by S. A. Moss
I stopped short. This was a much different Council than the one I’d met the first time. They looked more flustered, more exhausted, more… human. I couldn’t like the circumstances that had brought about this shift, but I had to admit, I liked them better this way.
Arcadius cleared his throat, and I realized I hadn’t taken all this in instantly. Instead, I’d been staring at them all for several long beats, lost in my thoughts. He looked at me pointedly. “What do you need, Cam? And dare I ask where Alex is?”
“He’s safe. Asha and Arjun are with him.” I saw Adele lean forward slightly, her mouth turning down into a frown, and I continued on before she could speak. “I came to take you up on your offer.”
Sada shared a glance with Owen as they both straightened.
“What offer?” she asked.
“Well, maybe I should’ve said threat.” I shrugged. “Arcadius told me that if I didn’t start keeping myself better hid from humans, he was going to pull me off Alex’s assignment and station me here.” I turned my head to meet his gaze. He stepped away from the fire, watching me carefully. “Well, I accept. I still think you’re wrong about keeping all this a secret from humans, and I don’t agree to follow your rules. So assign someone else to Alex, and find me something useful to do here.”
Adele let out an indignant gasp. I assumed she didn’t actually object to taking me off Alex’s assignment, but she was clearly offended that I dared to speak to Arcadius this way. Well, let her grouse all she wanted. I had some choice words for her too, if she’d like to hear them.
Sada sank down into her large chair, regarding me with motherly concern. “Camille, all of us on the Council agree that it’s best for everyone if we keep our existence concealed from humans. We know you haven’t always been successful at that, but we’re willing to overlook a few mistakes—especially in these extenuating circumstances. We’re facing a threat unlike any we’ve ever encountered before.”
I shook my head firmly. “They weren’t all mistakes. And next time I show myself to humans, it will absolutely be on purpose.” My voice softened, and I met Arcadius’s eyes. “Come on, Arcadius. This is what you wanted, right? I’m admitting I’m in over my head, and stepping back to let the big kids take over. I’m not strong enough to beat my father. You guys can handle this without me. You’ll still have Alex, don’t worry—I doubt anybody could pry him away from this fight with a crowbar.”
The room fell silent. Adele had a slight smirk on her face, but Sada regarded me sadly while Owen’s gaze bounced back and forth between her and Arcadius.
Arcadius crossed his arms, staring me down for what felt like an eternity. I did my best not to wilt under his stony gaze. He couldn’t judge me as a coward when this was what he’d wanted all along. And I wasn’t abandoning the fight. Just coming at it from a different angle.
Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that, Cam.
It took so long for Arcadius to speak that I’d almost talked myself into taking it all back, running back to Alex, and vowing to do whatever it took to be together. But every time I started to open my mouth, the word dust echoed in my mind and I clamped by jaw shut again. This was for the best.
Finally, Arcadius looked to the three Council members gathered around the table. “What say you?”
“Yes. Bring her in.” Adele spoke up immediately, and I couldn’t help but shoot her a glare. That was the answer I wanted, but I didn’t like how gleeful she was about my obvious failure.
Arcadius shifted his attention to the other two, and I followed his gaze.
Owen shook his shaggy head. “I don’t—” He broke off with a scowl when Sada touched his arm. Then he threw his hands up. “Fine. I don’t understand why, but all right.”
Sada met my eyes and nodded once, slowly.
That was three out of four. And I already knew Arcadius’s vote.
He turned to me, and although I expected to see triumph in his eyes too, I just saw a weariness that seemed thousands of years old.
“It’s settled. We’ll find you a new assignment here.” A small, sad smile lifted one corner of his mouth before he added, “Pearl will be delighted.”
30
I left the Council chamber with a high head and a sinking stomach. I knew there were good reasons for what I’d done, but part of me had never expected the Council to accept my resignation from Alex’s case, especially given the current situation.
But who was I kidding? I’d ended up at the center of this whole thing because the guy I’d been assigned to protect had a power that could help swing the tide of victory our way. That, and the totally random fact that I was one of the few Guardians lucky enough to avoid being snatched by the Fallen in the first wave of roundups.
There was nothing intrinsically special about me, nothing I could bring to this fight that another, more seasoned Guardian couldn’t probably do faster and better. Like Arcadius had said, I was a baby trying to hold my own among giants. When I first became a Guardian, I was too overwhelmed to even know what I didn’t know. And now that I was beginning to get a glimpse of everything I had yet to learn, self-doubt gripped me like a cold fist.
I walked slowly down the stone hallway, looking out the window at the twisted trees and vines encroaching on the perimeter of the castle keep. It almost looked like the Haven was trapped in quicksand, as if at any moment the dark, creeping jungle of the Wild could suck the whole place under.
Chaos barely held at bay. That described the Haven perfectly.
My forward momentum had slowed to a stop as I stared out the window, and I flinched as someone jostled me. Two Guardians rushed by in the opposite direction, probably heading to the Council room I’d just left. I watched them round the corner, feeling useless. The Council had assured me there was important work to be done here, and that keeping the Haven safe was a worthy task. But at the moment, their focus was entirely on the looming threat of the Fallen, and they’d dismissed me without giving me any real assignment.
I thought about trying to find the room Pearl had brought me to when I’d first come here, but the idea of sitting still made my skin itch. So instead, I wandered the halls, searching for the training room. I had only a vague idea of where it was, but after several wrong turns, I pushed open a heavy door and hissed in a breath.
Oh, yeah. This is it.
There was a large open space in the middle, and one entire wall was taken up by an array of weapons—swords, knives, spears, even a few axes. I was surprised Guardians would bother with weaponry, given the supernatural powers we possessed. But then again, I’d started to get the impression not all Guardians could manipulate aether as easily I could. Maybe some preferred to do their fighting the old-fashioned way. And considering the age of an average Guardian, it seemed likely that at least some of them had used these kinds of weapons when they were alive.
I chuckled. I had no trouble at all picturing Owen running into battle, wielding a giant axe in each hand.
The weapon rack drew me like a magnet, and I ran my fingers lightly over the dangerous looking implements. They didn’t seem to be dulled down at all for practice, which I guess made sense. If your sparring partner couldn’t die, why bother with a blunted blade?
There was large collection of swords of different sizes and shapes, but my gaze landed on a rack of thin daggers. I kept a similar one in my boot, a gift from Pearl. That was about all I was qualified to handle in the deadly blade department, and besides, walking around Chicago with a giant sword strapped to my back would draw all the wrong kind of attention.
I drew one of the daggers, giving it a small test flip in my hand. I actually managed to catch the handle on the return, and I grinned. My gaze settled on the large wooden panel across the room covered in hatch marks and cuts.
Squaring up, I shook my neck out then drew the dagger back over my shoulder and hurled it toward the wooden target.
The entire length of the blade hit the surface of the target almost flat on, bouncing off and clattering no
isily to the floor.
Huh. Well, that was just a warm-up.
I darted over to retrieve the dagger, then returned to my original position. This time I did a few slow practice arcs with the dagger, trying to figure out the exact right point to release it. When I finally let go, it flipped end over end in an extremely satisfying way, hurtling toward the target. This time the blade was almost pointing forward when it hit, but it was off by just enough that it rebounded and fell to the floor again.
I swore softly, grabbing the dagger again. This would probably go better if I had someone to teach me.
I bet Alex would be—
I cut that thought off before it could fully form, my hand tightening on the handle.
Let it go, Cam. Let him go.
When I threw again, my hand was shaking and my brain felt mushy, images of Alex popping through the mental blocks I tried to erect.
But the solid thunk of the dagger lodging deeply into the wood snapped me back to attention.
I blinked.
The handle of the dagger quivered slightly, and the tip of the blade was buried a couple inches into the target.
Grinning, I strode across the room and grabbed the handle, bracing my other hand against the wood as I pulled the dagger free.
“Camille Prentice!”
Pearl’s sharp voice made me jump, and I fumbled and dropped the dagger.
She stormed into the room, her face scrunched up and her blue eyes flashing with anger. “Did you leave Alex?”
I fell back a step under the force of her tiny British wrath. “I—”
“Don’t bother trying to deny it. Owen told me. You left him!” She stalked toward me.
Trying to regain my equilibrium, I bent and picked up the dagger, standing to face her as she reached me. “I didn’t leave him alone. Asha and Arjun are with him. He’s probably safer now than he was with me.”
Her hand whipped out, slapping the flat of the blade and knocking dagger out of my hand. I yelped in surprise as it skittered across the floor, coming to rest against the opposite wall.
“Oh, is he?” Pearl huffed. “And what did you have to do that was so important you abandoned him? A bit of urgent target practice called you away?”
I gawped at her, trying to get my brain and mouth to align well enough to put together a smart retort. “I didn’t—he’s not—”
“And what about your assignment?” She blazed on as if I hadn’t even spoken. “You were given a job to do, and you’re leaving it half-finished!”
“I’ll find another way to be useful. I can still help fight the Fallen,” I argued lamely.
“Ah, yes. Cam Prentice, dagger thrower and quitter extraordinaire!” Pearl gestured grandly, scowling at me.
“Hey!” My brain had finally cleared out the fog, and now I was a little mad myself. “That’s not true!”
Pearl straightened, staring at me intently for a few beats. When she spoke again, her voice was softer, but her words were just as cutting. “Do you care about him?”
“Pearl, that’s not the—”
“Do you?” she insisted.
Unable to bear her intense stare, I crossed the room to pick up the dagger from the floor. I could hear her impatient footsteps behind me. When I turned to set the blade back in the rack, I almost bumped into Pearl, she was standing so close.
Her eyebrows shot up in question, her hands landing on her hips.
Grimacing, I stepped around her. Pearl was my friend, probably my best friend in the Haven. But that didn’t give her the right to question every stupid decision I made.
As I placed the dagger next to its mates, a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I stiffened.
“You do,” Pearl said, her voice soft. The blaze of anger she’d entered on already seemed to have died out, replaced by a quiet sadness. “I knew it. He cares about you too. Anyone with eyes can see that. So why did you leave him?”
I drooped. “It doesn’t matter if I care about him. It doesn’t change what I am, or what he is. Nothing can ever come of it.”
“So you’re running away?” She tsked through her teeth. “Seems like the coward’s way out to me.”
My head snapped up, the last vestiges of self-pity burning away in a wave of anger. Spinning on my heel, I glared at her.
“I’m a coward, huh? What about you and Arcadius? I’m pretty sure anybody with eyes can tell you two have it bad for each other. And he’s not even human! You’re both immortal! Unlike me and Alex, you two could actually be together. So where’s your grand gesture to him, huh?”
Pearl gave an offended gasp, then pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “That is not the same.”
“Ha!” I pointed a finger at her accusingly. “It’s exactly the same, you big British scaredy-cat. You don’t get to call me a coward unless you admit that we are both walking together down Coward’s Lane!”
Cheeks flaming, Pearl opened her mouth to respond when a movement in the doorway caught her eye. She whipped her head around, and I followed her gaze to see Arcadius walk into the room.
He raised an eyebrow at our obviously tense stances. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, fine,” I lied. “We were just discussing my, uh, reassignment.”
“Ah.” He nodded, his brow furrowing. Then he shifted his attention from me to the fuming British spitfire next to me. “Pearl, we need you in the Council room. We’re going to organize—”
He broke off as she marched toward him determinedly, confusion clouding his features. I barely had time to register what she was doing before she reached him, placed her hands on the sides of his face, rose up on her tiptoes, and crashed her lips into his.
Arcadius’s whole body jerked with surprise, but Pearl kept her hold on his face as she pressed their lips together, and after a second his hands reflexively gripped her waist. His body relaxed and his arms tightened around her, pulling her in closer.
My jaw just about hit the floor, and after another few seconds of the intense kiss, I started to wonder if I should look away to give them privacy or keep staring to make sure this was actually happening.
I’d just about settled on give them some damn privacy, Cam, you perv, when Pearl pulled away from Arcadius. His lips were slightly red, and for the first time since I’d met him, he looked… rumpled. His eyes had a dazed quality, and when Pearl stepped back, his arms fell limply at his sides.
“I’ll meet you in the Council room,” Pearl said sweetly, and he gave a jerk of his head that was probably meant to be a nod.
On her way out door, she turned to me, raising her eyebrows and giving a triumphant little shrug. The message was as clear as if she’d shouted it across the room. Your move.
Great.
I was now treading the lonely path of Coward’s Lane all by myself.
As Pearl swept out of the room with her nose in the air, my gaze darted to Arcadius. Despite my anger and frustration, it took everything I had to stifle the laugh that burbled up. It looked like Pearl had taken most of his brain cells with her when she left.
Arcadius cleared his throat, drawing himself up to his full height and attempting to regain his composure. He opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to decide against it. His chiseled jaw snapped shut. With slightly uncoordinated movements, he turned and left the room.
I stared after his retreating form, jaw still sagging.
“All right, Pearl, you win,” I finally muttered, a soft chuckle bursting from my lips. “Go, girl.”
But as I turned back to the weapons rack, a twinge of jealousy ran through me, followed by a wave of sadness so intense it shocked me.
Pearl was right. Our situations weren’t the same.
Whatever fears or rules or doubts had kept Pearl and Arcadius from acting on their feelings, they were surmountable obstacles.
But mortality versus immortality?
That was an obstacle I didn’t see any way around.
31
Without quite thinking about it, my f
ootsteps followed a path to one of the only places I knew in the Haven. Leaving the training room, I threaded my way through several hallways and down a set of stairs, stepping out onto the raised stone walkway that led to the Seer’s tower.
Wind whipped my hair as a sulfurous smell hit my nose. The sky above was dim, although it was technically daytime. The three suns that shone here were more like moons, and daylight looked like dusk.
As I walked across the stone bridge to the base of the tower, I glanced out at the landscape around me. I kept expecting to see the towering cliffs and crags of the Fallen tower, but I had to remind myself it could be anywhere out there in the Wild. The Haven wasn’t actually located in downtown Chicago—for all I knew, Chicago’s equivalent location in the Shroud was thousands of miles away from where I stood. It made me feel even more removed from what was going on there, and I felt a sudden pang as I wondered if Alex had realized yet that I wasn’t coming back.
Shaking off the urge to run back to the portal to Chicago, I quickened my pace toward the Seer’s tower.
The door was heavy, but it wasn’t locked. I hadn’t been able to remember if Pearl had used a key when she’d taken me here the first time, but it made sense that none was needed. Arcadius had said the Haven was shielded from the Fallen.
I stepped into the dark tower and started my trek up the winding stairs to the room at the top. I’d headed this way without thinking, but with each step I took, I became more and more anxious to talk to the Seer. When I had first showed up here, overwhelmed and scared, she’d been the one to set me on the path I was currently traveling. When she’d assigned me to Alex, had she known what he could do? Had she known I would reveal myself to him? Had she seen the feelings developing between us?
