by Thomas Baker
"Nothing Tyrone, just mumbling to myself."
Hannah shouted up to him. "You think you can stop in a few minutes. I need to change Gus's bandages out."
"Sure thing little lady," He shouted back.
Hannah was holding up well. Heroically considering she was the object of a deranged killer who was going to stuff her and add her to his collection like some safari hunter. Which he had done to her best friend. On top of that she had to play nursemaid to Gus, who had a slim chance of making it out of this alive if they couldn't figure something out soon.
JT was even more worried about Hannah than Tyrone, in spite of how she was acting. It was like she put up a stone wall between her and everyone else since they had left the cabin. Once in a while, he would see a crack in it, like last night when he could hear her sobbing after she thought everyone else had gone to sleep. Any advance from him to help meet violent rejection.
Back in what he now thought of as the old days, his temper would have flared up. He would have thrown down and a blow up argument would have commenced. Now, after what his unchecked temper did to that young girl...some nights he could still see her face, her big eyes, like doll eyes, looking up at him in shock right before going lifeless as her body collided with the ground. She had shot at him, almost killed him. At the time, not knowing it was a girl of ten up in the building shooting at them. he had charged in on her in blind rage. He had kicked open the door and knocked her out the window without a word. The excuse of her shooting at them first still sounded weak to him.
With those thoughts still fresh, he was more able to calmly brush off Hannah's rejection. Like the fire to kill zombies, the old, quick to anger JT seemed to have cooled. He gave her the space she needed.
It was all sad. Even what had seemed like something between them had died. A spark that almost burst into a flame at the cabin. It was more than physical attraction, even though she was a beautiful young woman. Hair a bright blonde. Eyes that sparked with the quiet strength she had inside. He was probably foolish to believe that anything could even develop between them in this worldin the first place.
Well, maybe there really isn't anything I can do to help her. He didn't know about coping with the kind ofloss she was feeling now. The closest was his parents, but he was young when that happened. It was the hardest thing for him to accept. Powerlessness. It was also a hard thing to deny his feelings for her, even now.
Clearing out these competing thoughts in his head, JT went back to concentrating on the road, after feeling the back tires slidea bit. JT spotted a track, barely more than tire ruts, leading off of the dirt road. His eyes followed it and as he squinted, he was sure he saw a farmhouse in the distance.
"Okay Hannah, looks like I've found a house. Sit tight for a few more minutes and we'll stop there."
He parked in front of the wide porch steps leading up to the farmhouse. Without a word Tyrone hopped out, shotgun in hand, and went up the stairs.
"Hey, where do you think you are going?" JT said in a hushed shout.
"Making sure it's safe." Tyrone didn't even look back. He peered in through the front window for what seemed like several minutes, went to the front door, opened it, and walked in, gun at the ready. JT stood there torn, then went to the back of the truck.
"Can you believe that kid, taking off like that?"
"Shit, don't tell me we have another Alan on our hands?" Gus said. He coughed several times. A spittle of blood stood out on his pale lips.
Hannah shot a worried look at JT and JT returned it. Here again, was there anything he could do to help Gus? God, he hated that feeling.
"If it's clear, we will get you inside Gus. We can pretend it's a four-star bed-and-breakfast." JT gently patted Gus on the shoulder.
Instead of his usual witty reply, Gus laid there, looking up at the blue sky.
"Gus?" Hannah said. Her voice wavered.
"Yeah little lady, I'm still here. What you waiting for, grab my bags and show me to my room. Or am I going to have tocomplain to the management."
Tyrone banged out the front door and shuffled down the steps.
"Looks all clear. Living room, bathroom, and kitchen downstairs. Three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. No zombies, no dead bodies and no live ones either. I saw no sign of looting. Looks like the people just left and nobody has touched this place since."
"Some good news for a change," JT said, clamping Tyrone on the back. "Help me get Gus inside."
"Are you sure it's a good idea to move him?" Hannah asked.
"You heard the man Hannah," JT said. "You don't want to get in trouble with management do you?"
Hannah thought taking Gus upstairs would be a bad idea. It was hard enough to hear his stifled cries of pain while going up the porch steps. The fact he wasn't crying out more made her figure he was trying to put on a brave front. It was just like Gus to keep trying to shield her from what was an obvious truth. He was dying, and she wouldn't be able to prevent it.
"Let's lay him out on the couch there," she said, point to the right of the door. "JT, can you go see if you can find some pillows and blankets? Let's try to make him as comfortable as we can."
Gus laid there continuing to moan in pain. Even though it was a visible struggle, he had to make a smartass remark. "No tip for you two. You two are by far the worst bellhops I have ever met."
"Take it easy now Gus. You need rest old man," Tyrone said with a smirk.
"You're lucky it's my nap time. You guys are dismissed. If I need anything, I'll call room service."
JT had to kneel close to make out what Gus said. After a look of sympathy to her, he and Tyrone went off to look around.
Hannah looked down at him, on the verge of losing it again. He was gasping, reminding her of a goldfish out of water. She didn't think she could take someone else close to her dying. Not after all those they left behind back at the cabin.
Alan. Dusty. Ashley, her best friend. They were gone forever. It still seemed like some kind of unreal nightmare. Even now she still expected Ashley to come through the door and join them. To whine and complain about staying here, then turn around and go off on a completelydifferent subject, like she wasn't upset two seconds earlier.
The sick psycho Harold, who now haunted her dreams like her own personal demon, had taken away any chance of that. After Ashley, he had wanted her. She was to be his next victim, his bride for all of eternity.
JT came back with a handful of pillows and a white sheet draped over his shoulder. "Here we go Hannah," he said, mercifully breaking her thoughts.
"You two make him as comfortable as you can. I'm going to go in the kitchen, see if I can find some food."
Hannah wasn't hungry, she needed a break. She couldn't watch Gus suffer like this another second.
It wasn't too long before JT and Tyrone joined her in the kitchen. She had been standing at the sink, staring off out the window.
"How are things looking in here?" JT asked.
"It looks like they decided to leave in a hurry," Hannah said, kneeling to look through a cabinet. She rose, wiping her hands on her pants. "Found several things in the fridge which now look like microbiology experiments. I wouldn't try those. I found some canned tuna, vegetables, spaghetti-o's, things like that, not past the expiration date. Couldn't check the high cabinets though. One of you tall boys will have to do that. No water from the faucet, but I got to thinking, like at H-...the cabin, they might have a well."
"Good idea," Said Tyrone. "I'll check."
Tyrone left, leaving Hannah alone with JT. He looked at her in a probing way. She turned around, making a show of looking into the freezer.
"How you holding up?" he asked.
"I sure am hungry," Hannah said. She turned around, her eyes shifting around the room. "I don't think I have ever been this hungry in my life. Thirsty too."
He crossed the room and grabbed her hand. "Hannah you know what I mean. I've heard you at night, when you thought I couldn't."
She couldn't l
ook up into his eyes. She dropped his hand. All of his attempts to comfort her felt like he had unfair expectations of her. Of their relationship. Ones she couldn't meet right now. Talking about what happened with him would also make Ashley's death seem too real. She went to leave and as she was passing through the walkway between the kitchen and living room she twirled. Despite her best efforts, her feelings burst out.
"I can't sleep, I just lay awake all night, thinking..." She whispered. "My God JT. Ashley, she is dead. Killed by some... a disgusting monster of a person. Every time I close my eyes and drift off, I hear him calling out. I was to be next..."
She broke down crying, angry at herself for doing so again. Was she crying only about her loss, or also about almost being killed herself? Why couldn't she let JT help? Did the burden of Gus make it worse? Even praying every night didn't seem to close the hole in her heart.
JT crossed the room and tried again to pull her close to him. She pushed off against his chest. No, it wasn't fair to Ashley to have any good feeling inside right now. So instead of taking in his comfort, she looked up at him, moisture glistening off her cheeks.
"I hope there is a Hell," she whispered, "I hope Harold's there, rotting for all eternity."
Hannah turned and stormed out of the kitchen. It felt much better to let the fury overtake her, instead of the sorrow.
There was, in fact, a well.
"Talk about old school," Tyrone said, coming back in with two old milk jugs full of water. "There was a pump out there I had to work by hand. Felt like I was back on one of those little kid field trips to the farm. You know what I mean?" He plopped the jugs on the counter and looked around. Where's Hannah?"
"She went back in with Gus I guess. I don't know about her Tyrone, I really don't. I'm no head doctor, but if she holds it in much longer, I'm afraid it will break her."
"Listen to you give emotional advice, Mr. Angry Guy," Tyrone chided. "Next you're going to give me advice on how to be more black."
"All right, Gus Jr." JT said, grabbing four glasses out of the kitchen cabinet. "I'm serious though. Maybe you can try talking to her."
"I can do that," Tyrone said, all levity gone from his voice. "Not sure it would help much. For now, let's bring some water out to Hannah and Gus. That I know I can help with."
They poured themselves a glass and chugged them like it was beer at a high school kegger.JT brought two glasses of water into the living room and handed them to Hannah. She downed hers and carefully tipped some up to Gus. He sipped at it slowly, like he was learning how to drink. It hurt to see Gus suffering.
"This isn't a tea party Gus," JT tried to joke.
What JT said didn't even seem to register with him. He squinted his eyes and peered up at Hannah, like it was hard to see her.
"You find any of the good stuff yet darling?" Gus asked. "It hurts like hell again."
"There was some Advil in the kitchen," Hannah said. "I can go grab it. I don't think it's safe to give you any pain pills again."
"You know, I used to take drugs in the seventies. Nowadays, I don't care what the temperature is." Gus drifted off, slurring his words at the end. None of them could even chuckle right now.
"Let's split up, see if we can find anything else that might help us," JT suggested.
He felt like he had to do something besides sit on his hands.
"You two go," Hannah said. "I'm going to grab the Advil and stay here. In case he wakes back up and needs anything."
JT nodded. "I'll take the upstairs. Tyrone, you take the shotgun and search the rest of the downstairs and the outside property."
JT took the stairs two at a time. The hallway at the top branched left and right. It was warm and musty smelling. An ugly floral patterned wallpaper line the walls. He searched all the bedrooms and the bathroom. All the furniture was old-fashioned, heavy wood.
He opened up all the windows as he went, letting the cooler fall air outside circulate through the house. Hard telling how long they may stay. He had no illusions though about this being their final stop. He had learned that harsh lesson.
JT still held out hope they would find some kind of large group, maybe even part of the government they could join up with. It had to be legit though. No more of this small time bullshit. The four of them staying in one place wasn't going to cut it. Besides, if they stayed there at the farmhouse, Gus was a goner for sure. When JT finished his search, he found nothing of much use. He went downstairs and met back up with Tyrone. His findings were much the same.
"I did find some cows out in the field. If you feel like a steak dinner, there you go.You know what I mean," Tyrone tried to joke.
By nightfall JT was too tired and discouraged to do much of anything else. The others seemed to feel the same. They huddled around Gus and their lantern, which sat on a coffee table. They ate a soundless dinner of cold raviolis straight from the can. Gus still slept.
"Guess we can call it a night, see what tomorrow brings," JT suggested, yawning and stretching out of his chair. "There is a bedroom for each of us upstairs."
"I'm going to curl up on the other couch," said Hannah. "I couldn't leave Gus alone down here by himself."
"Okay," JT said, not wanting to cause an argument about how she needed rest just as much. That was not how he wanted to end the day. "You need anything?"
Hannah shook her head no. JT headed towards the stairs. He turned to look at her at the bottom, before heading up. He thought about going over andtalking to her. Maybe he should stay down here with her. He rejected that idea. He would probably get more cold shouldered silence, anyway. He went to bed.
Some time in the night JT woke up to the sound of a dying scream. He rubbed at his eyes. It was probably a nightmare. He went to turn over and jumped when he saw Hannah standing in the doorway. He saw the look on her face in the dim light of the lantern she carried and instantly came awake. He started to sit up, but Hannah came over and pushed him back down with her hand.
She crawled under the covers silently. JT scooted over a little to give her some space. She laid her head on JT's chest.
"I had a bad dream," was all she said.
He looked up at the ceiling, enjoying the warmth of her body next to his. She was wearing one of his shirts for pajamas. He slid a hand up inside of it and rubbed her back, feeling the softness of her skin under his rough fingers.
She lifted her head up and looked at him. JT felt almost intimidated by her gaze. "I'm sorry" Hannah started to say before JT cut her off and pulled her down to kiss her. She pulled back at first before kissing him back. JT couldn't control himself as he sat up wrapping her in his arms as he kissed her more fiercely. The thought to stop and not take advantage of her vulnerable state crossed JT's mind briefly but she was doing nothing to indicate she didn't want this as bad as he did. Despite everything they had been through his physical attraction to Hannah was undeniable.
Hannah didn't fight it at all as he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. He could feel Hannah's heart racing as fast as his was.
Am I sure this should be happening?
JT laid her on the bed and crawled on top of her. He went slow and gentle. He kissed her along her stomach and made a trail up to her lips. He kissed her fiercely, and she returned it with the same fire. The disheartening sounds of another coughing fit from Gus echoed from below.
They paused until it passed but the moment between them had faded. JT could tell as he attempted to continue but Hannah's finger on his lips halted his advances. He swallowed his frustration down as Hannah's face switched gears back to looking miserable. With the grim circumstances, he tried to not let Hannah stopping bother him.
"I'll go back downstairs if you're mad at me." Hannah seemed ashamed of what they were just doing.
"No. Absolutely not. Get over here and lay in my arms," JT smiled at her as she pulled her shirt back and nuzzled in under his chin. Hannah looked up at JT one more time and promised him with a kiss she would make it up to him somet
ime. JT relished the thought.
"You don't owe me anything Hannah, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you." Those were the last words JT promised her as he held her close and closed his eyes, attempting to block out and cage the negative thoughts and comments in his mind.
When JT woke up the next morning, Hannah was already gone. He dressed and ran down the stairs. He almost took a tumble when he crashed into Hannah, who was running up frantically.
"What is it, zombies?" he asked. "Do I need to go back up and grab the shotgun?"
"No, it's Gus," Hannah said in a panic. "I'm getting so worried now. He was up mumbling half the night about what I assume are things from his past. You know...before. That's why I came upstairs last night. I needed a break. When I touched him this morning, he was burning up. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is anything else I can do."
JT was still trying to clear his sleep fogged brain. He had to come up with something. Man, was he getting weary of being the go-to guy though.
"Okay, how about you and I go out in the truck, see if we can find anything at the next town? Or maybe some other farmhouses? Tyrone will stay here, take care of Gus, and make sure he's safe."
Hannah looked about to protest but nodded her head. She had dark circles and bags under her eyes. She looked like she was about to crack. It wasn't hard for him to decide she needed a break. JT put a hand on her shoulder. She pushed it away. JT sighed. Was she really going to act as if last night didn't happen? He would play along for now. The priority was Gus.
"We'll fix him up. Don't forget he is one tough S-O-B," JT said. It sounded lame to him, an empty promise. Hannah didn't even bother with a response and walked away.
JT flew through the house, gathering up the shotgun, some canned tuna, and a jug of water. He threw it all in the back of the truck. He pulled out the crowbar and brought it to Tyrone.
