by E. L. Todd
“I know. I’m sorry.” His voice was shaking. “I was walking down an alley when a street light came on. Now I can’t move. They’re going to get me…” Fear was heavy in his voice.
I eyed Aspen, who was watching people pass on the sidewalk, and then turned my back on her and lowered my voice. “I can’t just leave right now.”
“I know…I’m sorry. But I can’t move. I’m stuck, Rhett.”
“No, you aren’t,” I hissed into the phone. “Get up and walk away.”
“I can’t…” It came out as a shaky whisper.
“Chase, you can do this,” I said firmly. “Get up and start walking. Just go. Keep your eyes closed.”
“Please come get me,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry for calling. I wouldn’t unless I had to…”
I pinched the bridge of my nose then rubbed the area between my eyebrows. A part of me wanted to desert him and force him to figure out the situation on his own, but the other part of me was terrified something would happen to my brother. He would be mugged or beaten. If he was in an alleyway, he wasn’t safe. “Where are you?”
Relief came into his voice. “On the left side of the Chinese place we always go to.”
“I’m on my way. Just stay calm.” I hung up then turned to Aspen.
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. “Is everything alright?”
“No…” I couldn’t believe I was going to screw her over like this. I hated myself. But I couldn’t leave my brother. No matter what I decided, I abandoned someone I cared about. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Surprise filled her eyes.
“My brother needs help…it’s a long story.” I knew she would be mad and tell me it was wrong for me to walk away. She paid good money for my time, and I was turning my back on her. It would piss off anyone.
“Is he okay?”
I did a double take. Did she just ask that? “I have to get him. Then he’ll be okay.”
“Let’s go.” She grabbed my arm. “Where is he?”
Wait…what? “What about your dinner?”
“I’ll call Dad and tell him I had an emergency. I’ll put the blame on myself so he won’t dislike you.”
I couldn’t believe she was being so understanding about this. What I was doing wasn’t fair to her at all but she didn’t seem to care. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she said in an irritated voice. “Now let’s go to your brother. He needs you.”
She wanted to come with me? I didn’t want her to know I had a crazy brother but I couldn’t ditch her then tell her she couldn’t come with me. “This way.”
When we reached the Chinese restaurant, we turned the corner into the alleyway. Aspen looked around like she wasn’t sure what we were doing there. It was dark except for one bright streetlamp. It flooded the area between the two buildings, shining right where Chase sat against the wall, curled in a fetal position.
“Ohmygod,” Aspen said when she saw him. “Is he hurt?”
I ran over to Chase then touched his arm. “Chase, it’s me.”
He didn’t remove his arms from covering his head. “Do you have the sword?”
Aspen stopped alongside us and watched our interaction.
“I got it,” I said. “They won’t hurt you. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?” Chase whispered. “They’re about to swarm in…”
“You’re safe,” I said. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Aspen kneeled down then rested her hand on his leg. “It’s alright, Chase.”
He flinched. “Who is that?”
“Aspen,” I said. “She’s my friend, not a shadow.”
He relaxed. “Okay…”
“Now get up.” I pulled his arm from his head. “You’re sitting in an alleyway of New York City. There’s probably pigeon vomit under you.” I tried to lighten the mood by making him laugh.
Chase groaned like he was in pain.
“Come on, man.” I pulled his arms down then started to pull him up.
Aspen stepped out of the way.
Chase slowly came to his feet then leaned against my shoulder like he was a wounded soldier. “Get me out of here.”
I supported his weight with mine then walked him out of the alleyway.
Aspen came on the other side of him then put her arm around his waist.
“They’re coming,” Chase said to me.
“No, they aren’t,” I said firmly.
We made it around the corner and to the sidewalk. Neon lights were displayed over the buildings but there were no streetlights. There were no noticeable shadows anywhere.
“Chase, you can open your eyes now.”
He popped one eye open then looked around. Then he relaxed and walked forward. He kept his arm around my shoulder like he still needed me. He was still shaken up over something he didn’t actually see.
When we entered the building, I turned off the lights every time we reached a new floor so he wouldn’t cower. We couldn’t take the elevator since there was no way to dim the lights. We finally reached his apartment then walked inside.
Chase slammed the door and locked it. “Shit, that was close.”
His apartment was illuminated with black light. All the counters were outlined with a road like marker, and the floors had lights that directed his way through the apartment. Various glow-in-the-dark orbs illuminated enough light to distinguish the inside of the apartment without casting shadows.
Aspen must think he’s a freak.
Chase moved to his refrigerator then pulled out a beer. He downed it in a minute then left the bottle on the counter.
“What were you doing?” I asked.
“Just picking up dinner.”
“Why did you go that way?” I asked.
“There were no lights.”
I tried not to snap. “Chase, it’s dangerous to go down alleyways. I’ve said this to you a million times. There are worse things than shadows. People will mug you and hurt you. Don’t you understand that?”
“I’m always careful,” he argued.
“By cowering like a child?” I snapped. “I could have pickpocketed you and you wouldn’t have done anything.”
“It’s just money and a few credit cards,” he said.
“My money. My credit cards.” My voice grew louder than I meant to. “But nothing is more important than your life. This stupid fear needs to stop.”
“Give me a break,” Chase said. “It only happens once in a while.”
“You only need to be in the wrong place at the wrong time once,” I snapped.
He turned away and sighed.
“I’m not done talking to you.”
He turned back to me with a resigned expression on his face.
“I’m working right now. You can’t just call me and ask me to be at your beck and call like that. I’m supporting both of us, in case you forgot.”
“You never let me forget,” he said quietly.
I took a deep breath and let the anger wash away. Screaming and yelling wouldn’t change anything. That wasn’t the best way to go about it. I came closer to him. “I’m sorry…you just scare me sometimes. I’m afraid…” I couldn’t even get the words out.
“I know.” He stared at the ground for a moment before he looked at me again. “I’ll be more careful.”
“You know you can always call me, even if I’m working. But…Chase you need help.”
He shook his head. “I’m not going to a hospital.”
“Not a hospital,” I said. “It’s just a place where they help you.”
“With shadows,” he argued. “What’s the point in them helping me when I’m dead?”
Chase was intelligent and highly logical, but when it came to this irrational phobia, he couldn’t see straight. It was like I was talking to a completely different person. In any other scenario, he was fearless and brave. But when a bright light came on, he was terrified. “Shadows can’t hurt you. They have no physical form. I’ve told you that.”<
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He crossed his arms over his chest then shifted his weight.
“Take the Shadow Sword,” I said. “It will protect you.”
“No, you’re meant to have that,” he said. “I can’t just take it.”
“Yes, you can.” It was something I made up but he thought it was real.
“No. It was given to you, not me. It doesn’t work that way.”
“What doesn’t work that way?” I demanded.
“A shadow fighter can only be a shadow defeater if he’s chosen. You were chosen, Rhett.”
I rubbed my temple and sighed. Aspen definitely thought Chase and I were freaks. “Just be careful from now on.”
“Okay,” Chase said. “Want to watch TV?” He said it like everything was totally normal.
“No.” I turned to Aspen. “I guess now is the time to make introductions… Aspen, this is my brother Chase. Chase, this is my friend Aspen.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Aspen shook his hand.
“You too,” he said brightly. “Sorry I ruined your night. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t ruin our night,” Aspen said. “We’re just glad you’re okay.”
Any other girl would have stormed out and screamed in terror.
“You want a beer?” Chase asked.
“I’m okay,” she said. “But thank you.”
Chase leaned toward me. “She’s really cute.” He lowered his voice but I was certain Aspen heard him.
“I know,” I said in a normal voice.
“Is she single?” he asked.
“No.” I rolled my eyes and gave Aspen an apologetic look.
She smiled like she was amused.
“Damn,” Chase said. “The pretty ones are always taken.”
“Yeah…” I stepped closer to Aspen. “Unless you need something else, we’re going to go.”
“No, I’m okay,” Chase said. “I hope you can pick up your night again.”
“We’ll be fine,” Aspen said.
“Bye.” I opened the door and let Aspen walk out.
Then Chase came to me and hugged me. “I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass. I hope one day I can be there for you like you are for me.”
I took a deep breath then returned the hug. It was hard to stay mad at him when I loved him so much. “I know you will.” I patted his back then stepped away.
He grabbed my shoulder before I walked out. “Dude, she’s really cute. Go for it.”
“She’s my client.”
“Whatever,” he said with a shrug. “If you don’t go for her, I will.”
“Like you could compete with me,” I said with a laugh. “You’re scared of shadows.”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m not ridiculously charming.”
“You can’t even take her out to breakfast.”
“Who said anything about breakfast?” he asked. “She’ll only be here for the night.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a cocky way then retreated inside his apartment.
I rolled my eyes then returned to Aspen, hoping this night could somehow return to normalcy.
Aspen eyed me but didn’t say anything.
“Don’t judge me.” I was half joking, half serious.
“I’m not,” she said. “But you look like you could use some ice cream.” There was a playful tone to her voice.
“I definitely could use some ice cream.”
She gave me a bright smile. “I’ll even give you my cherry.”
Aspen and I ate in silence. She hadn’t asked me anything about Chase and it didn’t seem like she was going to. I knew she must be curious with a million questions going through her mind. But she held her silence.
“I’m sorry about tonight,” I finally said.
“There’s no reason to apologize,” she said. “Things happen.”
“Normal things, yes,” I said with a sigh. “Not stuff like that.”
She didn’t laugh or make a joke. She continued to eat her ice cream like everything was okay.
“I’m sorry it happened tonight of all times.”
She abandoned her ice cream then put her hand over mine. Her palm was warm despite the cold treat she was eating. The touch enveloped me and made me feel safe even though it was so innocent. There was a serious look in her eyes, but there was also sympathy. “My mom got Alzheimer’s when she was thirty-five. It happened so suddenly I didn’t even know how to process it. Within four months, she couldn’t remember my face. Every day when I saw her, I had to introduce myself and regain her trust before she even let me read to her. It interrupted my life but I refused to leave my mother. I missed birthday parties, weddings, and everything fun so I could be with her. I understand that some things are out of our control. I’m not upset and I don’t think less of you for attending to your brother. If anything, I would have been upset if you put work first.” Her hand remained on top of mine, and her pulse was distant and faint.
I stared into her eyes and understood her at a whole new level. Her confession made me grow fonder of her. She’d experienced more pain than anyone should, and yet, she still found the strength to smile and laugh. I felt comfortable with her, no longer afraid of the secret I hoarded. She didn’t judge me or think less of me. She understood me, completely and utterly. “Thank you…”
She pulled her hand away, leaving me cold.
“I’m sorry about your mom.”
Aspen looked into her cup even though it was nearly empty. “It wasn’t easy to go through. My mom was an amazing woman and to watch her lose her mind like that was…painful. I tried to hold onto her memory and let it be replaced by the terrified woman she’d become. When she died…I was actually glad she was gone. To live in a state of complete confusion is no way to live.”
It made me realize I had no right to complain about Chase. He may have an unusual fear but it didn’t affect any other part of him. He was still my brother, the same guy I’d known my entire life. We still played games together and had a good time together. He was still the same person he’d always been. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I’m really am.”
“I know.” She gave me a sad smile. Then she grabbed her cherry by the stem and dropped it in my bowl. “A little something to lighten up your night.”
“You already did,” I said seriously. I ate the cherry then tossed the stem back in the cup.
She rested her elbows on the table and regarded me with an expression I couldn’t identify. Was it pity? Was it sympathy? Was it affection? I wasn’t sure. “You want to talk about it?”
Even if she didn’t open up about her mom, I would have told her about Chase. “When I was seven and Chase was five, he and my parents took a camping trip in Connecticut. They’d planned the trip for a long time but I got sick, so they left me with my aunt and uncle. Naturally, I was upset about being left behind, but as soon as my aunt made me Mickey Mouse pancakes and let me watch whatever I wanted on TV, I stopped complaining.” I remembered that weekend vividly, like it just happened a few weeks ago. Just because I was young didn’t mean my mind wasn’t absolutely clear during that time. “Something happened, even to this day nobody knows what, and my parents drove off the road and down a cliff.”
Her eyes were wide and a coat of moisture developed instantly.
“The car rolled a few times then stopped at the bottom. My parents died on impact, at least that’s what the authorities say. Since Chase was in the backseat he survived without a scratch. But a pile of trees they’d smacked into crashed on top of the car. As a result, it was pitch black. Chase was trapped inside for almost three days before the authorities found him. I think that’s where his phobia comes from. It was dark and he was stuck with my parents’ corpses. That would scar anyone…”
She looked down then sniffed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“I’m fine,” she lied, dabbing her eyes with a napkin.
“I’ve been understanding of Chase’s fear because it was such a traumatic thing to exper
ience. I hoped as he aged, it would go away. My aunt and uncle raised us, and they accommodated him as much as they could. But it never went away. He fears shadows because he claims they’ll suck his soul out and kill him. Chase never talks about it, and every time I ask, he won’t answer, but I think my parents were still alive after the crash. I think he watched them die and could do nothing about it. He watched the light leave their eyes and their bodies stiffen. As a child, he probably thought the darkness took them, not the collision itself.
“He doesn’t go out during the day unless I’m with him. I made up a lie a long time ago about having a Shadow Sword. It’s an undefeatable weapon that can pierce any shadow. It’s the only way he’ll go out under the sun. He goes out on his own when the sun is gone, but sometimes, like tonight, something happens to freak him out. Then I have to go get him.
“He’s normal in every other way. He does computer programming from home and makes decent change from that but he can’t support himself on his own. My aunt and uncle are poor, so we told them he moved on from his phobia and works a regular job. I know my aunt and uncle wouldn’t let me support him. They would do everything they could to handle it themselves. They don’t know I make good money because I don’t want them to know I’m an escort, so we had to lie. Most days, everything is good. He and I hang out like normal brothers. But there are times like this when it gets difficult and he scares the shit out of me.”
She listened to me passively with emotion in her eyes. Her thoughts were unknown to me, but I knew she was hurting for me. She stared at her hands on the table before she stood up then sat in my lap.
She’d never done that before. The most she’d ever done was hold my hand. But when she moved on top of me, I pulled her close. The proximity was against the rules. It wasn’t handholding or an arm around the waist. But I’d broken so many other rules that I didn’t care about breaking this one.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her face on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Rhett.”
