The kitchen was a mess, with pots and pans in the sink and crumbs all over the counter. I was sure I looked worse.
“You’re up already?” came Liam’s voice as he walked down the stairs.
“Yeah. I think I’m finished.” I rattled off the menu and watched his mouth gape.
“You stayed up all night, didn’t you? I came down to check on you and didn’t see you. I thought you’d gone to bed.”
“I took a power nap. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. You’re exhausted. Come on. You need to sleep.”
My eyes were heavy and my head muddled. It felt as though I’d had more than my fair share of alcohol instead of staying up all night. “I need to clean up the kitchen. I don’t like dirty dishes.”
“I’ll do it.”
“No, no. I’ll get my second wind. You have the funeral today.”
“That’s not until eleven, and it’s only seven now. My sister is driving my mom while we bring the food to the church.”
“’Kay.” My mind was already shutting down. Man, I really didn’t do well without sleep.
“Go to bed, Kendall.”
“Uh-huh. I will. Just need a little rest first.” I intended to sit on the couch for a minute. But instead, strong arms lifted me up.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Liam
She was dead on her feet. If I’d known she would be up all night, I wouldn’t have gone to bed. I would’ve helped. Now, seeing her sit on the sofa as if she was too tired to make it into the bedroom, I did the only thing I could. I picked her up.
She was so small. So warm. So snuggling into my chest. I had to take a deep breath to calm my rapid heartbeat, but breathing in her scent had been a mistake. Strawberry lip gloss tickled my nose.
“This isn’t the way I imagined you taking me to bed,” she murmured once I got into her room.
My breath caught at her admission.
I set her down gently, pulling the covers up over her to effectively tuck her in. “How did you picture it?” Despite realizing we were in dangerous territory, I had to know.
She was so beautiful despite her exhaustion. I found my hand couldn’t help but reach out and move her hair to the side, stroking her cheek.
Her eyes went wide. “I shouldn’t have said that out loud.”
Which meant she was definitely thinking it. “It’s okay. I know you’re tired. Get some sleep.”
“You’ll wake me up in time?”
“Yes. I sure will.”
I didn’t want to wake her. Her face was relaxed in slumber. Her body curled up on her side as she cuddled a pillow. I was tempted to leave her here while I delivered the food to the church, but I knew with all of the work she’d done, she should at least be there to take the credit. Selfishly, it also took my mind off of the funeral to know she’d be there with me.
Without even trying, she calmed me. Eased my tension and anxiety about today. This was ironic since merely a week ago I’d been intensely uncomfortable around her. But I realized in dropping my barrier with her, I’d been given a gift. A gift of getting to know her. But it came with a responsibility. A responsibility to keep the professional lines intact. She was my assistant. I was her boss. Despite the temptation, I couldn’t risk a physical relationship with her.
I tapped her shoulder gently. “Time to wake up.”
Her eyes blinked open slowly. The way she looked at me made my heartbeat double. As if we were frozen in this moment. As if she’d love nothing more than for me to climb into bed with her and gather her close.
The thought was so enticing I had to step back. “It’s nine thirty. We should leave in a half hour.”
“’Kay.”
I left to give her privacy and heard the sound of the shower start. Jesus. Maybe I needed another one. A cold one.
A half hour later we loaded up the truck and headed to the church.
“You doing okay?” she asked.
I glanced over in her direction where she sat in the passenger seat. “Yeah. Thanks.” And because it felt right to share, I said, “I saw him yesterday.”
“How did it go?”
“Rough, as expected. But at least I can tell her I did it. I’m looking forward to getting back to reality tomorrow.”
“If it helps, I checked on our flights, and they’re still on schedule despite the snow.”
“Good. I’m guessing you’re working tomorrow night?” At the club.
“Yeah. Both Friday and Saturday nights.”
What could I say? That I didn’t like it. That I wanted her to quit even knowing she used the money to help her family. “Will you be short this month for your grandmother’s housing payment since you didn’t work last weekend?”
“No. The overtime from this week will more than compensate for it.”
I suddenly had an idea. What if I could offer her more overtime work on the weekends? She could help me with my cases instead of bartending at the club. I certainly had enough to keep her busy. But now wasn’t the time for the discussion as we’d just pulled up in front of the church.
My mother stood there as if she was waiting. I noticed the relief on her face. Almost as though she’d worried about whether or not I would show up. Today would be hard as they’d be talking about a man I never knew. A man my mother believed deserved the good things said about him. I would figure out a way to be okay with a new angle on an old history.
“You okay?” Kendall asked before we opened the doors. This time she focused on me fully with her body turned.
My hand took hers as if it was the most natural action in the world. “Ask me later. Come on. Let’s unload the best food anyone in this town will have ever eaten.”
Just smelling it made me hungry. But knowing how hard she’d worked on everything humbled me. It also made my chest tight; I was aware of how tired she must be now.
The next hour was a blur. Since there were plenty of church volunteers to help Kendall, I had no choice but to go with my family into the church. There sat the urn. At least I could be thankful there wasn’t an open casket. Seeing him yesterday had been hard enough.
Sitting still during the service was near impossible. I sat next to my mother, swallowing down the bitter taste while I listened to the kind words the preacher had to say. It was all I could do to remain cordial while people expressed their condolences after the service.
Once we went into the reception hall, I grabbed a moment to myself, slipping out the back door to breathe in the frozen air. I had no coat, yet I didn’t feel the cold. A voice brought me out of my internal thoughts.
“There you are, handsome.”
I turned toward the door to see Tonya. We’d dated for all of two months in high school. Although she’d aged well and still had a rockin’ body, my dick didn’t even stir in her presence.
“Hello.”
“You, uh, interested in finding a quiet corner? Warmer than having to escape outside.”
I was, but not if it included her.
It was as if she read my mind. “Try downstairs where they have the day care. They have restrooms down there if you need a minute.”
“Thanks, Tonya.”
“Anytime, sugar.”
I took a breath when I heard the door shut again. Perhaps I would take a moment and go downstairs to collect my thoughts. I went back in and skirted around the back though I did catch a glimpse of Kendall. She looked lovely in a black wrap dress. Her hair was back in a low ponytail, and she was happily manning the food tables. I could already hear the murmurs of people’s compliments about the catering.
It took me a minute to find the stairs down, but once I did, it was just as Tonya described. Quiet. I went into the men’s room and splashed water on my face, afterward studying my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were drooping. My face pale. I was tired. And in dire need of a good, punishing workout. The type to get my blood flowing and my mind back where it needed to be. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough for my return to California.
Anger unexpectedly coursed through me. I cursed out loud, talking myself down from hitting a wall or a mirror. I wouldn’t. No. I was in control. Only I could feel it slipping. Feel the careful façade I’d built over the years, the one exuding confidence and composure, start to crumble. My skin was tight. My breathing uneven. Maybe I was having a nervous breakdown. Or an anxiety attack of some sort. The sound of a soft knock took me off guard.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kendall
The food was a hit. Liam’s mother came up to thank me profusely for such a lovely spread, making all of the stress and hard work worth it. Not even the snow had kept a crowd of sixty from coming out. I was happy to provide what little comfort I could to her and the family.
Allison walked up with her youngest daughter on her hip. “God, these meatballs are the best thing ever. Well, maybe not compared to the quiche or these little salmon things. You are in the wrong job, Kendall. You need to cater.”
“Thank you. I’m just glad it worked out okay.”
“I would guess it worked out better than the food from the place in Blacksburg.” She scanned the people in the spacious room. “Have you seen my brother?”
“No. Not since after the service.” I’d seen him walk out. He’d looked a bit lost. And I’d had to keep myself from going up to take his hand. But in light of what I may or may not have said early this morning, I kept my distance. My thoughts were hazy as to whether he’d carried me to my bed. And as to whether I’d told him it wasn’t the way I’d imagined. Or maybe it had been part of my dream? I’d been so tired I’d been delirious.
One of the church ladies approached me with a smile. “Did you bring any coffee to serve with the desserts, my dear?”
“No. I didn’t.” My shoulders sagged as I realized I should’ve thought of it.
“No worries. We have some. It’s downstairs in the storage room, though.”
“I’ll go get it if you give me directions.”
I set off for the coffee with explicit directions: go down the steps and turn left past the restrooms until you hit the room at the end of the hallway.
As soon as I came up on the men’s restroom, however, I heard a loud curse followed by some muttering. Huh. It sounded like Liam. I paused, about to move on when I heard it again. This time there was no mistaking his voice. I felt like I’d recognize it anywhere.
Not knowing what to expect, I knocked on the men’s room door. When there was no answer, I let out a soft, “Hello.”
Liam opened the door and, for a moment, looked completely out of sorts.
“You okay?”
“Fine. What are you doing down here?”
He didn’t look fine. He looked as if he wanted to run far, far away.
“Oh, one of the ladies told me to get coffee from the storage room. I guess it’s at the end of this hall. I heard you in here, but I didn’t mean to intrude.”
His face softened. “You didn’t. Come on. I’ll help you get the coffee.”
We walked in silence to the end of the hall where we found the gray door the church lady had described. Opening it revealed a small closet with shelves on one side containing staple items like coffee. On the other side were brooms and dustpans. I reached up to the tall shelf, but it was a good six inches too high. Thankfully, Liam reached over me for the assist, giving me one of his rare smiles.
We both froze at the woman’s voice behind us. “There you are. Although I would’ve preferred the restroom, I can certainly take your mind off of things in the supply closet just as well, sugar.”
I turned around, realizing Liam’s body was blocking me from view. Tonya had thought it was only him in front of the closet.
His gaze met mine, a mixture of annoyance and humor in the depths of it. “You okay with another fake rescue?” he murmured, drawing my hungry gaze to his full lips.
“What did you have in mind?” My voice was breathless. My mind raced with the possibility of pretending to be his girlfriend again.
He turned to face his high school ex. “I’m down here with Kendall, but again, I appreciate you telling me where we could get some privacy.”
I peeked around him to watch her face turn red, and I parroted his words. “Yes. Appreciate it.”
But she didn’t leave right away. Not until Liam faced me, placing his hands at my hips and leaning down as if he was about to kiss me, pausing at the last second.
I barely registered the sound of her walking away. Instead, my hands found their way around his neck, my body inching closer to his until we were touching. I should have pulled away now that she was gone. But I couldn’t. Instead, we closed the gap, and suddenly his mouth was on mine.
His full lips soft to the touch, yet possessive in his exploration. Heat coursed immediately through my body with the contact.
A throaty moan was my response when he moved the kiss to my neck.
“We should stop,” he whispered against my ear.
“Uh-huh. Or we could ensure she gets the message in case she comes back.” It was an excuse. A flimsy excuse to keep kissing him.
He nibbled my bottom lip. As soon as his tongue entered my mouth again, I seized it, sucking on it lightly and causing him to growl. It was as if a switch had been flipped. No longer were we tentative and exploring. We were carnal.
His hands gripped my ass, and he lifted me up onto the shelf while he kicked the door closed.
The darkness was immediate, but I didn’t care once he stepped in between my legs. Oh, God, I could feel him hard against me. I practically rolled my hips into his at the erotic contact. I needed him. It was clear by the way his hands were quickly moving my dress up that he needed me, too. We were both desperate for more. My hands fumbled with his belt while he made quick work out of yanking down my thong. Next he began searching for what I assumed was his wallet.
“Shit, no condom.”
My hands halted, disappointment hitting me hard. “I’m not on the pill.” Not that pregnancy was the only reason we shouldn’t go bare.
He cursed, bending his head to my neck. The sensation of his heavy breath in my ear was giving me shivers. So was the fact that we were unbelievably close.
Suddenly he turned around. It sounded as though he was pulling up his trousers. I seemed to be on my own for getting down from the shelf. I clumsily did so, pulling up my thong and trying to straighten my dress.
I was at a loss for words, waiting for him to say something.
Finally, he opened the door, letting in the light.
While his back was still turned, I smoothed my hair down. I was sure my lips were swollen, making me appear like I’d been fucked senseless.
The thought we’d been doing this in the basement of the church holding his father’s funeral instantly shamed me.
“Are you okay?” I asked tentatively.
He finally spun around and made eye contact. Barely. His expression had regret written all over it. Even his voice was small. “I need to get back upstairs.”
Right. To return to his grieving family. This had been a bad idea all the way around. “Of course. You should go.” I needed a moment to calm myself before I could be seen again.
He took a step, then turned back toward me, opening his mouth but evidently deciding against whatever he was going to say. Instead, he simply left without another word, leaving me there with tears in my eyes and shame heavy on my shoulders.
What the hell had I done?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Liam
Escape could not come quickly enough. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears, and the only thing I could think of was how I’d almost fucked my assistant in the supply closet down in the basement of the church.
Self-loathing wasn’t a strong enough word for what I was feeling. Simply put, I’d been ready to use her against a storage room shelf. If I’d had a condom, there was no doubt I’d still be balls deep inside of her. Had I even touched her to make sure she was ready? Nope. I’d been ready to rut against
her like a selfish bastard.
I’d screwed up.
Royally.
I was in a daze as I climbed the stairs to the funeral reception. I had to get out of here.
“You okay?” my sister asked, coming up to me with her brows drawn together in concern.
“No. I need a drive. Can you drop Kendall off at the house?”
“Sure. But are you all right? You don’t look so hot.” If I appeared one-tenth as bad as I was feeling, it was no wonder she was concerned.
“I will be. Just gotta leave.”
“Okay. Call me later or at least text. Or if you want to come over—you can.”
“I’ll let you know.”
I drove to a local place, three miles away, and took a seat at the old wooden bar. “Bourbon neat,” I ordered. “Can you leave the bottle?”
The old barkeep looked like he could play Santa during December. “You got it,” he said with a kind smile.
I tipped back my first swallow. God, it burned. No top shelf here.
What the hell was I going to do? Would we be able to work together again? Would she accept my apology? Was she already calling HR? It might be unfair for me to automatically jump to the conclusion she’d take it there, but then again, I wouldn’t blame her. Especially after I’d simply left her following my manhandling. I was no better than her last boss.
Another swallow went down, burning less this time. My phone vibrated with my mother’s number displayed. I silenced it and then threw back another shot. Numb. I wanted to be numb to the fact I was a horrible son, a terrible boss, and an even worse human being.
One of the older men two stools down tapped the bar top. “You Fred Davenport’s son?”
My gaze focused on him, trying to place his weathered face, wire-rimmed glasses, and crooked smile. “Who’s asking?”
“Name is Chuck. Chuck Lassiter. Used to work with him. You resemble your old man. I mean when he was younger. Was sorry to read his obituary in the paper.”
Miss Understanding (The Miss Series Book 1) Page 13
