“I know the feeling,” he said. “And trust me—when you’ve got out-of-nowhere anxiety like that, the worst thing you can do is sit around dwelling on it. Come on, we can get a sitter for Faye then go get some good food. That and a little wine will get you feeling right as rain.”
Wine did sound absolutely heavenly. But I was pregnant—no more booze until baby number two was born.
“Sure,” I said. “Let me go put something nicer on.”
“There you go,” he said. “Ready when you are.”
He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek before heading back inside.
Alone on the balcony once again, I took a long, deep breath, telling myself that I needed to calm the hell down.
Justin was right—a night out would be better than sitting around and stewing in my own anxiety. Sure, it wouldn’t solve the long-term problem of telling him the news, but it would help for tonight. All I had to worry about was coming up with an excuse for not being able to drink.
I went to the bedroom and threw on some nicer jeans and a fitted, pink blouse. Blanc’s wasn’t super-fancy, so I didn’t need to dress up. Once I was ready. I regarded my reflection in the mirror, standing to the side and imagining how I’d look in just a few months’ time.
“Okay,” I said, coming back to the living room. “Ready when you are.”
Right at that moment, the elevator doors opened, the smartly dressed, young woman who would be looking after Faye appearing. She greeted us with a professional “hello” before going to check in on Faye. I still couldn’t get over how unbelievably convenient having on-call sitters was. I didn’t like to use them too much, but they were perfect for nights like tonight.
We said our goodbyes to Faye and the sitter before stepping into the elevator. Soon we were outside, Justin taking my arm and leading me down the streets of the West Village. As we walked, I considered how never in my life did I ever think I’d be with a man like Justin, living in a neighborhood like this. Sure, I didn’t officially live at his place, but Faye and I had been staying there so often that it might as well have been the case.
And then I realized how, with one sentence, one revelation, it could all vanish. I’d be the same lonely, struggling single mom I was before.
We soon arrived at Blanc’s. The restaurant was a stylish, trendy place with wood tables and young, attractive servers. The owner greeted us and led us to our table, which was all the way in the back in a cozy, private little nook.
Once we were seated, Justin snatched up the wine list.
“I hope you’re in the mood for some duck wine,” he said, his eyes on the list. “Because I talked to the sommelier here a week or so ago and convinced him to put in on the menu.”
“I don’t know if I’m feeling alcohol tonight,” I said. “I’m feeling kind of funny.”
It was a lame excuse, but it was the best I could come up with. I never was a good liar.
An expression of concern crossed his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come out if I knew you were under the weather.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said. “But I think I want to play it safe tonight.”
He reached under the table and gave my leg a squeeze. Damn, how I loved his touch.
“Okay,” he said. “Just don’t feel like you need to fib on my behalf.”
I gulped. He had no idea how true his statement was.
The waiter arrived and let us know about the specials. Justin ordered the porterhouse, and I ordered the duck.
“If I’m not going to drink it, at least I can eat it,” I said with a smile.
“Atta girl,” he said.
We worked our way through the appetizers, then the main courses. I was hungrier than I thought and ended up absolutely devouring my food. The plate was soon clean, and I made sure to sop up the last bits of juices with a slice of perfectly toasted bread.
After the main courses, we had a dessert of pear tarts, which were positively divine. Justin was right—a night out was what I needed to calm down.
But as soon as the plates were taken away, the coffee was served, and the bill was brought, the same tensions returned.
There was no getting away from the truth. I was pregnant and no amount of fancy meals out would change that. And each day that passed would bring me closer to a point when my pregnancy would become obvious.
I wrung my hands under the table, knowing that I needed to say something.
“You okay?” asked Justin. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I turned to Justin, and the words tumbled out of my mouth.
“I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 26
Justin
“You’re…what?”
I was in a state of total shock.
“I’m pregnant.”
I sat back, sure that she was screwing with me.
“This is a joke, right?” I asked. “You’re messing with me. Come on.”
The color drained out of her face. Her mouth opened slightly.
“That…wasn’t the way I expected you to take this,” Heather said softly, her disappointment clear in her voice.
“Then—you’re being serious?”
“Of course, I’m being serious,” she snapped, her tone sharp enough to attract the attention of a pair of servers who were standing nearby.
I shot them a hard look, letting them know this wasn’t a conversation to be listened in on. They quickly turned their attention away.
I said nothing, instead sitting back in my seat and staring off into the middle distance. I didn’t know what to say.
“Justin,” Heather said earnestly. “Say something—anything.”
“How…how far along are you?”
“About eight weeks, I think,” she said. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so I’ll know for sure then.”
“I see,” I said. I did the quick math. It meant that she’d gotten pregnant pretty soon after we met up again for the show. I couldn’t believe it.
“Justin, come on. Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Heather said, her voice soft and pleading. “I need to know how you feel about all this.”
But I didn’t know what to say. It was bizarre—I ran my own business worth billions of dollars, employed thousands of people, and frequently worked out deals with fortunes on the line. But here I was, reduced to total mental blankness by Heather with only two words.
“Justin. Say something, please.”
I knew I needed to reassure her, to tell that I wasn’t mad, that everything was going to be okay.
But that’s not what I did.
“I—I need to meet with a client tonight,” I said, spitting out what was possibly the worst, most transparent lie of my entire life. “Forgot he was coming in tonight. He’s, um, an old-fashioned kind of guy, wants to hang out with just another guy. You know how it is. And I’m going out of town tomorrow for a couple of days at least, so it’s probably best for you and Faye to stay at your place.”
Heather said nothing, a look of total shock on her face. I had to guess she was so dumbstruck by the lie that she didn’t even know what to say.
“Finish up here,” I said. “I’ve got the bill taken care of. And I’ll arrange for you for a ride back to your place. I’ll—I’ll be in touch. Talk to you soon.”
I hurried out of the seat, glancing back just long enough to catch sight of the look of total shock on Heather’s face, her eyes heavy with tears that were seconds away from pouring.
I rushed out of the restaurant, the evening air cool on my face. Once outside, I fired off a quick text letting my driver know that I was going to need a pickup at my place, and for him to tell me when Heather and Faye were gone.
I was still reeling from how bad my lie was. And even worse than that, it was a cowardly lie. I’d lied in order to get away as fast as possible from the woman who was pregnant with my baby.
I put all of that out of my head as quickly as
I could as I walked around the block. I shoved my hands into my pockets as I tried to figure out what I was going to do next.
Out of nowhere, the idea of paying her off flashed into my head, like an option offered by the devil who sits on your shoulder. It wouldn’t be hard—I could easily pay her a yearly stipend of a hundred thousand dollars or so, maybe more. On top of that, I’d offer her and Faye and the new baby health insurance, a savings account, and even a college fund.
Maybe I could even buy them a nice big house somewhere outside of the city.
I came back to my senses almost instantly, pushing the idea out of my mind. To do that would be to abandon my own flesh and blood. I, of all people, knew the consequences of not having family around.
I walked on and on, trying to figure out what I was going to do.
Me, a father. It was an idea so crazy that I could hardly believe it. Sure, I’d considered the possibility that I’d start a family at some point, but it had always seemed like something far off into the hazy future, something that I’d do when everything was perfect and in order.
Still, Heather was beautiful and kind and wonderful to be around. Would it be the worst thing in the world if she had my child and we raised it together?
And what about marriage?
The “M” word sent shivers up my spine. Back in my twenties, the idea of getting hitched was like some kind of joke to me. After all, who would want to settle down with only one woman when the world was full of beautiful girls?
After an hour of walking the blocks of my neighborhood, I got a text from my driver, letting me know that Heather and Faye were in the car with him, headed back to her apartment. Part of me wanted to follow up, to ask him how she was doing. But I thought better of it.
I returned to the penthouse, which was empty and quiet. Heather had taken her things, and the nursery was dark and empty, nothing inside but a lonely crib.
This was my life without Heather.
Chapter 27
Justin
Days passed. In front of me, the oversized TV played reruns of some sci-fi show that I’d seen a million times before. An open pizza box with a few slices remaining was on the coffee table in front of me, a few empty beer bottles next to it. I was dressed in sleeping pants and a plain white T-shirt—the same thing I’d worn for the last couple of days.
On the TV, the captain of the spaceship was going on about some kind of alien infestation in the engine room. I wasn’t sure—my eyes were glazed over, and the TV show was little more than a loud blur off in the distance. I reached forward and picked up a slice of pizza, bringing it to my mouth and taking a bite without even really thinking about it.
After that, I picked up one of the beer bottles, only to find that it was empty. Letting out an annoyed grunt, I tossed the pizza slice back into the box and heaved myself up off the couch, making my way to the kitchen. Once there, I started the quest for booze.
A red bottle on the counter caught my eye. My interest piqued, I headed over to it and picked it up with a sloppy swipe. But my stomach tensed when I looked at the label.
Duck wine. The wine Heather and I had bonded over.
I sighed, figuring booze was booze. After fumbling around with the wine key, I soon had it open, pouring myself a full mug. I gave it a sip, and it tasted…fine.
In reality, it was a pretty okay wine—nothing amazing, but about what you’d expect from a fifteen-dollar bottle. As I swished it around in my mouth, however, I realized instantly why it was that I’d thought it was so special.
It was because of Heather.
It was sharing it with her, sipping together at the vineyard during our trip up Long Island, sitting curled up next to each other as we watched the sunset, my arm wrapped around her delicate shoulders.
I looked over the mess that I’d let the penthouse become in Heather’s absence. It’d taken only two days for it to become a total bachelor pad with food containers here and there, empty beer bottles, and nothing but bad movies and video games on the TV.
I hated it. I missed Heather. I missed snuggling up to her first thing in the morning. I missed the way she tasted, and I missed the way she smelled.
I missed Faye’s giggle. I missed the way her big blue eyes lit up when she saw me, the way she reached her chubby little fingers out for me when she saw me in the morning.
My life without those two was as flavorless as the pizza. But I’d sent them away, all because I didn’t know how to handle it when I’d received the most important news of my life. I could’ve been there, made it all better with a few simple words: It’s okay—it’s all going to be okay. I love you.
Love. The word had been in the back of my mind for some time, but I’d been afraid to say it, afraid of what it’d mean to breathe it and give it life. One word would make everything change for me, and I was scared to do it.
Grumbling, I finished the wine and tossed the mug into the sink. I looked over the penthouse, realizing that I had it all. But without love, it was nothing.
What could I do? When Heather opened herself up to me, she told me that Faye’s father had let her down and showed his true colors when he decided to leave. Sure, I hadn’t done anything so final to Faye, but what else had I done other than show what kind of man I was? She had told me the news and I panicked, acted like a scared, stupid kid.
I couldn’t imagine her forgiving me. Not only had I burned her, but I’d also burned her in the same way she’d been hurt before. I couldn’t imagine her forgiving me.
Well, if I couldn’t have Heather, I could at least have booze.
I snatched up the wine bottle and trudged back to the living room, where I plopped down onto the couch and prepared myself for a night of booze and pizza and bad TV. I’d told my executives that I’d be taking a few days off, and I planned to take advantage of it.
Right as I attempted to get back into the show, however, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and saw that it was Andrew. Was he in the city? If so, maybe a booze-soaked night out would help me forget my troubles.
Not likely, but worth a shot.
“What’s up?” I asked before taking a pull of wine.
“Hey, buddy!” he said. “Just wanted to see what you thought about the show so far?”
I was confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“Uh, the show we made together?”
I shook my head, bringing the memory back. It seemed like I’d done the reality show years ago.
“Yeah, I know. But what about it?”
“Tonight’s the premiere!” he said. “You don’t remember?”
I guess I didn’t. I’d been so wrapped up in Heather that I’d almost forgotten about everything else.
“Um, just been really busy,” I said, searching around for the remote.
Once I located it, I turned off the sci-fi junk and searched around the listings. Sure enough, there it was—Baby in the Penthouse.
“Too busy for your starring role?” he asked. “Anyway, doesn’t matter. We’re on our first commercial break now, and the reviews are killer. Internet buzz is out of control. They love you, they love Faye, and they love the hell out of Heather. She’s got something, man—I mean that.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice.
“And on top of that, ratings are awesome. If we finish strong, I’m thinking we’ll have a winner on our hands. And that means for us both—good press means your baby line’s going to be flying off the shelf. Every mom’s going to want to be dressed like Heather, and they’re going to want their baby dressed like Faye.”
I didn’t care about any of that. All I wanted was to see Heather and Faye again.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to watch. Let me know if there are any new developments.”
“You bet, J,” he said. “And get excited—this is going places.”
I hung up and tossed the phone onto the couch, eagerly waiting for the show to return.
Soon it did, the title screen impo
sed over a shot of the New York skyline, and then my penthouse building. The shot changed to one of inside my penthouse, during the part when Heather first arrived.
Damn, she looked beautiful. I knew right away what Andrew had seen, what everyone watching was seeing. Heather had effortless, radiant beauty that made your eyes lock onto the screen. Even through my fog of junk food and booze, my mind was crystal clear and totally focused on her.
I watched as TV-me led her around the penthouse, her gorgeous green eyes wide as she took in the luxury I took for granted. She looked like a damn princess.
I sat totally gripped by the show. In scene after scene she led me patiently through all the ins and outs of baby care, teaching me how to feed Faye, how to hold her, how to soothe her when she was upset. And Faye looked adorable, too. I couldn’t have hoped for a better model for my baby line.
The show soon ended, a quick montage of clips showing the viewer what they could expect for the next episode. As soon as the credits rolled, I got a text on my phone from Andrew.
Ratings are off the chart! We did it, J!
It was funny. Months ago, making this show a success would’ve been all I gave a damn about. But now, that only thing I wanted was to have Heather and Faye here next to me.
This couldn’t stand. There was something wrong with me, something that made me stupidly throw away a woman I loved.
And I needed to get to the bottom of why.
My mind raced. What would be wrong with me that would make me act such a way? How could I begin to find out?
Then it hit me—this went all the way back to my childhood. There was one place to start, and it was with my mother.
Tomorrow I’d go see her, to find out what she and my father had done, or not done, that had made me so wary of love and family. I’d have answers, and maybe if I was lucky, I could start the process of doing whatever it would take to love not only my girls, but the baby still to come.
Chapter 28
A Baby, Quick! (Baby Surprises Book 3) Page 15
