by Thomas Baker
Christ, she about had sex with a lying, murdering slime ball. Before that a psychopath tried to kill her. He wanted to stuff her and mount her like a hunter's trophy. Those things were on top of all the zombie attacks. The death of her dear friend. Not knowing but fearing her mother was out there right now,walking around as one of theundead.
It was crazy to think about all she had been through. Yet she wasn't numbing herself into oblivion with drugs or alcohol. Instead, she laid awake long after everyone else was snoring away, thoughts of all she had endured chasing each other like a dog chasing its tail. Most mornings she woke up, cheeks hot and wet. She turned to her faith at those times. God had been silent, but she knew, deep down, he would answer her when the time was right.
She drew in a deep breath and let it out. She needed to calm down. This wasn't a grief competition. She had to admit there was the other part of her though. The part which still had feelings for JT. It wanted to comfort him, tell him they had both been through so much yet they were still here. Everything would be okay. They had to lean on each other was all. She hesitated to do it though, because she wasn't sure he still felt the same way about her. Where did they stand now after all they had gone through? He barely looked at her now, let alone talked to her. How much of Tyrone's death did JT blame on her? What if he utterly rejected her? Could she take it right now?
They broke apart for the night. Gus said he would take first watch. She set up her tent, crawled inside, and read her Bible by flashlight, until the words blurred together. She gave up and settled down into her sleeping bag, hoping tonight at least the bad dreams wouldn't come.
The next morning frost covered everything. The road and the grass twinkled in the dawn's early light. The tents crunched as the crew packed them up. Hannah had taken last watch, so she was already up when the others rose. She sat on the concrete shoulder, knees up to her chest, looking off into the distance. The first to come over was Gus, stomping his feet and rubbing his gloved hands together.
"Morning darlin'," he said, standing close to her. The sun looked swollen as it topped the straight line of the distant vista. "I don't know what I miss more, central air or heat."
"Gus, morning" Hannah said, perkier than she felt. "It's too bad we ran out of coffee. My inside's could use some warming up."
"That's what she said."
It was a half-hearted attempt. Gus only chuckled slightly and Hannah smiled a little. She had indeedhad a bad dream last night. Randall had died. How she couldn't remember, but he didn't stay dead. He had come back as a zombie. He had eaten part of JT when she discovered him. Randall rose and came for her. Behind him was a zombie Harold and a zombie Albright. She woke up panting heavily. Knowing that sleeping was done that night, she took over guard duty from Linda.
The sun shone down weakly. Hannah stuffed her gloved hands into her coat pockets. It was the coldest day they had encountered yet. Linda stood beside Gus. Moments later JT stumbled up to join them, sunglass on. Hannah shook her head slightly and motioned that it was time to go.
Gus shivered dramatically, rubbing his arms. "Either we are about to Colorado or winter is almost here."
It wasn't long after a midday break for food when they found another car along the side of the road. It was a little Honda Accord. More out of habit than of any real hope, she checked it out. It looked in good shape and when Hannah looked inside, pistol drawn, the keys were dangling in the ignition.
She slid behind the wheel, closed her eyes tight, and tried it. Weakly the engine turned and then roared to life. She got out, jumping up and down and waving her arms.
"Jackpot!" she shouted. "Everyone pile in."
"Ford tough my ass!" Gus cackled. "Give this old fart a Herculean Honda any day!"
JT took shotgun. Gus and Linda went in the back seat. Hannah eased the car into drive and out of habit looked in the rear-view mirror. There were a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs dangling from it.
"Kinky," Gus said from the backseat. "You want to pass them back here? I might have a use for them later."
Hannah saw Linda smack Gus in the arm. Hannah smiled and pulled onto the Interstate. Soon they were blazing down the highway, heater cranked to the max. The car even had over half a tank of gas. Hannah felt the happiest she had in a while. Funny how it took something so simple nowadays. She was humming a song to herself as the miles they would have struggled to walk flew by in a blur.
The state sign to Colorado came and went. As they passed it they all cheered. Even JT, who had been silent and spent most of the time looking out the window. The warmth and the break from walking seemed to put everyone into good spirits.
Signs for Denver began to appear over the Interstate. More and more broken-down cars and big multi vehicle pile ups appearedas well, like icebergs in a frozen sea. Hannah knew there was no way she wanted to go into a city that big. In fact, while pouring over the state maps, she decided she would skirt the mountains to the south and approach that way, going past Colorado Springs. It was still a big city but not the metropolis Denver was.
She guessed maybe the winter would be less severe and maybe start later as well if they went further south. In her previous life she had never been any farther west than Indiana for a cheerleading competition, but she had heard some roads could close as early as November up in the mountains. She didn't know what month it was now, but she guessed it was late in the year. The trees they passed were all but bare. As they took I-70 deeper into the state and saw no snow on the ground, she felt hopeful they would make it ahead of any major winter storms.
Anytime they got to an on and off ramp for a town the snarl of cars got worse. Hannah had to be careful maneuvering around and through them. Besides those times, the going was relatively open, like most of Kansas. They had seen no sign of people or zombies.
In what seemed like a short amount of time they arrived in the city of Limon. Hannah gave a thankful prayer to God. Without the car they wouldn't even be to the state border yet.
Although it was only midafternoon, Hannah thought this would be a good place to stop. She knew from the map in Limon they would jump off I-70 and take a highway down to Colorado Springs. She didn't know what condition that highway was in and she was getting sleepy from the heat. She knew she didn't want to be entering a bigger city like Colorado Springs at night.
Driving slowly through the town, Hannah offered. "How about we stay someplace a little nicer tonight?" pointing at the Holiday Inn Express they were passing. There were no objections. Hannah turned into the mostly empty parking lot.
"How we going to do this?" JT asked as Hannah killed the engine.
"We'll go together, floor by floor and room by room. Once we know it is clear, we take the top room by the emergency stairs. That location should give us enough warning if something were to happen."
"Sounds like a plan darlin'," Gus said, opening his door and stepping out with a stretch. "Damn it, was great to rest these old bones and to have feeling in my fingers and toes."
Hannah popped the trunk. Each grabbed a gun from their packs, except for JT, who had had his shotgun on his lap for the entire drive. The only other thing everyone grabbed were their headlamps. The rest, Hannah thought, would wait until they were sure the place was safe to stop for the night.
Gus and JT pried open the sliding glass doors to the lobby. Inside looked relatively clean. A few suitcases laid half on, half off an overturned luggage cart. A body slumped over the check-in desk at the waist. Its arms look like something had chewed them, maybe an over sized toddler going through their teething phase.
"Not too heartwarming," Gus exclaimed. "You sure we should go in here?"
Hannah waved her hand forward. They continued on.
The first floor was clear except for the laundry room. In the big canvas box on wheels that usually held dirty towels, they instead found a variety of body parts all hacked up. There was no blood, so Hannah assumed they were zombie parts. Back when this began she would have gagged and thought how strang
e it would be that someone would do such a thing. Now she shrugged at JT and moved on.
They came across one zombie at the end of the hall. It was between the inner and outer doors of the side exit, trapped like a fly in a window. Hannah held open the door and JT pulled his knife. He stabbed it in the head. Down it went. Hannah closed the door, leaving it where it fell.
Up to the second floor they went. Every room was cleared. There were no incidents. The third floor also checked out clear.
"Well, aren't we lucky today! Check in's at three and checkout is at ten," Gus said as they stood outside the door to the stairwell.
"Not a bad choice Hannah," Linda said. "It will be nice sleeping on a bed, out of the wind for at least a night."
Hannah smiled, pleased with herself. She went through the stairwell door and down to the car. The rest followed her. Single file down and single file up they went, carrying the rest of their supplies up to the third floor.
"I'll take this one," Gus said, pointing with his free hand three doors down from the exit to the stairs. "Ladies first."
Gus dropped his stuff to open the door for Linda. "What a gentleman," she said as she passed Gus to go inside. JT raised an eyebrow and Gus winked at him. Hannah rolled her eyes.
"Night night all." Gus closed the door.
JT took the room next to Gus and Hannah took the one next to it, right next to the stairs.
It wasn't exactly warm inside but at least they would be out of the wind for the night. She put her backpack on the dresser, her gun on the table next to the bed. She threw open the curtains to let the sunshine lighten up the room. Maybe the hotel wouldn't feel so much like a tomb.
Hannah picked the bed by the window and pulled the sheets off the other bed so she could double up on her blankets. A knock came from her door.
"Come in," she called. The door opened and JT came inside.
"Can I help you sir?" she asked, smoothing out the additional comforter.
"Well, I had a crazy thought," JT said, smiling sheepishly. "Maybe we should share a room tonight too. There are two beds. That way, neither one of us are alone and separated from the other. If something should happen."
"Uh huh," Hannah said, a little sarcastically to tease him.
Even with all that had happened there were still moments like this. Where it felt like they were back to when they first met and sparks had flown between them.
She watched his puffed out chest deflate and his shoulders sag. She gave in to him then. After all she didn't want to discourage his reaching out to her. Maybe if they were together tonight, he would even refrain from drinking. Him trying to hide it was the most worrisome part. Doing that showed how JT knew he shouldn't be doing drinking so much.
"All right. You'll have to go get your own blankets though."
JT bounced out like a boy on Christmas day. He came back with an armload of blankets and made up the second bed. He made a second trip bringing over the rest of his stuff.
"I want to see if the lobby has any snacks. Some water too. JT, want to come with me?"
"Yeah. Let's go. What else am I going to do? Watch Big Bang Theory?"
"Heat and running water would make this place perfect," Hannah said, taking the stairs at a trot. "I wish I could take a shower, get this stench off. I feel like I'm covered in inches of gunk."
"Me too. You smell like a garbage dump," JT said.
Hannah took a step backwards to bonk into JT with a smile. JT smiled back but she could also see him cover up a grimace.
"I didn't know I had gotten so much stronger," she said, slowing down now. She could see JT favoring one leg as he took the stairs.
"It's this knee still," JT said. "It has been bothering me a little more lately. It usually does when the weather changes. Plus, I've been walking on it way more than I normally would have. I guess I should take better care of it."
"I'm sorry JT. I wish there was something I could do to help it. Did you bring it up with Linda?"
"Eh, I'll live with it," JT said, blowing it off.
"I'll be gentle with you then, since you're fragile," Hannah smirked.
"Watch it. I could still kick your ass. I'd do it too, even if you are hot," JT growled playfully.
They went to the breakfast lounge area and rummaged around. They each took two bottles of water and some bags of pretzel sticks they had found.
"I remember when people complained about how stupid bottled water was," JT said. "Those same people would be happy so much of it is lying around. Funny, huh?"
"Everything else has been so hard, I don't even want to think about safe water being scarce too."
They were both quiet as they made their way back to the room. The sunlight pouring in was now much dimmer, as low grey clouds rolled in. It made Hannah drowsy. She yawned deeply.
"It will feel so good, not sleeping on the ground," Hannah said, closing the curtain shut. "Do you mind crashing early?"
"Not at all. Do us some good I bet. My knee will enjoy it."
Hannah crawled under the covers, putting the water and a bag of the pretzels beside her on the table between the two beds. She moved the gun to under the pillow next to her. She let out an audible sigh as she sunk in.
"You need some privacy over there for a few minutes?" JT joked.
"Ha ha. Ignore any buzzing sounds you hear. Good night, JT."
The silence was non hotel like. She wondered if Gus and Linda were already asleep. It made the hotel spooky, all that silence. Reminding her of too many horror movies her and Ashley had watched between parted fingers, about haunted houses and hotels. It was also a reminder to her how dead the world was now. She rolled on her side, looking through the gloom at the wall next to her bed. The drowsiness was disappearing since her mind wouldn't shut up.
"Hannah," JT called softly.
"JT."
Sheets rustled. "Do you ever have these random ass thoughts race through your head? Like what if we had met before the Outbreak started? If you and I ran into each other at a party or bar, would we have hit it off? Would we even speak to each other? I am older than you. If we did, would this connection I feel still be so strong? I know you don't want to hear this but I still have feelings for you Hannah...I think. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Am I rambling or does this even make sense?"
Hannah swallowed. She guessed he might but then again after the whole Albright thing, not to mention Tyrone, she couldn't be sure he'd even want to be friends with her.
"I won't lie, I have feelings for you. I wish every night we could go back to before Albright and Harold. Before all this zombie crap. We could have become the stereotypical cheerleader and ex-football player, dating."
She laid where she was, continuing to stare at the wall. It made it easier to talk freely.
"We sure have been through some shit. Still, Hannah, here we are. The two of us are still together. I've already come to peace with the whole Albright thing. So you know...I'm willing to give it a go again."
Hannah swallowed. Did he reallyalready forgive her for what happened to Tyrone? Could that be the alcohol talking? She wasn't sure if he had any earlier in the day or not.
"Well, I haven't yet. I'm not sure you have either. JT, how much have you had to drink today?"
"What's that got to do with-Ohhhhh. You think I'm like drunk dialing you right now? Trying to get laid? Why can't you believe me? Is it because you are being too hard on yourself?" His voice rose in the dark.
"I've noticed, even if you think I haven't. It's not healthy." Hannah hated the self righteousness squirming into her voice as she spoke.
"Oh, and following some book telling you what a sinner you are and beating yourself up all the time is?"
"JT, I helped kill Tyrone," Hannah was getting frustrated now. "Jesus has to forgive me for that before I can forgive myself."
"Fuck! Hannah, for the hundredth time! Albright killed him!"
She didn't reply right away. She could hear him breathing heavily on his side of the
room. She sat up, her back up against the headboard and looked at him. She tried to drop the tones of judgment from her voice.
"Look, JT. I ask because I do still care. You say I'm beating myself up. What's the drinking about? You weren't doing that when we first met. Have you forgiven all? For real? Are eitheroneof us in any shape to be having a relationship?"
"You're right, forget it. Good night, Hannah." JT huffed.
With a grunt Hannah jammed herself back down under the sheets, looking up at the ceiling. The squeaks of the bed and the rustling of sheets is all Hannah heard from JT until the sound of snoring came on loud from his side. Hannah continued lying on her back, looking up into the dark. Outside she could hear rain mixed with sleet hitting the hotel window.
What a mess.
JT tossed and turned most of the night. He didn't mean for it to happen again. Too many times their talks had fallen into arguments. Then she brought up the drinking. He wished he had drank before talking to her. It had been hard to bring up he still wanted to be with her stone cold sober.
A weak light crept through the edges of the curtain. He decided he might as well get up. He walked over to the window and peeked out. There were still steely grey clouds hanging low, like he could reach out and touch them. Precipitation covered everything in a thin sheet of ice.
"How's it look?" Hannah asked from behind him.
"It looks clear. You pack your ice skates?"
Hannah stretched and reluctantly slithered out of her covers and came over. She groaned at the view.
"I guess we're in for the day. Let's go down to the lobby. See if we can find anything better to eat than pretzels."
They chewed on some stale danishes they had found, still in the wrapper, and sat by the lobby window. JT looked out the window at the glazed over world.
