by M. S. Parker
“Am I?” She put the pizza down and got up, moving to the fridge. “I think I’ll have some wine.”
She didn’t bother offering me any. She knew I wouldn’t accept, and I wondered if I’d somehow managed to upset her.
But she didn’t seem…upset. Just distracted, like she had something heavy on her mind.
I wished I had the right to push, to get her to talk to me.
But that wasn’t really my place.
22
Mila
I got the call halfway through my second session of the day. It was Tuesday, the one day during the week where I stayed later in the evening if my clients required.
I had a couple set to come in at five, so that would be three total clients for the day. My practice was still small, and some days were much slower than this one.
Ignoring the vibrating phone, I focused on the older couple in front of me.
“So…you had an assignment this past week. How did it go?”
Thirty minutes later, their session complete, I escorted the Millers to the door and smiled at them. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
As I turned to face Liam, I pulled my phone from my jacket pocket to see who had called.
“I got a text from your service,” Liam said, moving over to stand in front of me. He slid a hand around my neck and tugged me in closer.
The last appointment had gotten started later than normal, and I checked the clock over his shoulder. “There’s still one client left on my schedule,” I said as he went to kiss me.
“That was the call. She canceled.”
That must have been who had been calling earlier, and I glanced at my phone, pulling up the list of calls. It had been my client. My phone had two lines on it, my personal and my professional and all my business calls were set to roll over if I didn’t answer on the first three rings.
“Well.” I licked my lips as Liam’s mouth neared mine. “I guess that leaves a lot of empty time in the schedule today, doesn’t it?”
“Hmmm…” was the only response he made as he pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth.
I could really get addicted to his kisses. He kissed like he did everything else, with wholehearted dedication. Being the one who was on the receiving end of those kisses, I appreciated his dedication to the craft.
“It seems to me that you already have a good idea on how to while away some time, Liam,” I teased as he slid his mouth along the line of my jaw down to the sensitive area of my neck. I gasped as he raked the skin with his teeth.
One hand slid under my suit jacket and the feel of his fingers, even through my blouse, had me shivering in anticipation.
I eased away from him and kicked out of my shoes, backing away from him. “Come here,” I said, crooking my finger at him. I ended up with my butt up against the small table tucked up against one wall, which was exactly where I’d planned to end up.
Liam boosted me up onto the table, nimble fingers pushing my skirt up. He slid his hand between my thighs, eliciting another gasp and shiver from me. He really, really was good at this.
As he began to stroke me through my panties, I reached up and tugged on his necktie. “Let’s lose this,” I said.
“I’m busy,” he told me, nibbling along my shoulder.
And he was. He’d hooked his fingers inside the lacy waistband of my panties and was currently working them down.
I wiggled to help accommodate him.
But then we both froze at the sound of a familiar, faint clicking noise.
The door to my office had just been opened.
“What the hell is this?”
I jolted at the sound of my father’s voice while Liam hurriedly withdrew his hands from under my skirt. I wiggled until I could pull my panties back up, Liam standing in front of me like a shield.
There was a look in his eyes that made me want to stroke his cheek, but before I had a chance, he turned around, facing Christopher Golding – his employer.
“I hired you to protect her, not screw her,” my father raged. He had his personal bodyguards with him, two men that stood at silent attention in the doorway. “Is this how you think you’re supposed to protect my daughter?”
I cut in between them – or tried. Liam wouldn’t let me shelter him, I knew it. He had his hand on my shoulder, fingers squeezing lightly. The silent request only angered me more, because I couldn’t not acquiesce. I had a hard time resisting him anything, and as he stood there facing my father, something inside my chest wobbled a little.
“Dad,” I said, trying to draw his attention toward me.
It didn’t work.
He kept his gaze focused on Liam. “I want you out of here,” he said, pointing to the door.
That did it. “You don’t get to decide who is in my office, Dad,” I snapped.
He ignored me, looking at the two men who accompanied him. “Get this pitiful excuse out of here,” he said, a sneer on his face.
“Liam…”
He glanced at me, shaking his head.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I didn’t want him leaving like this.
He stepped toward the bodyguards, and I knew he had every intention of just walking out.
One of the bodyguards accompanied him while the other stayed where he was, his face implacable.
Whirling on my father, I glared at him. “You had no right.”
He glared at me. “I’m your father!” he snapped.
Fury fueled my words. “And I’m an adult. I can sleep with whoever I want – and I want Liam!”
“You might be able to do what you want, but you will not be sleeping with somebody I’m paying to keep you safe,” he fired back. “He’s not your bodyguard anymore. I’ll leave one of my men with you until I can get somebody more qualified in here–”
“Oh, no.” I held up my hands. “I’m not putting up with any more bodyguards.”
“Mila–”
“No!” I stomped my foot for emphasis. “This is my life. I’ve had to put up with bullshit because of the way you choose to run your businesses, but I’m not doing it anymore.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I jutted my chin toward the door. “Now please leave.”
23
Liam
Nearly two hours had passed since I’d left Mila’s.
I’d taken the subway to the small apartment I’d gotten just a few days earlier, and now as I sat on the murphy bed that had come with the place, I wanted to kick my own ass.
I should have known better.
I did know better.
And yet I’d still slept with Mila.
Mila…I closed my eyes, thinking about the way she’d looked before I walked away. Fury and embarrassment had lit her eyes. Part of me wished I’d stayed with her as she faced her father. She shouldn’t have been alone.
But I was the reason she was in this mess to begin with.
How was she?
I glanced at the phone, but before the idea to call her could fully form, I cut it off.
I’d caused enough trouble, and besides, I had no doubt the quiet phone would start ringing sometime soon. I’d hate to be on the phone with my lover when my boss called to tell me I was fired. That wouldn’t be very professional.
I knew I would get a call, sooner or later, from my boss.
I was fired.
I had to be.
I deserved to be.
Even though I couldn’t find it in me to regret the time I’d spent with Mila, I’d known it was wrong.
I’d end up losing my job, and without a job, I couldn’t afford even this small square of space I’d ended up renting.
I knew Jake would let me move back in, but I didn’t know if I wanted to do that. Maybe I just didn’t belong in New York. Maybe I should go back to Texas. I could figure out something to do with myself there. I was at loose ends now, and how likely was I going to be able to find a job considering how bad I’d screwed up the one I was about to lose?
Getting up, I
started to pace the small space. I still wore the suit I wore when I went to Mila’s that morning. I’d all but torn the necktie off earlier, but now it felt like the suit itself was strangling me. I tore off the coat and threw it on my bed, then jerked at buttons on my shirt until I had it open.
A knock on the door had me going still. In the middle of the floor, I stared at the door, wondering who in the hell it could be. The options were limited. Jake and Michelle knew where I lived. My employer had been given the updated address.
Shit, knowing my luck, it was my employer.
I looked down at myself and decided since I was getting ready to get fired, it didn’t matter if I looked like a bum.
I stormed to the door but kept myself from jerking it open. I’d been the one to screw up. I was going to suck this up and take it like a man.
That resolve lasted for all of two seconds because I opened the door to find, not my boss, but Mila.
I blinked at the sight of her.
She took a step toward me, her hand outstretched.
I stayed where I was.
“What are you doing here?”
“I…well, I’m here to see you,” she said, her smile uncertain. “About earlier–”
“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “You should go. My boss is bound to be calling me soon to let me know I’m fired.”
Mila’s eyes narrowed. “I came to see you.”
“So you said.” Bracing one arm on the door near my head, I kept my body in the doorway. “But you should go.”
“You’re just going to push me away?” she demanded, shoving her hair back from her face.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. What I wanted to do was pull her up against me, kiss her, hold her. I wanted her in my bed underneath me.
But listening to what I wanted was what landed me here.
“Just go, Mila,” I said, shaking my head.
I pushed away from the doorway and slowly shut the door. She stared at me through the narrowing space until it completely closed. Then I leaned my head against the wood, wondering if she stood out there still.
It was early yet, not quite five, but I needed a drink. Moving to the small fridge that had come with the apartment, I pulled it open and grabbed a beer. Before I could take the first drink, though, the phone rang.
I eyed it narrowly as I approached the table.
I already knew who it was.
I let it ring a second time before picking it up.
“Hello,” I said, keeping my voice neutral.
On the other end of the line, Steve said, “Kid, I’ve got to tell you, I was having a shitty day to begin with. You did not make it any better.”
I closed my eyes.
“You got anything to say for yourself?” he asked when I remained silent.
“What exactly should I say? I screwed up.”
Steve barked out a laugh. “You screwed up?” he echoed, his voice incredulous. “You’ve been fucking the woman you were hired to protect. I did make myself clear about that sort of thing, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
“I guess I didn’t make it clear enough because Christopher Golding, one of our best clients, was just in here and he ripped me a new asshole. He found you groping his daughter.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I wracked my brain to come up with something to say that might make this better, but there was nothing.
“Did he get the situation wrong?” Steve asked, an edge in his voice.
“I wouldn’t say I was groping,” I told him, some of my own temper snapping into my voice. “That makes it sound one-sided, and it most definitely wasn’t.”
“That doesn’t make it any better,” he snapped.
“I know that!” Frustration chewed at me, and I lashed it down. Taking a deep breath, I said, “I know that. Like I said, I screwed up.”
“And you screwed us in the bargain. You realize your actions reflect on me, on my company, on the rest of the men and women I employ.” Silence fell then, and after a few seconds of it, Steve sighed. “I’m going to have to let you go, kid.”
“I figured as much.”
There was nothing else left to say so Steve ended the call, and I went back to my bed and sat down, staring at absolutely nothing.
24
Mila
Liam had mentioned offhandedly that he’d moved a few days earlier, and that was when I’d asked him where he lived.
If he hadn’t mentioned the move, I’d have no idea where to find him, because it had never come up before.
Thankful for small favors, I climbed out of the cab and started up the steps.
He hadn’t told me his apartment number, but if I had to, I’d knock on all of the doors.
“Looking for somebody, miss?”
I glanced at the man who’d just opened the door.
“Ah, yes.”
I was in luck. The man had been there when Liam moved in, and he agreed to tell me where to find him.
As I walked down the hallway, I smoothed my hands down the sides of my skirt. I was nervous. Liam had that effect on me.
With my emotions still raging high, it was little wonder that my hand shook slightly as I knocked on the door.
Long, long moments passed – it felt like an eternity – before Liam opened the door. He filled it, standing with his shirt hanging open over an undershirt.
He gave me a look out of dead eyes, and my heart twisted a little.
“Liam…” I took a step toward him, my hand out.
He just stared back at me.
After a silence that lasted too long, he asked stiffly, “What are you doing here?”
I gaped at him. What did he think I was doing here?
But the hard lines of his face didn’t soften as he stared at me. The mask he’d worn those first few days was securely back in place.
I felt even more uncertain now, but I wasn’t about to back away. “I…well, I’m here to see you.” He just continued to stare at me with those flat, lifeless eyes. Okay… “About earlier…”
“Don’t,” Liam said with a shake of his head. He glanced past me down the empty hallway. “You should go. My boss is bound to be calling me soon to let me know I’m fired.”
That was one thing I hadn’t let myself think about too much, but after he delivered the words in such a stark voice, the guilt and misery I felt only multiplied. Still, how was him pushing me out going to help?
“I came to see you.” I hadn’t come down here to have him turn me away.
“So you said.” He leaned against the door frame. “But you should go.”
My hands itched to reach out and grab him, to eliminate the distance between us. No flicker of emotion showed on his impassive face, and I felt anger rise inside me. “You’re just going to push me away?”
Something in his eyes softened, and for a moment, I thought he might relent. But after a few seconds, he gave me another slow shake of his head. Softly, he said, “Just go, Mila.”
Liam stared at me as he closed the door.
For a few seconds, I could do nothing but stand there, confused, shocked…hurt.
I lifted my hand, ready to bang on the door and demand he talk to me.
But the hurt won out, and I turned from the door.
Liam had pushed me away.
I fought with the hurt and the anger on the cab ride home, staring outside at the cars and buildings we passed without really seeing them.
Because this sort of hurt was unfamiliar to me, I buried and focused on the anger. It was much better to feel anger than hurt anyway.
The therapist in me recognized that this wasn’t a healthy way to deal, but I didn’t really care about dealing with any of this in a healthy way. Besides, it felt good to be angry.
I was angry.
No, angry didn’t touch it.
I was furious with my father.
Ignoring how things are with Liam isn’t going to make it any better, that annoying voice said.
&n
bsp; Try as I might, I couldn’t completely block out how sick I felt at the way things had gone with Liam.
He’d lose his job.
The logical part of my brain insisted that it wasn’t a surprise that this had happened.
Well, my dad arriving the way he had couldn’t have been planned. That couldn’t have been planned at all.
But Liam had been decidedly careful not to engage in any sort of physical contact with me outside the privacy of either my home or my office. And this was why.
He’d known this could happen.
I hadn’t ever really considered it, and I should have.
If we’d kept ourselves under control until we’d gotten to my home...
“Or we could have locked the door,” I muttered.
We’d both screwed up.
But Liam would lose his job.
I wanted to go back to his place, try again. But he’d pushed me away.
The jerk.
I sniffed and told myself I wasn’t hurt. He was just upset. It was understandable that he needed some time to himself, to think, to deal. Right? Being upset was normal.
Hell, I was upset.
I hadn’t gone and pushed him away though.
My mind swung between hurt and anger the entire trip home, and by the time the cab pulled up in front of my place, I had a headache so intense, I felt half sick.
After paying the fare, I climbed out, arms crossed over my middle. There was an ache deep inside, one that felt like it might not go away for a long, long time.
I let myself into the apartment and took a slow look around. Liam had been here this morning when I left. He was supposed to come back here with me.
Now I had to wonder if whatever we had was over.
And just like that, anger spiraled back up inside me.
“Damn you, Dad,” I said under my breath.
Stalking into the living room, I threw myself down on the couch and crossed my arms over my chest, staring up at the ceiling with eyes that burned.
I was pissed off, and I felt hopeless.
Dad had interfered with my life before, but this time…for some reason, this time, it felt worse.
