to find her. I’m desperate.”
“I guess I can check her Snapchat to see if she has her snap map on. I’ll grab my phone. Hold on.” She disappeared, and a few seconds later, she reappeared. Her fingers danced across the screen. “What the what? What’s she doing at the Delaware Water Gap? Why would she be there on Christmas Day?”
Relief washed over me. “She’s on her way to the trailer.” I picked Bella up and spun her around. “Thank you. I owe you big time.”
“You can pay me back in celebrity gossip.”
Chapter Twenty-Two - Pearl
Running away to the trailer hadn’t been the most mature thing I’d ever done, but I couldn’t stand to be around people. Their happiness would only have pissed me off. No one wanted to watch my sad and moping face while they celebrated the season.
Because of another blizzard here during the week, snow had piled up, and I’d had to trudge through several inches to get to the door. For all I cared, it could snow for the next week because I wasn’t in a hurry to leave. I wasn’t in a hurry to see anyone or talk to anyone.
Only my mom knew where I’d been headed. I hadn’t wanted her to worry, but I needed peace and quiet. I needed to be on my own to think things through. I’d asked my mom to call Bella later to tell her not to panic if I didn’t get in contact for a few days and that I would explain when I got back.
My mom said and did everything she could to get me to stay, but I’d made my mind up. During the drive to the trailer, I’d listened to death metal. I might have ripped the radio from the console if I’d heard any Christmas songs or any mention of the word love. The only thing I wanted in my heart was hate. How could I have been so blind? So trusting? I thought we had something special. I thought that perhaps he could be the one. I snorted. Yeah, right. All the stuff he’d fed me was bullshit. And like an idiot, I’d eaten every word up.
I should’ve remained focused on my job and not my libido. I should never have let myself think that I could have a future with him. I should never have allowed myself to believe that maybe we could have something more in the New Year. He never had any intention of taking things any further with us.
For all I knew, this was a game he and Lyla played. Some fucked up kinky crap they got their rocks off to.
Where they at his apartment last night laughing at my stupidity while they wrapped my gifts? The sadistic SOBs deserved one another.
He’d been calling and texting, but I’d ignored him. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Since he’d already fooled me more than once, he wouldn’t get the chance to fool me again.
As humiliated as I was, I wouldn’t resign. I refused to start over somewhere new. When I went back to the office after the holidays, I would hold my head high and get on with things.
Anytime my tears tried to fall, I blinked them back. He didn’t deserve my tears. My heart clenched so hard I gasped, and I sank down on the sofa—the sofa where he’d first kissed me. I hugged my hands around my knees in an attempt to squeeze out my pain.
I’d cranked up the heat when I’d arrived, but I shook like frost coated my veins.
I needed something other than thoughts about James to occupy my mind. My mom’s collection of Tom Cruise DVDs caught my eye, but yuck. Schmaltzy, stomach-churning romance was the last thing I wanted to watch.
I wanted blood and guts and pain. I flicked through the collection of old movies until I came to The Day After Tomorrow. A film about the second ice age and the world as we knew it ending fit the bill perfectly.
Hammering on the door woke me up from where I’d fallen asleep on the sofa. In my groggy sleep state, it took a few seconds to remember where I was and what had happened, and when I did, my stomach clenched in pain.
“Pearl, I know you’re in there. Open the doo
r. We need to talk.”
The hammering continued, shaking the entire trailer. I didn’t want him here. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t care that the temperature outside was subzero. He could get frostbite on his dick for all I cared. It would serve him right.
“If you don’t open the door, I’ll kick it in. I’m freezing my balls off out here.”
Good. I hope they drop off.
My conscience got the better of me, and I opened the door. If he froze to death because I refused to let him in, I could get charged with first-degree murder.
The second I saw his face, the ice encasing my heart started to thaw, but I steeled myself against showing any reaction.
He looked as wretched as I felt.
“Can I come in?”
Since he’d come all this way and since his face was wind chilled and red, I would let him in and hear him out.
I stood back and gestured for him to come in.
When he did, he brought a small avalanche with him. He yanked off his jacket and gloves and stood in front of the fire, rubbing his hands and holding them out to the warmth.
I slammed the door shut but didn’t say a word. I glared at him, waiting for him to talk. In this situation, he wasn’t my master, and I wasn’t his pet. He was a prick, and I was pissed.
“Pearl.” He reached for me, but I jerked away. “You need to tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I’m sure there’s a good explanation.”
“You lied to me about the fundraiser.” There was no hiding my rage. There was no hiding my hurt. “You lied about things being over between you and Lyla.” I briefly closed my eyes, firmed my lips. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t break down. I wouldn’t scream and shout. I wouldn’t waste my emotion on a man who saw me as a joke.
He shoved his fingers through his hair so it stood on end. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“That’s how you want to play it, huh? I’ll spell it out for you. You, Lyla, Lincoln Center.”
