To Blackshade’s surprise it wasn’t Tremendous that offered an answer, but Artificer, “Our preliminary studies of the animals and insects of this world show that they are not truly alive, much the same way as humanity is not alive.” the Omega engineer began, “It seems that whatever process your species went through in order to become what you are now was not a linear process. There were many offshoots of evolution that came from your original form, and the forms of the other waste products we dumped here to biodegrade. During your evolutionary process, your programs attempted to change your physical form in ways that made survival on this toxic world possible. With trillions of tons of waste and ceased units on the planet, there were numerous variations to those mutations, and some of the results were simpler creations that retained only partial renderings of not only your original forms, but of your cognitive programming as well.”
Blackshade didn’t fully understand, “So, animals and insects are just, failed forms of humanity?”
Artificer shook its head slightly, “Not exactly. I would not call the mutations failures. I would call them more simplistic, or specialized mutations of the original host. Animals have evolved acutely to this world, while humanity has evolved obtusely. An animal has a specific set of skills that typically will not improve, or degrade as the mutated species breeds. For example, monkeys will always be great climbers. They will always be social; they will always have fur, and they will always be a bit unpredictable. In many ways, those are traits humanity shares with them. Some monkeys will be better climbers than others, some will be more or less social, and some will have thinner or thicker fur. These acute changes are as far as differences go inside the monkey sub-type. You will never find a monkey that invents a musical instrument. A monkey will never develop sophisticated architecture or create an irrigation process. A monkey will never create a complex machine or sculpt a magnificent statue. This is because the adaptations this particular sub-type of human went through sacrificed complex cerebral processing power for physical evolution. We can only assume that this was due to the extreme situation of the environment the originators of this sub-type were in at the time, but because of it, the monkeys of this world will never be more, or less, than they are today. They have peaked in their adaptation capability.” As Artificer answered, the display before them showed images of monkeys climbing trees, eating bugs, and grooming each other. Blackshade saw a series of four numbers on the bottom corner of the display that he quickly realized were indicating what year the image had been recorded. It was then that he realized the Omegas were showing them human recordings, and not images that originated from the Omegas themselves.
The image changed abruptly from monkeys to house flies in a disorienting blur as Artificer continued, “Now, let us look at your insects. Before you is one of the most common insects on your planet, the house fly. Just like the characteristics that define monkeys, house flies will always be capable of flight, they will always have multi-faceted eyes, and they will always eat poison because that is how their programming mutated from humanity’s during their attempt to adapt to this toxic world. Unlike the monkeys though, insects are a sub-optimal adaptation, and because of the failures of their adaptation, they do not function for very long. The common house fly, for example, is not an intelligent machine. It utilizes a cause-effect system for processing information, but only at its most rudimentary level. If it detects a fast movement, it flees. If it detects poison, or decay, it feeds, and just like most species on this planet, when it can, it will attempt to breed. The house fly will never build a home, it will never design even the crudest of shelters, and even if they had the capacity to do so, their functional life is so short they would never see their creation come to fruition. We can only assume this sub-type adapted this way because of extreme conditions the originator of the species found itself in. So, to answer your question, animals and insects are sub-types of humanity that evolved to survive on the planet in acute ways as opposed to the way humans have evolved in obtuse ways. Do you understand, Blackshade?”
Blackshade was beginning to regret asking the question, “I think so, Artificer… What you’re saying is that animals and insects are machines that mutated from humans? If that was true, why haven’t our scientists discovered that? Wouldn’t animals and insects have similar DNA as us, if that was the case?” he asked, realizing how desperate he was to find a fallacy in Artificer’s explanation.
Now it was Artificer’s turn to look confused. The Omega closed its eyes and leaned its head back for a few moments, then its eyes reopened, and it lowered its head to face him again, “Blackshade, your scientists do know about this, they call it Horizontal Gene Transfer. They have found animal and insect DNA inside of you. Most of it is dormant, but this is well documented by your scientific community.” It explained, “According to your internet, it is known that the animal you have the closest DNA comparison too is a porcus, or pig. The reason you do not resemble a pig, and the reason a pig does not resemble a human, is because the porcine genes that decide factors like that are dormant. However, the genes are there, irrefutably proving that at some point in your evolution, everything on this planet came from a single source.” Artificer paused for a moment to watch the display as images of many small DNA strings began to flow out of one larger string. As the small DNA strings flew away from the larger one, they morphed into the different animals and insects on the planet.
“Scrappers were created to be adaptable to almost any environment in the universe. We believe that this adaptability is what made it possible for your species to thrive on this planet. We also theorize that due to the fact that your forms are so similar to your original design that much of your original programming is still intact in your cerebrals. This was partially proven when Tremendous successfully installed the translation program into you. It’s all really quite extraordinary!”
It was a lot of information for Blackshade to process, but he had to concede Artificer’s point for now. He would go back later and re-watch their exchange on the internet, he was still recording and broadcasting this after all. There would be plenty of time to process and speculate what Artificer was telling him later.
He decided to change the subject, “Tremendous said that humans have organs and fluids that act just like the vital hardware in one of our own machines. Does that mean Omegas don’t have organs? You don’t bleed? You don’t have fluids running inside of you?” Blackshade asked, truly curious about the answer.
Tremendous smiled. “No, Blackshade. Omegas do not have organs. Not like you do. True living creatures are not pieced together like your kind. Similar to cells, true living creatures are made up of different density tissues that perform similar functions as your organs do. The difference is, if those tissues are damaged, our tissues simply become more or less dense in another area and carry out the function the damaged tissues had performed.” Tremendous explained.
Tremendous motioned for Minder to join them. Minder immediately moved to stand next to Tremendous, looking almost bored by everything that was happening. With the Secret Service Agents dispatched and the remaining delegates placated, Minder’s reason for being here was mostly moot.
Tremendous reached up and drug a finger across Minder’s chest. A long cut appeared across the path Tremendous’ finger drew. The cut went deep and showed what looked like densely packed layers of tan muscle beneath the Omega’s jet black skin. Blackshade couldn’t help but wince at the wound; Minder didn’t so much as blink. No blood or bodily fluids of any kind came from the wound, and as they stood there Blackshade saw the wound was already beginning to shrink and close. Within thirty seconds, the wound was completely healed without so much as a blemish to show where it had ever been. The skin was still unmarked and perfect as ever.
“We do have fluids inside of our bodies, but when we are hurt our bodies push the fluids away from the wound to keep them inside of us where they belong. An Omega does not bleed unless the wound is so grievous, and so sudden, that our b
odies cannot respond in time…which is thankfully a very rare occurrence.” Tremendous said.
Blackshade nodded his understanding, “If we aren’t real living creatures then why do we look so similar to you?” he asked.
Tremendous chuckled at this, “The Omegas that created you made you in our own image; it is as simple as that. You are smaller and more fragile than we are of course, but when you are creating something as sophisticated as your species was at the time, you always start with what you know.”
Blackshade found he believed this, “That’s really the only reason our two races look so similar?” he asked.
Tremendous sighed but didn’t seem agitated by the question, “Think of how your own kind creates. All of the stories we see on your internet show that cyborgs, automatons, and other highly sophisticated, life-like machines look very similar to yourselves.” Tremendous pointed out, “And your kind is not exactly like my kind. You are much smaller, weaker, have fewer toes and fingers, and no tails. Not to mention the accumulation of all those dead cells you allow to collect all over your bodies.” the Omega said with a little disgust, “So there are plenty of differences, if that helps you to understand. You are made in our image because the corporation that made you decided to do so. There is probably a good reason for their decision, intelligent design, familiarity, efficiency… but I do not know for sure.”
“Dead cells?” Blackshade asked confused.
Tremendous motioned towards his head, “You call it… hair.” the Omega leader responded with a hint of revulsion.
Blackshade reached up and ran his hand over what little hair he had. “Our hair is unnatural?”
Tremendous nodded vigorously, its disgust far more apparent, “Yes, we would never design a machine that shed dead cells so radically that it exuded from their skin in cylinders. There is no purpose for it. We are not sure why your bodies evolved to amass dead cells the way they do, but it is a bit disgusting.” Tremendous said, motioning towards the President’s own mop of hair, “I am aware you do not refer to your growths as dead cells. I must ask though, you do know… hair… is just dead cells that are oozing out of your flesh, right?”
Blackshade wouldn’t argue the fact, especially since Tremendous was technically right. He didn’t want to get into a pointless debate on whether or not hair was disgusting or about any purpose it may or may not serve. He felt like he was missing something much bigger, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think of anything else to ask. He wished he was smarter, but he did his best and there was nothing else for it. He resigned himself to the fact that the internet was going to tear him apart for not asking questions they would come up with, days after the fact, from the comfort of their own homes. Such was the way of the internet warrior.
“So, what’s next for us then?” Blackshade asked, at a loss.
Tremendous smiled and Blackshade was pleased to see that it was a warm, sincere smile, “Next, I put your President back together, and we continue our discussion with a new understanding.” the Omega replied mirthfully.
Blackshade watched, making sure to record and transmit every second with the voyeur drone as Tremendous reassembled the President. It took quite a bit longer to put Silvia back together than it had to disassemble him, but wasn’t it always easier to destroy than to create? Once the President was reassembled, Tremendous waggled his fingers over the man’s forehead, similar to the way he had before. Blackshade saw only one word blazing across the man’s forehead, and it was as accurate as it was telling.
“TERRIFIED”
“How are you feeling, little one?” Tremendous asked gently, as he completed the assembly process.
President Silvia’s courage broke. Instead of an answer, he screamed in abject horror and fled from the room. Some of the delegates followed him, while others simply laughed as they boasted how they would have handled the situation. Blackshade didn’t blame the President for running away. The man had just been broken into pieces and put on a desk for the entire world to see. His pornographic video had been shown to his colleagues, and he had drawn the wrath of a fifteen-foot-tall, musclebound alien. The man had been courageous enough for a lifetime as far as Blackshade was concerned. A delegate from Illinois stood up. He was a lithe, black man whom Blackshade had never seen before. Not that that was a surprise, Blackshade had never followed politics very closely.
“We apologize for President Silvia, Mister…. uhhh…. pardon me, Lord Tremendous.” the man stumbled over the title, “President Novatrix has been notified of the situation. She should be here soon, and we can resume this meeting if that is ok with you.” the man said, bowing slightly. Blackshade thought the man was a superb kiss-ass, but had delivered the information well.
“That will suffice.” Tremendous answered with a slight bow of his own.
The delegate humbly sat back down. Blackshade thought the man looked slightly star-struck.
It didn’t take long for President Novatrix to arrive. She came into the room in a hurry, causing the door to bang open, startling some of the delegates. President Elizabeth Barbara Novatrix was the daughter of a famous video game designer, which many people believed had helped her become the youngest female president in history. At just thirty-six years old, she won the presidency and had grown in popularity ever since. She was married to Charita Amber Novatrix, who some on the internet referred to as a, ‘bombshell gold digger’. Charita was President Novatrix’s first intern when the President had begun running for a seat in congress. Their wedding was a media sensation, which helped her greatly in her future elections. President Novatrix was a no nonsense, practical woman that was known for keeping a cool head even in dire circumstances. She was also known for forming national, government funded animal sanctuaries and animal abuse task forces. Amongst animal lovers, no one polled higher. With her reputation, Blackshade wondered why she wasn’t the one that had met with the aliens, rather than President Silvia.
Fearlessly, President Novatrix walked directly to her place in the middle of the room and looked at each of the Omegas, obviously sizing them up. President Novatrix was a pale, Caucasian woman with shoulder length brown hair. She wore the current armless, thin framed glasses that pinched a person’s nose to stay in place and a classy white gold necklace. She was wearing a tight fitting brown jacket along with a form fitting brown skirt that accentuated her curvy physique perfectly. Blackshade had never been fond of the way the President seemed to talk down to everyone she spoke to, but he had always found the woman engaging. Her mother was a world renowned video game designer and her father had left before she was born, according to the documentaries on the internet. According to them, the President’s mother used her impressive intellect and knowledge of computer sciences, to get a position in a highly respected computer programing school. After graduating, she went on to develop the most played video game on the planet. She then used the money and influence her success afforded her to ensure her only child went to all the best schools and had all the right opportunities. During Novatrix’s cadency one prominent internet blogger stated that she was so well groomed for the Presidency, it was as if she had been born, raised, and designed for the position. Judging by her astounding eighty-eight percent approval rating, that blogger was absolutely right.
“Lord Tremendous, Lord Artificer, and Lord Minder.” she said, nodding to each of them in turn, “I am President Elizabeth Novatrix, and on behalf of the Candaerican people, I greet you in peace.” she finished with the Omega’s salute.
As one, the Omegas returned her salute. Artificer and Tremendous were smiling brightly, and even Minder didn’t glare at her; although the big Omega did not smile at her either. Still, Blackshade thought it was a good sign. Tremendous raised his hand toward the President and Blackshade saw the woman resist the urge to itch at her forehead. He knew Tremendous had just given her the translation program. It didn’t surprise him to see that the President had been expecting this; the woman had a reputation for being overly prepared. It made sense tha
t she had done her homework on the Omegas, or at least, one of her aides had.
“I apologize for President Silvia’s behavior. The man can be a bit difficult at times, but please understand that being taken apart and put back together would break even the toughest person amongst us.” she said cleanly. She then walked closer to the Omegas, tapped a floor sensor and rested a notebook on the podium that came up from the floor. “Please, if you would, tell me what you would like of us.”
Tremendous was clearly impressed and did not try to hide it. “President Novatrix, it is an honor to meet you.” he said sincerely, “As I said to your counter-part, we wish to study your species to determine what caused you to evolve the way you have. Our research will not harm your people, nor will it cause any disruption to your day-to-day lives. We simply wish to observe and research. Nothing more.”
President Novatrix nodded and wrote something down in her notebook, “I understand. What will you require from us in order to make this possible?” she asked.
“We will require three point five percent of your total land mass in order to set up a base on the planet to do our research.” Tremendous answered honestly.
Novatrix jotted something down in her notebook and then pointed at one of the people that had followed her into the room. A twenty-something year old man skittishly moved towards the President. Blackshade couldn’t hear what they said, but he could read the words on their foreheads, “How much of Candaerica is 3.5%” scrolled across the President’s head. The man next to her punched in a few commands on his Vesalius before Blackshade saw, “865,000 square kilometers” scroll across his head. Novatrix then punched a few commands into her own Vesalius before Blackshade saw, “Half the size of Rhode Island” run across her head. He was finding this new ability very useful!
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