“Why did you not go to Palandur?” Alain asked.
“Because you were somewhere up here, and I had a growing fear that you were also in danger.” She waved toward the remains of the dragon. “I was right. In Kelsi, I paid a common to go to the Mage Guild Hall, letting him believe that I wanted to hire a young Mage whom I had heard of whose services didn’t cost as much as older Mages’. Because of what you’ve told me I knew the Mages in Kelsi would have known I was lying if I’d gone to them disguised as a common myself, but that common I hired thought I was sincere and so didn’t show any deceit when he talked to the Mages. Those Mages told the common that you weren’t available, that you had a contract in Alexdria. So I went there, where every man, woman and child was chattering about the secret raiding force which had recently left on a secret mission to secretly loot an Imperial town. And plenty of them were willing to talk about the young Mage who was accompanying that force.”
Mari made a face. “Do you have any idea how much junk a military column leaves in its wake? It’s like soldiers shed things as they walk. After picking up some medical supplies just in case a certain Mage had gotten himself hurt, despite his promise to me to take care of himself, I just followed the trail of trash at the best pace my horse could maintain until I heard gunshots ahead of me, and then I hustled faster, until I saw you facing that dragon. I dismounted, activated Alli’s weapon, took careful aim, and conducted a successful field test of the device.” Mari grinned. “I can’t wait to tell Alli how well it worked, even though I have no idea when I’ll see her again. Now, it’s your turn. Tell me what you’ve been up to.”
Alain took a moment to order his thoughts. “After we separated at Dorcastle, I took ship north as my Guild ordered. Since that time I have been moved from Guild Hall to Guild Hall, I suspect because many elders wished to evaluate me. I was closely watched everywhere.” He shrugged. “I did betray much more feeling than I should have, especially when I thought of you and of our time together.”
“Great.” Mari sighed. “That should be sweet, except it meant that you were ultimately marked for death.”
“Not right away,” Alain said. “I was given no assignments, though I kept asking for one. I…I had difficulty having no one to talk with, as we had. There is only one Mage I think I could talk with, though not like with you, but I do not even know where Asha is.”
“Asha.” Alain could not make out Mari’s expression. “You mentioned her a couple of times before.” Mari hesitated. “Does Asha have dark hair? And is she a little shorter than I am?”
Her voice revealed that those questions had some deeper meaning, but Alain could not think what that might be. “No. Asha’s hair is yellow. No. Golden. And she is about my height.”
“Asha is a tall blonde?” Mari asked, her tone of voice shifting very quickly.
“Yes. Despite her skills, she had trouble with the elders because of her appearance.”
“Her appearance?” Mari peered at Alain. “I thought Mages were taught not to care about their appearance.”
“Female Mages are taught to disregard any sense of personal appearance,” Alain agreed. “This was a problem for Asha. No matter what she did, she always looked very physically attractive.” After a long moment of silence, Alain looked closely at Mari. “Mari?”
“What?”
“You said nothing.”
“What would I have to say?” Mari asked in an outwardly casual voice that sounded oddly tense to Alain. “This Asha you keep talking about, this old friend of yours, is a tall, very attractive blonde. Why would I have anything to say about that?”
There had been times when Alain was an acolyte that elders posed questions to him, questions that seemed very simple yet had contained hidden meanings. Choosing the right answer could sometimes be extremely difficult. He wondered why Mari’s last statement reminded him of that. “Should I not speak of Asha?”
Mari made a gesture which seemed uncaring, but the jerkiness of it implied considerable stress. “I don’t care whether or not you talk about your tall, blonde, very attractive former girlfriend. Why should I care?”
“Asha…is a girl. We were never friends. Perhaps we could have been.” Alain thought he should drop it, but felt a need to explain. “The first day after the Mages took us from our families and brought us to the Guild Hall, we were very young, and we spoke together. We could have been friends, I think, in time. But we were taught not to speak, not to help. There could be no friends. I learned that Asha was a shadow. She learned not to see me as real. Anything that might lead us from wisdom caused punishment. We learned not to be anything, not to care.”
Mari held out one hand, touching his cheek. “I’m sorry. I forget the sort of things you went through. Sometimes I can be a real witch.”
Heartened, Alain nodded, even though he was not sure what had just been happening. “Asha was not one of those female Mages sent to me to see if I would act as expected in a young male.”
Her hand dropped abruptly, her eyes widened, and Mari’s face got tense again, but surely not from embarrassment this time. “Female Mages? Sent to you?” she asked in what was almost a whisper.
“Yes.” Alain nodded again. “To see if I would have physical relations with them. I showed no interest. This surely confirmed for the elders that I was somehow corrupted.”
Mari breathed in and out slowly a couple of times, her tension subsiding. “Just what does your Guild teach about men and women?” she asked.
“That physical relations are meaningless, only a matter of satisfying the demands of the body, while no emotional relations are permitted.”
“But you turned down all of these females sent to you?” Mari’s voice was outwardly calm, but once again he could sense the tension underneath.
“Yes.” Alain spread his hands helplessly. “I could not stop thinking of you, and when I did those others held no attraction.”
She finally smiled. “Good.”
“When I failed those tests, it must have been clear how far I had strayed from the path of wisdom,” Alain continued. He noticed Mari’s eyes narrowing again and hastily added more. “Wisdom as my elders see it, that is. A short time after the last such test, I received orders to go to Alexdria to accompany a military force. I understand now that the decision must already have been made that I must die, as my Guild had surely already put in motion the betrayal of the Alexdrian force and the large number of Mages to be arrayed against me.”
Mari exhaled slowly, then drew in a deep breath. “Why didn’t they just try to kill you? A knife in the back or something?”
“I am uncertain. I think my death may have been meant to send a message. Even a great Mage may be killed by a knife in the back at an unexpected moment, but if I died while on a routine contract, it could be blamed on my own failures as a Mage and my youth. It would be an object lesson on the dangers of succumbing to emotion, and a warning against granting Mage status to one as young as I. Then, too, I have heard discussions among the elders that the shadows of the Free Cities have been too bold of late and needed some rebuke to keep them under control. The total destruction of a force of that size would have had a strong impact.”
Her expression had been shifting to dismay, and now Mari lowered her face into both of her hands, her voice partly muffled by them. “If you had done what your Guild expected you to do with those women, it would have lessened your Guild’s suspicion of you. You didn’t have any commitment to me, Alain. You had promised me nothing. You didn’t even know whether or not you would ever see me again, since you say that vision in Dorcastle is only what might be some day. You would have had every right to do whatever you wanted with those women.”
He gazed at her, puzzled at the change in Mari’s reactions. She had seemed upset at the idea of him with other women, but now… “You wanted me to lie with other women?”
“No! Maybe.” Mari kept her face hidden, but her voice was torn with conflicting feelings. “It would have kept you safe, Alain.�
“I did not wish to do that so as to remain safe. Would you have lain with other men in order to protect yourself?”
“No!” Her hands came down and her head up, Mari glaring at him. “That’s different. Completely different.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Her glare deepened. “Because it is. But it doesn’t matter now.”
Alain frowned slightly, the visible reaction reflecting his extreme level of puzzlement. “You are angry with me because I did not lie with other women.”
“No. You are completely missing the point. Just forget it. What happened after you turned down all of the Mage Guild’s sluts?”
He did not understand Mari’s reactions at all, but decided that pursuing the question would definitely not be along the path of wisdom. “I went to Alexdria, where I joined with the military force under the command of General Flyn, neither of us knowing that the fate of our mission had been already decided. Now you and I both know of the recent past of each other. What will you do, Mari?”
She licked her lips nervously. “Give thanks that you survived, thanks that this general was the commander of the Alexdrians, and thanks that I made it here when I did. After that? More data. I need more data. Exactly what is going on and why?”
“You seek to learn more of the oncoming storm?” Alain asked, thinking of the vision he had seen.
“Storm?”
“The danger,” Alain said, casting his voice lower. “The chaos that threatens all this world. We spoke of it in Dorcastle, and you said you knew all about it, and what your role was to be.”
“Oh,” Mari said. “That stuff. Rioting in the cities, and random attacks by commons, and disproportionate actions by my Guild, and what’s still happening in Tiae? As for my role, I know something must be done, but I don’t know how to do it. I want to talk to Professor S’san. I found out that she’s gone to live at Severun in retirement, so I’m going to go there and ask some hard questions and not leave until I get some decent answers.” Mari looked down, her clasped hands twisting uncertainly.
“But Severun is deep within the Empire, and you cannot travel as a Mechanic if your Guild is searching for you,” Alain objected. “A common without travel papers trying to enter and journey through the Empire will face many difficulties and dangers.”
She still did not look at him, her face lowered. She brushed back her hair with one hand. “I’ve got some fake travel papers.”
“It will still be very dangerous, Mari. But if you believe this must be done to fulfill your task, then I will do all I can to protect you.”
Her head shot up and Mari stared at him. “Really? You’ll come along? I didn’t want to ask. It’s too much to ask of you.”
“If a friend is someone who helps, surely one who cares much more for another does even more,” Alain said. “I only parted from you in Dorcastle because it seemed the best way to protect you from harm. I will not willingly leave you again. And I must assist you in what you seek to do.”
Mari seemed to be trying to avoid crying, even though she was also smiling. “Alain, it’s not something you must do. It’s your choice, though I don’t deny I am very happy with it.” Mari paused, then spoke with careful control. “Please think about it before you commit to this, Alain. It will be very dangerous for you.”
“Dangerous?” Alain asked. “My Guild already seeks to kill me. It would have already succeeded if not for you. But most important is ensuring your safety as best I can, and helping you to do the right thing. I will not leave your side again, I will assist what you seek to do, and I will not allow harm to come to you while I live. I do not have fake travel papers, though.”
Mari looked embarrassed. “Actually, Alain, I have a set of fake travel papers for you, too. I was hoping…”
“You should have known this, Mari, that I would help you.”
She was smiling again as she wiped her eyes. “Maybe I should have known. But I didn’t, Alain. You are a Mage, and sometimes my memories of what happened in the Waste and in Ringhmon and at Dorcastle have seemed like some kind of hallucination. I didn’t know how you would react when I found you. I was actually… Alain, I was afraid that when I found you I’d discover that you’d gone back to being like you were when we first met. That you’d just look at me as if I didn’t exist and walk away. I should have realized that wouldn’t happen. I should have known that you’d help without question. You keep saying that truth doesn’t exist, but you are true. There’s nothing false about you.”
He felt very good at that moment, better than he could recall feeling in his entire life. “You will sleep beside me tonight?” Alain asked.
She looked surprised, then breathed a laugh. “I don’t know exactly how you mean that, but the answer is no. We maintain our distance, Sir Mage, so that our desires don’t get the better of our brains. You said that you’re safer with me around, and I feel the same way about you. Just like before, whatever one of us can’t handle, the other one can deal with. But I won’t feel safe sleeping right next to you because I’m not sure that either one of us can handle that the way we should.”
“You are right,” Alain agreed.
“There. You told me that I’m right again. You may not have great social skills, but you know what to say to a woman.” Mari reached over and retrieved her cup of stew, sipping at it. “It’s cold. Yours must be, too. Sorry.”
Alain picked up his and finished it off quickly. “Between the fire and your presence, I am warm enough.”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “Who told you that line? Some of the soldiers that you’ve been hanging around with?” In the distance, the calls of the sentries sounded, reporting that all was still well. “I’m glad they’re around us now, though. It’s been a little scary sleeping out here alone.” Mari made a face. “Blazes, it’s been scary for months, every time I wanted to sleep, not knowing what might happen while I was sleeping. I could put wedges under my doors to keep out commons or Mechanics, but thanks to you I knew those wouldn’t slow down Mages. I just had to hope the Mage Guild had lost track of me, too.”
“Do you wish me to stay awake and keep watch?”
“Stars above, no. I can see how tired you are. Just having you near will be enough.” She sighed, giving him a longing look. “But not too near. My physical charms might be too much for you, your touch might be too much for me, and then, hey, you’d be ensnared and I’d be worrying about maybe having to knit baby booties.”
“I believe that I already am ensnared,” Alain suggested.
“As long as you mean that in a good way. Alain, I’m exhausted. Do you mind if I lie down now? We can talk more in the morning.” Mari wrapped herself in her blanket and lay down a good arm’s length out of reach of him, though close enough to the fire to stay warm as the night air cooled. She blew him a kiss, her eyelids drooping, then closed her eyes, a slight smile on her lips. Mari must have been as tired as Alain, falling asleep within moments, but her smile remained in place.
He wondered how hard she had ridden to catch up with him and the Alexdrians. From what he had seen of her on horseback here and in the Waste near Ringhmon, Mari was not a natural rider. She must have suffered on that ride, but she had stayed in the saddle until she reached him.
Despite his own weariness, Alain remained sitting, watching her a while, seeing Mari’s face relaxed in sleep, the gentle rhythm of her breathing bringing a sense of great comfort. He sat under the stars, absorbed in wonder at the marvels of this illusion others called the world, letting feelings he had once forgotten fill him.
She loves me.
In danger herself, she came to see if I was safe, pushing herself hard until she found me barely in time to slay the monster that was about to kill me. I should be unhappy about that, concerned that Mari ran such risks for me when only she can fulfill the prophecy that means everything to this world. But, perhaps, the same parts of Mari that brought her here in time to save me will also enable her to save this world.
<br /> I was taught that love did not exist, that like all else it is an illusion, yet today love saved my life.
I will never again leave her.
Chapter Six
Morning dawned chill, the heights around them blocking the sun’s rays. Alain could hear the calls of Alexdrian sentries reporting all well, a reassurance that the Imperial forces had relied on the dragon to finish the job of destroying the raiders and not pushing up the pass themselves. Alain took another look at the massive carcass, still frightening even in its ruin. He could not imagine commons, or even Mages, choosing to follow on the heels of such a monster.
The fire had sunk into a few glowing embers. Alain had been trained not to care about personal hardship or discomfort and so ignored the cold in the air, but found himself concerned about Mari. He pulled out a few remaining branches from their supply of wood and got a small fire going again. Mari stirred, then opened her eyes and looked across the fire at him. “Yesterday wasn’t a dream, then.” She sighed. “That was the first night in a long time when I didn’t have a nightmare.”
Mari sat up, yawning and blinking. “I must look awful. I hurt all over and my mouth feels like my horse spent the night in there. Let me clean up and neaten up a little, then we’ll eat something and go see your general.”
The soldiers, busy getting ready to break camp, all maintained their distance, but Alain noticed that they often took quick looks at Mari as they talked among themselves. Mari acted as if she were unaware of them, though Alain could tell she was bothered by the attention. Two more cups of stew made up their breakfasts, brought by a pair of soldiers, one of whom eyed Mari with an awed expression while the other tentatively smiled at her before both left. After using water from a canteen she had brought to wash her face and rinse out her mouth, Mari spent a while straightened her hair and clothing. “Ready?” she finally asked him.
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