Fen settled between two stalagmites in the corner of the bathing room, the one place the cell signal still didn’t reach. At least he’d found a spot that wasn’t easy to see from the entrance. Though he could be tracked by anyone with even moderate skills, he was unlikely to be disturbed by accident. Unfortunately, it left him staring at the sealed door that kept the outpost safe from the rest of the cave system.
A small price to pay for the privacy.
Yeah, it was childish to hide in the corner sulking, but Fen couldn’t bring himself to care. Fury, pain, and shame had almost overtaken him, and he’d be damned even more if he allowed himself to break down in front of the others. They didn’t need to deal with the hot mess he’d become. Fuck, the only thing that would have been worse was if his mother had been there, too.
Fen closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the smooth stone, craving Earth’s soothing touch. He worked with the element daily—had never stopped—but he didn’t dare to truly merge with it anymore. The full depth of that connection was something else he’d lost to Kien. He couldn’t bear to reach for Earth’s heart after the poison he’d helped spread into its energy field.
How could he have let himself cross that line?
It wouldn’t have occurred to him at the beginning of Kien’s manipulation campaign. Their little group of neglected half-bloods had started with small things, and the first had been borne of shared hurt—the abandoned getting their revenge against those who had wronged them. But somehow, that had shifted to the weakness of humans and the malevolence of all other fae.
Your parents left you for your pathetic human blood, but so many of the fae are waiting to rule mankind. You think the Unseelie wouldn’t kill anyone in their path? Even the “kindly” Seelie would slaughter entire countries if they so desired, and the very fact they’ve come to the surface often enough to produce you means they’re considering a return. Disable the fae before they can do worse. Take control of the weaker humans. They’ll be better for your more reasoned rule.
The others had been all in, barely hesitating even after Kien showed the extent of his madness. But fear, not eagerness, had kept Fen in line. Wasn’t he a killer deep inside? He wasn’t sure when that certainty had begun, but it was before he’d been forced to fight for his life at Kien’s behest. That’s what had ultimately earned his cooperation. If he, who couldn’t even power his magic without blood, was a killer, then what atrocities would an Unseelie army commit?
But something else had countered that refrain, tempering his actions just enough to prevent his soul from become an irredeemable wreck. Memories. Sitting on a man’s lap—his father?—while hearing stories of a noble people. The kind touch of one of his foster mothers. Vek finding him when he was an idiotic, headstrong teenager and attempting to talk sense into him. Too bad Fen had bluffed his uncle into believing he was fine and leaving him alone.
It was probably for Vek that Fen had insisted the poison not be directed toward the Unseelie despite his fear of being a killer. Not that it had mattered since Kien had poisoned them anyway. He should have known better than to trust.
Would this ever stop haunting him?
With a soft curse, Fen wrenched his thoughts away from the maudlin past before he slipped further into despair. He tried his best to relax against the stone wall as he’d once done so often when he was alone and needing comfort. But he expected no response from the Earth—not anymore.
To his surprise, the cave’s welcome washed through him without conscious effort. Just like that. Unwittingly, Fen’s muscles loosened, and his body eased into the rock until he could almost merge with it. He hadn’t dared reach this far in years. What was going on? It was almost as though the Earth sensed his turmoil and sought him out, but that couldn’t be right. Could it?
Whispers of the cave’s past filled him. Sediments drifting in a languid sea, settling peacefully. Pressure. Endless pressure. Solidity. Water receding. Then almost-pain as the Earth shifted, folding stone until it reached into the sky. More water, this time trickling from above. Washing away bits and pieces, carving out holes in the mountain.
Upheaval that brought peace. Constant change that forever stayed the same.
Perhaps upheaval is necessary for life, young one.
Fen’s eyes popped open, and he jerked his mind free of the earth-connection as the words resounded in his head. That hadn’t been from Earth, and it sure as hell hadn’t come from him. He peered around the area, studying it visually and with magic, but no one was there. His gaze landed on the door leading out of the outpost proper. But despite the suspicion that filled him, he couldn’t find a single flaw in the shielding that would have allowed in an intruder’s thoughts.
He settled back against the stone again, but the peace was shattered. Maybe he was losing his mind. He certainly had cause to. Every time his life stabilized, something else happened to throw it into flux. His brain couldn’t even decide which problem to fixate on, though at least he’d been distracted from thinking about the bomb his uncle had just dropped on Fen’s potential mates.
Naturally, that was when he sensed Vek’s approach. So much for distractions.
Anger surged until Fen’s senses blurred with it. Fortunately, his uncle stopped in the corridor leading into the room. Was he simply checking to make sure Fen was okay, or did he hesitate because he knew he’d dropped off the edge of the map straight into Dickville? Vek had to realize that Fen wanted to kick his ass.
A scuffing sound and a hint of soft, familiar energy near the entrance caught his attention, and Fen froze at the sight of Anna entering the chamber. She approached the bathing pool, her attention focused on the water, but after a quick shake of her head, she spun away and headed along the path that led to Fen’s hiding place. Vek must have told her where to find him.
It figured.
Without a word, Anna sank down near him, her right knee almost touching his left. She glanced curiously around the chamber, a slight smile on her lips, and Fen’s throat closed at the easy, casual look on her face. He wanted to ask her what she thought of his uncle’s revelation. He longed to find out what she was feeling, but at the same time… Well, maybe it was better not to know.
She was just so good. It radiated from her, a purity that gleamed to his inner sight. She was the oak that grew resolutely beside the treacherous river. Her roots dug deep, pulling turbulent emotions from the world and cleansing them in her peace. Fen had been around her enough to know that she could undo him with a touch—if his darkness didn’t hurt her first. Didn’t she realize how risky it was to be around him?
“You shouldn’t be here,” he said gruffly.
Her smile widened. “Why? I have it on good authority that we could be mates. Yet here you are, moping in a cave instead of talking things through with me and Maddy.”
“I needed to think.” Fen huffed, though he was mostly frustrated at himself. Dammit, she was right. “I hadn’t decided what to say, and then Vek had to get his nosy ass involved. This isn’t something that should have been dropped on you like that.”
“I’m not delicate,” Anna countered, her smile disappearing. “People think I am, but they are wrong.”
“I wasn’t saying that you are.” Oak trees were beautiful, but they were most known for being strong. Not that he was going to share that analogy with her at the moment. “But you and Maddy are together. You’re solid. And I… Look, I’m bad news. Now that you both know the truth, you should go home and be happy. Forget about me.”
Anna nearly choked on her laugh. “Sure. Forget about you.”
“I’m serious,” he grumbled. “We might have spent a little time together lately, but we haven’t talked about my past. If Maddy told you any of it…”
She didn’t even flinch. Instead, her gaze softened. “Everyone makes mistakes.”
Why didn’t she get it? Fen tipped his head back against the stone and closed his eyes. He couldn’t watch her as he spoke, couldn’t see the horror creep acros
s her face. “I killed twelve people just a couple of weeks ago.”
He heard her suck in a harsh breath, but he didn’t dare look at her. Silence hummed around them, broken only by the occasional drip of water into the bathing pool. Fen expected her to flee at any moment, but her presence remained steady. He could barely resist the temptation to turn to her as he waited for a reaction.
Then her hand gripped his knee, her energy connecting with his as they finally touched. Even during the hours they’d spent together gaming, they’d never made physical contact, and the sensation… His entire body hardening at the beauty of her essence, he struggled to take in air. Anna wasn’t really purity or innocence—she was grace. Dear gods. She had to sense the darkness of his soul as he felt her light. She had to realize that even her forgiveness could only go so far.
“Why, Fen?” she whispered.
It took him a solid minute to figure out what she was asking. “Dria challenged my grandfather, the king of the Unseelie, to a duel of honor. When she stripped away the glamour hiding his true nature, he ordered his soldiers to break protocol and attack. To help Vek, I entered the fight.”
Her fingers tightened gently around his knee. “I would do the same if someone threatened Maddy or my parents. Well, okay, I would try. I’m no warrior.”
Fen finally cracked his eyes open a sliver. Damn. She was undaunted. “I didn’t even think about it, and I honestly don’t feel a lot of remorse. How fucked up is that?”
Anna frowned. “I don’t know what I’d feel, so I can’t judge.”
Seriously? It didn’t bother her at all? Fen straightened, surprising her into pulling her hand away. “I dug my fangs into their throats and tore.” He opened his mouth and pointed at one of the fangs in question. “These. Right here. I took their blood and sucked out their energy.”
Her eyes widened and her skin paled, but she didn’t run away screaming. “Unnecessarily graphic much? Dead is dead, Fen. I didn’t need to hear how you killed them.”
Fen let out a long, frustrated groan. “What is your deal? You act like you would consider mating with me, but you don’t even know me. Not really. How can none of what I said bother you?”
“Mostly because I can tell you’re saying it to bother me.” Anna tipped her chin up, revealing the stubborn tenacity hidden beneath her apparent gentleness. “Stop trying to scare me away to save me or some other such noble bullshit. You are feeling guilty about the people you killed, or you wouldn’t be talking about it. You wouldn’t be using it to push me away. I have no idea if I want to mate with you or anyone, but I’m not the one afraid to consider the possibility. Clearly, you are.”
Damn. He’d thought Maddy was direct. “I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff, and I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable sharing it. A mate deserves more.”
“You think you’re the only one who hides your problems?” Anna averted her gaze. “Sometimes I keep things from Maddy for her own good. Nothing so dark, but I think it’s in our nature to protect our loved ones. And lately…”
Concern drummed loudly in his ears. “Are you okay?”
Anna stared at the pool of water, and he noticed then how her body angled toward it as though connected. Almost forcefully, she turned her face away and met his eyes. “I nearly climbed a fence so I could walk into the river tonight. I had my foot on the rung when Maddy showed up, but she has no idea. I can’t tell her.”
“What?” This time, it was Fen who gripped her knee. “Has something upset you? Gods, it isn’t me, is it? Maddy would never leave you for—”
“No,” Anna said, her hand resting across his. “I’m not suicidal, but I appreciate the concern. It’s…it’s the water. I’m so drawn to it, but I don’t think it would hurt me. I don’t want to find out otherwise, though.”
“Why won’t you tell Maddy? She would understand.”
Anna’s cheeks puffed out with her sigh. “We have talked about it a little, but I’ve held back the worst. I thought I had everything under control. But after tonight, I’m going to have to say something. I just… Fen, she has to get this training on Moranaia. Do you think she’ll go if she’s worried about me drowning in the river? I don’t want her to miss this chance.”
It was a fair point. When Fen had been sick with the energy poisoning Kien had released upon his death, Maddy had attempted to help, but only he and Maddy knew how iffy it had been. For whatever reason, she could barely control her healing magic. She truly did need that training.
“You have my number, right?” Fen asked, bracing himself for her reaction. “I’ll help. Whatever happens with the mate thing, even if you and Maddy decide against bonding with me, I’ll help. If the pull gets too strong, you can hang with me. Vek’s house is up in the mountains. We’ll play video games and avoid the river.”
A smile broke across her face once more. “We’d better not start Death’s Curse 3 without Maddy, though, or she’ll kill us.”
“We can go buy another—”
Vek’s mind slammed into his with almost painful abruptness. “Get your ass back up here. We have a problem.”
Fen blinked. Truth be told, he hadn’t been paying attention to his uncle’s movements. When had he left the entrance to the bathing chamber? “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I don’t give a fuck. Get up here now. Bring Anna.”
As quickly as it had appeared, Vek’s presence was gone, and Fen focused on a bemused Anna. “My uncle just summoned me back to the top. Both of us, actually.”
She frowned down at his hands. “But you don’t have your phone.”
“Telepathically,” Fen explained. “Can’t you communicate that way?”
“I…” Anna shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Something to figure out later, I guess. We’d better go before Vek hauls us up there bodily.”
Though she chuckled, Anna rose gracefully to her feet as Fen fumbled his own way to a standing position. Prickles danced down his legs and gathered in his soles, and he stomped lightly to help the blood return. He’d meditated with the Earth more deeply than he’d realized if his limbs had fallen asleep. Ah, well. His feet would just have to hurt.
Vek had sounded worried, and that was never a good sign.
After disconnecting his consciousness from the stream, Meren stretched onto his back and let the cold water wash over him. His little expedition had drained his reserves, but it had been worth it. A smile crossed his lips as his body soaked in the energy swirling around him. The Moranaians thought they’d shielded their cavern, but they forever underestimated the tenacity of water.
It was true that he could no longer travel physically through the countless channels dripping and flowing through the stone. An inconvenience to be sure. But there was a spot where this stream flowed into the bathing chamber where he could push his thoughts close enough to pick up on conversations on the other side. As soon as he’d detected Fen drawing near, he’d sent his consciousness through the water to investigate.
So many of his plans failed that Meren had long ago learned to adapt. From secretly inciting a rebellion millennia ago in an attempt to overthrow the Seelie queen to manipulating the Unseelie king through a secret alliance with Ara, he’d often been required to wear away at his obstacles or go around them. He’d even fooled his so-called-brother Naomh into allowing Prince Kien to spread his poison through Earth’s energy and into the connected magical realms, all while Meren secretly used the illness for his own purposes.
Each attempt toward one goal: to claim the Seelie throne.
Hopefully, he hadn’t gone too far this time. Fen hadn’t detected his presence despite searching for the source of the whisper Meren had planted in his head. Even so, Meren had been forced to divert a fair amount of energy from cloaking his blood to shielding himself from the female Gwragedd Annwn. It would be a miracle if Vek hadn’t sensed him during the lapse, which meant he would have to hide far out of sight.
A small price for the knowledge he’d gained. So the
boy had a possible mate now, and one who was drawn to the river. Meren had been trying for nearly two decades to find a way to get the young Unseelie under his control so he would have leverage over Ara, the princess-turned-queen who’d lied about being his ally.
She would pay for that slight, if not directly then through her son Fen. And if Meren was careful, well… A Felshreh earth mage and his Gwragedd Annwn mate would make powerful friends.
Chapter 6
Maddy tapped one last note into her phone before turning it off and sticking it in her pocket. “Okay, I think I’m set for this visit. Tomorrow around mid-morning. You’re sure it won’t be a problem to keep an eye on Anna?”
“I see no problem—”
Dria stopped talking mid-sentence, her expression darkening, and Vek jerked to his feet. The scowl on his face combined with Dria’s reaction had Maddy’s heart pounding in her chest. There was a cruel, ruthless twist to Vek’s lips that she’d never seen. She’d thought she’d witnessed his darker nature when the outpost was under threat, but those times were nothing compared to this. What was going on?
“Fen and Anna are on their way up,” Vek said.
“How far away?” Dria asked as she twisted her shoulder-length red hair back and tied it. “Will we need a portal?”
Maddy’s brows furrowed. “A portal to find Fen and Anna?”
“No,” Vek answered, nostrils flaring. “Meren. I sensed him, but only for a moment. If I had to wager, I’d say he was in the camp his people had made in the adjacent mountain.”
That couldn’t be good. By all accounts, Meren had gone into hiding to escape the Seelie queen after he had tried to kill his own brother and then defied orders to send his minions to Earth’s surface. Not to mention dodging the deadly intentions of Vek, the Unseelie, and the Moranaians. Could the guy be that much of an idiot? Unless he’d found a lot of new allies, it didn’t make sense for him to hang around.
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