With my eyes closed, I envisioned a frozen lake, where a forest of dark green stretched into the shadows at the end. Snowflakes drifted down, joining the rest of the white. Gray clouds rolled above. It was peaceful, not another soul for miles around. In the distance, I saw an empty log cabin. I raced toward it, ready for sleep, for a retreat away from my hell. When I opened the door, I found a bed by a cozy, lit fire. I imagined lying on it, hearing the crackling as the logs burned to embers.
“She’s angry.” I heard a voice outside my bedroom door. “She’ll come around once she has recovered. In the meantime, take care of her.”
I pretended to be asleep when Edna reentered the room to tighten the two bandages that had come loose. “You poor thing,” she whispered as she sat on the bed, making it dip. “You’re safe now.” Her promise was a lie I was almost prepared to believe, as my mind wandered back to my haven.
Edna hummed as she tightened the second bandage. “His Highness is going to take good care of you. He’s a good man,” she whispered, as if she thought she could persuade me in my subconscious. “You belong to him now. This is your home.”
TEN
My fingers spread over the stone ledge as I craned my neck to look out of the open window. Crisscrossed lead patterned down the glass. A gentle breeze caressed my cheeks. I looked up in time to see a flock of birds take flight from the high branches of the trees nestled at the far end of the gardens. Stretches of luscious, thick grass ran down hills. Flowerbeds, uniformed in colors, lined the path and stepping-stones that wound their way to the castle doors.
Sucking in a pained breath, I whimpered. I squeezed my eyelids shut. Tears pooled in the corners as I was brought back to the panicked flutters of my heart. Out of nowhere, I was dragged away from reality and into the memory of my cage in the pit. I could feel the sun beating on me, exhausting every fiber of my being until I collapsed. I could taste my salty tears relieving my dry tongue. Bile bit up my throat as I recalled the stench of rotting flesh, from the dead left out in the sun, mixed with other bodily fluids of the other prisoners.
My head throbbed like a steady drumbeat, keeping me in a state of silent suffering. Today was the first time I’d been able to stand without help.
Golden Warriors, the name the group called themselves, gathered in the grounds. I heard their chants outside my window daily since arriving. They worshiped the sun, believing it was a higher power.
The door creaked open. I assumed it was Edna, bringing me soup. It was all I could stomach. “It’s a nice day. I could see the sun shining through the window onto the ground. I had to come see,” I told her and gazed upward to the blue sky. “It’s a shame I can never look at the sun the same again though.” I looked down at my healing sores.
“I’m glad to see you’re up and moving around.”
That voice.
I turned, balling my fists. “Kiros,” I spat. My nose scrunched up, and the muscle in my jaw ticked. “Or should I say, ‘Your Highness.’” Spite carried my tone. I hated him. I despised everyone who was responsible for what had happened to me.
He put his hands up in surrender. “I come in peace.”
I scoffed. “You believe it, don’t you? Your own lie.”
His perplexed eyes found mine. The glacier blue contrasted the gold in the room. “What lie?”
“That you’re somehow void of all responsibility for what happened to me because you saved me right as I was about to die. I heard what you said. You knew I was left there, in that place. I am a monarch.” I growled. “A monarch, Prince Kiros!” I inhaled sharply. “You should know better. To treat me so awfully, what does that show the people, either of our people? They already challenge our places on thrones. I know they do here too. If you show my rule such little respect, then you’re opening a gateway for others to do the same to you, and your father. If he were smarter, he’d have done things differently.”
Kiros scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t know the conditions were so—”
“Terrible?” I asked, cutting him off. “Why would you? I mean, how could you not know what’s going on in the kingdom you will one day rule? I thought you were all about fairness and tolerance. What a load of lies.”
His eyes creased at the corners, and his brows furrowed. “You’re still in shock and are recovering, so I will forgive this attitude.”
I rolled my eyes. “Forgive all you want. It won’t make a difference. I stand by what I said. You and your family are vile, disgusting people.”
He tapped his foot against the white marble floor. “I told my father you could be brought under control and reasoned with. If he finds out you’re acting like this, then I wouldn’t like to think about what he would do.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and turned back to look out the window, unable to stand the sight of him for another minute. “Just get out.”
“If I knew you were going to act like this, I never would have…” He hesitated for a few seconds.
“Saved me?” I snickered and looked at him. “How gallant of you.”
“I mean, I thought, I…”
“Yes?” My eyes bulged. “Spit it out,” I mocked.
“You’re impossible to talk to.”
“You locked me in a cage, tortured me, and expect me to what, bow to you for saving me from the brink of death? Well, you’re welcome to hold your breath for an apology, the outcome of which I’d greatly desire.”
He wrinkled his nose, his eyebrows rising up his forehead. I could tell the uncertainty behind his eyes. “You’re very rude. I’ve never been spoken to this way before. I am a prince, may I remind you.”
I swallowed laughter. My lips clamped together. “You’re more arrogant than half the men back at Ash Court, and that says a lot.”
He leaned against the cream-colored wall, drumming his fingers on the side of his leg. “Fine. I’ll get straight to the point then, shall I?”
“Finally.” I walked back to my bed but stepped wrong before I reached the feather-down duvet. I winced when a sharp pain ran up my leg. “Ow!”
He shot me a pained look as he watched me drop onto the bed. “How, um, how are you feeling? Is the medicine helping?”
“I wouldn’t mind more opioid for the pain.”
He nodded curtly. “I will have Edna take care of that as soon as we are done.” He relaxed his shoulders, then maneuvered himself until he was leaning back against the countertop with the basin. “We’ve gotten off on the wrong foot.”
“Understatement of the year.”
He inhaled deeply. “We are willing to offer a deal in exchange for your life.”
I sat forward. My fingers curled into the sheets. “Tell me.”
“You must abdicate the throne and relinquish any power you have to your cousin. If you agree and sign your claim to the crown away, then we will spare your life and eventually look into releasing you out of our custody, into Berovian society.”
Seconds ticked into minutes. I could not believe what I was hearing. My brain fuzzed. “We? You mean your father.”
“King Xenos wanted you killed. I thought this more humane.”
“I’m not a dog.” I groaned. “You can’t just kill me because I won’t obey. My people will revolt.”
“No one knows you’re alive,” he explained. “We have kept your identity hidden.”
Cedric knows, I thought, but he wouldn’t tell. Not when he was focused on getting me out of here. Fulfilling his promise to me. My lips parted. Sadness crept down my chest and tightened around my heart. “Then you’ll quietly kill me, and it will be as if I died in Niferum.”
“Yes.” He pulled on his earlobe.
I watched him carefully. His stance was restless. He looked as if he’d barely gotten any sleep. The gears in my mind clicked into place. “You said you believed this was more humane, that you saved me.”
He nodded but wouldn’t look at me.
I understood now. “It’s warped, but this was your plan, right? Now it’s fai
ling. You tried to find a way to save me. Why not let me die? What do you have to gain from my life?”
He swallowed hard. “You’re smart.”
“Flattery won’t distract me. The truth, now.” Oh how I missed the fae and their inability to lie.
“I’m not trying to,” he said quickly. “I need you to trust me.”
“There’s a better chance of it snowing.” I laughed and looked over at the brightly lit sky through the window.
“I pitied you,” he admitted. “I couldn’t watch someone treated like that, especially a woman.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure.”
“I’m being honest. If you choose not to believe me, then that’s up to you. Look, I understand not wanting to lose your rule, but—”
I clenched my jaw. “Stop! I can’t take this for a moment longer. I will say this only once. I will never, ever give up my birthright! My crown. My people. Never. I don’t care what you do, how much you torture me. I will not betray the ancestors. I was born a princess, but I will die a queen.”
His expression dropped. “Then I guess there’s nothing more for us to discuss.” He glanced back one last time before leaving through the doors. My jaw was aching from talking so much, and my throat sore. I’d used up what little energy I had, and now I wanted to sleep. I laid back on the bed, closing my eyes for a moment.
He couldn’t seriously have believed I would say yes. Even King Xenos had to have known I would decline. What sort of queen would I be if I easily gave up?
There was another reason he’d saved me. It couldn’t have been pity. He had a plan for me, I was sure of it, and if I were wrong, I’d surely be dead by morning.
ELEVEN
Cedric visited my dreams that night. I hovered on the edge of waking when he took my hand, relief sweeping his features. “Winter. I’ve been trying to reach you.” His eyes were bloodshot, and dark circles shadowed under them. “I’m working on finding a way to get you out of there.” He looked me up and down. Tears pooled in the corners of his golden-brown eyes. “I hate seeing you like this. My beautiful girl, so bruised and broken.”
I brushed my hand on his cheek. The scene of gray around us melted into a forest with narrow, time-chiseled trees and a red-leaf-carpeted ground. Dappled light poured through the canopy of oranges, yellow, and red.
I spread my fingers over his chest, my body clinging to his embrace, afraid to let go. “I don’t want to go back,” I whispered. A childlike innocence laced my voice. “Please, Cedric. Prince Kiros has me. He wants me to give up my throne. If I don’t, he said they’re going to kill me.”
His eyebrows pinched together at the mention of his name. “He’s a piece of work. Devious too. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I don’t care how much he pretends otherwise, there’s not a single good bone in his body. He’s a copy of his father through and through.”
“I need to get out of here.”
“I’m going to find a way.” He ran his fingertip across my top lip, his gaze regarding me. I searched his expression. He let out a deep, weighted sigh. “I promise. I miss you. I’m sorry this happened.” Desperation washed over his face as he gripped his fingers onto my arms. I flinched at the pain that didn’t come; it was a dream, I reminded myself.
He leaned his face forward, and the tingle of his breath made my legs tremble. His lips crashed against mine, sending butterflies swirling in my stomach. I wished it were real. It felt like it, but it was all an illusion, dream-walking, and it couldn’t save me.
“Find me again,” I begged. “Please.”
“I’ve tried. It’s difficult, especially from this far away. I will keep trying though. Have faith, Winter. I’ll get you out of there. I’ll find my way back to you,” he told me, fear shining in his eyes.
“Now you know why I don’t like solises.” I joked.
He thumbed my cheek. “They’re not all bad. Kiros and Xenos are exceptions.”
“But look how they treat us?”
“Some do, many wouldn’t.”
I swallowed thickly. “Perhaps. But their ruler is vile.”
“Agreed.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this mess. I’m afraid and far too weak to do anything about it.”
“You couldn’t escape if you tried.” He warned. “There are guards around all the walls and you don’t have your staff.”
“Great.”
“I will break you out. I have an idea of what to do.”
“Care to tell me?” My gaze met his, pleading in my eyes. “Cedric, I need to know.”
“I’m going to contact some old friends. Find a way to get you out. For now, try to stay alive.”
I closed my eyes. “I’ll try. I’m lucky to still be here. I feel worse than ever. Like I’ll never move past this.”
“Let’s not think too much right now.” He kissed my forehead. “Enjoy our dream.”
I smiled, resting against him, feeling painless for a moment.
My eyelids fluttered open to Edna changing my bandages. I grunted and turned onto my side. “Don’t wake me up ever again.” I grumbled.
“Sorry, miss.” She stepped back, taking the discarded bandage with her.
I closed my eyes, but it was too late. Cedric was gone, as was my sleep.
“Can I get you some breakfast?”
I exhaled sharply. “Sure,” I muttered groggily.
“Eggs?” She asked.
I nodded.
“Eggs,” she repeated and hurried to the door. Her blonde bun bounced as she walked. “Oh!” She turned the handle, then whipped her head back. “His Royal Highness will be visiting your chambers today. He told me to tell you he has good news.”
I scoffed. “That’s unlikely, but thank you, Edna.” I didn’t know why I was being so harsh. She’d been nothing but nice to me in the brief moments I’d been awake.
Edna cleared her throat. “Miss, the bath has been filled. You should go and see it. I think you’ll like it. Your room has one of the best ones.”
I waited for her to close the door, then tried to edge myself out of bed. Surprisingly, I was feeling a little better. Either I’d been asleep for weeks, or most likely, they’d given me some magical healing something or the other to speed it up. A shooting pain ripped through my stomach when I finally stood. My feet ached against the hard ground. My arms felt heavy as I slowly moved, barely inches with each step, toward the bathroom. I moved back the room separator with agony, glancing at a harp collecting dust next to the doorway, and stepped inside.
My hand shot to my mouth. I’d never seen anything like it. The evocative smell of rosewater and citrus wafted over to me. Blue and red petals floated on the surface. Enclosed columns stood around the small, square pool. Steps led down into the hot water. Steam spiraled up from the surface and disappeared into the warm air. The walls were brown and gold. Murals of mercreatures, made to look far more beautiful than the creatures I’d been accustomed to seeing, stretched across the tiles. My stare fixated on their seaweed-green eyes, which glowed against the painting. I looked around. Surely the massive pool wasn’t just for me.
I gazed to the left, and my eyes paused when I saw a separate section closed off from the rest of the pool. It was filled with milk, or at least that was what it looked like.
“What sort of place is this?”
My aching muscles begged for me to take advantage. I shuddered to think how long it had been since I’d bathed. Edna had sponged me down last night, but it didn’t quite get rid of the stench leftover from the cage. I was afraid nothing would.
I peeled my silk nightdress over my head and watched it ripple down to the tan-colored stone floor. My toes curled when I stepped into the steaming water. I groaned lightly but walked in farther, each step pulling me deeper into the bath, until the water reached my shoulders. When I tried to run my hand through my hair, my fingers got caught by several tangles.
My pain melted away. Whatever they’d put in the water soothed my cuts and brui
ses. A few of the bandages, which I’d forgotten to remove, danced in the water. I took them off completely and tossed them onto the stone ledge to the side.
I ran my finger against my lips, then bent my knees and floated in the water, letting it carry me. My thoughts relaxed, pouring from one to the next. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. Ripples moved outward as I swam the short distance to the back of the room.
Unwantedly, Blaise’s smile crept into my relaxed state. I hadn’t expected it, but the more I focused on his smoky, intense gaze and plump lips, I remembered the way it felt to be in his arms. It consumed every ounce of my being. I could easily have lost myself to him every time. It teetered on dangerous. I hated him so much, but I wanted him to want me. I never wanted to share him. He brought out a jealousy in me I hadn’t known existed.
With Cedric, it was different. When I was with him, I threw my inhibitions to the wind. I felt safe. I knew what I wanted. There was a clarity there that I didn’t have with Blaise. Cedric felt like home.
My heart ached for them both, although I’d never admit it aloud.
Sinking into the water, I disappeared under the surface, keeping my eyes squeezed shut. After a minute, I resurfaced and sucked in a deep breath.
I detangled the knots and washed my black strands. My hair now reached down to the bottom of my back. I rinsed it twice before gripping onto the stone ledge and pulling myself out of the bath.
Edna appeared in the arched doorway. “Miss Winter. I have fresh towels for you.” She held a set of four white cotton towels and placed them on a freestanding wooden chair by the harp next to the door. Her gaze drifted to the wet bandages. “If you need anything else, please let me know. I will go and prepare you some new bandages. Your breakfast is being brought up shortly.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. I didn’t want to be ungrateful, but it was hard to find a positive in anything. I was past the point of despair and self-pity. I was becoming numb to everything, including myself. Home was so far away, and there was no way for me to escape. Hope was fading, and without hope, I had nothing.
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