“Just talk to the fucker,” Sam yelled from the gym as Loki stormed out.
Loki ran up the stairs, feeling even more furious about the secrecy surrounding Jack’s missions. One way or another, he would find out what was going on behind his back.
Chapter 2
There would be no steak. The one time Loki ever tried to prepare one, the meat ended up hard as the sole of a shoe, and so he’d never attempted it since. But as Jack’s return was getting closer, Loki took over the whole kitchen after negotiations with two other people and came up with the best dinner he could actually cook, not reheat. Following a tutorial on YouTube, he cut up hot dogs in such a way that the fringe-like fragments curled up, making the bits look a little like an octopus. He tried to cut up potatoes into even squares, but when that didn’t work out, he first butchered them into even smaller scraps, then ended up grinding them into a pulp and flavored them with a big chunk of butter.
For salad, he chopped up some tomatoes. He cut his finger while doing so, but since no one would spot the few droplets of blood in a tomato salad, he just left it and added salt. In the end, he was pretty proud of his creation, especially after using ketchup and mustard to draw circles around the plate, for decoration. Gordon Ramsay was always very intent on “presentation” in his programs, and while Loki’s plate didn’t look nearly as artistic as he had imagined when first walking into the kitchen, he was certain Jack would see just how much work went into his meal. He had gone to the mall in the end and got Jack a T-shirt with a wolf ripping apart a lamb, which he hoped Jack would appreciate.
Jack texted him before his arrival, so Loki was on pins and needles, with food ready when he came in. He smiled at the plates, and looked around the empty kitchen, which Loki even managed to clean up. “You should go on Masterchef.”
“I tried being fancy,” said Loki, taking a seat in front of one of the plates. His gaze trailed up Jack’s body and to his handsome face. “You’re gonna love it.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s this?” Jack grinned and picked up one of the sausages as he sat down.
Loki smiled, feeling appreciated. “Seafood, obviously.”
Jack ate some of the sausage and raised his eyebrows. “It’s okay,” was all he had to say, but he put the tomatoes and potatoes on his plate as well.
Okay? Loki spent over an hour on this dinner! “It’s actually beef,” said Loki, trying to make his cooking seem more sophisticated than it was. At least he thought the hotdogs were made of beef. He bet Jack never ate as much fresh food made just for him before. The club girls couldn’t rival him in this matter, not even Bubbles. Anyone could make a sandwich. “There’s ice cream for dessert, too.”
“What’s the occasion?” Jack dug in to the food. At least he was eating it.
Loki chewed on his lip and put the hot dog into his mouth. It was fine. He kind of expected it to taste more amazing. “I just thought it would be nice to eat together. You’re rarely home... with your missions, and all that,” said Loki, watching Jack carefully.
“Missions?” Jack snorted. “I’m not an assassin. Maybe if I save up a bit more, I could get you an Xbox. Would you like that? You wouldn’t be so bored.”
Loki blinked. “I’m not bored.”
“Oh. I thought that was the problem.”
Loki straightened in the chair and gave a laugh that sounded fake even to himself. “I don’t have a problem. What gave you that idea?”
“You seem… on edge.” Jack raised his eyebrows. “You accused me of cheating. You made dinner. It’s weird. It’s not like you.”
Loki shifted in his chair. “I just… don’t know what you’re doing when you’re not with me. Anyone would be worried if their man kept spending nights elsewhere.”
Jack leaned over the table. “Well, it’s not like I can exactly fuck you here,” he whispered.
Loki stuffed his face with potatoes. “Is that all you want me around for?”
Jack frowned at him. “Are you stupid, or just pretending?”
Loki ate some more food, staring at his plate. “Well, you only talk to me when I make you sit at the table with food,” he said in the end.
That got Jack’s attention, and he stared for a long moment, but didn’t say anything, just eating the damn sausages. Loki watched him in uncomfortable silence, and as much as he wanted to at least touch Jack’s forearm, play with the red hair that grew all over it, he knew it wouldn’t be appreciated. The last time Loki had tried touching Jack in a public space, it ended up in a minor freakout.
He cleared his throat and raised his hand with a new wrist cuff. “Look, I bought this.”
The corners of Jack’s mouth lifted. “That’s nice. Suits you.”
Loki smiled and reached out his hand for Jack to touch. “It’s very soft.”
As expected, Jack looked over to the kitchen entrance first, but then touched the cuff. His fingers slipped to Loki’s forearm, and torched every hair he touched. Loki gave a small whine and stretched his fingers, brushing the inside of Jack’s wrist. In moments like these, the connection between them was undeniable, and yet the increasing secrecy was taking its toll on their relationship. Loki couldn’t understand why Jack would keep something from him, other than infidelity.
“We will go on a real date on Monday, okay?” Jack said with a smile.
Loki exhaled. “I was looking at stuff we can do for free in the area, and there is this park with creepy sculptures. It could be fun.”
“Oh.” Jack pulled his hand away. “If that’s what you want to do. Cool. But we can go to a diner afterward.”
Loki sighed, watching the thick fingers with longing. Whenever they did have some time off together, Jack was always taking him places, and Loki wasn’t even sure they could afford that at the moment. Yet Jack always found a reason to buy him stuff or otherwise treat him, as if there was something weighing on his conscience.
Loki cleared his throat and pulled out the bag with presents. “I got you something, too.”
“Oh, yeah? What T-shirt did you get me?” Jack got up, and Loki followed suit, showing the bloody massacre of a T-shirt. He put it against Jack’s chest and touched it, pretending all he wanted was to make sure it fit. It would fit perfectly.
“I love it. Great choice.” Jack grinned, and for a moment Loki almost thought he would get a kiss, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen in the kitchen.
“I’m the lamb,” said Loki, drilling his eyes into Jack.
Jack frowned. “That’s dark.”
Loki chuckled and stepped closer. “That’s only because you are the big bad wolf,” he whispered.
“You should be a wolf. You know, the one who huffed and puffed at the house until the door gave in.”
Loki took a deep breath, hypnotized by Jack’s piercing eyes. “Maybe...”
But the magic bubble burst when Jack’s phone rang, and he picked it up. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there.”
“What is it?” asked Loki as soon as Jack finished the call.
“I gotta go an hour early. But the dinner was nice. Thanks.” Jack smiled and backed away, taking off his vest.
“Thanks,” said Loki, deciding not to give Jack the cuff just yet, not when he was in a hurry. “You are going already?”
“Told you I’ll only come in for a bit.” Jack took off his T-shirt, and for a moment, all wit left Loki’s mind, replaced by lust.
“And... where are you going?” asked Loki again, drilling his eyes into the meaty chest.
“We’ve had this conversation, Loki.” Jack changed into the T-shirt Loki bought for him.
“But you never tell me.”
“I’m doing business,” was all Loki got as Jack put his vest back on.
A sense of injustice spread throughout Loki’s gut. Sam knew shit about discussing serious stuff with Jack, but Loki was done asking questions. “I think I’ll go out for a walk. It helps with, you know, coordination.”
A smile was back on Jack’s face at those words. “Goo
d, I want you healthy.”
Loki touched his arm a bit too long and stepped back, deciding to leave the dirty plates for Bubbles. She deserved the mess if she dared to flirt with Jack.
Jack left Loki with his old T-shirt, and Loki couldn’t help but pick it up and smell the scent that had soaked into the fibers. His toes curled when the warm aroma of Jack’s favorite aftershave and the natural tang of his body filled his lungs. The fabric was still warm, and Loki hugged it as he requested a ride from a taxi service. He was done waiting for sincerity. If Jack refused to spill the beans, Loki would find out the truth on his own.
Fortunately, Jack made a detour to the garage first, so Loki got into the taxi down the street and waited for his secret boyfriend to ride out from the compound on his bike. Once Jack appeared, it was game on, and he told the dubious taxi driver to follow the big flashy Harley that just left the headquarters of a major outlaw MC. Once the man saw the patches on Jack’s back, he warned Loki that he’d have to pay extra. Loki didn’t care anymore. He’d shower the driver with dollars if necessary.
They managed to stay on Jack’s tail, patiently waiting when he stopped at a gas station to refuel, only to follow him for five more minutes. It was already getting dark when Jack drove the bike off the main road and parked behind a building with purple walls and neon pipes of different colors forming frames around plaster figures of classical goddesses.
Loki’s heart sank when he realized what this place was. He stumbled out of the cab and only threw some banknotes inside after the driver grabbed his hand. His breath shuddered, but every time he made a step toward the strip club, his body went number, and so he retreated into the safety of a tree growing across the street and sat on its bulging root.
More men were arriving every now and then, girls in skimpy outfits entered, and Jack stayed inside. Ogling tits, maybe even fucking some stripper in a back room and then complaining to her how annoying his girlfriend was, since he’d never admit that he actually had a boyfriend. No, not big bad Jack, who fucks girls left and right.
Loki hugged his knees, staring at the bold lights of the club, and his heart slowly crumbled into pieces. He’d had his suspicions for quite some time now, but deep down he’d always believed in Jack. As crude and brutal as Jack could be, he had a soft core, something Loki could sense in the now-rare moments when it was just the two of them. But maybe that core was harder than Loki thought, if Jack could lie to Loki’s face, only to ogle tits every single night and keep his conscience at ease by offering gifts.
He felt so empty, stranded on the edges of Jack’s life when there was nothing he wanted more than being in the center of it. Maybe it was just the obligation that kept Jack with Loki now that the novelty of gay sex was slowly fizzling out.
After the horrors Ted and the others had put Loki through, Jack was the one to offer Loki true comfort. The two of them had found the bastards one by one and put them to an end to rival Loki’s torture. Jack had been there to comfort Loki after the surgery, always there to put a smile on Loki’s face when everything hurt, and when he had been confused after doctors cut into his brain.
But as desperately as Loki needed Jack, it seemed the sentiment wasn’t mutual. Loki’s vision became slightly hazy, and the lights of the strip club blurred.
Lucy driving up to the club on her bike was the last straw. He couldn’t take any more of this bullshit. As she walked inside through a back entrance in her leather hotpants, Loki realized that maybe it was her Jack got to finally fuck, and he couldn’t get enough of it now.
Loki got up so rapidly his joints cracked after such a long time in one position. He stepped into the street and rushed across the double lane, but his heart stopped at the screech of rubber to his left. He looked that way, straight into the gleaming eyes of a car that stopped two steps away from him. The driver honked long and loud, and Loki stumbled off the road, backing away even as the driver yelled at him through the open window. The pulsing in his head grew stronger as he approached the entrance of the club with the beat from the music drumming beneath his feet.
A bouncer at the door gave him a hard look, but let him pass without a word. He stepped into a dimmed room with high ceilings and music thumping in the air along with cigarette smoke. He scanned the large room, slowly passing groups of men and partially dressed girls, who distributed drinks. Jack was nowhere to be seen until Loki passed the stage with a pole dancer, and finally noticed the bushy red beard.
Jack sat in a far away corner, smoking a cigarette and talking to a brunette in glittery heels and a silver bikini. With two girls lewdly spreading their legs as they rode poles on the stage nearby, Jack seemed to be in his element, smiling when the scantily clad bikini girl stepped closer and gently poked the tip of her shoe against Jack’s shin. The flame that was burning in Loki’s gut now exploded, and he stormed across the room, maneuvering between waitresses who wore only thongs and nipple tassels, and customers. His eyes were completely focused on the greedy bitch. He could hardly breathe by the time he grabbed her arm and pushed her toward the edge of the stage.
“Fuck off, skank!”
Jack’s eyes went wide, and he got up, dropping his cigarette to the floor. “Loki!”
“Let go of me, asshole!” the girl yelled and pushed him back.
“I don’t fucking want to touch you!” Loki growled before turning around to face Jack. Deep inside his chest, fury was fighting despair, and the friction between those two was enough to set Loki’s temper ablaze. “You lying fuck!” he screamed out, pushing at Jack’s chest. “You think you can just fuck around with girls behind my back if you buy me gifts? You can’t even say it to my face, you bastard? You are mine!”
Jack’s face went as red as his hair, and he crossed the distance between them in a swift move. He put his hand against Loki’s mouth, and the girl just gaped, stunned.
“Not another word from you,” Jack hissed, and squeezed his fingers over Loki’s cheeks for extra pressure. “Let’s go.” He pulled Loki against his chest and started hauling him into a back corridor.
Loki shuddered, overwhelmed by the power behind Jack’s hands. He opened his mouth, but as he tried to breathe, it only created a vacuum against Jack’s salty flesh. He didn’t try to flee, already resigned to his fate. His eyes stung as Jack led him down the corridor, past two barely clad women smelling of sickly sweet perfume. The red light made Loki feel like he was about to be tossed into the pit of hell, crushed by the hands he loved so much. And he still didn’t know what he’d do if Jack told him they were through.
Jack walked into a back room with mirrors, where two girls and Lucy herself were changing into tiny erotic outfits. “Get the fuck out,” he growled at them, and his hold on Loki’s mouth didn’t falter for a second.
The unknown girl frowned at him, but grabbed a bra and walked out without a word.
Lucy stared at them, dressed in a skimpy military-style dress. Her eyes met Loki’s, and he couldn’t help himself, screaming into Jack’s hand. Of course it was her Jack was seeing. He’d been into her from the start!
As the other women left, Lucy stayed behind, clearly knowing Jack would protect her from any violence Loki might want to use. “What the hell is he doing here?”
Loki reached for her, thrashing in Jack’s arms, but he couldn’t reach her.
Jack pulled him back with a groan. “Loki’s having a fit. I need no one approaching this door. Can you do that for me?”
Lucy pursed her lips. “I suppose. If you fight here, you will be cleaning up the mess afterward.”
A fit? Loki groaned in displeasure and tried to turn in Jack’s arms. How dare Jack treat Loki like a silly child when all he wanted was to put a stop to all the lies?
“Sure, he’ll clean up.” Jack squeezed Loki harder, and that assurance seemed to be enough, because Lucy left.
Loki closed his eyes, breathing hard through his nose.
Jack’s grip on him loosened. “If you start screaming again, I will fucking gag y
ou. Understood?”
Loki squeezed his eyelids harder, gasping against Jack’s hand, but he nodded, knowing there was no way around it.
Jack let go of him, and took a long breath. “Are you out of your fucking mind? First, what the fuck are you doing here? Second, maybe just go and tell everyone I’m a fag, huh?”
Loki spun around, catching Jack’s gaze. His throat was so tight he only spoke at the second attempt. “I needed to know where you’re gone all the time. You lied,” he finished flatly, looking around the messy dressing room.
Jack clenched his fists, and he didn’t look just angry, but also distressed, with a frown and pursed lips taking nothing away from the beauty of his face. “I work here.”
Loki blinked, for a moment not sure what to say. “You work here,” he repeated after Jack. “This is such bullshit,” he whispered, with a shake of his head.
Jack rubbed his face, hiding his eyes away from Loki. “It’s not bullshit. I’m a bouncer. Shit has been slow at the club. I didn’t want you to know I have a shit job, or have you throwing tantrums because I work around naked girls.”
Loki shook his head, looking at all the makeup and clothes spread over counters and chairs. “What? I... if we have no money, why did you give me so much today? It’s like you’re guilty of something,” he said, confused.
Jack scowled and kicked a feather boa on the floor. “Because I’m guilty of being a shit boyfriend. I can’t even rent us a place.”
Loki rubbed his face with both palms as his brain pulsed with chaos. “What are you talking about? The only shitty thing about you is that you’re coming over here and you lie about it. What the fuck? I-- you’re never there, and you won’t tell me where you go, and you don’t come home at night, and it made me think you just got tired of your little project and want to go back your old life...” He took a shaky breath, pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
“I can’t be there all the time, because I want to get us out of the clubhouse. Even this job I only got through Lucy. People see me, and they don’t want to employ scum like me. Maybe I could quit if there was more paint work at the garage, but it’s been shit.”
Loki's New Job - A Red Hot short story (M/M contemporary romance) Page 2
