Every Heart a Doorway

Home > Science > Every Heart a Doorway > Page 9
Every Heart a Doorway Page 9

by Seanan McGuire


  “How would I know?” asked Jack. She sighed when the others stared at her. “I’m her twin. I’m not her keeper. I’m not even her friend. We mostly stick together out of self-defense. The other girls think she’s weird, and they think I’m weirder. At least when we present a united front, they’re less likely to do things to us.”

  “Things?” asked Nancy blankly.

  Jack fixed her with a look that was equal parts pitying and envious. “You didn’t get a hazing phase. That’s the real reason Eleanor put you in with Sumi. Once Sumi liked you—or at least tolerated you—no one else was going to cross the line, because everyone knew better than to mess with Sumi. She was vicious. Nonsense girls always are. Jill and I…”

  “I remember when you got here,” said Christopher. “I thought your sister was hot, you know? So I offered to show her around the school, figured maybe I could get in good before one of the other guys showed up and started talking about his magic sword and how he’d saved the universe or whatever. I’m a dude with a flute no one can hear. I have to be persistent.”

  “She laughed at you, didn’t she?” Most people would have been surprised by the gentleness of Jack’s tone. She wasn’t the sort of person who seemed inclined to gentleness.

  Christopher nodded. “She said I was a cute little boy, but that she couldn’t lower herself to be seen with me. Like, that was her opening statement. Not ‘thanks, no thanks,’ not ‘my name’s Jill.’ Just straight to ‘you’re a cute little boy.’ I stopped trying after that.”

  “She was trying to save you, in her way,” said Jack. “Her Master was the jealous sort. She used to try to make friends with the kids from the village below his castle. Jill liked having a lot of friends around. Believe it or not, she used to be the gregarious one, even if it was a nerdy sort of friendly. She’d run you to ground to tell you about the latest episode of Doctor Who. This was early on, before she’d embraced the lacy dresses and the iron-rich diet. Back then, she thought we were just having an adventure. She was the one who thought we were going to go home someday and wanted to learn as much as she could.”

  “And you?” asked Kade.

  “I gave up on wanting to go home the second Dr. Bleak put a bone saw in my hand and told me he would teach me anything I wanted to know,” said Jack. “For a while, Jill was opening doors and looking for a road home, and I was the one who never wanted to leave.”

  “What happened to the kids from the village?” asked Christopher. “The ones she tried to make friends with?”

  Jack’s expression went blank. It wasn’t coldness, exactly, more a means of distancing herself from what she was about to say. “We lived in the grace and at the sufferance of a vampire lord. What do you think happened to the kids from the village? Her Master didn’t want her talking to anyone he couldn’t control. I think he only spared me because Dr. Bleak begged, and because he pointed out the wisdom in keeping a self-replenishing source of blood transfusions for Jill. We’re twins. If anything happened to her, I could be used for spare parts.”

  Nancy’s mouth dropped open. “That’s horrible,” she squeaked.

  “That was the Moors.” Jack shook her head. “It was cruel and cold and brutal and beautiful, and I would give anything to go back there. Maybe it broke me in some deep, intrinsic way that I am incapable of seeing, just like Jill can’t understand that she’s not a normal girl anymore. I don’t care. It was my home, and it finally let me be myself, and I hate it here.”

  “We pretty much all hate it here,” said Kade. “Even me. That’s why we’re at this school. Now think. Your sister isn’t in the basement, so where would she go?”

  “She might still be in the dining hall, since it’s harder to pick on her when there’s supervision around,” said Jack. “Or she could have gone out to sit in the trees and pretend that she’s back at home. We spent a lot of time outside there, for one reason or another.”

  “We saw her there yesterday,” said Kade. “Nancy and I will go check the trees; you and Christopher check the dining hall. We’ll meet back at the attic no matter what we find.”

  “Why the attic?” asked Christopher.

  But Jack was nodding. “Good call. We can go through your books while Loriel finishes stewing. Maybe there’s something in there about why someone would be harvesting parts from world-walkers. It’s a long shot. At this point, I’ll take it. Come on, bone boy.” She turned and strode down the hall, every inch the confident mad scientist’s protégée once again. Any vulnerability she had shown was gone, tamped down and covered over by the mask she wore.

  “Thanks for sticking me with the scary girl,” said Christopher to Kade, and ran after her, pulling the bone flute from his pocket.

  “You’re welcome,” Kade called after him. He offered his arm to Nancy, grinning. “C’mon. Let’s go see if we can’t find ourselves an Addams.” His drawl grew thicker, dripping from his words like sweet and tempting honey.

  Nancy set her hand in the crook of his elbow, feeling the traitorous red creeping back into her cheeks. This was always the difficult part, back when she’d been at her old school: explaining that “asexual” and “aromantic” were different things. She liked holding hands and trading kisses. She’d had several boyfriends in elementary school, just like most of the other girls, and she had always found those practice relationships completely satisfying. It wasn’t until puberty had come along and changed the rules that she’d started pulling away in confusion and disinterest. Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin, to know that his presence was absolute and focused entirely on her. The trouble was, it never seemed to end there, and that was as far as she was willing to go.

  Kade must have read her discomfort, because he flashed her a smile and said, “I promise I’m a gentleman. You’re as safe with me as you are with anyone who’s not the murderer.”

  “And see, I was just trying to decide whether I thought you might be the killer,” said Nancy. “I’m really relieved to hear that you’re not. I’m not either, just for the record.”

  “That’s good to know,” said Kade.

  They walked together through the deserted manor. Whispers sometimes drifted from the rooms they passed, indicating the presence of their fellow students. They didn’t stop. Everyone had their own concerns, and Nancy had an uneasy feeling that by helping Jack destroy Loriel’s body, she had just placed herself firmly in the “enemy” camp for anyone who had been a friend of Loriel’s when she was alive. Nancy had never made so many enemies before, or so quickly. She didn’t like it. She just didn’t see a way to undo it.

  There was no one outside. The lawn was empty as she and Kade walked toward the trees; even the crows had flown away, off to look for some richer pickings. Everything was silent, eerily so.

  Jill wasn’t in the trees. That was almost a disappointment: Nancy had been fully expecting to step into the sheltered grove and see the other girl sitting on a root, posed like something out of a gothic novel, with her parasol blocking out any stray sunbeams that had dared to come too close. Instead, the sun shone down undisturbed, and Nancy and Kade were alone.

  “Well, that’s one down,” said Nancy, suddenly nervous. What if Kade wanted to kiss her? What if Kade didn’t want to kiss her? There was no good answer, and so she did what she always did when she was confused or frightened: she froze, becoming a girl-shaped statue.

  “Whoa,” said Kade. He sounded genuinely impressed. “That’s some trick. Do you actually turn into stone, or does it only seem like you do?” He prodded her gently in the arm with one finger. “Nope, still flesh. You’re holding really, really still, but you’re not inanimate. How are you doing that? Are you even breathing? I can’t do that.”

  “The Lady of Shadows required that everyone who served her be able to hold properly still,” said Nancy, releasing her pose. Her cheeks reddened again. This was all going so wron
g. “I’m sorry. I tend to freeze up when I get nervous.”

  “Don’t worry, you’re safe with me,” said Kade. “Whoever the killer is, they’re only striking when people are alone. We’ll stick together, and we’ll be fine.”

  But you’re what I’m nervous about, thought Nancy. She forced a wan smile. “If you really think so,” she said. “Jill isn’t here. We should get back to the attic before Jack and Christopher start to worry about us.”

  They walked side by side back the way that they had come, Nancy’s fingers resting on Kade’s arm and her eyes scanning the grassy expanse of the lawn, looking for some clue as to what had happened. There had to be something that would bring all this together, that would force it to make sense. They couldn’t just be at the mercy of an unseen killer, who slaughtered them for no apparent reason.

  “Hands,” she murmured.

  “What’s that?” asked Kade.

  “I was just thinking about Sumi’s hands,” she said. “She was really good with her hands, you know? Like they were the most important thing about her. Maybe someone is trying to take away the things we treasure the most. I don’t know why, though, or how they’d know.”

  “It makes sense,” said Kade. They had reached the porch steps. As they started up, he said, “Most of the students lost the things that were most precious to them when their doors closed. Maybe someone’s so heartbroken that they’re trying to make sure nobody gets to be happy. If they have to be miserable, so does everyone else.”

  “But you’re not miserable when you’re dead,” said Nancy.

  “I sure do hope not,” said Kade, and reached for the doorknob.

  The door opened before he touched it.

  7

  COCOA

  LUNDY STOOD IN the doorway, eyeing the pair suspiciously. “Where were you?”

  “Morning to you, too, ma’am,” said Kade. “We got Loriel sorted, just like Miss Eleanor asked us to, and then we went to find Jill. Jack and Christopher are looking inside; we went to look outside. Since she’s not out here, do you mind if we come back in?”

  “She shouldn’t be alone,” said Lundy, stepping to the side and holding the door wider to let them pass. “Why didn’t you take her with you?”

  “Getting blood out of her dress would have been really hard,” said Nancy, without thinking about it. Lundy turned a startled, offended look on her, and she winced. “Um, sorry. It’s true, though. You can’t get blood out of taffeta, no matter how much you scrub.”

  “What fascinating life lessons you have to share,” said Lundy. “Both of you need to get back inside. It’s not safe out here.” Her eyes stayed on Nancy, cold and judgmental.

  Nancy shivered, trying not to let her unhappiness show. Her hand still bore down involuntarily on Kade’s arm, tightening. “All right,” she said. “We’ll see you at lunch.”

  They walked past Lundy, past the gleaming chandelier with its dusting of frozen tears, and up the stairway to the attic. Only when they were standing outside the door did Nancy allow her fingers to unclench and the shaking that had been threatening to overwhelm her to take over. She sank to the floor, pressing her back to the wall and pulling her knees up against her chest.

  Be still, she thought. Be still, be still, be still. But the shaking continued as her traitorous body betrayed her, trembling like a leaf in a hard wind.

  “Nancy?” Kade sounded alarmed. He knelt next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Nancy, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

  “She thinks I did it.” Her voice came out thin and reedy, but audible. She drew in a deep breath, forced her head away from her knees, and looked at Kade as she said, “Lundy thinks I did it. She thinks I’m the one who killed Sumi and Loriel. I come from a world full of ghosts. I’m closer to Jack and Jill than I am to anyone else here, and they’ve been here forever without killing anybody. But I show up, and people start dropping dead. Suspecting the new girl only makes sense. When the new girl doesn’t mind helping with the bodies, it becomes almost too easy. She thinks I did it, because anything else would be complicated and hard.”

  “Lundy thinks in stories,” said Kade, rubbing Nancy’s back soothingly. “She spent too long in the Goblin Market before she made her bargain. She has stories in her blood. You’re right about being the most logical suspect—new girl, no strong ties, came from an Underworld. You’re probably right about Lundy suspecting you. But you’re wrong if you think that Eleanor will let her hurt you. Eleanor knows you didn’t do it, just like I do. Now come on. I have a hot plate and a teapot in the attic. I can make you something hot to drink, soothe your nerves.”

  “Actually, I already made cocoa,” said Jack, opening the door and poking her head out. “Did you find my sister?”

  “No, didn’t you?” Kade looked over his shoulder and frowned. “I figured if we didn’t find her, you would. Did you check the dining hall?”

  “Yes, and the library, and the classroom we’re supposed to be in this time of day, just in case she’d been so absorbed in thinking about her hair that she hadn’t paid attention to what we were told to do,” said Jack. Her frustration seemed only skin-deep, a cover for her all-too-real concern. “She wasn’t in any of the places we looked. I was hoping you’d find her.”

  “Sorry.” Kade stood, offering Nancy his hand. “We looked, we didn’t find, we got a scolding from Lundy, and Nancy—”

  “Had a little cry when she realized Lundy suspected her,” finished Nancy, taking Kade’s hand and pulling herself to her feet. “I’m better now. As long as Eleanor doesn’t suspect me, I probably won’t be expelled. Let’s just stick together so that none of us gets hurt, and we’ll ride this thing out as a group.”

  “Huh,” said Jack, looking wistful. “I haven’t been part of a group since we left our old school. Now come on. Like I said, I made hot chocolate, and Christopher will drink it all if we leave him alone too long.”

  “I heard that!” called Christopher. Jack snorted and withdrew into the attic.

  Kade shot Nancy a worried look, which she answered with a smile and a reassuring squeeze of his hand before she let go and stepped into the attic ahead of him. As promised, the air smelled like hot chocolate. Christopher was sitting on one of the heaps of books, a mustache of whipped cream on his lip and a mug cupped in his hands. Jack was at the hot plate, fixing three more mugs. Kade raised an eyebrow.

  “Where did you find the whipped cream?” he asked.

  “You had milk, I had science,” said Jack. “It’s amazing how much of culinary achievement can be summarized by that sentence. Cheese making, for example. The perfect intersection of milk, science, and foolish disregard for the laws of nature.”

  “How did the laws of nature come into this?” asked Nancy, walking over to claim one of the mugs. The smell was alluring. She took a sip, and her eyes widened. “This tastes like…”

  “Pomegranate, I know,” said Jack. “Yours was made with pomegranate molasses. Christopher’s has a pinch of cinnamon, and Kade’s contains clotted cream fudge, which I stole from Miss Eleanor’s private supply. She’ll never notice. She has the stuff shipped over from England by the pound, and her next delivery is due in three days.”

  “What’s in yours?” asked Nancy.

  Jack smiled, holding her mug up in a silent toast. “Three drops of warm saline solution and a pinch of wolfsbane. Not enough to be dangerous to me—I’m human, despite what Angela might say to the contrary—but enough to make it taste like tears, and like the way the wind smells when it sweeps along the moor at midnight. If I knew the taste of the sound of screaming, I’d add that as well, and never drink anything again, as long as I chanced to live.”

  Christopher swallowed a mouthful of cocoa, shook his head, and said, “You know, sometimes I almost forget how creepy you are, and then you go and say something like that.”

  “It’s best if you remember my nature at all times,” said Jack, and offered Kade his mug.

  “Thank you,” he said, t
aking it from her and wrapping his long fingers around it.

  “Say nothing of it,” said Jack. Somehow, coming from her, it wasn’t politeness: it was a plea. Let this momentary kindness be forgotten, it said. Don’t let it linger, lest it be seen as weakness. Outwardly, all she did was twitch one corner of her mouth in a transitory smile. Then she turned, hands cupping her own mug, and moved to find a seat on the piles of books.

  “Isn’t this cozy?” Kade returned to what seemed to be his customary perch, leaving Nancy standing awkward and alone next to the hot plate. She looked around before heading for one of the few actual pieces of furniture, an old-fashioned, velvet-covered chair that was being encroached upon by the books, but hadn’t been swallowed yet. She sank down into its embrace, tucking her feet underneath her, hands still cupped around her mug.

  “I like it,” said Christopher, after it became apparent that no one else was going to say anything. He shrugged before he added, “The guys—uh, the other guys, I mean, not you, Kade—put up with me because there’re so few of us here, but they all went to sparkly worlds. They all sort of think where I went was weird, so I can’t talk to them about it much. They start insulting the Skeleton Girl and then I have to punch them in their stupid mouths until they stop. Not the best way to make friends.”

  “No, I suppose not,” said Jack. She looked down at her cocoa. “I had similar issues when I attempted to make friends with my fellow students. I gave up trying before Jill did. All they ever wanted to do was talk about how strange the Moors must have been, and how inferior to their own cotton-candy wonderlands. Honestly, I don’t blame them for thinking I could be a killer. I blame them for thinking I would have waited this long.”

  “And bonding just got creepy again,” said Christopher cheerfully, before taking a gulp of his hot chocolate. “Luckily for you, I’ll forgive anything for cocoa this good.”

 

‹ Prev