by Avery Duran
He walked back behind his desk and assessed me as though he were making up his mind about how this was going to go. Based on what a smart-ass I was the last time we met, I couldn’t blame him. He ran his manicured hands over his face and took a deep breath as if gearing up for battle. “Okay. Let’s go over the details.”
Somehow, I was able to spend the better part of an hour focusing on the task at hand. Of course, the only way I could manage to do that was to avoid eye contact and minimize speech. He took time explaining everything, and I appreciated his attention to detail and patience. He obviously understood this was not an easy decision for my family.
My mother and grandmother had decided the best course of action was to make the business a trust, which would own the company holdings, but Reese and I would be the beneficiaries. It got a little complicated and emotional when he started talking about how things would be handled when either my mother or grandmother passed, but clearly a lot of thought had gone into this plan, with the goal to protect the business so my brother and I could continue the family legacy. I was glad Hershey had not joined me—this discussion would have devastated him.
In trying to avoid Gideon’s mesmerizing blue eyes, I found something, or two somethings actually, even more enthralling…his hands. Big and strong, he could easily hold both of my wrists in one of them. His fingers were long and tapered with beautiful smooth skin. They were always moving—clicking the top of a pen, tapping the table, gesturing as he made a point. I envisioned those graceful digits running up my legs, my hips, my cock. I could only imagine how his fingertips would feel exploring my body. I felt myself hardening in my pants, and I knew I had to get out soon.
“Reese?”
I started when I realized he was talking to me—so lost in my fantasy of the man, I was oblivious to the real thing.
He stood and moved closer to me, sitting in the companion chair next to mine, leaning closer as if to comfort me. I don’t know what body wash he used, but the scent was intoxicating and it was not helping with the problem in my slacks. I shifted in my seat and hoped he didn’t catch a glimpse of my growing predicament, or worse for my quandary, actually touch me.
“Reese, we need to meet again and your brother has to be a part of that conversation. Will it be a problem?”
“No…I mean, he’s uncomfortable with this whole idea, but he understands why it has to be done. My father’s death, it just really messed with his head. If my mother so much as gets a cold, he freaks out.”
Gideon nodded sympathetically, “It’s not unusual for someone to feel that way. In this line of work, I see it a lot. But what about your feelings? This can’t be easy for you, either.”
“Of course it isn’t. But this is my role.” I gave a half laugh.
Gideon appraised me; it seemed as if he could see through all my bullshit and understood what I wasn’t saying. “You are allowed to get upset. Just because you’re a twin, that doesn’t mean that you’re required to fill a specific role for the rest of your life.” He leaned forward and put his hand on the armrest of my chair. “You may be two halves of a whole, but like a yin-yang, there is a little of each of you in the other half. Let your brother give you what you need.”
I fidgeted in my seat, uncomfortable with the discussion. I had never said a word, not to my parents or to my brother about how I felt. Most of the time I was happy to be the rational sibling. But every once in a while, I wanted to be the one who could run away from the tough stuff and bury my head in the sand. I wasn’t creative like Hershey, but I was just as sensitive. Still, somehow, I always ended up with the jobs he felt he couldn’t do, be it dealing with estate stuff, correcting billing problems, or even wearing a cupid outfit in public. It didn’t take a psychologist to figure out why I liked giving up control in bed!
“You can’t understand,” I responded sharply. “I love my brother very much. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
He straightened up, sitting back in his chair, putting an invisible wall between us. I got the feeling the side Gideon had just shown me was not one he shared with many people. The professional Gideon was back in charge—even his speech was more formal. “Of course. So, you will arrange for the other Mr. Thornton to meet with us when it’s necessary?”
“Yes, of course,” I replied. “He’ll come, even if I have to drag him.”
Gideon smirked. “Is that how you get your way? Brute force?”
For the first time since I arrived, I stared him dead in the eyes. “No, that’s only with my brother. Trust me; there is no shortage of men willing to take me. If I decide to go, I definitely come willingly.”
Gideon huffed out a breath and his nostrils flared.
Of course, I couldn’t leave well enough alone, and off went my smart mouth. “So, what’s the deal with the cat?”
His eyebrow quirked up. “What are you talking about?”
As the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was screwing myself—and not in a good way. When I’m nervous, I get really dumb. “Your cat. Why would you walk your cat in the park?” He inhaled sharply and drew his eyebrows together. A normal person would have taken his reaction as a sign to stop talking, but not me. I just kept on going. “I mean, is it like your baby or something?” I knew I sounded condescending and obnoxious. God, I am such an asshole.
He rose and stood over me. His body was stiff, hands clenched, and jaw ticking. “What exactly is your problem? Are you trying to be insulting?” He pointed toward the door. “If you want to use a different lawyer, you are free to go.”
I knew I was being a dick, and it was going to piss off my mother big time when she found out about it. It’s not like I could tell her I had the hots for the lawyer and lost grip of my sanity. Preoccupied with my thoughts, I started chewing on my lower lip as I stood. His eyes dropped to my mouth; he lifted his hand and gently pulled my lip out from between my teeth with his thumb. Without even thinking about it, I parted my lips and drew the thick appendage into my mouth.
He gasped but didn’t pull away. My whole body tingled as I sucked his finger. I swirled my tongue around the silky skin; he groaned and stepped closer. When he moved in, our height discrepancy caused me to have to tilt my head up to see his face. He slowly drew his thumb from my mouth and gently ran the wet digit across my lips. Without warning, he brought his arms down, grabbed a hold of my ass, and lifted me onto the edge of the desk. Once I was seated, he stepped into the V of my legs, spreading his legs slightly so our torsos were aligned, tilted my face up, and put his mouth on mine. His lips were soft, but his kiss sure wasn’t—it was teeth and tongue and so fucking hot. I responded with equal passion, our every breath shared.
His hands tangled into my hair, holding us close together. I needed more—more pressure, more of him. I pulled my legs up around his waist, grinding my hardness against his. As we writhed together, he groaned against my mouth, ran his hands down my back, and pulled me tighter into his body, pressing our chests together. I could feel his accelerated heartbeat echoing my own. His kisses were addictive; every time he pulled away, I chased his mouth with mine. He held on to me, grinding against me, and I felt so alive—like there were electrical charges running along my body wherever we touched. I was lost in the feeling of his hot, hard body—pressing solidly against me—when suddenly I felt the shock of cool air against my skin. I opened my eyes to find him standing a few feet away from me, breathing heavily, hair mussed, clothing rumpled, and his beautiful creamy skin flushed from our kiss. “Sorry about that, it was quite unprofessional, I didn’t mean to—”
He was sorry? I pretty much turned off my listening ears after that sentence. I pushed myself off the desk, gathered my belongings, and tried to will my erection away.
As I moved toward the doorway, he grabbed my arm, “Wait, can we talk? I just want to explain.…”
I pulled my arm away from him. “No explanations necessary; I accept your apology. Let me know when my brother and I need to return.” I walked out of his office, waved to
his receptionist, and rang for the elevator. As the doors closed behind me, I caught a glimpse of him standing by the desk, no longer mussed, professional persona firmly back in place. One glance in the mirrored elevator showed that was not at all the case for me—I looked thoroughly fucked.
Lost in thought, I drove home on auto-pilot. I went straight up to my apartment, tossed my briefcase on the floor, and flopped on the couch. I didn’t know who I was more pissed at—Gideon or myself. As chaotic as my mind was, it was no surprise to hear the knock on my door. I got up to let Hershey in. He took one look at me, sighed, and shook his head from side to side. “What did you do this time, brother mine?” he asked.
I sat back down and buried my face in the couch pillows. “Oops, I did it again.”
I felt him sit down on the couch beside me. “Ruh-roh, you’re responding in Britney lyrics. This is getting bad. At least we haven’t degenerated into show tunes yet.”
I kept my face in the pillow as I responded, “There Are Worse Things I Could Do.”
My brother put his hand on my shoulder and said, “C’mon Reese, it can’t be that bad; tell me what happened.”
I told Hershey almost everything. The park, my big mouth, the office, his hands, that kiss—and of course—his rejection. I left out the conversation about being a twin; somehow, I’d felt the most exposed after that exchange. It was a truth I hadn’t even shared with Hershey, and how Gideon had picked up on it was beyond me. I waited for Hershey’s sympathy and hoped he’d back me up when we had to go tell our mother and grandmother I kissed their lawyer. I should have known better.
When I finished my monologue, he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “So, let’s recap. You found a hot guy, were obnoxious to him, got another chance but failed to explain that when you get nervous you act like an asshole so everything you say should be ignored. Instead, you got even more insufferable. He obviously finds you attractive enough to disregard the fact that you are a total dick, and you two have the potential for some sexy times.”
“Oh please,” I huffed. “Don’t say sexy times. You sound ridiculous.”
“That is all you got from what I said? That you don’t like the term sexy times? Did you interrupt him the way you did me or did you let him explain before you stormed off?”
I hate when Hershey has a point. “He apologized,” I whined. “He said he was sorry for kissing me!”
“Did he apologize for kissing you, or for kissing you in a work environment? Does he want to see you again in a more appropriate venue? What exactly did he apologize for?” I groaned and buried my head back in the pillow.
“I don’t know,” I muttered. “I kinda ran away. This guy brings out the worst in me.”
He sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Well, just answer one question for me.”
I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like this. “What?”
“Do you have chills? Are they multiplying?”
My twin is a jackass—I guess that’s another thing we have in common.
I SPENT THE NEXT FEW days moping about Gideon, thinking about Gideon, jerking off thinking about Gideon, and moping about Gideon some more. Clearly, my feelings for this guy were pretty strong—especially considering I’d only known him a short time. Was it just a matter of wanting what I couldn’t have, or could this be something real?
“Ow!” I jumped around to see what just hit me in the back of the head. My asshole brother was laughing in the doorway, a blue stress ball emblazoned with the name of a local bank on the floor. I had been engrossed in updating a spreadsheet, my earbuds in and music turned way up.
I rubbed my head. “What the fuck was that for?”
“I wanted to get your attention.”
“Well, you got it.” I shot him an irritated glare. “What was so important you had to interrupt my work? I don’t dare stop your creative flow.”
“This isn’t about work. You’ve been nasty for days—even Bubbie noticed and she usually thinks you are a perfect angel. All you do is work and snipe at us. I know you’re upset about Gideon—”
“It’s not about Gideon,” I interrupted. “I’m just busy.”
“This is totally about Gideon. You barely know the guy, and you’re obsessing. Seriously, R, you need to shit or get off the pot.”
Exasperated, I ran my fingers through my hair. “It was nothing, and it’s over anyway. He didn’t call Mom to cancel, so I’ll wait until we need to meet with him again and act like nothing happened. No biggie.”
Hershey raised an eyebrow—he knew I was full of crap, but there was no way I was going to admit it to him. “So why don’t you open your Grindr app and get laid? That should make you a little less of a dick to be around.”
“What, so I can end up with one of your exes again? You know I can’t use it anymore.” It had happened more than once. Being gay, women didn’t do it for me at all. Hershey was bi, so on occasion, a woman mistook me for him when out at a club; this had led to more than one awkward encounter. It was also how I had my first—and only—straight kiss. Not counting Amanda Corgan during a game of spin the bottle in sixth grade.
Add electronic same-sex hookups to the mix, and it gets worse. We don’t share, ever. But twincest is actually a thing. Not our thing, but it’s a thing nonetheless. When we go out together, we get propositioned all the time. It’s easy to get out of it when meeting someone face-to-face, but when one of his past hookups figured out I was on Grindr, that caused trouble. Needless to say, I deleted the app. Hershey figured that effectively eliminated any possibility of double dipping, so he continued to Grind away.
I twirled my chair around to face my computer. “I’m fine Hersh, just go and tell them you talked to me.” I popped my earbuds back in and tried to get lost in the numbers again. I could still feel him staring at the back of my head. He wasn’t giving up that easily.
He came up beside me, squatted down to my eye level, and took out one of my earbuds. “Please, R, this isn’t you. I don’t get why you’re so worked up, but you’ve got to do something about it.” He rose and tugged on my hand so I would follow. “Come for a walk with me?”
I pointed to the computer, “I really shouldn’t…”
He gave me the puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
I sighed. “Fine, but you have to change before we leave—and I’m wearing the black jacket.” He laughed. After all, we were both wearing blue jeans, striped Henleys, and Converse sneakers. If we wore our black puffy coats, we would be dressed identically.
“I’ll wear my blue coat, but nobody can see our shirts, so changing isn’t worth it.” He started for the door. “Meet you in five.”
Bundled up in non-matching jackets, knit caps, and gloves, we braved the cold wind blowing off the bay. We didn’t speak, just walked side by side, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
I wanted another chance with Gideon, but he probably thought I was insane. I’d certainly acted like a moron. We only met the two times, neither of which showcased me at my best. Who even knew if he was interested in me?
Besides, maybe he was a total dick. I knew what I liked about him—his build, his calm control, the way he was able to read me—those things all turned my crank, big time. I’d never met anyone like him. But I didn’t know what made him tick, and that bothered me. I wanted to learn so much more than how he kissed. His likes and dislikes, favorite sports teams, I even wondered how he took his coffee. But what if he’d written me off? I mean I’d picked on his cat, made fun of him, and basically jumped his bones at his workplace. Actually, I must have seemed like a total dick—a slutty one, at that.
I still needed to work with him; there was no way I was telling my grandmother I made a fool of myself in front of her friend’s grandson. I’d never hear the end of it. One way or another, I needed to figure out a way to fix this.
Lost in my thoughts, I had to grab on to my brother to stay upright when bumped from behind. An adorable little girl with long blonde braids was pus
hing a cat in the bright red stroller which had hit my leg. A beautiful woman, well put together, with perfectly styled blonde hair walked beside the girl.
Dressed in a long coat, leather gloves, and high brown boots, the woman put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I apologize for my daughter. She was walking ahead of me, and didn’t mean to hit you.” She tapped her daughter on the shoulder. “Kate, apologize to the men.”
Kate’s eyes strayed away from our faces when she spoke to us, but she did as she was asked. “I’m sorry, it was an accident.”
“It’s okay.” I smiled at her mother. Hershey did the same.
“No harm done,” he said.
I kneeled in front of the stroller, peering through the mesh screen to find a black and white tuxedo cat staring back at me suspiciously. Curled into a ball on a blanket, it didn’t bother to shift positions, even as it gave me the evil eye. “You have a pretty cat, Kate. What’s its name?”
Kate regarded us, still not making eye contact, but I could see her clear, blue eyes and the unique shade was very familiar—too familiar. A shiver ran up my spine.
“His name is Mr. Kitty,” she replied and she bent to check on him. One of her long braids fell over her shoulder and she started to toy with the ribbon at the end.
“Thanks for your patience,” Kate’s mother responded. She attempted to resume her walk, but I had to ask.
“Excuse me?” She paused. “Was your husband walking the cat a few days ago?” I hadn’t even considered this possibility.
Still watching the cat, Kate answered for her mother, “My daddy’s dead. Uncle Gideon took him for a walk, though. I had to go to the doctor and it is very important that Mr. Kitty goes for a walk by the water at three-thirty every day, unless it is raining or snowing. I take him after school.”
Me and my big mouth. “I am so sorry for your loss. I saw Gideon walking the cat and I assumed it was his.”
“How do you know Gideon?” she queried.
I pushed my hair behind my ears. “I met him here, actually. He’s also doing some legal work for me.”
