by J P Sayle
Needing to know if I was right, I stepped closer to Scott and tried not to breathe too deeply. “What room are you staying in?” I locked my eyes with his silver gaze and used my most dominant tone. His lashes fluttered as his pupils dilated.
His pink tongue flicked across his plump lips making them glisten wetly under the lights. “I’m… in…” His face filled with confusion as he dug out the envelope. His gaze moved to his hand before he defiantly looked back at me. “1681, not that it’s any of your business,” he said belligerently as his chin poked out, challenging me.
Oh that would not do.
My hand clenched the bag I held, as the reality of who I’d made a date with sank in. All the flirty chat I’d engaged in, along with all that I’d revealed about my needs, came back to slap me in the face. Would Scott run when he learned I was his date?
Tempted to blurt it out and ask, I clamped my mouth shut. Think damn it. Should I just let him go to the room and delete my profile and pretend I’d never heard of The App? Or should I face what I’d known about myself since my father started to demand I act like the man he wanted me to be?
What, a man that many people disliked? Yeah go back to that because that really worked for you.
And wasn’t that the problem? My father’s influence was so ingrained on what I presented to the world, I’d forgotten who I really was underneath the veneer.
I’d never hidden that I was gay. From the moment I realised I was into guys, I’d told my parents. They’d always been supportive of everything I’d done, so I didn’t expect me being gay to change that. How wrong I’d been! My father turned into a macho arsehole. His idea of what I should be was something that was drilled into me, somewhat painfully at times.
So the side of me that wanted to embrace being a Daddy was hidden under the macho bullshit my father expected from me. It dictated how I’d dated, going for men built similar to me so as not to appear weak, when those men were the exact opposite of what I’d wanted.
The only problem was, even after the death of my father, it was too ingrained to switch off. I’d made some stupid arse decisions because of it, and after Brody’s wake up call, I was still trying to figure out who I really was without all the pressure to be something I wasn’t.
This was supposed to be my first step.
The tension was so tight across my shoulders, I thought my trapezes muscles were going to snap at any moment. As I kept my gaze on Scott, my thoughts raced through my mind. What should I do?
My mind wanted an answer to the question. My cock, on the other hand, was impatient and chose an answer for me. I stepped into Scott’s space, towering over him. I took hold of the chin still pointing at me with firm fingers. “A Daddy would spank your bottom for acting like a brat. Is that what you’re after, Scott?”
He jerked. His whole body shuddered, his eyelids lowering to half-mast. Then he sucked his lower lip between his small white teeth.
With no chance to demand an answer, I was jerked off my feet by the sudden halting of the lift as it juddered and made an awful screeching sound. I knocked into Scott, pushing him into the mirrored wall behind him. His wail was lost under another loud clunking noise before we came to a grinding halt.
“Bloody hell! Can this day get any worse?” I scowled and complained to Scott as I shifted off him and righted us both. It was only then that I noticed how his eyes had glazed over and that the pulse at his neck was bouncing so fast it made him look like there was something wrong with his neck.
“You okay? The lift does this occasionally. It’s nothing to worry about.” I patted at his arm, only he wasn’t paying me any attention. His eyes were firmly locked on the lift door. Sweat gathered on his upper lip as he remained totally still.
A ball of panic gathered in my throat, and I swallowed. The fear on Scott’s face turned my stomach to lead. Oh shit, he was scared. Was it because of the way I’d behaved?
Uncertain how to broach the subject, I turned my attention to calling for help. I opened the small door that housed the telephone to call for assistance. When Bob the maintenance man answered, I let out a relieved breath. “Bob, lift three is bloody stuck again between floors,”—I glanced at the panel—“nine and ten.”
I listened to him waffle on about what he thought might be the problem, until I heard a sob come from the side of me. My gaze shifted from the panel to Scott. His face was stark with terror, his body shaking with uncontrollable sobs.
Fuck! Fuck!
I shut Bob up mid-sentence, “Bob, just assess what needs fixing and ring me back to advise how long I’m going to be trapped.” I was already putting the phone back before he answered.
With the phone down, I realised my mistake in using the word ‘trapped’ as Scott’s legs gave way and he fell in a heap to the floor.
The heart trying to escape my chest made my hands tremble and I dropped the bag I’d forgotten I was still holding. I reached for Scott, unsure what I should do, so I went with my first instinct. Sitting down next to him, I pulled him into my lap and held him close.
Gently rocking him, I soothed him. “Come on, sweet boy, it’s going to be alright. Shush now, you need to stop crying and listen to… me.” I stopped myself from using the word Daddy, though it sat on the tip of my tongue. As I wasn’t sure if it was my behaviour or the lift stopping that caused Scott to become a blubbering mess, I needed to tread carefully. I didn’t want to make things worse.
As if it could get any worse?
No sooner had the thought popped into my head than the phone rang. As I shifted to grab it, Scott clutched at me. His teary eyes lifted and begged me not to leave him. Something inside my chest opened and warmth flooded through me. Ah shit.
Why did I have to have feelings for him? Why?
“I’m not letting you go sweet boy, I just need to answer the phone.” With a watery sigh he released my shirt so I could stretch up and grab the phone.
“Yes, Bob?”
“Bossman, it’s not good news. The part I think I need to fix the drive shaft, I don’t have. I’ve rung our suppliers and they have one, but it’s a four-hour drive away. I’ve asked them to get a courier to bring it. But my best guess is you’re gonna be stuck in there at least six hours, maybe more if the delivery guy gets stuck in traffic.” Bob’s need to always go with the worst-case scenario, received a gasp and a loud sniffle from Scott who must have been able to hear the conversation.
Not responding to Bob, I whispered in Scott’s ear without thinking, “Don’t worry, Daddy is here. I’ll take care of you and keep you safe.”
Scott
The rollercoaster I was riding needed to fucking stop, right fucking now. I’d thought that there was nothing worse than Luke Mason stepping into the lift. I’d been wrong. First, the way he was acting was making my head spin as it tried to catch up with this new phenomenon. Then, when he’d uttered the word Daddy, my cock tried to fight its way out of my lacy underwear to show him how much it wanted a Daddy. And that was if you didn’t take into account that the lift broke.
The well of panic that I was drowning in felt so deep until I found myself held so gently and rocked against a solid wall of muscle that smelt like heaven.
Then I heard Luke say, “Don’t worry, Daddy is here. I’ll take care of you and keep you safe,” and my heart melted faster than ice in a drink on a hot summer’s day. It smothered the overwhelming panic as I struggled to cope with all the emotions racing through me. So I did what I always do when I’m overwhelmed, I hid.
Sticking my wet face against Luke’s neck, I inhaled his aftershave and let the scent block out everything. My senses swam from the masculinity of it. Nuzzling into the warm flesh, wanting to immerse myself, my body relaxed. The moment I let go the arms around me tightened and I was rewarded with a gentle kiss to the top of my head.
A flush rose up my face at how treasured I felt.
“Scott, look at me.” Though the command was spoken softly, there was an element of authority that was undeniable and I wanted to
obey.
Sucking in one last deep breath, I raised my head. Blinking the tears from my eyes, Luke’s beautiful face filled my vision and left me breathless. “Yes…” I quivered with an urge to say more. But I wasn’t sure I could, not when Luke and I had so much history.
He might be being kind to me now, but I’d been on the receiving end far too many times of his cutting words at work. The number of times he’d reduced me to tears were countless. I knew I shouldn’t let him get to me and it took several months to figure out. It upset me because underneath it, I really wanted him to like me. Daft, I know, but there was something so compelling about him, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Only I really didn’t want to get burnt.
I had a feeling that was about to change. My mind had worked out the second Luke asked what room I was booked into, that I’d somehow ended up with a date with the one person I’d least expected: Luke Mason, my nemesis from work.
“Have you figured out who you’re meeting today?” The simple inquiry held such weight, I wasn’t sure how to respond. His eyes demanded I be honest, and also threatened something if I wasn’t. The threat dried my mouth and I nodded for fear of not being able to get the words past my thick tongue.
“Good boy. Thank you for being truthful with me. The question is, do you still want to go ahead with this… date?”
Unsure why he’d hesitated, I chewed my lip between my teeth. Did I want to have this… date?
Now that I knew it was with Luke, shouldn’t that make the answer easy: no? The very idea of uttering the word no gave me palpitations.
Thoughts and worries flew out of my head as the floor beneath us jerked. My arms clung to Luke as my eyes flew to the closed door and reality came crashing down on me. “I have to get out. You need to get the door open now. I can’t stay in here. I can’t, the walls they’re closing in on me. Oh God help me,” I gasped with a strangled moan. My fingers curled tightly into Luke’s jacket, clinging on for dear life when the lift shifted again and my vision wavered with black spots.
“Scott, stop that. You are safe, look at Daddy, and breathe for me.”
Head lifting at the sharpness of Luke’s voice and the term Daddy, I sniffed up and tried to stifle the sobs in my chest, while sucking in several breaths. “I’m not sure I can… Daddy,” I warbled and did my best to try and do as he asked. But the fear gripping me wasn’t deterred by the demand.
My fear was on a mission to escape the reality we were trapped for what potentially could be for hours in this box. A box that right now, didn’t feel all that safe with the jerking movements it kept making.
“You’re not listening to Daddy. I want you to keep your eyes on mine, boy.”
When firm fingers took hold of my chin and lifted it, I realised I’d moved my gaze back to the lift door. “I’ll have to punish you if you disobey Daddy again. I asked you earlier, is that what you want, for Daddy to spank your bottom?”
A shiver rolled down my spine, only this time it was nothing to do with fear. Hell no, this was everything to do with the idea of Luke touching any part of me with his hands, of him seeing what I wore under my clothes.
My lips trembled with the urge to say “yes,” but I kept silent, waiting to see what he would do next.
“I need you to answer me, sweet boy.” His nostrils flared as his dark eyes narrowed on mine.
“I don’t know… Daddy.” It was the truth, I was undecided. My body was totally on board with where this might lead, but my head was struggling to switch from this Luke to the Luke that took pleasure from humiliating me in front of other people. Could I let go just this once and take what I wanted?
Luke’s mouth pinched before he nodded his head. “I understand your uncertainty. Our past encounters haven’t shown me in a positive light. And for you to let go and trust I won’t demean or hurt you, must be hard.” His hand rubbed gentle circles over my fist clenched in his shirt. His gaze was sincere as he spoke and he genuinely seemed to get why I’d be worried.
“I’m sorry for behaving like a dick. It was pointed out to me recently that unless I took my head out of my arse, nobody was ever going to want to be with me.”
He sighed, his eyes taking on a distant look that said he was no longer thinking about me, but of something else upsetting. A need to reassure him rose and before I could stop myself, I let go of the death grip I had on his shirt and cupped his face. “Why do you act like a knob?”
His brow rose and for a second I worried I might have crossed a line, until a gleam of humour lit his eyes. “Well put. I was acting like a knob,” he chuckled. “I had all these ideals hammered into me as a young man.” He held up his hand when I went to speak. “Let me finish, please.”
Seeing what looked like distress replace the humour, I shut my mouth and waited to hear him out.
“My father loved me, but when I came out to my parents, something changed. I can’t say he didn’t stop loving me, but I don’t think he liked me anymore. He started to drum it into me that if I was into men, then there was an expectation that they would be similar to be. Macho, larger men, that did not look in the least bit effeminate.”
He sighed and rubbed at his face before continuing. “The first time I brought home a date, he was the exact opposite of what my father wanted. Let’s just say the bruises I got after that date took weeks to heal.” The shrug he gave said it didn’t matter, but the betrayal on his face was a different matter altogether. “So after that, I started to date men more in line with what my father wanted. Not that I wanted to, it just seemed easier and I wanted him to accept me more than anything.”
His eyes misted with tears and the utter dejection in his voice caused a ball of tears to gather in my own throat. I hurt for the man who just wanted his father to accept him. For the denial of a side of him that, if it was like mine, was as fundamental as breathing.
I brought my lips to his, offering a soft kiss of support. A kiss that was only meant to show that I understood that life was sometimes harder than it needed to be. But somehow the kiss changed into something more, his mouth claiming mine. His firm lips opened, his tongue touching the seam of my lips, seeking entry.
With a moan, I opened up for him, need driving any thoughts from my head. My senses swam with his unique flavour. His tongue commandeered mine as it swept against it in a heated caress. My mouth clung to his as he deepened the kiss. I mewled into his mouth as he overwhelmed me.
Gasping for air, my chest heaved but I was reluctant to give up any part of what was happening to me. The world around me faded to nothing except the man holding me and the whirlpool of emotions rushing through my body. My cock strained against the lacy fabric of my underwear, leaking pre-cum with each sweep of his moist tongue against mine. I surrendered, unable to do anything other than hold on for the ride.
Air touched my cheeks and brought me back to my senses, I whined as Luke pulled back, gasping. “Sweet boy, give me a second or else you’re going to be naked and impaled on my cock,” he ground out through his clenched jaw.
The very idea that Luke was struggling to control himself, gave me ideas of how to cope with being trapped in a box for hours. Don’t think about the box, that’s not going to help. The wave of panic wanted to take away the heady feeling Luke’s kiss left in its wake.
I clutched at Luke’s face and implored, “Distract me, please?” I licked my lips and lowered my eyelashes, imploring him to give in to me. “Please Daddy, I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you want.”
Knowing I was playing with fire acting in this way, I couldn’t find it in me to care, when I knew that hours trapped in a box doing nothing would make me go out of my mind.
“Are you trying to manipulate… Daddy?” I squirmed and let go of his face, only to find my hands captured. “Answer me. I need you to talk to me so I don’t misinterpret what is going on.” The break from domineering Daddy pulled me back to my senses.
This was only a game, a hook-up from an app. I needed to remember that, whatever th
e feelings swimming around inside me were, they were mine, and mine alone.
My pulse danced at what I was about to suggest, but I was in too deep and I didn’t want to stop now. “I thought we could keep our date…see how things go, and then maybe if we liked it, we could do it again?” I rushed to speak, needing to get it out without him realising how much I wanted this to extend past one date.
I knew it was ridiculous, but having been shown a glimpse into Luke’s past, it kind of explained why I might have been drawn to him, even when he’d not been nice to me. His fight against the integral part of who he was, was not something I’d wish on anyone. My own battle with what I liked wasn’t nearly as long and it was only against myself. I couldn’t imagine what Luke had dealt with in his past, but I wanted to give him the opportunity to experience what it was like to embrace his inner Daddy.
You’re not going to reap the rewards? Oh shut up.
I waited for Luke to answer, ignoring my snarky inner self pointing out the obvious. The seconds felt like an eternity before he responded and the air burst out of my lungs.
“Yes. I’d like to keep our date and see if there could be more between us.”
Luke
The worry I’m sure Scott wasn’t aware he was projecting, slammed into me. He really wanted to continue with the date. With my chest heaving, I attempted to keep my shock to myself, or I prayed I was. My hands wanted to tremble and I did my best to keep them still. Scott’s level of vulnerability was doing a number on me, and I could freely admit that all the times I’d been awful to him were about the fact I wanted him. It felt as if the months of yearning I’d secretly done were about to become a thing of the past.
He was offering me the opportunity to fulfil some of my dreams and I was desperate to get started. Then his face scrunched up and he jerked as if he’d been hit by something.
“Shit, your boyfriend.” He scrambled to get off my lap and stood on unsteady legs. His finger jabbing in my face, “I don’t do cheaters. Shit, how had I forgotten about Brody? Fuck!” He yanked at his hair, his top riding up and flashing a tiny piece of black lace.
