A lot of the time, I hadn’t actually been vulnerable with them. But I could play the part. It was the reason I’d become an actress – because I already knew I was good at pretending.
Back then, of course, the roles were well-defined. The lies straightforward. Yes, I’m twenty-one. Yes, you’re my first. Yes, it feels good.
Now the lies were ones of omission and that made things trickier. Instead of being clear-cut, everything became half-truth. It meant walking around in grays. It meant I had to screen my life and filter out what I would and wouldn’t say, all the while praying that I came off as an open book.
At least the dividing line was unambiguous. I could tell Reeve that my childhood was average but I wouldn’t tell him that, at seventeen, I met the friend who would finally get me out of my average life. I’d tell him I’d dated rich men, not that I’d spent several years as what some would call a glorified prostitute. I’d tell him I was at his resort to relax, not that I’d come to try to find the one person I’d been so determined to leave behind.
The dividing line was Amber. I’d answer Reeve’s questions, but I’d leave out anything that had to do with her. Eventually, I hoped he’d tell me everything that had to do with her.
CHAPTER 3
“Are you still close to her?”
I looked up from my meal, panic rising in my chest. Reeve couldn’t be asking about Amber. He had to mean someone else. I quickly replayed in my head everything I’d said in the last few minutes, trying to find a “her” that I’d mentioned. “You mean my mother.”
He nodded and I let out a silent breath of relief.
“No, not really. She still lives in Bakersfield and I’m in West Hollywood. I visit when I can. The rest of the time I pay for someone to take care of her.”
“That’s no substitute for daughterly love.”
His judgment irked me. “And the shell of a human she’s always been isn’t a substitute for a mother.” I immediately regretted the sharpness of my words. They were counterproductive and really, he hadn’t said anything I hadn’t thought myself on a million guilt-laden occasions. Besides, it shouldn’t matter what he thought of me.
It shouldn’t matter and yet I found myself needing to explain. “She doesn’t even know me most of the time now. Alcohol-induced dementia. Possibly undiagnosed schizophrenia. The specialist I took her to said it’s hard to be certain and there’s not a lot to be done at this point. I visited her last week, on Christmas. Took her out for Chinese. Halfway through dinner she accused me of trying to poison her. She’d forgotten who I was. Said she’d never seen me before in her life. Got belligerent. Combative. The restaurant owner called the police.”
My jaw clenched remembering how much it had upset me. “It wasn’t the first time she’s been that way with me, and I should have expected it. Just… when I’d seen her last, at Thanksgiving, she’d been good.”
She’d greeted me that day with bright eyes and a tight hug. I’d been the first to let go for once. Then she’d remembered the voice message on her machine. “From Amber, honey. I’ve been saving it for you.”
I’d thought she was confused, but I had humored her and listened to the message. And there was her voice. Amber’s voice. Then it was as if only hours had passed since I’d seen her instead of years and every feeling, every memory was alive and present within me. I’d spent the rest of the day consumed with Amber. Missing Amber. Wondering about Amber.
I realized now that that day may have been the last I’d ever see my mother well. And I’d spent it thinking of Amber.
Suddenly my throat felt tight and my eyes wet. I didn’t get upset easily, but I’d been edgy and emotional for weeks. There were only two women I’d ever loved, and both of them were lost to me in such different ways. My mother was gone for good. But Amber I might still be able to find.
Reeve shifted in his chair, reminding me of my surroundings. I peered out over the valley and attempted to compose myself. Damn, how had I managed to get so worked up? Well, thinking of Amber had caused me to look vulnerable. I silently thanked her.
When I turned back, I offered a shaky smile. “Anyway. She’d been better. And I guess I forgot that wasn’t who she was most of the time.”
“That sounds terrible.” His tone was sincere and tender. “I’m sure you’re doing the best that you can with her. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” Even after knowing him for only five minutes, I was positive this was the closest the man came to an apology.
It moved me.
I nodded, afraid to say anything else.
Reeve pushed his plate out of the way and stood. I hadn’t eaten much but was more than happy to stop. I stood as well, following him to the stone bench near the fire pit. We could sit right next to each other here, but I left a space between us when I sat, not sure if closer was necessary. It was completely dark now except for the few lights that hung around the patio and the blaze from the pit. The ambiance was beautiful, romantic even. Maybe a little eerie as well, but strangely, I was finally feeling at ease.
I pretended to be lost in watching the flames flicker and spurt until the waiters finished clearing our dinner plates. When they were gone again, I turned the tables on Reeve. “What about you? Were you close to your parents before they died?”
He hesitated, and I wondered if his reluctance was because of the subject matter or because he didn’t like to be in the hot seat. Finally he answered, “Yes. I was.”
“You were sixteen, right?”
“Looks like I’m not the only one who knows how to Google.”
I avoided the comment. “So you were a kid, basically, with a huge empire. That must have been overwhelming.”
He pinned me with his eyes. “Emily, I’m not someone who is easily overwhelmed.”
It was a warning. Yet I ignored it. “Even as a teenager? You don’t have to fake bravado for me. I’m impressed whether you were strong and stoic or sad and over-your-head.”
He held the silence for a moment then let out a sigh. “I was a little bit of all of it. But I’d been trained for the hotels. My father was a lot older than my mother and was a workaholic. He had already had one heart attack. I knew this would be my future, sooner rather than later. And it helped that I didn’t inherit everything right away. The board ran the company until I was twenty-one.”
“What did you do with the time in between?” These answers weren’t ones I needed. I’d asked mostly because I wanted him to feel comfortable telling me things. But also because I was shockingly genuinely interested.
“Lived with my grandparents in Greece.” He noticed my surprise. “I’m guessing your Internet searching didn’t tell you that.”
I shook my head.
“It’s not widely known. My mother’s family is… well, complicated. So I don’t speak about them often because the media will undoubtedly twist it and make of it what they will. And frankly, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but my own.” He paused and I thought he might not say any more on the subject, including me in the people whose business it wasn’t.
He surprised me. “I lived there until I was eighteen and then came back to the States for college.”
“Stanford, right?” I waited for him to nod. “And your grandparents – are you close to them?”
“Nope. My grandfather died a few years back. And I haven’t seen my grandmother since I left. Though I do send her a card every year on her birthday.”
“A thin piece of mail is no substitute for a grandson’s love,” I teased, or challenged, rather.
Reeve glared, but a smirk played on his lips. “No, it’s not. But since her parting words to me were, ‘If you leave, don’t ever come back,’ I feel like a card is more than expected. Or deserved.”
I took that in. “It sounds like there’s more of a story there.”
“There is.” He stood and moved to lean on the concrete edging of the pit, facing me. “But I’m not willing to tell it.”
I sat back on my hands and studied him.
I wondered if under different circumstances he would be the kind of guy I could like. The kind that I could truly care for. The kind of guy that would destroy me.
More importantly, was he the kind of guy Amber could like? Or had he really been just another one of her sugar daddies? And if so, what exactly had Reeve gotten out of the exchange?
“What are you thinking?”
I didn’t even blink. “That you certainly know how to be intriguing. I’m guessing you’re also intriguing in fluent Greek.”
“Intriguing in Greek,” he said, amusement lining his words. “I speak the language, yes.”
“Say something for me.”
“Another time.” He swept a heated gaze over me. “You know what’s intriguing?”
Yes. This. I liked this. Liked how his stare felt coarse and predatory.
I played coy. “What? Me?”
“Very.” There was the expression again, his eyes meeting mine, intruding into me, into places deep and sacred and delicate. Places I’d filled so compactly with secrets and memories and Amber that they felt crowded with him there too.
And when he looked at me like that, I had an unexplainable urge to make room for him. For only him.
My instinct was to look away, but I forced myself to bear it. And then I noticed he was struggling too. My breath grew fast and shallow. “No way. I’m boring, mostly.” But there was nothing boring about this. Nothing dull about the shine between us. It was strong and hot like a wire that only became live when we both held an end.
Then he shifted, and the fire was directly behind him, putting his face in shadow. “I wouldn’t call any woman who chases after a man boring.” Though I couldn’t read his features, his tone seemed suddenly harder. Accusing even, and the electricity between us notched up a degree.
“I didn’t chase after you exactly. I didn’t even know you’d be at the resort when I booked the trip.” Lies. I’d chased him. And though I hadn’t been positive he’d be at his Palm Springs resort, I’d suspected based on his previous habits around the holidays. It took more than a week to figure out how to get him alone.
“Then when you learned I was here, you decided to…?”
“I decided to meet you.” It was another interrogation, like the one at the pool, but more intent. I pretended I didn’t notice and tried to return us to the easiness of the moment before. “This surely isn’t the first time you’ve been come on to, Reeve. How do you normally meet women?”
Even though his expression was indifferent, his eyes reached everywhere – the insides, the outsides. Touching me, tickling me in ways that made me flush and squirm and burn. “Normally, I don’t meet women unless I want to,” he said. “Normally, I initiate.”
God, he was alpha male through and through. If I didn’t know without a doubt that Amber would never have put up with a true dominant then I might have pegged him for the master/slave type. My guess was that, at the very least, he was bossy when it came to his women, just like it seemed he was bossy with everyone in his life.
“You initiated dinner,” I offered, hoping that would console his obvious irritation. Hoping it would relieve me from the violation of those eyes.
It didn’t. “You wanted me to ask you to dinner.”
“I wanted to see you again.” My voice wasn’t as sure as I would have preferred. I was losing ground. I felt it slipping away underneath me. Desperate to gain it back, I added boldly, “I wasn’t necessarily aiming for dinner. I was more interested in dessert.” I skated my gaze down his body, accentuating my point.
“To be blunt, Emily, I’m usually uninterested in women who are so forward.”
But forwardness had gotten me the date in the first place. And despite his words, his shoulders pushed back and his chin lifted, obviously pleased with my interest.
Besides, my body was really the only weapon in my arsenal that I knew how to use. “Usually,” I repeated, standing as I spoke. “That means not always.”
He cocked his head. Watching me.
Then I knew with absolute certainty that he wanted to kiss me. That if he did, he’d take every last bit of power I had.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had to act first.
With a burst of resolve, I closed the space between us and settled my palm at the front of his pants. My breath caught as my hand closed around the thick outline, surprised he was already hard. “It seems it also means not right now.”
His cock twitched as I tightened my grip, but otherwise Reeve remained still. It was a stark contrast to the way I felt inside – nervous, agitated, infested. Aroused. I stroked the length of him, my heart pounding as he grew harder beneath my touch. Falling to my knees was natural and my hands fumbled at his buckle with a desperate urgency that had little to do with finding Amber.
I’d barely undone the clasp when my upper arms were seized and I was pulled roughly to my feet. I struggled to get loose, but my hands were pinned securely behind me. I managed to twist enough to see the person holding me was the bodyguard who’d met me at the door.
I turned toward Reeve who still leaned calmly against the pit wall. The hint of a wicked smile on his face sent a bolt of trepidation through me. Had this been planned? Was this a trap after all? Or was Reeve a kinky guy who let his staff participate in his sexual acts?
After a moment, he spoke. “I probably should have warned you this could happen. My men usually insist on doing a body search on anyone who spends time alone with me. I told them to skip it with you, but that, of course, made some of them even more wary.”
A misunderstanding, then. My pulse settled slightly. “I wasn’t going to hurt him,” I said over my shoulder. “Just the opposite, actually.”
“That may be true,” Reeve said. “But as I’m not used to having women come on to me, neither are they. Like I said, I always do the initiating.”
Reeve exchanged some words with his bodyguard in a foreign language – Greek, if I had to guess. Perhaps that was why he hadn’t wanted to speak it to me, because it was the language he used to communicate with his security team. I waited for them to finish, for Reeve to explain and for the guard to let me go.
Instead, the grip around me tightened.
Reeve stood, the corners of his lips turned down in an insincere frown. “I know this is awkward, Emily, but Anatolios insists on having you patted down now. To make you more comfortable, he’s agreed to let me do the honors.”
At the moment, I would have preferred the bodyguard. Even just the thought of Reeve’s hands wandering over me made my belly twist and flutter, and right now I didn’t want to be turned on by him; I wanted to be pissed. I was pissed. Because I didn’t buy for a moment that this wasn’t all part of Reeve’s game. I didn’t buy that anyone could ever let Reeve do anything. He was a man who did what he wanted.
So, as he crossed the two steps between us, I tried to find comfort in the fact that he wanted to be touching me. Like I wanted to be touching him.
His guard – Anatolios – shifted his hold, pushing me forward as if he were a loyal servant presenting a gift to his master.
Reeve looked me in the eyes. Oh yeah, he was enjoying this. “This will only take a moment, Emily. No need to be worried.”
I didn’t speak. Anything I had to say would likely only get me in trouble. Best to just let the man do as he pleased and hope that my cooperation would earn me more of his trust.
He started with his hands at my neck, his touch fiery on my skin. Then he swept them down over my collar and outward across the line above my chest. Under his fingertips, my nerves awakened, spitting into flames that licked and burned in the tracks of his path. He glided down the sides of my torso, cupping under my breasts, lingering before he drew back to my waist. Then over my hips. Down the outside of my thighs, his eyes were heated and never left mine. He didn’t pat down like the security at the airport looking for a hidden weapon. He caressed. He teased. He tortured.
He bent to continue his trail to my ankles. There he paused, throwing a
glance to Anatolios. Next thing I knew, my legs were kicked apart from behind, forcing me to widen my stance. I swore under my breath, but didn’t fight. Reeve resumed his torment, this time moving up the insides of my shins, past my knees, higher, to the sensitive section of my inner thighs where each centimeter of skin crossed made me fidget and squirm, finally landing at the crotch of my panties.
I drew in a shuddering breath. I was on pins and needles, my arousal so spiked that it was itchy and agonizing and infuriating.
Reeve straightened to his full height while keeping one hand positioned at my center. His eyes glistened as he registered the dampness of the material. “I like this, Emily. It makes me happy to know that at least a portion of your interest in me is sincere.”
Fucking asshole. “It’s all sincere,” I said through gritted teeth.
He stepped even closer so that his breath whispered across my face. “I want to believe it. I really do.” He slipped his fingers inside my panties then, ignoring my throbbing clit and moving lower where he circled my entrance before plunging inside of me. “Ah, soaked. I like this a lot.”
I struggled to suppress a moan, struggled to be as stoic as he’d been when I’d touched him.
But it was impossible. The storm was already gathering, my belly tightening as the pleasure built and I couldn’t help the small, breathy cries that echoed from the back of my throat.
Reeve sighed heavily, pressing his forehead against mine. “You’re very tempting, Emily Wayborn. So very tempting.” Desire clouded in his expression, but – in his stance, in his form, in the way he held himself firm against me – I saw restraint. Which would win? Which did I want to win?
He brushed the thumb of his free hand across my lower lip. “Tempting. But as I told you, I’m not easily overwhelmed.” He pulled away suddenly, leaving my body wound up and wanting. “I’ve just remembered some business I need to attend to. Thank you for an entertaining dinner, Emily. Anatolios can see you back to your suite if you’d like him to.”
First Touch Page 4
