“Alain, we’re already tired and we have no idea how far it is to any shelter. We could walk past shelter in this storm and not even see it!”
“But we must keep trying,” the Mage insisted. “Remember the Waste, when you would not let me give up. You were right then. To survive now we must keep moving.”
Mari blinked away snow again and rewrapped her blanket head covering. “Yeah. I guess so.”
They couldn’t tell whether or not night had fallen, since the blackness had become so complete and the snow limited sight. Drifts began forming and blocking their way, so that before long they were slogging through snow past their ankles and in some places up to their knees. By now Mari couldn’t even tell if they were still on the road or if they had wandered off to one side into the empty fields. The crunch of Alain’s boots in the snow told her that he stayed just behind her, but otherwise the only sounds were the howling of the wind and the spattering of the snow against her.
Mari stumbled, barely catching herself in time to keep from falling. I can’t keep this up. Not much longer. She squinted against the brutal wind. “Alain!” she shouted through lips gone numb. “Listen, if I fall, you keep going, you understand me?” He didn’t reply. “Alain! Did you hear me?”
“I heard you!” he finally called to her over the moaning of the blizzard. “I will not leave you!”
“Listen, you fool, if I fall you won’t be able to carry me! We’ll both die out here if you stay with me!” A wild swirl of icy snow battered them, then passed on. “So if it comes to that you go! Just keep walking and get yourself safe!”
“No!” Alain’s voice, which had barely carried over the storm before, came clearly this time.
“I’m not asking you! I’m telling you! I won’t have anyone dying for me! Especially not you!”
“No! I would rather leave this dream in your company than continue to live in it without you!”
“I don’t care, you wretched Mage!” Tears were welling in her eyes, freezing on her cheeks. “If I fall, leave me!”
“I will not take orders from a Mechanic!” Alain shouted. “And I will not leave you, just as you would leave no one behind. We will live together or we will die together and enter the new dream hand in hand.”
Mari glared into the blinding sheets of snow and sleet being hurled at them, her anger bringing the first hint of warmth she had felt for a seeming eternity. “You’re an idiot, Mage! Have I told you that?”
“I do not think so.”
She realized he had sped up slightly to be next to her, then felt something on her arm. “What are you doing?”
“Tying us together so we will not lose each other in this storm. We should have done that already. I had forgotten, though. My father’s words come back to me.” He leaned his head close, but it was so dark and her eyes were so weary from the storm that all Mari could see of Alain’s face was a blur. “We are in this together, no matter where it takes us.”
“I don’t want you to die!” she cried, tears once more fighting their way out against the wind and joining the ice on her face.
“And I do not want you to die. So we shall stay together, and we shall continue putting one foot in front of the other, until we either reach safety or we lie down together for the last time.”
“You are such a fool, Mage. I love you.”
Even over the storm she could hear the struggle as Alain tried to voice something he had been trained never to say. “I…I…love you.”
“Stars above, you said it. You managed to say it.” More tears, trickling out to freeze against her cheeks. Why now, when their lives seemed to have very little time left? “If you love me, then leave me. Leave me when I fall so that I can die knowing you still have a chance to live.”
“No. We seem to be made for each other’s company, so I will not deny destiny by ever leaving you.”
She managed to rouse one last protest. “I don’t believe in destiny!”
“Then I will believe for both of us. Do not talk anymore. Just walk.”
And she did. Thinking angry thoughts of Mages too stubborn to pay attention to common sense, of boys so blinded by love that they wouldn’t do what was obviously the necessary thing, Mari kept raising a foot, planting it a little farther forward, then raising the other foot. She pulled her head covering over her completely, trying to give her face what protection she could, and trusted in Alain to guide them while she muttered a continuous string of comments through numbed lips about his failure to be reasonable. Every step was an agony, but Mari kept going without any idea where she was getting the strength to keep lifting her feet and moving them forward, time after time. I can’t let him die out here. If I stop, he’ll die. So I have to keep walking. Why is he doing this to me? If he’d just leave, I could lie down and sleep. Couldn’t I? He said that he loved me. He said that he’d never leave me. Do I ever want to leave him again? Not if I can help it.
Well, he may be an idiot, but he’s my idiot.
I won’t leave him and I won’t let him die out here. A fresh gust of icy snow staggered her. But if worse comes to worst, at least we’ll die together. Like Alain said, hand in hand to whatever comes after this world.
Chapter Eight
She walked on, step after step, for how long she could never say afterwards. Her leg muscles burned until she thought she couldn’t stand it another second, and then they burned even worse. Her feet felt like inert sacks of sand, her lungs were seared with each breath of icy air she took, and her face seemed to be getting pricked with innumerable needles as the wind lashed it through the covering. The weight of her pack became unendurable, but she couldn’t shed it with her arm tied to Alain’s, so she hunched forward a little more and kept enduring the burden.
There came a moment in the endlessness of her torment when the wind slackened, as if they had come into the lee of some kind of shelter. Part of Mari noticed, but she couldn’t rouse the rest of herself to do anything but keep walking. Then her boots clumped on wooden boards instead of snow drifts. Then there was a light and she finally stumbled to a halt with Alain beside her, raising arms that seemed barely able to function to lift the covering from her head. Blobs of lantern light. Alain raising one hand to pound on a door until the door swung open and more light spilled out. Vague shapes of people.
Without the need to keep planting one foot in front of the other Mari found herself swaying, every ounce of her either numb or screaming with pain and no strength anywhere. Her legs gave way and she started falling, staring blankly at the doorway of light. Alain could not support her and fell with her. Hands grabbed at her arms and then there was nothing but a deep dark where she could feel nothing.
* * * *
Mari woke surrounded by darkness and felt a moment’s stab of fear, wondering if her last memories had been a hallucination and she had actually collapsed in the open and now lay buried beneath the merciless snow. Then Mari realized she could hear the sound of the storm still raging, but muffled. She blinked into the darkness, her weary eyes having trouble focusing, until she could make out walls around her which shook occasionally as a particularly strong gust hit. She turned her head, making out the dim outlines of a very small room. A little window in one wall showed nothing but the backs of storm shutters closed tight, small drifts of snow nonetheless penetrating to the inside. Mari was surrounded by a softness and a warmth that even her numb, aching body could feel. I’m in a bed. We’re safe. We?
Where was Alain? Another bolt of fear went through Mari and she managed to prop herself up on one elbow, scanning the room. She almost missed him, then spotted Alain on the floor. He was rolled in a blanket, lying next to the bed, his face slack with exhaustion. Mari stared until she could be sure he was breathing, then collapsed back onto the bed and passed out again.
The next time she awoke the sounds of the blizzard had diminished a bit. A trace of weak light could be seen outlining the storm shutters over the little window. Mari lay still for a moment, staring up at the cei
She pushed herself up again, seeing he hadn’t moved from his place next to the bed. “Alain.” Her voice came out in the barest whisper. She swallowed and tried again. “Alain.”
The Mage stirred, blinking around with bleary eyes, then looked up at her. Too exhausted to maintain emotional control, his cracked lips bent in a small, slow smile. “Mari.”
“Get in this bed.”
“What?” Alain blinked some more.
“Get up here. I won’t have you sleeping on the floor while I’m comfortable.”
“But, Mari…your bed…you said…not too close…”
“Listen, you silly Mage, we’re both fully clothed except for our boots, I hurt all over and can barely move, and the last thing on my mind is any form of exercise. Now get up here.”
“But…you are sure?”
“Alain, if you don’t get up here right now I’m getting out of bed and lying on the floor, too!”
That threat stirred him into motion. Groaning, Alain came to his hands and knees, then managed to pull himself up into the bed. He tried to lie right on the edge, as far from Mari as possible, but the bed was so narrow she had no trouble reaching out, grabbing him, and pulling him close, flipping the comforter over him as well as her. “Neither of us is a threat to the other’s virtue right now, Mage.” His body, tense at first, slowly relaxed in her arms. It felt good, even through the pain in her body. Holding Alain felt very good. “Why did I take so long to do this?” she murmured. “Are you all right, Alain? I mean, I’m sure you hurt as bad as I do, but are you all right?”
His voice sounded strained. “I will live. I will stay with you.” His arm tightened around her for a moment.
“Don’t get any ideas,” she warned drowsily, already feeling worn out from her burst of effort. “We still have to wait. But I know I’m safe with you beside me here. Once I can move again, I’m going to kiss you. I don’t care how bad my lips hurt. You’re going to get kissed like you’ve never been kissed before.”
“You are the only one who has ever kissed me.”
“Let’s keep it that way.” She sighed, feeling a joy at his presence through the pain in her body. “You saved my life. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”
“Do you think I would have been able to keep going without you?” he asked.
Instead of answering, Mari smiled and snuggled her head against his shoulder, then surrendered again to her exhaustion.
* * * *
A noise startled Mari awake. Alain was no longer beside her. She saw a middle-aged woman standing near the narrow door to the small room, watching Mari with a smile. Mari looked around frantically. “Where’s—?”
“Your young man?” the woman asked. “Getting a warm soak. He wanted to wait for you to awaken, but I told him the water wouldn’t be getting any warmer and he needed it. From the way he looks, I believe he’s still in shock.”
Mari tried to gather her thoughts. The way he looks? The lack of emotions showing! I have to cover for Alain. “He…he’s usually pretty impassive. That’s just the way he was…brought up.”
“Well, he smiled a little at you, so I’m sure he’s not a Mage.” The woman took a step closer. “I’m Jana. And I’m a healer. I took refuge in this inn, fortunately for you.” The healer shook her head in wonderment. “Maybe it’s because you’re young. You came out of that in better shape than you had any right to. You and your man.”
“My man? Inn?” Mari rubbed her forehead with both hands, trying to collect scattered thoughts. “The storm. We reached an inn?”
“That’s right. I can’t imagine how.” The healer sat down on the edge of the bed and patted Mari’s knee. “Even a Mage would have trouble finding a building in that blizzard.” The healer leaned closer and whispered. “We’ve got a few of them sheltering here, too. Staying well away from everyone else, thank the stars.” Then she straightened and spoke in a normal volume again. “But as I was saying, you and your man came out very well. A miracle, seems to me. How long had you been walking?”
Mari stared blankly at the wall. “I have no idea.”
“Huh. Strange how things work.” The healer leaned back slightly, gazing into the distance. “I’ve seen it before. People get caught on the plains. It’s the footloose ones, the ones without anyone to live for but themselves, that seem to die. Folks with someone close they love, they somehow keep alive more often than the others. In some way that gives them some extra strength when they need it.” She gave Mari an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ve been assuming because I found you holding each other in the bed. You and the lad, you’re traveling together like that?”
Mari nodded. Like that. We don’t have to remain at arm’s length anymore. I can trust myself with him. At least when I’m totally exhausted. “Yes. He’s all right, too, you said?”
“He’s in fine shape for a boy who almost died in a blizzard not much more than a day ago,” the healer remarked. “You slept a good long while. How’d you come to get caught out there? The skies warned of it.”
Still weary as she was, Mari couldn’t think of a good lie. “We’re not from around here.”
“I knew that from the accent, girl. Where did you come from?”
“Palandur.” That’s what the forged Imperial identification papers said, anyway.
“Palandur! City dwellers! And you survived a blizzard on the plains near Umburan! That’s one for the records.” The healer spotted Mari’s pack. “Can I get you some fresh clothing or anything else?” She reached for the pack.
“No!” Inside the pack, right on top, was her Mechanic’s jacket. Deeper inside were tools and her pistol. If anyone here saw any of that, it would be very hard to explain. However, arousing suspicions wouldn’t help either. For that reason, Mari instantly regretted her strong reaction. “I’m sorry.”
But the healer just paused and then pulled her hand back. “Personal things in there?” the healer suggested with a small smile. “Two young ones out in bad weather, far from home, like they’re running from something.” Mari tensed as the healer continued. “What’s the problem, dear? His parents or yours?”
Mari stared blankly at the healer for a moment. Then she got it. She thinks Alain and I are eloping. That’s as good a cover story as any. Better than most. Considering that our Guilds are the closest things we’ve both got to parents now, it’s even true in a way. “Both.”
“Ah, the worst of both worlds. Are you eighteen?”
“Yes,” Mari answered for herself, then remembered Alain’s words alongside the stream. “Both of us are eighteen.”
The healer shook her head. “Then you’re both legal and old enough they shouldn’t be trying to dictate to you. But I know sometimes it still happens. I won’t pry for details.” She sighed heavily. “Folks regret that sort of thing, you know, with time. The best advice I can give you is to offer them another chance some day. You and your man out there. Especially if a grandchild comes. Most people come around then.”
Grandchild? Mari hoped her reaction hadn’t shown. A grandchild to the mother who abandoned me without a second thought? Mari barely suppressed a shudder of apprehension and tried to keep her voice calm. “Thanks. I’ll remember that advice.”
“Good.” The healer’s face turned very serious. “Then I’ll give you one more piece. Or maybe just a warning. Since you came in during the storm, you don’t know who all’s sheltering here besides you. A girl your age should know there’s Mechanics staying here.”
Once again, Mari had to fight to suppress her reaction. “Mechanics?”
“I can tell you’re worried, and well you should be. A girl like you should be wary. Just like Mages, Mechanics have been known not to take no for an answer.”
Her eyes must have betrayed her anger, because the healer shook her head. “We have to endure it. You know that. Maybe it’s different in Palandur with the emperor’s eyes on them, but up here the Mechanics often do as they please.”
“Mechanics don’t care what the emperor thinks,” Mari said in a low voice.
“That wouldn’t surprise me a bit, but if you know them that well, you know enough to keep out of their sight. The women, too. Sometimes they want a personal servant for a while who they don’t have to pay, or they just feel like humiliating us.”
“I know,” Mari said again, her eyes averted from the healer.
“Some bad memories, there?” the healer asked gently. “Sorry I brought them up.”
“That’s all right. Thank you. I’ll exercise care.” What were the Mechanics here like? Like the decent ones, or like the ones who enjoyed treating the commons as if they were slaves?
What would this healer think if she knew that Mari was a Mechanic? She would be afraid of Mari. She might well hate Mari. And both feelings would be justified by the healer’s experience with other Mechanics. The knowledge made Mari feel slightly ill again.
The healer fussed over Mari a little while longer, then left with advice that Mari and her man get some food in the inn’s dining hall as soon as they felt up to it. Mari sat in the small room, staring at the door.
After a while the door opened slowly and Alain stuck his head in, then managed another brief, tiny smile when he saw her awake. “I did not know if you were still asleep.” He had put on fresh clothes, which clashed with the weariness still apparent on his face. Alain shut the door, then he just stood there, watching her with a very un-Magelike amount of anxiousness in his expression, looking somehow younger then usual.
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