The women pulled apart, and they both looked his way, silently beckoning him to join them. Despite the threat, the tension emptied from his body as though a drain had been opened at the welcome in his mates’ eyes. No, he couldn’t live in the past. Not anymore. Whatever it took, whoever he had to defeat, Fen would move forward with them.
If they let him.
It felt perfectly natural to stand there holding Anna’s hands, yet Fen’s absence bothered Maddy, too. Yeah, she and Anna would be fine—if a little heartbroken—if Fen decided he didn’t want to be with them. That was a given. But that didn’t mean Maddy would be at her happiest. She would forever know that more could have filled her life. More love. More belonging. More everything.
Maddy held out her hand, and after frowning their way for a moment, Fen hurried to cross the space between them. He skidded to a halt beside them, his gaze stuck on her outstretched hand. Would he do it? Would he join them? Finally, he settled his palm against hers, and her shoulders went lax with relief.
Before anyone could say a word, Anna grabbed Fen’s other hand. “Didn’t my text say not to approach? What are you two doing out here?”
“Us? What were you thinking?” Fen blurted. “With Meren trying to—”
“It wasn’t him,” Anna was quick to interrupt. “The person in the river had insanely long hair, but this guy’s was short.”
That might have been enough to convince Anna, but Maddy knew better. “The Sidhe use glamour constantly, love. That could have been an illusion.”
Anna went pale. “I should have thought of that considering how often you use magic to hide your bad hair days.”
“Didn’t Anthony say that the man bothering him had just had a haircut?” Fen asked. “If that was Meren, too…”
Maddy frowned. Fen hadn’t mentioned a connection to Anthony. They clearly needed to sit down and talk through everything that had happened. In a safer place, of course.
“I realize that now, but I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time. It felt like a dream. I think he used magic to control me.” Anna shuddered, and Maddy grew alarmed at the fear in her love’s eyes. “Though maybe our friend has a new ally. This man gave me a different name, one I’ve never heard.”
“Don’t speak it here,” Maddy warned. Names had power, a lesson she’d been taught since childhood. If he was still close, he might feel the pull of it. “Let’s go back to Fen’s place. If that’s okay, Fen?”
Without a word, he gave a gentle tug on each of their hands, drawing them up against him in an epic hug. “More than.”
Maddy wrapped her arm around Fen’s waist, her arm brushing Anna’s as their girlfriend did the same, and settled her left ear against Fen’s chest. She and Anna shared a smile, content to enjoy the moment. Something had shifted, but she couldn’t say what. Only that it was good.
If the rest of the night went as she hoped, it might even be great.
For the first few minutes of the car ride, Anna was able to brood in silence. Not that time to ponder was the best thing in the world, considering the varied ways her body was knotting up with delayed reaction. How had the stranger gained control over her mind so easily? The only good thing out of the whole situation was that she hadn’t been entirely under his influence.
Really, her mind hadn’t been clear—truly clear—from the time Rianehd-or-Meren had walked in the door, but the full force hadn’t hit her until he’d touched her. It must have been that odd zing when he grabbed her arm. How could she have thought their kinship for water might have caused it? Though she hadn’t really been the one who’d considered that angle, had she?
Being controlled sucked.
“Stop beating yourself up,” Maddy finally said. “Before I regret riding back with you instead of Fen.”
“I’m not upset at myself, exactly. Mostly the situation.” Anna’s fingernails dug into the steering wheel. “But I admit Fen would have been better company.”
“Maybe,” Maddy retorted, reaching over to tuck a strand of Anna’s hair behind her ear. “But I thought we could use a few minutes alone. We haven’t had a chance to talk about how things went with Fen while I was gone.”
Latching on to the change of subject, Anna relaxed. “Great. I’m not sure what it is about Fen, but I love being around him. I mean, he has his downsides, of course, but I think…I think my feelings could really deepen.”
Maddy’s hand settled on Anna’s shoulder. “I thought about you both while I was gone. Is that strange? I don’t want you to think I’d like to replace you or anything.”
“I don’t.”
Anna followed Fen’s car into the driveway and parked while he continued into the garage. They wouldn’t have long before the moment ended, and Anna wanted to meet Maddy’s eyes while she could. Her girlfriend’s gaze was as soft and loving as ever, though a hint of worry marred it.
“Have you…” Maddy swallowed. “Have you decided on what you want?”
“Yes, I have.” Anna lifted her left hand to cover Maddy’s. “I want both of you. I think we should do this. What about you? I’ve had a brief polyam relationship before, but you haven’t. It can be an adjustment to have two equal partners instead of just one.”
Maddy took a quick breath and let it out in a huff. “I know. I wouldn’t be able to put one of you above the other, and that’s huge. But…I believe I’m there, Anna. We should go for it.”
Anna leaned forward and brushed her lips against Maddy’s. “Think we’ll be able to convince Fen anytime this decade?”
Maddy laughed. “Here’s hoping.”
Someone tapped against the window, and Anna turned to offer a reassuring smile at Fen, who peered in anxiously from the other side. The poor guy had no clue they’d been talking about him, but he would soon enough. Well, after they discussed the mystery stranger.
Fun times.
They were all silent as they climbed the staircase to the second-floor living room. Anna plopped down on the couch, Maddy settling on the other side. Fen hesitated for a moment, and if the thought of the Meren-or-Rianehd discussion hadn’t soured her mood, Anna would have been amused by the way he glanced between the two and then at the empty space between.
“Yes, I left that for you,” Maddy said impatiently. “Are you going to sit?”
One corner of Fen’s mouth lifted. “I don’t know. It seems like I’m coming between you. You guys can still cuddle when I’m here.”
Maddy chuckled. “Sure. But I was sort of hoping we could all get a cuddle, and it would be awkward as hell with you on the outside since you’re the biggest and tallest. I am not going to let you sit on my lap so you can touch Anna, too.”
“Same,” Anna said, and the mental image eased some of her bad mood. “So how about we lay things out really quick? If Maddy and I want to snuggle, kiss, or have sex with just the two of us, we do, but the same goes between you and Maddy or you and me. Or we can all be together at the same time. Anyone who feels like they aren’t getting enough attention should say so, because if we try to keep some kind of scoreboard, we’ll all go nuts. Sound fair?”
Predictably, Maddy nodded first. Fen would need at least another minute or two to angst over it. “Talking about issues,” Maddy said. “Revolutionary.”
That jogged Fen out of his mope enough for him to finally sit down between them. “Okay, okay. I worry too much. But I was thinking earlier… If we do this, I’m making it my life’s mission to be worthy of you both.”
Anna smiled as Maddy settled against Fen’s side and tapped her finger against his leg. “Don’t act like a martyr, Fen. Me and Anna aren’t angels looking for a supplicant.”
As Fen finally curved his arm around Maddy’s shoulders, Anna tucked herself beneath his other shoulder. “Yep. Not much angelic thinking here. Anyway, we all make mistakes. I might have just met with the guy trying to kill you. A can of mace against an ancient Sidhe lord. Brilliant, right?”
Fen’s chest vibrated against her cheek. “You had mace?”
<
br /> “Hey, better than nothing.” Anna rested her hand on his waist and then shivered when Maddy’s hand settled over hers. “I was thinking about the whole thing on the drive over. He tried to control me, but it didn’t entirely succeed. I managed to fight through the haze enough to send a text and to think of the mace. For the most part, it’s like most of my resistance fled.”
“Sounds like a glamour that didn’t quite work,” Maddy said. “They aren’t always just for looks. My father tried to teach me to use them in case I ever got in trouble, but I never could master them. Best I can do reliably is mask the appearance of something.”
“What name did the guy give you?” Fen asked, his voice rumbling against her ear.
Anna furrowed her brow in thought. “Something like…REE-ahh-ned ar-sed?”
“Arse?” Fen laughed. “He had ‘arse’ in his name?”
But Maddy sat bolt upright, her face going pale. “Was it ‘a Orsed’?”
“Yes!” Anna answered, and a sick feeling rose up her throat at Maddy’s look of horror. “Is that bad?”
Maddy swallowed. “Orsed was the name of the Seelie king just before Queen Tatianella, his only child. At least as far as anyone knows. But ‘a Orsed’ means ‘child of Orsed.’ Whoever you spoke to is claiming to be the son of a king. In fact, your stranger’s given name sounds uncomfortably like a mixture of the Sidhe words for ‘unknown or hidden king.’”
Crap.
Fen groaned. “That can’t be good. As much as I hate to admit it, we should go talk to Vek. His old ass might know something about a hidden son.”
Anna pulled away from Fen, shifting so she could see both his and Maddy’s expressions clearly. “Okay. But I have a question first.”
“Can’t it wait?” Maddy asked impatiently. “I should call my father before we head to the outpost. This is important.”
Anna frowned at her. “If this guy is thousands of years old, then he’s been in hiding a hell of a long time. I don’t think a few minutes’ delay is going to make much of a difference.”
Maddy’s shoulder’s slumped, but she nodded.
“Fen.” Anna took a bracing breath and plunged forward before she could second-guess herself. “The Felshreh mate bond… Does it allow mates to sense each other? Communicate silently and such?”
For a moment, the only sound filling the room came from the speed boat zooming down the river outside the window, and worry seeped in to replace bravery. But finally, Fen nodded. “Yeah. Vek used it to track Dria when she was kidnapped, and I know they sense each other’s moods and stuff. It seemed to give Dria a limited ability to pull power from Vek, but I don’t know if she would be able to find him through the link since she’s not Felshreh. Umm. Why?”
“We’ve been circling around this a lot, but…” Anna twisted her fingers together. “I think we should do it. Mate. Well, if we’re all on board. Why wait when it could give us an advantage?”
Fen stood, knocking Maddy’s hand from his leg, and paced across the room. Anna winced. She didn’t dare look at Maddy to see how she was reacting, considering Fen shoved his fingers through his hair and twisted as he marched back toward them. Her girlfriend probably wasn’t taking his obvious distress any better.
Had she ruined everything?
Chapter 23
The words welled up before Fen could stop them. “No. No fucking way.”
Anna flinched, and anger flashed across Maddy’s face as she jerked to her feet. “You don’t have to be such an asshole about it.”
“I didn’t…” Fen tugged at his hair, the pinch in his scalp helping to dispel the panic circling in his head. “I’m sorry. It’s not mating with you that’s the problem. It’s the circumstances. I am not going to do this because it’s expedient. Vek once told me that he worried Dria chose to mate out of necessity, and I refuse to spend my life wondering the same.”
Maddy’s eyes narrowed. “Anyone can tell that Dria adores your uncle.”
“She didn’t at first.” Fen dropped his hands from his hair and stepped closer. “They were going to have to search the cave system for intruders when Vek was low on energy, and if he’d taken Dria’s blood to gain power, he would have bound them before she could start her people’s bonding process. I’m not sure he’s ever admitted to Dria how much it bothered him to mate under those conditions. Do you think I want to do the same?”
“It’s not the same at all,” Maddy snapped. “We’ve been getting closer to each other for a while now, little as any of us wanted to admit it. You’re such an idiot. I was already—”
“Stop it!” Anna stood, and the pain filling her eyes made Fen’s heart tumble. “We don’t need to argue, okay? If Fen’s not ready, then he’s not.”
Maddy sniffed. “We should go.”
How could he be so perfect at botching things? Fen extended his arm when Maddy started forward and prayed she wouldn’t shove him out of the way and keep going. “Please, don’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that either of you were close to deciding, so it caught me by surprise. It’s not that I’m not ready. But if you’re just wanting a safety net in case one of us gets kidnapped…”
“Do you want me to knock him unconscious?” Maddy muttered to Anna. “Because I know I can do that fairly reliably.”
No hint of Anna’s emotions showed on her face as she studied Fen. “Nah. He’d probably just assume he deserved it.”
Fen had to snicker at that.
Yeah, she’d gotten to know him really well.
Anna eased closer to him until she could reach out and touch his chest. If she wanted to. “You know, Fen, it would be useful to be able to sense each other, if Maddy and I even get that benefit. No denying that. But I’d already decided I wanted a formal bond with you both. You fit. We fit. The timing doesn’t make a difference to me.”
“This isn’t a small commitment,” Fen said bluntly. “Not even Vek knows if it can be broken completely. He told me that in one of the triads he’d seen, the link remained between the remaining two after the third person died. And none of us knows how long we’ll live since we’re all part human. The two of you obviously do well together, but either of you could be stuck with me for centuries if the other died.”
Maddy shrugged. “And you could be stuck with me. I’m grumpy before coffee, annoyingly cheerful at random intervals, and possibly unable to use my magic without killing people.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with my water powers,” Anna added. “Or if I have family somewhere who would teach me. I’m a homebody who would rather stay home than go out around people, and there’s a lot I don’t know about the fae world. None of that changes how I feel.”
Fen wanted to believe that, but it was a struggle. “I’ve never been anything but an annoyance,” he found himself murmuring. “Someone convenient and ready to use but not valued. It’s hard to imagine being chosen. Desired. Before you and Vek, the only person who wanted me around was Kien, and we know how that turned out.”
Anna’s mouth curved into a soft smile. “Do I look like a murderous maniac to you?”
“We all have issues, Fen,” Maddy said as she stomped the rest of the way to Anna’s side. “But if you compare me to that sick fuck again in any shape, form, or fashion, I will kick your ass.”
“I hadn’t meant to in the first place,” Fen said, wincing. “It’s obviously not the same situation, but—”
“If you really want to rise above the stuff that has happened to you, start acting instead of reacting. Find these traitorous little thoughts and stomp them out.” For the first time, Maddy’s expression softened. “I’ve had to do a lot of that myself. All of us have.”
As the depth of that statement sank in, Fen flushed. He really had been self-absorbed, hadn’t he? Anna was wrestling with the discovery of her fae blood and all that entailed, and Maddy had just traveled to another world to try to train a gift she’d almost killed people with. Yet here he was, angsting about the same shit all over again when he’
d already decided to move forward with his life. Too bad decision didn’t automatically create habit.
“You’re right,” he said.
Getting over bad things didn’t mean ignoring them, and it didn’t mean they’d gone away. It was a matter of changing focus—of not letting the past win. The acknowledgement of that fact rushed through him, unlocking the parts of himself he’d been too afraid to reveal. Dammit, he wasn’t tainted. He might walk the line between light and dark, but in the twilight, there was magic.
Fen took Maddy’s and Anna’s hands and pulled them closer as he had in the park. Fen lowered his head until their foreheads touched, a triangle almost formed. “I’m ready to do this if you are. You have to be sure about forever.”
“I am. Obviously,” Anna said, and her chuckle flowed between them. “Hope you wash dishes.”
Maddy laughed. “Between me and Fen, we can surely cover it. I’m in. But what are we supposed to do?”
Frowning, Fen eased back. “I have to take a taste of your blood, but I’m not sure if there’s any particular order? Or maybe together? I guess I could call Vek and ask him, but after telling him I could figure stuff out on my own…”
“Hold on,” Anna said, darting away to the kitchen and opening several of the drawers. “I know we bought knives, but I’m not sure where you put them.”
Fen laughed. “I have fangs, love.”
“But if Maddy and I cut our palms and mingle the blood, it might work better.”
“You’ve watched too many movies.” Fen wrinkled his nose. “The palm is a terrible place to cut yourself. It’s one of the most sensitive places on your body. How about you give me your hands, and I’ll find a good spot on the top.”
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